|
|
|
|
|
Submitted by Wevv Mang on Sunday, July 2, 2006 at 10:25 PM EST
Ridin’ With The Bossman – Over-Analyzing De-Generation X Greetings! Welcome to another edition of Ridin’ With The Bossman. Brooke Hogan’s favorite column. I’d like to take this time to thank everyone who sent me well wishes on my pending marriage to Trish Stratus. So, if you sent me column feedback, well, I’m sorry I didn't get a chance to reply. In between the congratulations, outraged shock, and spam, my email box has been full. I would like to say this about the spam I’ve been getting. I keep getting this spam for some sex toy that looks like a veiny doughnut. I’m scared to look at it, let alone think about inserting my penis into it. The shit they come up with…makes wrestling look normal. HEY! Happy Fourth Of July! Independence Day! How ironic that ECW, a show that’s supposed to independent from WWE falls on this day, with all the rumors about Vince taking control of the show. More on that later, or maybe not. I’ve got 7 hours of wrestling to cover, and then there’s TNA, and I did watch some of it. The opening was just hilarious for all the wrong reasons. I think I have it on tape, but haven't watched it yet, surprise, surprise. But let’s get rolling shall we? WWE TV – The Series VENGENCE! Recap courtesy of Carl Walsh So, I’m at the bar where the PPV is going to be shown. We got a dust storm that knocked out the first 45 minutes. That or Vince read my column, and called Direct TV and told them to shut down all broadcasts the Phoenix. Hey, it could have happened. Anyhoo, the show came back just in time for the Flair Foley match, so that’s where I’ll pick it up. Flair vs Foley Well, Foley did promise to stink up the place, and that’s what happened. It wasn’t good. It had a few good moments, like the Ric Flair Socko, which was hilarious, but that was the high point. Some good mat work, but nothing special. Flair got the first fall, and then Foley got himself DQ’d right after that. Foley then beat the crap out of Flair. - So, this hopefully means that the feud will continue, and it shows great promise. Maria, Carlito, and Torrie Great segment, just great. Hot chicks, rubbing each other with oil, and well, Carlito nailed the reaction to being called for his match right on the money. That wasn’t cool. Carlito vs Nitro vs Shelton Excellent match. Good stuff. Some good moves, lots of action, and the winner could have been anyone. A real competition. Nitro stole the pin, which was a bit of a shocker. Spirit Squad and Vince Vince gives a pep talk to the Spirit Squad. He said DX is a disease, and the only sure is a lethal dose of POISON! Well, I was waiting for it, but he never actually said that. Instead he said stuff like MAKE THEM PAY! $39.95 to be precise. Edge vs RVD This match took a while for me to get into. RVD can sell like a mofo, but his offense, like punches and some kicks, looked pretty weak. Then again, when you can jump off of anything, it makes up for it. Back and forth match, but a basic tactic of RVD getting the snot knocked out of him, to make the big comeback. Ending was still a bit of a surprise, in that RVD retained the belt. Kane vs Kane Bullshit match. Seriously. Fake Kane wins. What more needs to be said? Sabu vs Cena Brutal match, and not just the iffy spots. Sabu beat the hell out of Cena. Cena took every move Sabu threw at him, and was still standing at the end. Cena got the win by tossing Sabu over the ropes, through a table. The WWE guys then rolled Sabu into the ring, and Cena made him tap. Well, I didn't like the tap, but a pin would have done the trick. Degeneration X vs The Spirit Squad. HBK did the selling, and H just beat the Squad up. First few minutes were total domination. Next ten was the comeback of the Squad, and then the final few saw some spots, and then squash city. Johnny is a trooper though. His nose got busted, and was gushing blood, and he stayed in the whole match, took quite a few bumps, and still managed to do a comedy spot. Dude has guts. Ending say the Spirit Squad clusterfuck each other, and then H and HBK both got pins on Squad members for the win. We then got the required ass showing. Eh, a good PPV, with good surprise endings, and some good potential angles. Raw Recap courtesy of Carl Walsh Well, I missed the first part of the show again. No outage, just…stuff. So, I missed Trish jobbing in record time. Oh well. I got it on tape, and that’s a match I will watch. Eventually. I came tuned in just in time to see: Umaga vs Kamala OK, like I said, I missed the PPV match, so have no idea why this is happening. Reading the forums, I’m not alone, and those folks actually saw the match. Umaga beats the crap out of Kamala, who over sells constantly. I guess it’s a favor to Lawler, using Kamala I mean. Umaga, you had momentum, and now, not so sure. Ches. Divas Search! Some mighty hot chicks. Looking forward to it. I think I hate Miz. Bring back Coach! Torrie! She’s got a cover of a magazine that I won't buy to hype. You have nay idea how expensive those things are? I gots the Internet. That means their online somewhere. For free. Well, Edge came out, got the cheap heat, and then called ECW a joke, and then said he’s leaving. Which he did. And he grabbed his T-Shirts from the booth on his way out. That action right there made me proud. I love cheap plugs, and well, that was pretty cheap. Well done. Cena Speaks Cena says that he’s been beaten up, and he’s still standing, He’s gone into ECW’s house, and taken everything they’ve thrown at him. - He has taken just about everything they’ve thrown at him, and I do believe it’s helped him tremendously. He’s got HBK dislike about now, based on reactions I saw at the bar. The kind where the fans bash him, but he’s growing on them, and they don't want to openly admit to liking him. The tide is starting to turn. Viscera and Venis vs Murdoch and Cade That’s Cade? I didn't recognize him. Well, short match, which was used to set up Hass doing a Randy Orton impression on Lillian. Way to go WWE, keep that creepy vibe going. Brooke Hogan I will say this. I saw only one main difference between this video and what I perceive to be the standard of young, hot chick videos. Brooke didn't come across as a whore. This to me, just shows that Hogan really is the smartest man in wrestling. I’ve read countless rumors of Hogan’s involvement with his daughter’s career. And if this is the final product, then he’s done a good job. He let his daughter look hot, which is a plus, and kept her from getting slutty. In other words, Brooke came across as Brittney Spears did when she first emerged on the scene. Wholesome entertainment for young girls, that their parents won't mind them watching her videos, going to concerts, and so forth. Randy Orton Yes, the first shot back from the video is Randy Orton. I laughed for a good ten minutes over that. And I knew that there was nothing else I needed to see after that. But I still watched. And thought about HBK and Hogan. DX Hijinks Good grief. Look folks, I’m not a fan, so I won't throw your heroes under the bus. But I do have to say something. DX has peaked. That was the high point. And you know where I think it was? When H was doing the Vince impression and talking about loving dicks. That was funny. HBK doing the Shane dance? Two-second chuckle, but I can see the appeal. Ten minutes of it? Even you HBK fans must have gotten tired of it after two minutes. And I have only one more thing to add. At the end, when Vince, Shane and the Spirit Squad showed up, DX almost turned them face. They were very close to getting cheered. Because all I heard before they showed up was dead silence. And the shit didn't help. OAW will be about the remarks of Triple H. Because it was a shoot promo, and well, there was a lot of truth in what he said, and we might as well look at it, as impartially as I can. I promise nothing. Mainly I want to talk about this new trend of “Shoot” Promos from a member of the McMahon family. Kane vs Randy Orton Pointless match. Fake Kane ran in, got beaten up and apparently, the whole angle has gotten the kibosh. So, what was the point of Kane jobbing anyway? Damn, I missed another Highlanders bit. Oh well, not like I was fired up for their arrival anyway. They’ll get the belts as soon as they show up and be jobbing to DX or some one else until Summerslam, where they will loose the belts and become full time jobbers, if not fired right out. This has been history of the WWE Tag Team Champions 101. Ric Flair Speaks Great promo from Ric. Indeed, this feud just got a lot better. Ric says that everything he said about Foley is true. Cena vs RVD Good match. Back and forth action, and once again, Edge runs in and takes out Cena, and RVD, and then says he’ll see RVD tomorrow night, on ECW. RVD retains. Surprising show. Some good matches, some good bits, and a lot of stuff that shows promise, and then there was the stuff that wasn’t that good. Quite a mixed bag. ECW Recap Courtesy of Chad Matthews No screwing around as we get a match right off the bat. Sabu vs Roadkill Another short and brutal match. Sabu got the submission pin after pounding on Roadkill’s back with a chair and slapping on the Camel Clutch. The Vampire is back Look, I have no problem with a vampire character, as long as it’s done well (Tip O’ the Hat to PWA’s own Bloodrose), but if this guy is just going to be a Dracula imposter, well, no thanks. Hey, here’s a radical idea, have him be Mordecai. Remember that guy? Tommy Dreamer Speaks And says he respects Big Show and asks to be beaten again. He gets his wish. Kelly and Her Boyfriend Kelly is damn hot and this goober says only he should be allowed to see her body. I, and the rest of the fans, say BOO! Kurt Angle Speaks And we get hype for the July 15th Saturday Night Main Event. Not the best of promos for Angle. Mike Knox vs Danny Doring Eh, it was a match, and these kind of matches are doing their job. Introducing each character, both old and new, to the audience. Knox wins, and Kelly strips. Everyone is a winner. Sandman vs Creative Team Member Who Likes Being On TV and Being Almost Naked So, that guy writes for the WWE, eh? And he likes being naked. What a shocker that he made it to TV. Slightly amusing, but took too long to get to the beating. Also, Sandman needs to speak at some point. Not much, just look angry, and bite the words off. -And on that note, bring back the Zombie! Have him challenge Sandman to a rematch in his own unique way. RRRGGGGGG! ECW is burning through gimmicks, and that going to bite them in the ass sooner, rather than later. Paul and RVD have a talk Paul warns RVD about over confidence, and RVD says he can handle it. RVD gets closer and closer to the RVD I knew back in the day. The one I liked. The pot smoking references were good, but it was the cocky arrogant guy that I thought was cool. Tazz, Edge, and Lita Tazz needs more practice at interviewing. Edge said he does whatever he wants. That was the gist of it. What’s that smell? Is it…run in? I think it is. RVD vs Kurt Angle Good match. Given lots of time to develop. RVD wins again, and that’s a good thing. After the match, Edge spears RVD, and then makes out with Lita. The show continues to find it’s style. And I do think it’s getting better. Whether it be Vince or Paul, or the combination of both, I think this show has legs. First, it helped re-establish Cena, and now, it’s working with Edge. Smackdown Recap courtesy of Damon Faulkner, DDP’s nephew We start things off with a recap, and then Mark Henry takes the ring. Out to lunch. He’s got a coupon for Burger King. Hey, he’s the World’s Strongest Man dammit! Mark Henry Speaks Mark threatens Chavo, and says he will END them! Chavo comes out and says the Guerrero Name is bulletproof, and well, WWE sure did try to destroy it, and failed. Mark says he would spit on Eddie and Chavo attacks. Mark makes quick work of Chavo. Mysterio comes out to make the save, but gets beaten up. Mark then goes back to work on Chavo while Rey looks confused. Mark just ends up leaving. Not good. Strong at first, but the ending sucked. Sugar Shane Helms vs Super Crazy Fast paced match, and it’s good to see that Hurricane is still alive. They must have seen him backstage and asked who he was. Imagine their surprise when they heard the words “Cruiserweight Champion”. What’s that? OH yeah! So, we get a match. Psychosis runs in and attacks Crazy, and we get a no contest finish. The Pitbulls (Jamie Noble and Kid Kash) vs Jobbers While cleaning out the truck that delivers the costumes, they must have come across some old Basham gear. And needing a name, they threw out Pitbulls. So, here we are. Pitbulls beat the jobbers. Surprise. Now, I am a fan of Nobles work, and Kid Kash had some great matches, so these guys can go, and a new tag team is not a bad thing. Divas Search Hot chicks. Always a good thing. I hate Miz. Guy is annoying. Ashley must have had some facial work done while she was out with her leg injury. After the clips, we get Ashley and Krystal talking, and Krystal slaps Ashley and calls her a bitch. Hey, Krystal was in the Divas Search if I remember correctly. Matt Hardy vs Finlay Great match. I loved the spot where Finlay gets thrown over the top rope, lands outside, and the Leprechaun grabs him by mistake. Just great. But the match itself was rock solid. The Leprechaun threw a Guinness to JBL. Finlay gets the win with shenanigans. Cheesehead vs Gunner Scott Quick match, and almost, but not quite, a squash match. It ends with the Kenton Bomb and Kennedy getting the pin. It goes downhill after that as Khali comes out, and Daviari makes a challenge to the Undertaker. Vito vs Simon Dean And Vito comes out in a dress, and they’re trying to make us think this is odd. Look, there have been plenty of wrestlers in a dress. The Headbanger come to mind. And wearing a dress in public is no big deal, especially if there is a camera around. Vito wins. Bobby Lashley vs Booker T In a steel cage. Good match. The Court was outside the cage, and still played a factor, since if there’s a steel cage, you’re almost guaranteed a run in of some kind in WWE. Lashley escaped the cage and retained the US title. Which is a good thing. Now, Booker should move on to challenge for the Big Belt. He’s got the momentum, and Chavo vs Booker would be great to see. Wow. Seven hours of wrestling this week, from WWE alone. I don't have the energy to do TNA. All I know is that Cornette gave the belt to Jarrett and fans threw stuff at them. Good job TNA. Way to please your fans. You’re getting great heel heat, but it’s heat for the company, not for Jarrett. Poor Christian. Nothing ever changes, eh? Raw has peaked, but the undercard is looking strong. Carlito, Nitro, and Benjamin are solid, along with Foley and Flair, and then there’s the ongoing saga with Cena, Edge, and ECW. DX, well, honestly, where can they go? They just covered Vince in shit. What else could they do? Nothing. And they’ll get twenty minutes in which to do it. But the next cycle starts tomorrow, and we’ll just have to wait and see what happens. Over-Analyzing Wrestling Today’s Topic: Shooting From The Hip On Monday Night Raw, Triple H said some things that might be considered insider knowledge. He said some things that might be considered controversial. Indeed, as a bulletproof member of the McMahon family, a key member of the Executive Creative Committee, deciding what gets put on TV, and husband of one of the other two thirds. Indeed, H may have been the only person able to say those things on national TV, specifically WWE TV, period. While net fans drool over his words, let’s take a closer look at what the big shoot comments were. Dick Ebersol Dick Ebersol is the Chairman of NBC Sports Universal. He was instrumental in bringing Sunday Night Football to NBC. Dick is known as a sports guy, a real sports guy, not a wrestling guy. He’s worked on the Olympics, and the Bob Costas show. But there is one interesting fact. Dick was in charge of Saturday Night Live in the eighties. He was credited with saving the show, and rebuilding the cast, bringing in Martin Short, Eddie Murphy, Billy Crystal, and others. Indeed, he brought about the second coming of SNL. There is one tidbit that should be mentioned. Dick Ebersol fired Norm McDonald for making an on air joke about Dick. So, Dick has a sense of humor, but knows when it’s appropriate. H’s comments probably mean nothing to him, and in fact, Dick probably has no idea his name was mentioned. The context of the name dropping is such that it’s not a knock, just a name H probably heard, and may not even know who Dick Ebersol is, except ‘Some dude at NBC”. XFL The XFL, which didn't stand for anything, contrary to popular belief, was a national football league started by Vince McMahon, in partnership with UPN, and NBC. The games were to be broadcast on both stations, on Saturday and Sunday, with a Prime Time game on Saturday night. It was heavily hyped on WWE programming. It’s first broadcast game got a 9 rating. I remember it for the scene where a lineman got hurt, and a camera was on him, while he rolled around in pain. For minutes on end. I thought to myself, this can't be good. The ratings quickly dropped, to stabilize around the lowest ratings in broadcast history. One of the biggest controversies of the league, was when a game went long, and cut into the debut of Saturday Night Live’s new season. Which had J-Lo. Lorne Michaels complained and NBC listened to him. In the end, the XFL lost a ton of money for both WWE and NBC. We’re talking millions. Granted, the World Restaurant that WWE was running lost more (which I find amazing, but it’s true), and the XFL became the joke of the sports world, and stayed that way for years. Oddly enough, there are still XFL players active in the NFL. Tommy Maddox, and Jose Cortez, or at least, I think Jose is still active. Then I just learned that John Avery, who played RB for the Chicago team is active with the team that got Ricky Williams. So, when H mentioned the XFL, I was not alone in wincing and giving the verbal equivalent. Which WWE wisely showed when they cut to crowd. H is in charge H and HBK made the comment that Shane is going to take over, then said no, and more than hinted that H would be in charge when Vince died. This is almost true. See, if the rumors are right, WWE will be split three ways. H, Steph, and Shane. H and Steph will have the majority, and well, H is showing that he’s pretty much in control. At least while Steph is pregnant. So, that one was true, and I was left wondering if this comment was based on some real life strife. Was there really any reason to bring this up? Not that I can think of. Other than H loves to just bury his opponents. Steph’s Pregnancy We know she is pregnant. We know she is married to H. We know H is the father. What some have been dreading, and hope would never happen, is that this fact would become an angle on Raw. Well, it looks like it’s going to happen. Steph is creeping onto the scene, and she hasn't been seen on TV in weeks. But she is now being mentioned time and time again in the Main Angle of Raw. Covering Vince in Crap This was shocking because Vince agreed to do it. Now, I can only imagine that Vince knew ahead of time what was going to happen, and what H was going to say. I am surprised that he allowed it. There is a difference between getting the upper hand on Vince with a beer bath, and actually dropping and covering fecal matter on Vince. Yet, there Vince was, there Shane was, and there the Spirit Squad were. Vince made fun of God. Vince has been unstoppable. Yet for the second week in a row, Vince was portrayed as a goof. HBK is clearly H’s sidekick. H is the top guy. Period. And that shows just how powerful H really is. Shoot. Work. It’s all on how much you want to read into it. Granted, it’s been made very easy. It happened on TV, but then again, nothing is real until it shows up on TV. Vince allowed it to happen, that is the determining factor. It all happened with Vince’s blessing. Now that the trigger has been pulled, will there be backlash? Will Vince re-assert his control? IS it all just an angle? It all depends on how much of a conspiracy theorist you are, and how much you want to read into it. Are you ready? Are you? And with that, it’s time to wrap this sucker up. Sorry, No Kane’s House, and frankly, I need to work on a new format, as five hours of TV a week may be too much to cover. It’s something I’m going to have to work on. Anyway, Happy 4rth! Don't blow yourselves up. Quick Plugs and I’m outta here. QUICK PLUGS! LOP FORUMS LOP COLUMNS FORUM THE MOVIE BAR! Great place for reviews of DVD's, Music, and special video clips. Your one stop review spot. THE PROJECT LIVES! Looking for submission of creative writing. A great way to get your work published, and noticed. LOP'S PWA E-FED. Best E-Fed on the net. Period. That's all for this week. Thanks for Readin' and Thanks For Ridin' Wevv Mang mrwevv@mac.com - PLEASE LABEL ALL EMAIL AS FEEDBACK. THANK YOU.
[Back to LOP] [News Archives] [Results] [Columns] [Forums]
|
|