WWE Heat Report for 5/28/06: Carlito vs. Cade, Haas vs. Conway, more
Submitted by Matthew Tremley on Sunday, May 28, 2006 at 4:56 PM EST





WWE Heat
Webcast on WWE.com
Date: May 28th, 2006

Match 1: Charlie Haas vs. Rob Conway

Gee, I'm sure Charlie is loving his choice to come back to the WWE. He's right back in the B-show level slot that he was in before he was fired the first time. You would think that with the Intercontinental Championship back around the waist of Shelton Benjamin, it would be the perfect setup for a Shelton/Haas feud. Of course, that requires the "thinkers" behind the scenes to actually have a clue.

Ahhh, here comes former World Tag Team Champion Rob Conway, who is still stuck is a lame rip-off version of the Buff Bagwell gimmick and is going nowhere fast. It's sad to see because the guy can work in the ring, but as so many people before him, he's stuck with one of the shittest characters around. Why not just reunite him with Rene Dupree and reform La Resistance? It's not like the WWE couldn't use more good tag teams these days since they have almost none on Raw.

I also want to point out that I HATE Haas's new theme music. Why does the WWE think that everyone needs to switch over to the generic heavy metal rock themes these days? I loved the old "World's Greatest Tag Team" theme music, and it's not like Shelton was using it anyways.

You know, I don't mind Todd Grisham. I honestly don't, but he's starting to develop the annoying habit that most WWE announcers end up getting and that is ignoring the match that's going on in front of them for 95% of the time in order to become a one-man recap for Raw. I really don't care about your take on the HHH/Vince issue Todd, nor do I really want you to tell me what happened on Raw. If I didn't see the show, I'll just either read about it online or borrow a tape from a friend.

As for the match, it was all right I guess. Haas was really trying to get a good match going, as he brought a lot of intensity and some crisp looking moves to the table, but I somehow think that Conway is just so disinterested in what's going on right now that he's just going through the motions. Not that he didn't have a few interesting moments, like a back suplex attempt right onto the top turnbuckle, or a few nice sounding kicks to the back that would make Tajiri proud. However, if anyone could make those kicks with equal and more force, it was Charlie, who actually made me wince a few times when he nailed Conway right in the back with a few of them. The end came when it looked like Haas was setting Conway up for a "Roll of the Dice" but then turned it into an inverted DDT. Charlie made the cover and picked up the win. I hope that Charlie will rework his old "Haas of Pain" submission hold back into his in-ring arsenal, because that always looked devastating and it's always good to have at least one submission finisher at your disposal.

Winner: Charlie Haas

Match 2: Victoria vs. Melissa Anderson

I know, I don't know who Anderson is either. It's very rare when they can put on a women's squash match. Victoria was looking smokin, and I wish they would give her something to do. I mean, I'd love to see her against Mickie James. Victoria would match Mickie's psycho moods very well and they both can work in the ring. I'm also still waiting for former TNA Diva Trinity to get the call up to the main roster. Victoria had control of this match about 99% of the time, with Melissa only getting one or two moments of offense. Victoria finally finished off Anderson with the Widow's Peak to pick up the win.

Winner: Victoria

Match 3: Eugene vs. Devon Nichelson

I'm not sure if I spelled the name of the indy worker correctly. This was a basic Eugene match. He'd get his comedy spots in at the beginning, then he would get his ass kicked for the middle portion of the match, and then he would "Eugene" up and finish things off with a "Stone Cold" Stunner. God, I wish they would just let him regain his dignity and be "Mr. Wrestling' Nick Dinsmore again so he would actually work in the ring. At least give him an actual finisher and not just a borrowed one from a better superstar.

Winner: Eugene

Match 4: Carlito vs. Lance Cade

Why Carlito is stuck on Heat for two weeks straight is beyond me. The guy can work in the ring and cut a mean promo, and yet he has had nothing interesting to do since Wrestlemania.

Lance Cade is another guy who looked to have a very promising career a while back and got stuck with a lame version of the Double J gimmick and has now be stuck on Heat for god knows how long. The funny thing is that they keep doing the same thing to him over and over. He originally was in a tag team with Mark Jindrak and they were starting to become a solid unit but then the WWE split them up for no reason and sent Jindrak to SD where he did nothing and was eventually released. Cade then sided with The Coach for a small singles run but that never panned out. Then Cade came back with Murdoch and they were starting to come along, though I thought they won the tag titles a bit too early, but then they lost them to Kane & Big Show and management decided to split them up for no good reason again! Now Lance is stuck in a dead-end Heat life where it's doubtful that he will ever emerge.

This was actually a short match, especially considering how long the other ones went on. Not much happened, though Carlito had a nice springboard back elbow when he started to rally back against Cade's offense. The end came when Carlito managed to bite his apple while the ref wasn't looking and spit it into Lance's face. With Cade temporarily blinded, Carlito nailed his double-knee backbreaker finisher and picked up the win.

Winner: Carlito

Match of the Show: Haas vs. Conway

Overall: A slow going for Heat this week. Haas/Conway was the best just because it was longer and had a little more time to develop. Cade/Carlito wasn't bad for the time it was given, but Carlito shouldn't be slumming it on the WWE's webcast shows for two weeks straight. That's just dumb planning on management's part. Victoria looked pretty solid in her squash match, and the only one I couldn't care less about was the Eugene match, since they're all the same and the character is getting stale quickly.









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