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Submitted by Wevv Mang on Sunday, May 14, 2006 at 7:54 PM EST
Ridin’ With The Bossman – Judgment Day and The WWE In Phoenix Greetings! Welcome to another edition of Ridin’ With The Bossman. The column that keeps Mark Henry on your TV. We love you Mark! Ten years, buddy, ten freakin’ years! And apparently, word is that he restructured his contract. Knowing Mark’s agent like I think I do, Mark got the better end of the deal. Seriously WWE hopefuls, talk to Mark, find out who his agent is, and sign with that guy. Ten years. Paid. Well, I have a confession to make. I haven't watched Smackdown. The show was pre-empted by the Phoenix Suns game, and the Suns beat the Clippers to go up one in the series. Man, Phoenix and LA have a great rivalry. First the Lakers, and a miraculous come back from two games down to win three straight, and advance to the second round. And a great photo of Kobe just getting wailed on by Rajah Bell. Then first game of the second round, the Suns just wailed on the Clippers, only to have the Clippers come back and wail on the Suns. Now, it’s eased up, and gotten more level. But the Suns are still one game ahead. Sorry, it’s all I hear about at work. And I’m not a big basketball fan, but I’ve been sucked in. Yeah, anyhoo, Smackdown await on tape, but like I said, I haven't watched it. After reading recaps, I’m not sure I want to. So, a word of warning. This column could be light on wrestling reviews. But, in other news, namely, movie news, there’s an article I read on a movie website that talks about the Rock and Spyhunter. The link can be found here: Zap2it article on the Rock It appears that the Rock was busy doing voice work and motion capture scenes for the video game. In other words, the character in the upcoming game is the Rock. That’s a smart move for Rock. It means that even if the movie doesn't do well, he’ll be getting a piece of the video game sales. Look out Hogan. Rock is overtaking you as the Smartest Man In Wrestling. One other tidbit from the article is that the Rock’s next movie, Southland Tales in a musical. A futuristic musical. Fuck. Not a big fan of musicals. Now, there are some good ones, ones, but man, they can also suck. Hard. And now, before we got to the skimpy reviews, some reader mail, from long time reader, and mad genius, Dan. Heya Wevv, As always, best column in all of columndom. I just had a couple of thoughts to add to your enchanting thesis regarding the burgeoning insanity of the coming summer wrestling season, primarily embracing the probable return of that legendary rebel faction, Degeneration X. "Coincidental timing?" you ask with no small amount of skepticism. "No indeed", I reply,” them boys at Titan Towers ain't entirely stoopid," Following on the heels of your recent column, I think the reformation of DX (good gravy, if they call it Degeneration Next I will fly to Stamford, storm Titan Towers, find whoever is responsible, and beat them to death with Koko B. Ware) could well be a masterstroke of summer ratings genius. The only mistake I think they could really, REALLY destroy this with is to bring back Road Dogg, Mr. Ass, and X-Pac. And Torrie (original recipe, not extra tender crispy). The gimmick goes from stale to moldy to rotten in a quick hurry with those components. Leave HHH and HBK on their own with this and it could be a huge attention-getting ratings grabber. My vote is to shed HHH of his "best-in-the-business-hard-ass-intense-tough-guy" persona (overdone, stereotypical, and boooooring) and let him either be the Cocky Taunter we know and love from the D-X of old (and saw bits of in his guest-referee spot on Raw a couple of weeks ago) or the Sick MoFo who, while leading Evolution, teased a beatdown of a retard on the Highlight Reel by getting Eugene to say that his favorite move was the Pedigree… and then left us hanging without the anticipated beating. The man does have his moments. Overcoming Michael's religious ethics isn't necessarily a problem, though it depends a lot on HHH being a team player. Play these guys for laughs more than for shock, and you're good. Of course, Vince is in charge, so that may not go so well. As you pointed out, pairing these guys up against Cena could be huge, provided they take the muzzle off of Cena's raps. Hearken back with me now to the "Hogan Interview" that HBK so brilliantly performed a while ago and imagine Cena rapping in the ring against D- X at the top of the show versus HBK and HHH pre-recorded mockery- fests later on (or interrupting). The back-and-forth with that could go months. Cena could get his heat back in a week. Another name that could be made in all of this is that of my personal hero, Carlito. A couple of Carlito's Cabana interview spots with DX and a bushel of apples could put this guy over the moon. With that haircut he deserves a push. Carlito and Cena vs New DX? That could be golden. All of a sudden I want to hear both factions going off on Jerry Lawler. Who I hate. And on Edge/Lita. Who I love. If they insist on reforming a subordinate group I can only think of three people who fit the mold of cocky, credible, and popular. Melina, Nitro, and Mercury. These guys can go in the ring with the best tag teams in the WWE (not exactly a tall order), have the look and persona to fit, and come with a huge set of shiny tits (complete with actual breathing head attachment). What more could the New D-X need? With a Draft-Lottery in the not-too-distant future, such a shift is possible, if a little hard to believe (that all three would randomly get sent over to RAW). Also, this would put MNM over the moon, which, for a team as good as I think they are, is a well-deserved thing. Another similarly built duo that would fit the bill are the aforementioned Edge and Lita, now that I think about it. Looks like they'll be locked into an anti-ECW thing with Foley for a while, though. Anyhoo, that's my two cents. I'll expect a receipt. -Dan Consider it paid my man. Excellent points. And I had totally forgotten about the Lotteraft. Hm. There’s a topic for next week. How will the reformation of ECW effect things? Could Paul Heyman be a third GM making picks? That would sure spice things up. Well, are you ready for some wrestling? WWE TV – The Series Raw Recap Info provided by Carl Walsh Triple H Opens The Show Yep, H came out to his old music and old entrance video. No floating skull? Not this week. He said the usual stuff, “I’ve beaten everybody, I’m married to Steph, yadda yadda yadda”. He challenged Cena, and Cena came out. Cena said he was going to explain it, and then did nothing of the sort. I don't know what he was talking about. A bunch of ass kissing was involved though. Of H that is. End result, we get the old “You want a match! You got a match! Now, where’s the run in?”. And that brought out Vince. Vince, Cena, and H Vince talks and there’s plenty of material to read between the line. Oh, I doubt it was shooting, more than likely unintentional, but still, a proverbial gold mine. Bottom line: H has the night off (main event run in signal) and Cena will face the Spirit Squad with HBK! Intercontinental Four Way RVD vs Masters vs Shelton Benjamin vs Charlie Haas Sloppy match, but still, a fast paced match. Interesting note, RVD followed right on the heel of the Opening snoozefest, and tried to get an ECW chant. He failed. It just goes to show that when WWE pushes for something to be chanted, it means death. For the chant, not the angle. I hope. Anyhoo, RVD retains. LUKE PERRY! Wow, that was a shocker. I mean that. I haven't heard the name Luke Perry in a long time. And because I know you’re dying t know, Luke Perry does have a new movie coming out. Later this year. Hey, if Steven Segal can make a living doing USA movies, why not Luke Perry? Don't answer that. See No Evil Stuff I do plan to see this movie. And I’ll be very interested to read the reviews. I’ll just say this. Critics panned Scary Movie 4. Scary Movie 4 has made over $83 million. It’s the fourth highest grossing movie so far this year. It’s only been out 4 weeks. Carlito vs Matt Striker Eugene ran in and attacked Matt Striker, getting a DQ victory for Striker. Yay. Edge vs Mick Foley Mick brings out Tommy Dreamer, and then turns on him, and leaves with Edge and Lita. Oh-Kay… Maria vs Mickie James Mickie wins. Trish does a run-in and gets beaten up. Man, a dislocated shoulder is a serious injury. And there’s Trish getting beaten down. Girl has got guts. Umaga vs Jobbers Umaga wins. He crushes two guys. Still don't care. DO care that Samoa Joe avoided this death sentence. Big Show vs Kane A mat based, technical bout. Interesting. A very slow match, but it was a test to see if it could be done. Now that it has been, it can be worked on. I mean really, it’s not a style Show has worked before. Or, at least, not for a while. Still, it was a dud. On the screen, the May 19th stuff happened. Interesting. It was Kane’s mask. HA! They re-did H’s video and used a graphic of Kane’s mask. In the ring, Kane goes nuts, grabs a chair and just beats the hell out of Show. I’ll just say this. There’s still promise to this feud. Spirit Squad vs Cena and HBK A solid main event. Spirit Squad has come a long way. Those guys have found their niche and are really clicking. Decent match, with plenty of actions since there were seven people involved at some level. Cena and HBK lost after shenanigans. H then came out for the post match beat down save, and gave some crotch chops. Raw seemed to be missing a step. A lackluster show, that didn't really do anything. It seems like after the opening segment tanked, WWE went to plan B, which wasn’t a good plan. It might be the ECW PPV that is throwing things off, but that’s about a month away, and Vengeance is even further. What they do have, is a Smackdown PPV, coming up next week. So, what was Smackdown up to? Still watched only the first half hour of the tape, so, let’s read some recaps. Smackdown Recap courtesy of Chad Matthews JBL Speaks You know what I find funny? JBL is calling Mysterio a coward, but Rey is the one wrestling. JBL won that belt a month ago, and I don't think he’s defended it once. And it’s just sad how this whole thing is going. Mysterio has been buried as a champion. Buried and pissed on. For all the talk of Mark Henry sucking, At least he was a credible threat. Khali? Not even close. And the only reason I can think of for a match with Khali is so that the announcers can say that Khali beat the Champion before Undertaker beats the crap out of him at Judgment Day. More than likely in record time. And then Mark Henry will run in and Undertaker will get to bet two big guys. You know what I find sad? That they’ve just about killed a strong market in the Southwest. But I’ll talk about that in OAW. Kid Kash vs Nunzio vs Super Crazy Crazy wins and is now #1 Contender to the Cruiserweight Title I got up to this point on the tape. Here’s what I missed. Gymini beat up some jobbers. MNM talked. Jillian apparently is going to be teamed with London and Kendrick. Mark Henry beat Paul Burchill Rey jobbed to the Khali So, yeah, not missing much. Smackdown, what happened? You had a spark, and now it's gone, and it seems like all the creativity has been drained. Maybe I missed something. Maybe there was a great skit. Maybe Booker T saved what looks like a lame show. Maybe Lashley and Finlay was the stuff of legends. I didn't see it, so I don't know. But when I hear phrases like Mysterio is the worst booked champion, passing even Jericho, I know that can't be good. When I read people saying they miss Boogeyman, I know that can't be good. What I do know is, I have tickets to the PPV, and there’s not one announced match that has me feeling like I’ve spent my money well. And no, even though Undertaker vs Khali has not been announced and is only rumored, that does not make me feel better. So, let’s take a special look back at the history or wrestling in one town. My town. Phoenix. Over-Analyzing Wrestling Today’s Topic: Phoenix and The WWE Judgment Day is right around the corner. One last week of hype, for a PPV that has been overshadowed by Raw. Vengeance is getting more plugs than Judgment Day it seems like. Poor Phoenix, you just can't seem to catch a break. Have you heard the magic words “Sold Out”? No, you haven’t. Tickets are still on sale. For really good seats. I took a quick look through Ticketmaster, and you can get 4 seats in section 115. I think that’s on camera too. Live events are always better than TV. Or are they? They certainly add a different feel to the show, as you don't get to hear the announcers. It’s been almost a year since a TV taping or PPV has come to town. In the nearly four years I have lived here, I’ve been to six WWE events. 1 Smackdown house show, 1 PPV (SummerSlam), 1 Smackdown taping, and 3 Raws. I think they’ve done a house or two that I missed. One I know didn't do well at all. I think it was the second house show they did at the Glendale Arena. There have been some good times, and many bad. Let’s take a look shall we? Raw – January 6th, 2003 My first time attending a show in Phoenix. I didn't know what to expect. I was really happen with the layout for the arena. A lot like the Rosemont Horizon. Hard to get a bad seat if you stay below 200. And our seats were good. Fresh off the Christmas break, we got Bischoff and Chief Morley taking care of business. First order of business was to avenge a wrong that happened after making the announcers wrestle. No, not punishing creative, but the Dudley boys for helping JR and King beat Morley and Lance Storm. The infamous Scott Steiner – Triple H feud was in full swing. We got a pose down challenge. Yes, a pose down. Lucky us. And boy, were the people thrilled. That is where I heard one of my favorite phrases, and a legend was born in my mind. ”Jesus this sucks. Have you seen the Nacho guy? Fuck it, I’m going to the concession stand. You want some?””Nah, I’ll come with you. What a bunch of fags!”. Bless you guys sitting three rows behind me. This was the night that HBK announced he would be entering the Royal Rumble, and he did it on the Highlight Reel. We got one of the stupidest feuds. “I want to be #1 in the Rumble!””No! I want to be #1 In the Rumble!”. It was death. And I still remember people trying to make it into a good thing. If I recall correctly, neither one made it close to the finish, making the feud moot. In the dead silence this banter caused, if you listen carefully, you can hear me and my buddy booing. And telling HBK to give Jericho the mic. On this show, Randy Orton also showed up for the first time since doing those RKO reports. He interfered in the main event. HBK was also in the main event of RVD and Kane vs Jericho and Christian. Great matches? Have no idea. Faded away. Great angles? Nope, but I do remember the horrible Jericho and HBK argument. Phoenix Effect: Posedown. SummerSlam – August 24th, 2003 Man, it was hot that day. About 110. And the arena was under construction, so the side entrances were blocked off and you could only go in the front side. Right past Al and Coach doing a live Heat. People loved Coach, and I heard more than one person hoping he would go heel. And you know what? He did. I only remember the debut of the Elimination Chamber. It was cool walking to our seats and seeing it hanging over the ring. Many a time I wondered what would happen if it came down. Ten tons of steel, 100 miles of chain, and the rest. But recaps fill in the blanks. Sable hits on Undertaker, as she was apparently working with Albert. Bischoff took on Shane McMahon and that’s when Coach turned, whacking Shane with a chair. Eddie was over huge. And he won a four-way battle over Benoit, Rhyno and Tajiri Brock Lesnar took on Kurt Angle in a great match, with crappy Sports Entertainment. Vince McMahon style. But the Elimination Chamber was the star of the show. And it was incredible. Except for the end. When Ric was cheating his nuts off, and it was advertised that no one could get in, except Ric could slide the sledgehammer in no problem and Goldberg, who had huge momentum behind him, was beaten. That ending just sucked. I’m still baffled at the thinking behind that move. Phoenix Effect: Elimination Chamber Smackdown House Show – Jan 3rd, 2004 Road To Wrestlemania Yes, the Road to Wrestlemania started in January. Before the Royal Rumble. Al I remember from this show was how different the set up was from the TV shows. Giant light towers on the corners. That shook as people ran across the mat. And the lady next to me, telling me how she hated John Cena. Yep, this was one of the first show in the brand new Glendale Arena, the would be home to the Phoenix Coyotes, if there hadn't been a strike. Nothing else had been built up around it, and there was no sign of the Glendale Stadium. Just a lot of open land. And great parking. Free parking at that. Phoenix Effect: Glendale needed something without Hockey and they called on WWE. A good sized crowd. But folks got a taste of the drive out to Glendale. Not good, as the next house show tanked hard. If I remember correctly. I don't remember when it was. Raw – May 3rd, 2004 Hey Steve. Thanks man. A really good show. We had Evolution take on Tajiri, Edge, and Shelton in the opener. And Evolution lost! We did have some crazy hijinks with Matt Hardy and Kane and Lita. Lita was still a prisoner during this time. We also got the infamous video clip of regal teaching Eugene how to wrestle. And it was solid. Eugene showed he could actually wrestle. Something they completely forgot about after airing, but I still remember it. And there was one of the coolest experiences I’ve ever had at a wrestling show. The main event was Benoit vs HBK. And the crowd was hot. And split right down the middle. We had dueling Benoit and HBK chants. And it wasn’t angry, though the guys who were in front of me were getting upset. But these are the same guys who kept saying HBK was gay. But they sang along to his entrance music. I swear, they knew every word. But it was a great match. Just awesome. Then H ruined it. He ran in and Pedigreed HBK, and Benoit got the win. Best show in Phoenix I’ve been to. Smackdown – Sept 21st, 2004 Raw was great, and this Smackdown wasn’t. This was a filler show. A lot of big things happened the week before. Like Spike turning heel. Billy Kidman turning into a quitter. Heidenreich raping Michael Cole. That kind of stuff. This show had: Kidman leaving the ring after the bell sounds. No match. Undertaker squashing the Ministry (Gangrel and Viscera) And the abomination of a match in: Torrie Wilson vs Dawn Maria in a schoolgirls match that was changed to Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie vs Moolah and Mae Young in a schoolgirls match. Bless their hearts; the Phoenix fans booed the crap out of this. And this show had a capper. The Raping Of Big Show’s Dignity Yes, this was the show where in a match that was supposed to be Kurt Angle getting revenge on Big Show for throwing him off a balcony. Kurt Angle gets a tranquilizer gun and shoots Big Show and then shaves his head. THAT was our main event. Phoenix Effect: Old broads, Tranquilizer Gun, hardly any wrestling Raw – June 20th, 2005 The start of the Jericho and Christian feud with Cena. Cena is the champion. We also have the draft lottery going on. So, a show with a lot of expectations. And one huge dreadful piece of sports entertainment, that even standing outside waiting to get in, people were hoping was over quick. Carlito was the pick and in his first match, ended Shelton’s months long title Intercontinental Title reign. Jericho was finally given a world title shot. Or should I say, the promise of a shot. Still it was exciting. And then there was the bit that killed the whole show. Lita and Edge’s Wedding Seriously, this killed the show. See, it went on for over half an hour. There was the set up, the take down, and all that jazz. The actual bit itself dragged on forever. And the crowd never recovered. We did get Kurt Angle and Triple H vs Batista and HBK They did get the crowd back, but by then, it was over. The show that is. Phoenix Effect: Wedding. So, now, we have Judgment Day. A PPV in Phoenix. Looking over the shows, you can see that Phoenix has gotten: A raping of dignity, a wedding, an Elimination Chamber, and a posedown. Out of the shows, I’d say three were decent, one good, and 2 horrible. In all, five out of six left me with something to be disappointed about. Now, we have Rey Mysterio, Pathetic Champion, facing off against Guy Who Doesn't Wrestle But Is Getting The H Push. We have Undertaker vs Big Goof. We have two matches that I’m hoping will be good. The Tag Match, and the King Of The Ring finals. All in all, I’m just hoping for something good. That’s it. And my hopes aren't high. Still, there’s one more week to go. And I got a mini vacation. So, things can change. And with that, it’s time to call it a wrap. Quit Plugs and I’m out of here. Literally. QUICK PLUGS! LOP Forums! LOP Columns Forum The PWA, best E-Fed on the net, period. DVD Fanatic, the Ultimate DVD Resource Feeling Creative? Check out The Project. Oh, yes, I almost forgot. What does one of the new Diva Signees look like? Here Ya Go! A picture of Barbie Blank.  Until next Time, Thanks For Readin' and Thanks For Ridin' Wevv Mang mrwevv@mac.com *NEW GALLERY* Amazing UP CLOSE Kelly Kelly Tease Photos! MUST SEE!
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