Take up thy wrestling boots and walk #130 - Managers, changing opinions, 3 yrs.
Submitted by Pt2 on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 at 12:44 AM EST





Welcome once again to the column that’s a man, such a man, Take up thy wrestling boots and walk. I’m the columnist that’s a Real Man’s Man as opposed to a Pirate’s buxom wench, Pt2, back once again from my side of the Atlantic to talk about collecting Art Garfunkel B-Sides, and if there’s time, maybe a little professional wrestling as well.

I’ve been writing here at Lords of Pain for 3 years, today. One May 3rd 2003 I took my first tentative steps into the LOP columns forum, and after some 70 columns there, I’ve spent the last 2 years here on the main page. As you can imagine, in 130 columns in that time, I’ve written about pretty much every WWE issue that I have considered being worth writing a column about. I’ve written about the Cruiserweight and tag divisions. I’ve written about mid-card championships, and the lack of them, and the benefits of their reintroduction. I’ve written about managers and main eventers.

In fact, if it wasn’t for the nature of the business being the way it is, I probably would have run out of things to talk about a long time ago. Fortunately, the business is always changing, and guys like me (and those writers who’ve been around much longer than I have, like the DaveyBoy’s and the Tito’s of this world) always have something new to write about, even if it’s just a different spin on something we’ve already done – the business changes, and our opinions and thoughts have to change with it. Otherwise we stagnate, and probably get moved on as newer, fresher columnists come through.

I am certainly no different. My opinions often remain the same since I am as firmly entranced in the old school ethos of wrestling as I have ever been. But within those loose ideas and boundaries, the ideas that I have regarding the current product change, and evolve, in much the same way as the wrestling business has to.

I’ve always been pro-manager. Anyone who has read my column for a long time will know that I consider the lack of competent male managers in an era where virtually every wrestler in the company relies on scriptwriters is one of the most detrimental facets of the modern era of wrestling. While Daivari is a big plus for guys like Mark Henry and Dhalip Singh, what about the guys like Shelton Benjamin who can go in the ring, but on the microphone have about the same level of competence as Buff Bagwell as a UN peace envoy? Surely we solved the problem of great wrestlers with no verbal ability a long time ago?

What about guys like Edge, who can’t talk except reading from a script in a monotonous voice that convinces next to no one? Surely he could use a manager? Remember guys like Bret Hart, who couldn’t speak at all – Bret got put with a manager when he got to the WWF, and Jimmy Hart helped him along, and that extra time to develop turned Hart into a competent handler of the microphone – he was never the most charismatic of speakers, but one thing he did have was effective promos. He could get the microphone and even though he wasn’t a natural like Steve Austin or Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart had learned to say the right things to get the right reaction, and he did it every time he picked up the stick. Maybe a manager, that extra stage in his development, could have helped a guy like Edge to develop to that next level?

That hasn’t changed. That has been pretty much a constant belief of mine, since…. Well, since the likes of Cornette, Michael Hayes and Clarence Mason all made their exits from WWE programming. Since then, we’ve had a pretty barren run for managers, with Daivari and Paul Heyman seemingly the high points. Now, the prospect is there for more.

Umaga (or Jamal if you prefer) has his new guy, Armando Alejandro Estrada, and he does seem to be a more palatable microphone alternative than the big crazy samoan. Daivari on the other roster is probably the brightest star on the WWE management scene since the long distant days of Paul Heyman managing Brock Lesnar and his subsequent management of Kurt Angle. Not that Kurt Angle needs a manager, but that’s besides the point.

The problem that automatically presents itself to me with these two, is that they are pretty isolated characters – especially this Estrada guy, it does seem at this early stage to reek of a manager that will have his one guy, and if anyone else does come into this grouping, they will also have to be a pretty extreme character to fit in with the strange Umaga/Estrada dynamic. What the WWE needs is more all purpose manager, one who their more central guys like Benjamin or the Bashams or Chris Masters can latch onto and ally themselves with believably and effectively.

In the past, the man I always talked up for the job was Jim Cornette. Man, I love Cornette. As a kid, I loved to hate him, and I think I probably still would were I to see him on TV today. He is probably second in my all time favourite managers list, behind only the amazing Bobby “the brain” Heenan, who I think may never be surpassed. Cornette could be just the kind of thing that a guy like Edge might need, since he’s got a proven track record of working with over main event heels, and guys like the British Bulldog and Yokozuna never had more success than when they were under the Jim Cornette banner.

But after years and years of Cornette not showing up on camera, and after his recent departure from OVW, I kind of gave up on the idea. Something told me that much like the wrestling business moves on, Jim Cornette had decided to move on as well, but in a different direction, and there was a good chance that I wouldn’t see Jim Cornette active in the WWE again. A bitter blow, but I accepted it.

The problem then, was that I haven’t given up my principals about managers. I do think that there are many, many people on the WWE roster that could benefit from a strong, competent manager figure, just as many wrestlers have benefit from the same thing in the past. The question now became, who?

In many cases, the best managers are ex-wrestlers. Cornette was an ex-wrestler. When he was injured, Mr. Perfect made a great manager/associate for Ric Flair. Mr. Fuji made a great heel manager. For me, the WWE doesn’t really have to look too far to find it’s manager figures since it has a wealth of experience and talent already currently employed by the company.

They could look to their road agents; OK, Dean Malenko is probably better off helping guys in their matches than on their microphone work, but I caught a rare sight of a man that works for the WWE a few weeks back, who would be PERFECT at the role – because he has done it for them very well before.

Ted DiBiase.

Here is the man that held the clusterfuck that was the Million Dollar Corperation together, and made it watchable. Remember the Undertaker vs. Undertaker feud? As bad as it was, can you imagine that WITHOUT Ted DiBiase?

Face it, the man can talk rings around virtually anyone of his generation, never mind the current crop of WWE wrestlers who would probably try to eat the microphone rather than speak into it. I’m still pretty convinced that Chuck Palumbo and Charlie Haas both think it is some sort of rare Samoan vegetable. Can you imagine the positive impact that a man with his verbal abilities could have on the career of a guy like Edge, who’s already semi popular? Imagine the heat that he could conjure as a heel, with his cockiness, his brash nature, his relationship with Lita, but with a competent speaker next to him so that he didn’t have to carry the load on the microphone.

Not only that, but Ted DiBiase can still rehash the Million Dollar Man Character. It doesn’t take that much, dress him up in some fine clothes and have him talk about how wealthy he is, and you instantly have the perfect reason for the young fan favourite that you want to turn heel to join him. You can also do the intrigue angles of him courting young wrestlers, trying to use his millions to lure them to the dark side….

DiBiase offered a lot in 1994-95, that’s why they kept him around. Now, since less people have the ability to speak well in the WWE, he can offer so much more, because as well as offering so many storyline opportunities, he could come onto WWE TV and throw some of the guys whose careers are floundering based on their suspect speaking skills a lifeline – after all, if guys like Rick Rude and Andre the Giant had Bobby Heenan by their side, I don’t think guys like Rob Conway or Chris Masters can complain too much.

If they brought him from behind the camera and put him in front of it in a more consistent basis, allowing him the freedom to give his promos the way he used to, and they used him in such a way that he could work with someone that could draw some money, I think even the most cynical and jaded of wrestling fans would be compelled to turn back to the WWE and would rejoice in the freshness and overall improvement that someone of his calibre could offer. We wouldn’t be able to resist.

After all, everybody’s got a price, for the Million Dollar Man.


Ok, that’ll do it for this one. We’ll be bringing you another YBTB title match next time, that should be up sometime soon.

Before that, I’d just like to say thank you to everyone that’s helped me in any way over the past three years, and everyone that’s read my work at any point. Thanks to the guys who’ve helped me get to this level, to the site that gives me the opportunity to share my thoughts with you all, and to everyone reading this who help make it seem worthwhile with your mails and opinions. Thank you.

Ok, I’ll stop the sentimental stuff now. If you’ve got feedback on this one, send it to takeupthywrestlingboots@gmail.com and I’ll answer you. If you’d like to apply for YBTB, contact J-Man at ybtbapplications@gmail.com, and if you don’t want to do either, thanks for reading, enjoy your week and I’ll see you next time.

Pt2









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