Take up thy wrestling boots and walk - YBTB XII: Do or Die
Submitted by Pt2 on Wednesday, April 12, 2006 at 11:57 AM EST
Welcome once again to the column that goes messing with a country boy, Take up thy wrestling boots and walk. I’m the columnist that is the leading expert on the intricacies of the Hog Pen Match, Pt2, back once again to bring you booking warfare on the hallowed fields of Lords of Pain.net.
I promised a few changes this time out…. And I’ve certainly delivered on that. The whole structure of how YBTB is managed has been altered, and hopefully, improved.
YBTB has always, so far, been about whether one person liked the scenario’s that were put in. Starting with our mysterious “Judge”, before moving onto me, there was only one man standing between the contestant and victory/defeat. As a result, often people would disagree with our conclusions. And often, when the strain of running the whole thing was on me…. I’d make mistakes. I did last time. You see, I awarded Rich Warner-Frost the championship when I penalised BC, completely missing the word “New” in BC’s scenario – which would, albeit badly, explain Ric Flair’s presence as GM well enough to avoid punishment. Without that mistake, BC would still be the YBTB champion.
So to cut down on mistakes, and make the whole thing a bit fairer, I thought – why not get the whole YBTB commission in on judging? So from now on, a contestant’s scenario will be judged by not one, but three officials, and all penalties will be decided on by a Head Referee, selected from those three officials.. Hopefully this way, we’ll get a broader view of a winner, and we’ll also get fewer mistakes. With that in mind, I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce you to the YBTB Commission…..
Xanman is a former YBTB Champion. He is the author of The Northern Star, The Compass Rose (www.theprojectlives.com) and the co-author of Excuse the Aggravation. He hails from Minnesota in the United States of America. He is also the man to defeat me in LOP’s first ever King of the Columnists tournament, semi final…. So if you ask me, he’s GOT to be good.
Boss Foxx was a judge for the YBTB Royal Rumble. He is also a moderator at Lords of Pain.Net, and the author of both The Boss Report and My House, My Rules, as well as a few more columns besides, I wouldn’t mind betting. He is also the driving force behind LOP’s “Fact or Fiction”. He hails from Nova Scotia, Canada.
And your third judge… is me. Pt2’s credentials extend as far as I invited the damn game and it goes out in my column. ‘nuff Said. Oh, I hail from England.
But we don’t do it alone. We don’t know which of the scenarios belong to whom, until after we are finished with them, and for that reason we couldn’t do it without our fourth official, J-Man, who is already becoming a big hitter in the columns forum. He is the first point of contact new YBTB applicants have with the game, and plays an integral role in running the contest. If one of the other judges should become unavailable for a scenario, J-Man will take his place. He hails from Swansea, South Wales, in the United Kingdom.
Well, this column is already 500 words long, and all I’ve done is talk about the judging – so if it’s ok with you, I’m just going to get on with it now.
As I was saying, BC was unfairly penalised in the last contest, and lost his championship. Since there is no right of appeal in YBTB, that would have been it, but for one thing.
Every Champion who wins their first title defence is entitled to a rematch. Tinaali was offered one, but turned it down. The same thing happened with Random Guy#5. Most people seem willing to pass the torch, and move away from the rigorous demands YBTB places on a champion.
However, BC decided that he hasn’t finished playing yet. He wanted his shot at RWF, and he invoked his automatic rematch clause. In this game, both of our contenders have something to play for – RWF plays to win his automatic rematch clause, and BC plays to try and regain what was his, without having to slip back into the ranks and work his way up again. You could say, that like Diesel vs. Undertaker at Wrestlemania XII, YBTB XII is a Do or Die match.
The Rules of YBTB are unchanged, with one exception: The winner of the scenario will be the winner of 2 judge’s decisions on the scorecards. The winner of the contest will be, as before, the winner of 2 scenario’s.
Introducing the challenger, he has a YBTB record of 2-1-0 with one unanimous victory. He hails from the Sunshine State of Florida and is the former YBTB Champion of the World, He is BC!
And his opponent, with the perfect booking record of 1-0-0, hails from Des Moines, Iowa. The Reigning, Defending, and undisputed YBTB Champion of the World, Rich Warner-Frost!
Your head referee for this contest will be: Xanman.
Scenario 1: TNA has stolen Edge. Everyone at TNA is ecstatic, and locker room morale at the WWE sinks, until Vince McMahon walks in and announces that he has acquired the services of Monty Brown. He turns to you, and issues you with the mandate to crush TNA using the debut of Monty Brown as a springboard. You may use any current WWE worker with the exception of Edge, and your idea must span over no more than three shows – if you can’t hook the audience by then, you never will.
RWF: May 5th Smackdown
Benoit is facing Finley for a Number 1 contender’s match for the US Title. As the match progresses, the Greek letter Alpha flashes on the Titantron slowly, then gets faster, and faster, almost casting a strobe light affect as Benoit applies the Crossface for the win. Just as the ref raises his arm the flashing stops, and a voice booms out that the Alpha Male is coming.
May 12th Smackdown
Benoit comes to the ring to take on JBL for the US Title. As the match gets going, the Alpha symbol begins to flash on the Titantron again. The two men battle in the ring back and forth with fast paced, strong maneuvers. Benoit counters the 3 Amigos from JBL and delivers them himself. Then, he climbs up the ropes, the Alpha stops. Benoit hits the headbutt and gets the pin. As he is celebrating with the title the lights cut out, and a lone spotlight shines up on a man standing on the fist. He is wearing black slacks, and a leopard print hooded sweatshirt covering his head. The man cuts a promo about life in the Serengeti and how just being a Crippler wouldn’t allow you to survive, that it’s kill or be killed. Talks about Smackdown missing the dominant wrestler, the force that is unstoppable, that he is there to fill it…to be the Alpha Male. There is a flash and then the lights come on and he’s gone.
May 19th Smackdown
Benoit comes out to defend his title versus Mark Henry. After the match, the lights cut again this time a lone spotlight shines on Benoit. A voice booms that Benoit’s lessons start to tonight, and at Judgment day he will be tested. At that a video starts to show, discussing how the Alpha animal is. How it stalks its prey and sneaks up on them, and just when it is in position it…at this moment the lights come up and Monty Brown is in the ring grabbing Benoit and whipping him to the ropes, bounces off the other side and delivers a devastating Pounce just as the video says it Pounces. After the pounce Brown doesn’t let up, continuing to hit devastating power move after another. Picking Benoit up and finally delivering an Alpha Bomb. With Benoit lying in the middle of the ring, Brown picks up the US Title belt, lays it across Benoit’s waist, grabs the mike and cuts a promo saying that Sunday that Benoit better be ready to step into the Serengeti. That there is more where this came from and when he’s done, it will no longer be the US Championship, but the Serengeti Title. He then ends the promo with a comment about feel the pounce.
BC: Show #1
Moments after WWE Women's Champion Mickie James squashes Candice, much to the crowd's delight... Lita appears on the ramp. She comments about Mickie's sexuality, stating she's into chicks because no man will have her. Mickie responds by saying she may be a psycho, but she's not a whore like Lita.
Lita challenges James to put her insanity to the test... in a ladder match!
The Women's Title is strung up and Lita and Mickie battle for the gold. As James seems poised to snatch it down... enter Monty Brown! Brown is immediately identified by name by the RAW announcers as a star from another unnamed organization. Monty pounces the ladder, sending James crashing to the arena floor. Lita climbs up to win. As the segment ends, Monty picks Mickie up and drives her through the announce table, much to the
commentators' disgust.
Show #2
The following week, the new champ and her new man enter the ring. Lita rips on Edge, saying she needed a real man to satisfy her needs and makes several "once you go black" references before passing the stick to Monty. Monty stays in "alpha male" character and calls WWE his new Serengeti. He says now that he's come to the big leagues, he's going to prove he's the alpha male.
He claims Lita has led a superstar to the WWE Title before and he trusts her to do it again as WWE's alpha female.
Brown's promo is interrupted by the newest swap of the ongoing draft
lottery... Matt Hardy. Hardy tells Brown that picking on women may fly "where he's from", but in WWE it takes more to make an impact. Hardy also has words for his ex, Lita. As Matt trashes her, Monty interrupts. He says that he was used to picking on girls after feuding with Matt's brother. Matt throws punches, but a low blow by Lita sets up the pounce. Monty tells the downed Hardy that next week, he'll pay for entering the Serengeti.
Show #3
The ref bumps early in Matt's match with Monty, making Lita's interference and assorted weaponry fair game. After a pounce, Monty props up a ladder and allows Lita to scale it, setting up a moonsault. Just then... Mickie limps out, wielding a steel chair. She cracks Lita with it, knocking her down from the ladder. After a shot to Lita's head, Monty grabs her and throws her out of the ring. Mickie recovers and grabs the Women's Title, then levels Monty
with it. With Brown down, Hardy climbs up the ladder and hits the swanton on Brown. Mickie hides the ladder as the ref comes to and counts three.
Brown and Lita head up the ramp, but stop when Mickie grabs the microphone.
She holds Lita's title up and challenges them to the first-ever "intergender TLC match" for it at the next RAW PPV. Brown and Lita refuse but realize it's the only way to retrieve Lita's stolen title, so the match is signed.
Xan: I like BC’s scenario quite a bit. It's nicely book-ended with the two ladder matches, and I think it sets up a good story. Out of all TNA's talent, I think Monty Brown and Abyss are the two that would fit best in the WWF, and I think you did a great job inserting Brown into the mix. At the same time you're doing this, the Women's Title continues to look strong and is given importance as the centrepiece of the angle. At this point, Matt Hardy is being flushed down the drain by the WWF, so that and his past with Lita make him a good guy to feed to Brown.
Benoit/Brown could conceivably be a great feud, so this isn't a bad choice as a way to debut the Alpha Male. I like the promos, the Alpha symbol, and pretty much everything that the Alpha Male is doing upon entering in RWF’s scenario.. It's all very interesting and suspenseful, and a great way to show his dominance, as he continually takes over the show in some manner. However, what I don't like is that just like Carlito did he is getting a title shot (and presumably the U.S. strap) upon his match debut on Smackdown. I hate when a guy gets a title shot without wrestling a match before that. It destroys the suspension of disbelief, as what about all the other challengers out there that have been working towards their shots? Good build-up, bad result.
BC did commit a penalty by not turning Mickie James, who is currently a heel, during his 500 words. If this were a male wrestler, it would probably cost him in the neighbourhood of 7 to 10 points, which still wouldn't be enough to turn the tide, but being this is occurring in the women's division where turns seemingly happen every other week and the division is so small heel/heel and face/face matches occur at a more rapid rate, I think a fair mark off here would be 3.
Scores at the end of the first scenario:
Xanman: RWF 68% BC 75%
Pt2: RWF 52% BC 68%
Boss Foxx: RWF 67% BC 77%
So the winner of the first scenario by unanimous decision is the challenger. Let’s move swiftly on to the second scenario.
Scenario 2: After years of service, Dean Malenko is leaving the wrestling world – however, before he goes, he wants one last run in the middle of the card. In 4 shows, reintroduce Dean Malenko and make him a force for the US title or the Cruiserweight title. NOTICE: If you choose the Cruiserweight championship, you must also book to strengthen the division – Malenko will appear in the middle of the card, not on Velocity, and if Cruisers are in no better condition in your scenario’s than they are currently, you will lose marks at a rate of knots.
RWF May 26th Smackdown
TRL discusses the injury to Helms and that he is stripping the title. Starting tonight, an 8 man tournament begins. The bracket shows with two open spots and it starts now.
Match 1 Kendrick defeats Super Crazy when Kendrick kicks out of the trifecta and hits Sliced Bread for the win.
Match 2 saw Kid Kash defeat London with the Dead Level.
Match 3 Nunzio is waiting for his opponent when out comes Dean Malenko. They fight back and forth, Malenko showing little rust, countering moves and flashes of offense. Lots of chain wrestling, ending with Nunzio going for a drop kick, which Malenko counters to the Cloverleaf for the win.
Match 4 Funaki comes to the ring, and then Mysterio comes down starting the match quickly. Match is one-sided with Mysterio winning with the 619.
June 2nd
Malenko talks about the tournament and why he is in it. How cruiserweights are disrespected and he wants to prove what they can do. He also mentions he doesn’t have long left in the business and wants to make a lasting impression. Mysterio interrupts and says that he agrees that everyone has forgotten about cruiserweights and thinks that a title match between him and Malenko would show everyone what skill they really have.
Match 5 Malenko vs. Kendrick. Kendrick uses speed to stay ahead of the slower Malenko. Manlenko lives up to his name, man of a thousand holds, by mixing offense moves and counters. Kendrick ducks and Malenko stops short hits the double underhook powerbomb for the win.
Match 6 Mysterio and Kash starts slow, feeling each other out. As the match progresses they get more intense. Helms heads to ring side and just as Mysterio goes for 619, Helms grabs a chair and hits both men causing a no decision as Smackdown ends.
June 9th
Helms bad mouths the tournament saying without him involved the title is worthless and as of Sunday he’s cleared to compete. Paul Heyman interrupts smiling and talking about Helms screwing his guys, so it’s time to take the next step. At Another One Night Stand, Helms vs. Kash vs. Mysterio vs. Malenko in an elimination match for the Cruiserweight title. Heyman finishes the announcement as Malenko attacks Helms, locking in the cloverleaf. Heyman says its time to go to the extreme as the show ends.
AONS
Kash, Malenko, Mysterio start the match by all ganging up on Helms, hitting their signature moves. The four men pair off, Malenko and Cash, Helms and Mysterio. As the match continues Kash goes for the Dead Level but Malenko counters into a small package for the elimination. Helms hits Malenko with a chair and turns his attention to Mysterio. Mysterio goes for the West Coast Pop, but Helms turns it into a powerbomb for the elimination. Malenko climbs back into the ring and Helms attempts a shining wizard which Malenko immediately counters with the cloverleaf, Helms taps and Malenko is crowned champ.
BC: Show #1
Randy Orton approaches Booker T and Sharmell before his match with U.S. Champion Chris Benoit. He says Theodore Long will give him a title shot if he wins the non-title match, then reminds Booker that Booker owes him a favor.
Orton defeats Benoit to become #1 contender after Booker interferes. Together, Booker and Orton attack Benoit... until Dean Malenko rushes his long-time friend's aid. Booker and Orton challenge them to a tag match next week, eager to further wear Benoit down.
Show #2
Long opens the show, making the tag match two-out-of-three falls in honour of Malenko's famous ECW match with Eddy Guerrero. Clips are shown throughout the show to hype it. Backstage, Malenko tells Benoit he doesn't want to wrestle, but will one last time to honor Eddy.
Fall One goes to the heels after Booker drops an axe kick on Benoit. Benoit lays motionless after the blow and is carted out, fearing another neck injury. After a commercial, the match resumes with Malenko going it alone. He wins Fall Two after countering an Orton dropkick into the Texas Cloverleaf.
Booker and Orton double-team Malenko throughout Fall Three. Orton RKOs
Malenko when suddenly... Benoit returns to the ring. He lights the heels up with chops and sends them running, winning Fall Three by count-out.
Show #3
Booker demands Long's attention and shows him the footage of him pinning Benoit. He says it makes him equally deserving of a title shot as Orton. Long agrees, but watches more of the tape and sees Orton tapping to Malenko. Long says Malenko's victory over the #1 contender makes him deserving as well. Long decides he'll make Orton and Benoit's match a four-way if both Booker AND Malenko agree to join in.
Backstage, Orton tells Booker he has a plan to get Malenko to agree. Elsewhere, Malenko approaches Benoit and tells him he doesn't want to wrestle and won't accept the challenge. Benoit respects his friend's decision, but points out last week proved Malenko could still go.
Later, Orton tells Malenko NOT to accept the challenge, trying to screw Booker over. Orton also says he submitted only because there was another fall left. Malenko tells Orton not to worry and he's leaving WWE, never to return. Orton decides since it's his final chance to "say goodbye", he'll kill another legend and RKOs Malenko backstage!
Show #4
Malenko returns and accepts Long's proposal, eager to get at Orton one last time. B
Benoit, Orton, Booker and Malenko have a four-way elimination for the belt. Booker is first out after the CrossFace. Orton RKOs Benoit... but Malenko catches his legs and locks in the Cloverleaf. Orton refuses to tap... but Benoit locks on the CrossFace and the double-submission forces him out. Benoit and Malenko wrestle a brilliant match until finally Benoit puts Dean away with a diving headbutt. Benoit raises his friend's hand and allows him to hold the title up high one final time before his career comes to a well-deserved end.
Pt2: BC Picks the US title, so average booking will suffice. Here, I think it’s reasonable enough; I’d give it around a 73%. RWF’s idea really picks up in the last couple of shows, and I like the tournament idea – but he’s picked the Cruiserweight title, and the challenge says you have to improve the division. I’m not sure he does that. I feel reasonably good about giving another 73% in this one and calling the scenario a draw.
Scores after the Second Scenario
Pt2: RWF 73% BC 73% (Tied)
Xanman: RWF 63% BC 45%
Boss Foxx: RWF 75% BC 70%
The winner of the second scenario, by split decision, is Rich Warner-Frost.
Let us move onto the deciding fall.
Scenario 3 HHH wins the championship in May 2006, and in his first defence of the title re-injures his quad. You must transfer the title to the RAW wrestler of your choice quickly, without losing the titles credibility, and book a feud with another RAW wrestler to save the brand.
BC
WEEK-1: Vince McMahon announces Triple H was attacked backstage and injured, forcing him to vacate the title. McMahon also says hours earlier, Ric Flair gave notice he intended to cash in Money In The Bank on RAW. McMahon says an investigation is ongoing into Flair's involvement. McMahon orders the last two champions, John Cena and Edge, into a match to determine the new champ.
Flair is interviewed by WWE personnel in which many of his past deeds are brought up. Flair admits to being the dirtiest player in the game, but denies involvement in HHH's attack. They're unconvinced and police take Flair downtown for questioning. Later, Cena pins Edge to regain the strap.
WEEK-2: Cena's promo is interrupted by Flair who proclaims his innocence. Flair offers proof... in the form of HHH! Flair wheels HHH out and HHH says that it was Cena who attacked him! Cena confesses and turns heel, telling fans it doesn't matter what they think because he's the chanp again. Flair says not for long and announces he'll cash in MITB at Bad Blood.
McMahon confronts Cena, upset he took out HHH. Cena says McMahon may not understand it, but just because he acts and dresses like he does doesn't mean he isn't "corporate". He offers Puff Daddy as an example. He claims to follow the new archetype for the rich and street-credible. McMahon admits he may have been wrong about Cena. Cena callously says Flair will probably die soon and would make a poor challenger.
WEEK-3: Vince enters to a rap remix of "No Chance In Hell", wearing new "Mac-A-Wear" threads and an obnoxious amount of bling. He says he's no longer "Mr. McMahon" but "Mc-Diddy". He puts over Cena's ruthless aggression and books Flair in a match against all five Spirit Squad members. Backstage, Shawn Michaels watches on and says McMahon has lost it.
Flair uses low-blows and eye-gouges to keep the quintet at bay, but is outnumbered. SS continue attacking after they win until HBK makes the save. Cena runs-in and attacks Flair as SS beat Michaels down. After an F-U, Vince comes out and says F-U now means "fire you" and fires Flair.
WEEK-4: McMahon announces a fifteen-man rumble to crown a new #1 contender in light of Flair's firing. He forces HBK into the #1 spot and allows Cena to enter at #2, giving him a chance for the PPV off if he wins. The fifteenth entrant is the entire Spirit Squad who cut the field to them, Cena and HBK. Facing a six-on-one assault, HBK is eliminated and SS jump out, giving Cena the win.
Just then... Flair's music hits! Flair comes out and says his MITB contract is iron-clad and fired or not, he gets one opportunity at the gold. He says despite Cena's comments he is far from dead and at Bad Blood he'll become a 17-time champion. He does so after HBK runs-in, superkicks Cena, then gives him a DX crotch chop and salutes HHH, seated ringside.
RWF: 5/29 Raw
McMahon shows clips from two week’s ago title rematch between HHH/Cena showing HHH re-injuring his quad and being out indefinitely. Tonight a 10 man battle royal, but unlike Smackdown, when two men remain the champion will be the first to score a pinfall or submission. Participants: Cena, RVD, Show, Kane, Benjamin, Carlito, Masters, Edge, Flair, and HBK. Final four are Flair, Show, RVD, and Masters. Masters eliminates Show, who lands funny and lies at ringside. Flair rushes Masters, but gets tossed over, landing on Show but never touches the floor as the ref can see. Flair starts to get into the ring as Masters is whipped into the ropes, Flair pulls the top rope, causing Masters to flip out of the ring and touch the floor. Flair climbs back in and beats RVD with the Figure Four to win his 17th championship as Raw ends.
6/5 Raw
Masters comes out saying he was screwed. Flair was eliminated and shows proof. Another angle airs, Flair standing on Show before pulling the ropes. Flair comes out and says that is the whole picture. Masters gets irate and challenges Flair to a match next week.
6/12 Raw
Masters starts impressively, using strength to throw Flair around the ring. Flair mounts a comeback after a thumb to the eye, and starts chopping Masters. Flair climbs the ropes, but Masters catches him for a powerslam. Masters works on the back and shoulders, and goes for the Masterlock, but Flair reverses into a schoolboy, grabs the tights and the ropes to win. After the match, Masters snaps and applies the Masterlock, refusing to release as Flair passes out.
6/19 Raw
Flair comes to ring, arm in a sling. Discusses the attack after the match, and that he’s awoken the Nature Boy, the Dirtiest Player in the Game. Flair comments that he’s forgotten more about wrestling then Masters knows. Says that at Vengeance, Masters gets another shot in a submission match; Figure four versus the Masterlock. Ends with to be the man/beat the man line and WOO.
6/25 Vengeance
Before the match, Masters cuts a promo about the Masterlock being unbreakable. Tonight it will make him the youngest champion. Match starts, Flair tries to protect his injured shoulder which Masters continue to work on and tries to apply the Masterlock early, but Flair gets to the rope. Masters jumps to the outside pulling Flair’s arm over the top rope. Masters starts to pick Flair up but Flair does the crotch lock and drags Masters around the ring. Flair builds momentum with chops, and chop blocks. Smacks Masters’ knee on the ring side, and tries to on the ring post, but Masters pulls Flair into it. Flair struggles back into the ring right into the Masterlock. Flair slowly fades, and just as the ref lifts the hand for the third time, Flair lifts his leg and low blows Masters. Masters goes down; Flair applies the Figure Four and wins.
Boss Foxx: Flair as champion is interesting, but a blinged out Vince falls flat with me. In RWF’s, once again, Flair as champion is interesting and the battle royal is good. Masters as the first challenger though, is not.
Xanman: Unlike the first scenario, where Mickie appears to have turned face before it starts, I think it makes sense that Triple H is backing Flair here for two reasons. 1) He can't exact revenge on Cena himself right now and 2) If Flair wins the gold, the arrogance of his character means he would believe himself to have substantially easier pickings. I can actually find nothing wrong with this scenario, as I love the idea of Cena being a corporate gangsta, and I think a heel turn would be good for his character, as well as a refreshing change for the fans.
Pt2: Also, I don’t think there should be any penalty to naming Flair as money in the bank winner since the challenge was set before Wrestlemania, meaning that our challengers had no way of knowing.
Xanman: Agreed. How can we penalize one for not being psychic?
Scores after the final scenario:
Boss Foxx: RWF 65% BC 70%
Pt2: RWF 60% BC 80%
Xanman: RWF 95% BC 95% (Tied)
By split decision, the winner of the deciding scenario, is BC, and by the power granted him by the YBTB commission, head referee Xanman declares that by split decision, BC is the new YBTB champion of the world.
Thank you to both our contestants for playing, and to the other three members of the commission for their help in running the contest.
If you have feedback, you can send it to takeupthywrestlingboots@gmail., whether it's about the new contest, the format, or one of my other articles... whatever, I'll reply to you. If you’d like to apply for YBTB, you can contact J-Man at ybtbapplications@gmail.com.
If you’d like to read more from me (or Xanman, for that matter) on things that aren’t necessarily wrestling, visit www.theprojectlives.com and check out the great articles on offer there.
That’s enough for this one, I think it’s gone on long enough. Congratulations to BC, and I hope RWF will come back and have another go sometime.
Take Care
Pt2
*NEW GALLERY* The AMAZING New Karen Angle Tease Photos!
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