The Wrath of Tito - Lots of Wrestlemania hype, RAW thoughts, TNA stuff, and more
Submitted by Mr. Tito on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 at 8:17 PM EST
It's the Wrath, baby! No, we're not talking about former WWF wrestler, Adam Bomb and one half of the overrated tag team, Kronic, we're talking about the Wrath of Tito just a few days away from Wrestlemania! Time permitting, I hope to have a Wrestlemania predictions column up by Saturday night or Sunday morning. We'll see, as I'm very confident in my picks this year.
Saw RAW Monday... enjoyed the show. It was a nice Wrestlemania hype show as well as other goodies. Gotta say, the Spirit Squad are freakin' awesome. One of the better and original ideas that the WWE has come up with in a long time. In fact, this gimmick absolutely KILLS the Team Canada gimmick in NWA-TNA. I'm not saying that the wrestlers are better, for Team Canada in TNA has a few gems that can really wrestle, but the gimmick of the Spirit Squad is far greater. It's something called originality. Instead of asking yourself how many times the Team Canada gimmick has been done, you should ask yourself when HASN'T it been done? And boy are the Spirit Squad getting crazy heat. THIS is how you push the homophobe buttons of wrestling fans, NOT lame angles like Billy & Chuck or even Rico. Male cheerleaders have been laughed at from the test of time, even though they are way better athletes than all of us. The move where the Squad picks you up by each limb for the drop is tremendous and these guys have awesome multiple-team moves. Best stable gimmick in YEARS, folks, and they are only midcard guys.
What's great about the Squad is if one guy gets over as a face and wants to break off on his own, he just has to turn on his squad members. That will give him INSTANT cheers, because again, male cheerleaders are hated. When I saw these guys in Wheeling, WV for a RAW houseshow, they received tremendous heat and they weren't even known back then. In fact, they were only 2 members at the time! Now, they are five, and boy do they piss off fans. I'm starting to notice that the Squad's opponents seem to have a little kick in their step when facing the Squad as if it's their dream come true to attack a male cheerleader. It probably is! Great gimmick and I applaud the WWE writer who had to guts to present the idea with the fear of being laughed at. In fact, I applaud the McMahons for actually allowing the gimmick to happen. This gimmick will have longer staying power than a fatassed pimp, a mentally challenged wrestling mark, and a former porn star.
Now, onto Vince McMahon. The WWE seriously needs to scale back the McMahons as performers. Shane & Vince McMahon shouldn't even be in the same class as trained wrestlers. Shane is a normal looking guy (shades of Ray Ramano), while Vince dressed up for years as a toolshed wrestling announcer with zero wrestling ability present. What happens now? Shane can wrestle with anybody and Vince McMahon is just as strong as any wrestler. Granted, Shane can take bumps and he's got a lot of heart. But he shouldn't even last 1 minute with the likes of former World Champions such as Kane, Kurt Angle, and Shawn Michaels. Even Test should have no problems destroying Shane. With Vince McMahon, just because you look like a muscle head, it doesn't mean that it suddenly makes you an overpowering wrestler. John Cena should wipe the floor with Vince, even in a test of strength contest. Same with all of the wrestlers that Vince has fought, EVEN the likes of Hulk Hogan. While I'll never disagree with having the presence of the McMahons on WWE television (to a certain point), they should not diminish the product by being on the same level, if not higher, than trained wrestlers.
Speaking of McMahons, I felt Triple H's hype promo was utter bullcrap. He completely diminished John Cena by saying he's not a good wrestler in various ways, as he's hinted at before. Let the FANS decide that one, HHH. Trips is doing the same thing to Cena as he did to Booker T before Wrestlemania 19. "You're not good enough to win this title". Utterly ridiculous. While I will NOT disagree with the decision of giving HHH the belt on Sunday (to HHH's credit, he dropped the title for the last 2 Wrestlemanias), I completely disagree with the way he chews up and spits out wrestlers who are not to his personal liking. As a husband to a McMahon, HHH has a severe conflict of interest while being in the main event. While I'll give him ALL of the credit in the world for his work with Chris Benoit, I won't give him credit for trying to make his personal friends into stars (Orton and Batista, though it worked for Batista) AND for completely ruining Kane, Chris Jericho, Rob Van Dam, and Booker T after feuding with them. This is absolutely why HHH tends to hurt the WWE than help the WWE while on top. He's creating a situation where he's the ONLY star and the WWE must resort to giving him the title or pushing him as if he's "chasing the title" every single week. This conflict of interest is absolutely unfair to wrestling fans who want to see the likes of Kane, Chris Jericho, Booker T, Rob Van Dam, and now, quite possibly, John Cena get a chance to become the top guy of the company.
Now granted, several of those guys could do a little extra on their own to earn that spot. Kane can never stay healthy, and Rob Van Dam refuses to tweak his character, change up his wrestling ability a little bit, and get his head out of the clouds when the clock hits 4:20. However, Chris Jericho was red-hot for years and was quickly squashed like a bug when fighting HHH over Lucy the Dog and facing HHH at Wrestlemania 18, as HHH was clearly dogging it. Booker T was THE man in WCW. I've seen him wrestle absolute crap and he actually put on good matches with Scott Steiner, and Steiner was badly injured during his final WCW days. Booker T was a great wrestler coming into the WWE and was thrashed because of who he was, and I'm not talking about race. I'm talking about Booker T being a former WCW wrestler. I believe that John Cena still has some things to work on by himself (i.e., better wrestling ability), but he's very over with the kiddies and booking is actually going against him (lack of edgy rap rants).
If HHH is going to trash Cena like this, then it should be grounds for HHH putting Cena over huge at Wrestlemania. But I doubt it and Cena will be just another victim of HHH. Enjoy the midcard. I will have zero problems with HHH as champion at this point, but I'll have problems with yet another guy in HHH's way getting destroyed without ever looking good against the company's top heel. Aren't heels supposed to put over and make new talent? I thought that's what HHH's hero, Ric Flair, used to do? BUT WHATEVER. I'm not going to continue knocking HHH here because since 2004, I've had no severe problems with him outside of his pushing of his personal friend, Randy Orton, who is overrated and/or not ready to accept responsibility as a World Champion. I believe HHH has wrestled better and I really appreciate the respect he gave Chris Benoit in 2004. I honestly won't forget that, for Benoit deserved to be champion and won the belt in a very respectable fashion, thanks to HHH. From 2002 to 2003, HHH was total garbage and I get scared when I see glimpses of that with HHH facing John Cena this Sunday.
And I'll say it again: Triple H vs. John Cena MUST be a great match! In my opinion, they need to steal the show this Sunday or it will be a long summer for the RAW roster.
Ok, I don't feel like ranting about RAW too much further (though I'm not exactly reviewing a show here in technical terms)... I can't wait for Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus this Sunday... I figure Trish will go down and end her very lengthy title reign. This will allow Trish and Mickie to feud throughout the summer. DO NOT be surprised if Mickie injures Trish as an angle, only for Trish to feud with James a few months later while the Women's division might add a few more faces... I thought HHH vs. Shawn Michaels was their worst one since HBK came out of retirement. Very slow paced and unlike both wrestlers when working together. Good ladder segment between Ric Flair, Shelton Benjamin, and Rob Van Dam. While I absolutely wish the character who played Shelton's mom the best in health, I'm glad that the character is taking time off from television. They need to push Shelton as a very cocky heel who is completely confident in his own athletic ability... like Terrell Owens. Seriously, ESPN can't go a day without mentioning T.O. In fact, it's my theory that ESPN purposely baits the story just for something to cover and deliver huge ratings with. WWE should take a cue from ESPN. Terrell Owens = ratings, so pushing Shelton like him could equal ratings. Maybe call him "S.B."?
ANYWAY, this is something my readers absolutely love... it's time to list the Wrestlemania Card:
-Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle in a Pillow Fight
-Boogeyman vs. Sharmell Sullivan/Booker T
-Trish Stratus (c) vs. Mickie James for the Women's Title
-Big Show/Kane (c) vs. Carlito/Chris Masters for the RAW Tag Titles
-Chris Benoit (c) vs. John Bradshaw Layfield for the United States Title
-Mick Foley vs. Edge in a Hardcore Match
-Undertaker vs. Mark Henry in a Casket Match
-Money in the Bank ladder match (Rob Van Dam, Ric Flair, Shelton Benjamin, Fit Finley, Matt Hardy, and Lashley as participants)
-Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon in a "No Holds Barred" match
-Kurt Angle (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Randy Orton for the World Title
-John Cena (c) vs. Triple H for the WWE Title
Card courtesy of WWE.com. What, are you kiddies too lazy to get through the many ads and shockwave out the yin-yang on WWE.com? Looking at the card, it looks Wrestlemania-ish to me. It seems to look a bit thick on the RAW side, but at the same time, it has a more interesting roster. I figure if there's a darkhorse match on this card, it could be Benoit vs. JBL. It should be quite the physical encounter. I figure the Smackdown 3 way should be very good, while HHH vs. Cena MUST deliver. Edge vs. Mick Foley will be exactly like Orton vs. Foley from 2004, while HBK vs. Vince should also compete with "best backyard wrestling match of the night". I'm thinking that the Smackdown roster will hold down the relevance of the Money in the Bank match (seriously, Lashley, Hardy, and Finley aren't even in the classes of Benjamin, Flair, and RVD... well, maybe RVD). Undertaker vs. Mark Henry will be ABSOLUTE DEATH to get through.
I speak about HHH stepping it up. How about the Undertaker? Here's a guy who has only had TWO great Wrestlemania matches out of all of his bouts and they were against Kane at 14 (only, NOT 20), Triple H at 17, and Flair at 18. He had decent bouts, at best, against Jake Roberts, Diesel, Sid, and Randy Orton. BUT DAMN did he have horrible matches with Jimmy Snuka (granted, it was short and he was green), Giant Gonzalez, King Kong Dundy, Big Bossman (who can work), Albert/Big Show, and the 2nd match with Kane. YUCK! Granted, some of those opponents were crap. But I expected more out of his match with Roberts (maybe it was because the Undertaker sold nothing and Roberts is all psychology), Diesel and Sid matches were nothing special given their hype, and Undertaker's 1st bout with Orton was highly overrated when the match ran (though I liked the Summerslam match, later that year). The match with Snuka was expected, but the match with Giant Gonzalez... Oh God, that was possibly the worst Wrestlemania match, ever. Granted, Giant Gonzalez was 7'7" tall, but I saw him do some watchable things in WCW as El Gigante. Understandable about King Kong Bundy, who can unfortunately barely walk, let alone work a decent match. This wasn't 1986. But damn, the Bossman match was horrible. Bossman has a good track record as a worker and that match stunk. I wonder if it was more about the Vince Russo crash booking than the workrate, but still, this match forever resides as the WORST Hell in the Cell match ever. 2nd match with Kane sucked balls, despite the massive hype of the return of the "Dead Man" at Wrestlemania 20. And don't get me started on what was supposed to be Nathan Jones/Undertaker vs. Big Show/Albert, which turned into a handicap match because the WWE suddenly realized they were putting Nathan Jones on a Wrestlemania card.
Undertaker and HHH: It's time to justify WHY you're always on top of the WWE. Prove it this Sunday!
~Apple Dumplings~
-NWA-TNA will be going head-to-head this Saturday night with the WWE Hall of Fame Ceremony. Any predictions on the over-under on 0.5 for NWA-TNA? Seriously, what wrestling fan out there wouldn't want to watch Bret Hart getting inducted into the Hall? If TNA wants to be bold, they should attempt to get put on a show during Wrestlemania on Spike TV. Instead of shoving down "Six Sides of Death" steel cage matches down our throat for the next Pay Per View, why not have a special on Sunday Night on Spike TV? It's not like Spike TV would care and it's not like the WWE could retaliate because of the current cable climate that doesn't exactly give the WWE flexibility to place events on special nights for the USA Network. USA is a highly rated network and cherishes their evenings because their network, all around, gets great ratings. If TNA wants to become a legit #2, they need to kick the WWE in the mouth every once and a while.
I did catch TNA this past week... I'll EAT MY WORDS. I like Scott Steiner in his new role as Jeff Jarrett's enforcer. I was thinking he'd come in and dominate like only Big Pappa Pump can. However, he's been taken down a notch and just does Jarrett's dirty work (although the Jarrett stable and his connections are getting WAY too big and dominant). In addition, it's a good play off of past dealings with Steiner/Jarrett working together as a team from WCW. It makes sense. It doesn't make sense for Steiner to get a stupid tattoo on his chest, but that's nitpicking. Interesting how Sting said that "(Jarrett)'s not the only wrestler who has a speed dial" to old wrestler friends. Does that mean that we get the see Lex Luger again, or even Rick Steiner? So what's the over and under on Rick Steiner now coming to TNA? Oh man, that's now a sure bet! Besides Luger and Rick Steiner, I honestly can't think of any former Sting friend who could come in and hasn't signed a WWE legends contract or is in the WWE today? Who knows, maybe TNA might be bold and pick up the Ultimate Warrior, who was Sting's tag partner from waaaaay back in the day. That would be classic. Warrior's crazy promo cutting ability (especially if uncensored) could be a huge draw. Seriously, think about how mad he could get fans riled up with his famous phrases like "queering don't make the world work" or "I can't hear you with something in your mouth". Oh, sign him up! I'd tune in for a major trainwreck, any day of the week!
If anything, bringing the Warrior back would at least be entertaining in a twisted way. Shaving Larry Zbyszko, however, won't be. I don't get that angle, nor do I want to care about how much Raven hates Larry Z. Zbyszko should have enjoyed his feud with Eric Bischoff as his last shining moment and got the hell out of wrestling after that. Actually, I take that back. Larry Z is an EXCELLENT color commentator. I absolutely loved the Tony Shiavone and Larry Zybszko team, for that was a team with solid announcing chemistry. However, outside of announcing, Larry Z has proven to be a failure and since being the champion of a sinking ship in AWA, failure has followed him everywhere he's been when he's not announcing.
-I think it's VERY unfortunate that Jim Ross is calling the RAW matches instead of Joey Styles. This is a complete sign of disrespect to the RAW play by play guy. If you're going to bring in Ross, then keep Michael Cole off of the show, too. I like Cole, but it's unfair that Ross replaces an announcer who has worked his ass off to fit in at the WWE. Maybe Ross is a better announcer? I'm sure many will suggest that in their opinions, and if the best guy is available, then why not? But this is a sign of disrespect and if I were Styles, I'd pack my bags, ASAP. I believe that he's filled the shoes of Ross and would be better if he didn't have dickhead Johnathan Coachman attempting to hog the spotlight and the WWE justifying Coachman in the booth because of the ridiculous contract they paid him years ago amidst the Monday Night Wars. But hey, leave it to the WWE to always look backward and not foward. That's why Vince McMahon and Mick Foley are wrestling on Wrestlemania and that's why Ross is announcing on Wrestlemania.
At least give Styles some type of position on Wrestlemania. Maybe have him interview fans or something? I believe he's earned some sort of spot on the show.
-Rumor has it that Wrestlemania 23 will be in Detroit, MI at Ford Field. Not to be confused with the Pontiac Silverdome, as this sucker was built recently and opened around 2002, it's still a large venture for the WWE. I don't like it, for the WWE will have to fill an arena that seats 80,000 for basketball games. Therefore, to sell this place out, the WWE will have to attempt to pull another Wrestlemania 3. Myth suggests that 93,000 fit into the Silverdome that day. However, promoters and Detroit locals later admitted that it was 78,000, tops. Still, a lot of people. And back then, the WWE was in HIGH demand with Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant. Looking at the WWE now, they aren't as gigantic in popularity as they were this time in 1986. At least not in the terms of selling out a large venue like Ford Field. NO WAY. They better BEG Steve Austin to wrestle a match against Hogan for Wrestlemania 23, while begging the Rock to come back. That's the only way that the WWE could fill Ford Field. Detroit sure as hell isn't going to fill that place. That's a town who has lost 100,000 people over the last 15 years and there's no end in sight with the many automobile jobs that are leaving town.
WWE needs to think bigger or better for cities, and that's no offense to Detroit. They need to go somewhere that can form lots of media hype, has rabid wrestling fans willing to fill a large venue, and an impressive population base that's not diminishing severely. If I was in charge of deciding the Wrestlemania location, I'd go to Boston (fabulous Wrestlemania 14), Miami (like a mini-Hollywood), or Philadelphia (great fans). While I hate to rip the city of Detroit, there's no chance in hell they'll fill Ford Field with a sellout or even 75% for Wrestlemania 23. There are only a few cities in the United States who are willing to fill a large sized venue to see a WWE show these days. It's all about demand, baby...
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