Take up thy wrestling boots and walk - YBTB XI: Not the first time, the last time,... not the only time either
Submitted by Pt2 on Monday, March 20, 2006 at 11:40 AM EST





Welcome once again to the column that has long side burns and it’s hair slicked back, plays a mean guitar and drives a pink cadillac, it’s just a Take up thy wrestling boots and walk. I’m the Honky Tonk Columnist, Pt2, back once again from the immortal transgressions of my week to discuss the Eldorado of the entertainment industry, Professional Wrestling.

Just a quick note before we begin: This will be the last YBTB contest under the current format. From the next contest, the judging procedure will change. More details in the next column, but rest assured, this YBTB title defence will the end of an era.

With that said, lets get straight into it, and allow me to introduce you to the challenger for today’s contest. He hails from Des Moines, Iowa, in the United States of America. This is his first attempt at YBTB, but he has writing experience in the form of Fan fiction and is currently working on a movie script. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Number one contender for the YBTB championship, please welcome Rich Warner-Frost.

And his opponent….

He hails from the Sunshine State of Florida, and has a YBTB record of 2 – 0 – 0. He is also the only man in YBTB history to win a contest without losing a single scenario, when he was victorious in his last defence by the scoreline 3-0. As recognised by the YBTB commission, he is reigning, defending and undisputed YBTB champion of the World, he is BC.

Now that the contenders have been introduced, lets get this one underway.

Scenario 1: While not a good long term strategy, nostalgia can be a useful short term tool – this much Vince McMahon knows. He wants you to create a feud between Tatanka and Kurt Angle over the World Heavyweight title. It will run for 4 shows and a PPV event, and you may not use any form of Ladder or Cage match.

The Challenger will go first.

RWF: Smackdown after Wrestlemania opens hyping main-event Randy Orton/Booker versus Kurt Angle/Unknown. After the promo, Tatanka discusses his second chance and how he will live up to his Lumbee heritage and is interrupted by Booker, causing a heated discussion and altercation. Refs break it up; Angle comes by asks Tatanka if he wants payback and Tatanka agrees to be Angle’s partner. Match opens with furious action between the four before slowing down to a methodical match with Orton/Booker singling out Tatanka. Tatanka gets the hot tag to Angle who cleans house and attempts to Angle Slam Booker, but he escapes out of it into the Trail’s End by Tatanka, who gets the pin. Angle looks miffed but does nothing.
Week 2
Tatanka talks about being a Hero to his people and everyone else prompting Angle to come out. Angle tells him to hold on a minute, that he is the true Olympic Hero here on Smackdown. The two then argue about who is the hero and who isn’t. TRL comes out and books a Hero challenge, which man can beat their opponent faster, booking each against one member of the Gymini. Tatanka takes on Gymini1 and wins in 5:04 with a Tomahawk Chop. Angle takes on Gymini2. They battle back and forth and Simon Dean interferes, costing Angle time. Gymini2 taps to the Ankle Lock at 5:07. The show ends with Angle clamping the Ankle Lock on Dean and not releasing it.
Week 3
TRL books a handicap tag match, Angle/Tatanka vs. Gymini/Dean as punishment. The team of Angle/Tatanka spend most of the match one upping each other, refusing to tag each other, and resorting to blind tags, like when one hits the rope. The finish comes as Angle has Gymini1 in the Ankle Lock but before he taps, Tatanka delivers the Trails End on Dean and gets the pin. Angle gets in Tatanka’s face about stealing the win from him again. Tatanka leaves the ring before they come to blows.
Week 4
TRL comes down and calls Angle & Tatanka to ringside to resolve the Hero issue. The three men have a heated discussion; Tatanka points to the last three weeks while Angle points to his entire career, including his gold medal victory with a broken neck. Angle challenges him to a match at the PPV. Tatanka says he has nothing to prove. TRL says a true hero is champ, so he’ll make it a title match if Tatanka agrees, this upsets Angle but Tatanka agrees to the match.
PPV
Fast pace match with lots of back and forth action. The end sees an attempted Angle Slam turning into the Trail’s End, but only for a 2 count. Tatanka goes for the Tomahawk, but Angle catches him and locks on the Ankle Lock for the win. After the match, Tatanka raises Angle’s hand in a true act of heroism.

And now, the champion………
BC: Show #1
Angle issues a challenge to the SmackDown roster. JBL interrupts, saying Angle's courage directly coincides with his own hand injury and if JBL were healthy, he wouldn't get a shot. Angle immediately offers JBL a shot. Long appears and says JBL isn't cleared to wrestle and orders a battle royal main event to decide a challenger. Long says if JBL can get a doctor to give medical clearance, he can enter the battle royal.

The SmackDown locker room fills the ring and it comes down to Rey Misterio Jr. and Tatanka. Rey dials 619 then... JBL's music hits! JBL eliminates Rey with a clothesline. He stares down Tatanka... then raises Tatanka's hand.
Show #2
JBL announces he failed to get medical clearance... but with his money, it doesn't matter. JBL says he and Tatanka made a deal. As champ, Tatanka will offer him a shot for cash. Tazz & Cole discuss Tatanka's stint in the Corporation and say it won't be the first time he "sold out".

Angle asks Tatanka if it's true. Tatanka says to worry more about the title than Tatanka's alliances. Angle reminds Tatanka without JBL's help, Rey would've gotten the title match. He announces he'll face Rey next week anyway, because Rey deserves a shot.

Show #3
JBL is met by Long upon arrival. Long orders him to leave and focus on
healing his injury. Long threatens to book JBL in a PPV match with Rey if he
doesn't leave. He enters the arena, despite Long's threat.

JBL tracks Tatanka down and offers him money which Tatanka refuses. He says
he wouldn't consort with a "cowboy" like him for any price. When JBL asks about his title shot, Tatanka says Long arranges that. Tatanka leaves after saying his return isn't about money. JBL says negotiations wouldn't close until HE said so.

JBL is later spotted leaving.. with a smile. During the main event, Tatanka
runs out and attacks Angle, causing a DQ for Rey. Tazz & Cole sign off,
stating JBL must've closed the deal.

Show #4
Tatanka says JBL's money didn't interest him and he'll dethrone Angle Sunday
because Angle's just like all other Americans. He took what was Tatanka's
away. Tatanka says he'll show Kurt how it feels.

Angle's upset about Tatanka's anti-American sentiments. He says Tatanka will get what he deserves, a title shot... and more. In the main event, Tatanka defeats Rey by DQ after Angle runs-in and attacks him. Rey joins Angle in the attack. As the show ends, JBL watches backstage, saying Tatanka should've sold out.

PPV
Tatanka interferes in JBL's match with Misterio, giving JBL the win. Later, Tatanka tells JBL he wants the same courtesy later on. Long interrupts, telling JBL his victory secured his spot as the #1 contender. JBL says if Tatanka had agreed to the deal as first proposed, everything would be cool but since he already has a title shot, Tatanka's on his own. Tatanka gives a valiant effort but Angle wins.

Pt2’s view: Both are ok on the word count, BC just sneaks under with exactly 500 words. Now, lets get onto the good bit. Rich’s is very corny, what with the hero match and all. However, it does get stronger as it goes on.
BC starts much the better, creating genuine intrigue – However, the purpose of this is nostalgia, and although BC makes good reference to past events in an attempt to play up to this, his Tatanka is on more dodgy ground ethically – he doesn’t allow you to get behind and root for your nostalgic title win in the same way that RWF does.

Neither were particularly impressive though, on what was quite a hard scenario, even by YBTB standards. I’d say 65% for RWF and 58% for BC would be fair marks here.

So the first scenario is awarded to the challenger, RWF!

RWF: 1
BC: 0


Scenario 2: Book the debut of Mark Copani (Muhammed Hassan) in TNA – He can either be face or heel, but if you run with a similar gimmick to that he performed in the WWE, you must not get his character pulled from television before he can mount a serious challenge for the NWA title.


RWF: At Destination X, Steiner has the Recliner locked on Sting, the lights go out and Arab chants fill the air. The lights come on, Jarrett and Steiner are out cold and an Arab stands in the ring as Cage checks on Sting.
Impact - Jarrett talks about no one knowing who it was at Destination X. The lights go off and Arab chants fill the arena. The lights come on, an Arab stands alone in the ring, a lead pipe at his feet, and the army on the outside battered. The man discusses his past, his injury and his thoughts. He’s changed, there’s too much evil in the world, his family name means destroyer of evil, and tonight Mark Hasim starts his mission to destroy evil.
Next Impact - main event features Sting vs. Steiner. Jarrett’s Army tries to take out Sting. Cage comes out followed by Hasim. The two men send the Army packing.
Next Impact - Jarrett bad mouths Hasim. Hasim comes out and starts clearing house. The numbers are too great; the Army gangs up on him, but Cage, Sting and Rhino make the save.
Next Impact - Main event for Lockdown is Lethal Lockdown Match between Jarrett, Brown, Abyss, Steiner versus Cage, Sting, Rhino, Hasim. Hasim takes on Brown. Brown’s power is too much at first. Hasim counters with speed. Brown goes for the pounce but Hasim counters with a kick to the gut then the Finishing Touch for the pin. The Army comes to take out Hasim but his team comes to help.
Next Impact - Zbyszko issues no contact between the two teams, if they touch each other, unless in a match, that member will be removed from Lockdown. The next Impacts feature the squads in a combination of tag and single matches.
Lockdown starts with Hasim vs. Abyss. Hasim uses the weapons trying to get an advantage, but Abyss is unaffected. Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam as Steiner enters the ring. Steiner locks the recliner and Hasim fights out of it. He gets the big men to run into each other, allowing a Reverse STO on Abyss and the Camel Clutch on Steiner. Sting enters and they use their speed and weapons on the big men. As they get the upper hand, Brown enters delivering two pounces leading to a beat down. Shock Treatment on Hasim, Flatliner on Sting. As the two men lay in the ring, Cage enters. He hits the Unprettier on Brown, Steiner with a chair, and a one man conchairto on Abyss, giving his guys time to catch their breath. Jarrett enters and attacks the champ, hitting the Stroke and then uses the guitar on Sting. Rhino enters equaling the sides. Rhino goes to Gore Brown who is trying to pounce at the same time and both men go down. Cage hits the Unprettier on Steiner as Sting applies the Deathlock to Abyss. Hasim counters the Stroke into the Blue Thunder Backbreaker on Jarrett for the pin.
BC: April
A series of vignettes appear, hyping the coming of Mark Magnus. In them, Magnus tells the story of how his WWE stint ruined his life and forced him to denounce Islam as his religion. He says he's coming to TNA for one thing... revenge.

LockDown
Magnus, donning a white robe adorned with strange symbols, makes his TNA debut by suddenly attacking Shannon Moore during the X-Division Xscape match, stopping Moore from escaping the cage. Magnus leaves Moore laying and draws an X on his chest in a strange ritual.

May
Magnus appears on iMPACT and tells that the infamous "terrorist run-in" on the day of the London bombings was not his doing. He says that Shannon Moore, a fellow SmackDown member at the time, engineered the stunt as a "Punk" like prank. He tells how the incident ruined his life and that now Moore would suffer the same fate as a marked man.

The following week, Moore answers Magnus' claims, saying he was not responsible. Magnus interrupts, calling Moore a liar and vowing to cast him into hell with the rest of the sinners. Moore expresses concern, saying Magnus has lost his mind. Magnus attacks him and a match for Hard Justice is booked.

Hard Justice
Magnus destroys Moore in savage, bloody fashion. After the match, Magnus drags Moore to the back in a darkened area. Candles are lit to reveal a wooden cross standing over Moore. Magnus grabs a hammer and some nails but security swarms the scene and drags Moore to safety. The footage airs only one time on PPV and is never shown or explicitly referred to again.

June
Magnus appears on iMPACT, stating that TNA management threatened to pull him off of TV because they fear his power. He says that his conflict over which god to worship is over because his power exceeds them all. He promises to prove it with more sacrifices to himself, starting with TNA and going all the way back to the hell he came from, referring to WWE.

Christian Cage finally interrupts, mocking Magnus' attire and self-worship. He says that if Magnus thinks he's the best thing to come out of SmackDown, he's wrong. He says Magnus wasn't blackballed from TV because of his power; it was because he was crazy. He says that he won't let Magnus' actions put TNA iMPACT on Spike TV in jeopardy and if TNA management wouldn't pull Magnus off TV... he'd do it himself. Magnus & Cage become the first two participants in King Of The Mountain 3.

Pt2’s view: Seems our guys found this one the hardest: Both were about 80 words below their limit.

Ok. RWF’s here couldn’t be straightforward. In fact, writing here now I’m hard pushed to remember anything that happened in it, because it just seemed to be the typical bad mouthing and run in that you get in midcard feuds all the time. For that, I won’t be able to give very much.

BC has actually given us something to think about here. I actually think it’s fantastic. But I will have to mark it down. It is very inside, and if this was a scenario about WWE I’d have to take even more off again. It’s TNA though, so the “shoot” aspects fit more comfortably. I was very tempted to penalise for getting Hassan (or Magnus) thrown off TV for the bit with the cross, but if it’s only referred to once on PPV and ECW got away with crucifying Sandman, I think BC qualifies it enough by having it happen once to keep him on screen.

BC will score 70%. RWF’s isn’t bad… but it’s not innovative enough to score well by YBTB standards. 52%.

RWF: 1
BC: 1

And so, we go to the final scenario of the one man judging era of YBTB…. It’s been a blast, and hope this one can live up to it.

Scenario 3: In an attempt to recreate the success enjoyed with Mike Tyson, Vince McMahon wants to bring in another high profile celebrity – he wants to bring in Eminem to headline Wrestlemania in a team with John Cena, working against a heel team of Chris Benoit and HHH.

In your scenario, you must take Benoit to RAW, turn him heel, ally him with HHH – while simultaneously bringing in Eminem as well as you can while keeping his wrestling time to a minimum.

RWF: SNME- The Championship Contenders match is fast paced with lots of back and forth action. No one is able to get the upper hand; Orton grabs a steel chair and is DQ'd as he clocks Cena. Smackdown guys brawl up the entrance ramp as HHH grabs a sledgehammer and acts like he is going to hit Cena. Before he can, Eminem, who is in attendance, jumps the barricade, climbs in the ring, picks up the chair and slams it over HHH's back. HHH leaves the ring and Cena and Eminem celebrate with the crowd. WWE.Com Unlimited shows an exchange between Benoit and Cena & Eminem in the back. Benoit talks about Cena being lucky Vanilla Ice was there to save him, before bumping shoulders with Eminem and heading to the locker rooms.

Raw - Reviews SNME’s main event, shows Eminem's involvement and the altercation with Benoit. HHH comes to the ring talking about Vanilla Ice sticking his nose where he shouldn’t have and if it wasn’t for him Cena would have been eliminated. Cena and Eminem come to the ring and confront HHH. Eminem talks about his respect for Cena as a musician and it was the right thing to do. HHH gets in his face, Cena attacks HHH, the two men fight back and forth until Cena whips HHH towards Eminem, who kicks him, hits the FU and HHH retreats. Eminem grabs the mike and says he’s not done with visiting people.
Smackdown - Cameras follow Benoit as he is heading to the ring for a match and he runs into Cena and Eminem. Benoit runs his mouth about Vanilla Ice again, but Eminem hits Benoit causing a brawl that the referees break up. Benoit goes out and loses his US Championship Match. Benoit is interviewed and blames “Eminice” and his cheap knock off Vanillacena for the loss and declares payback.
Raw- HHH and Cena pick the opponent for the other. Cena comes down to the ring with Eminem and HHH comes out and says that your opponent is the newest member of Raw… Benoit’s music hits and the two men make their way to the ring. Cena and Benoit fight back and forth. Cena starts building momentum and hits the ropes and HHH trips him, causing Eminem to get in HHH’s face. HHH hits him, and Cena drops out of the ring and starts to attack HHH. Benoit chases Cena and the four men start to brawl. It ends in the ring with Eminem in the Crossface and Cena the victim of a pedigree. Vince comes out furious, talking about the past repeating itself between entertainers and wrestlers. He strips HHH’s title shot and declares the new main event at Wrestlemania to be Cena/Eminem vs. HHH/Benoit in a tag street fight. As Vince finishes, Cena and Eminem jump HHH and Benoit. Raw goes off the air with the fight already started.
BC: RAW: Cena defeats HHH to become the #1 contender to Edge's RAW Title. Cena/Edge is booked for Royal Rumble and new RAW GM, Ric Flair, promises to make it even bigger by making it a TLC match.

SD: Theodore Long says he'll trump RAW's line-up for the Royal Rumble. He promises a SmackDown star will win the Rumble and nobody will care about TLC after... Eminem performs live.

Rumble: Cena meets with Eminem backstage and calls him his personal inspiration. Eminem jokingly comments he might enter the Rumble. They wish each other luck in their match/performance.

HHH costs Cena the TLC match. Edge retains the title.

Eminem begins his set... but is attacked by Benoit! Benoit locks Eminem in the CrossFace and refuses to release the hold, forcing officials to separate them. Benoit is ejected from the building and prematurely eliminated from the Rumble.

RAW: The Cena/HHH feud escalates through a promo. HHH tells Cena to stick to rap because he can't beat him. Cena combats by pointing out he did and could any day, including next week.

SD: Long confronts Benoit. Benoit says he's sick of seeing wrestling overshadowed. Eminem's time should've been filled by wrestling. Long gives the old tagline that WWE's about entertainment and if Benoit doesn't get that, he should go. Benoit agrees and quits SmackDown.

RAW: After a Cena music video, Cena and HHH go one-on-one. The match ends when Benoit interferes and attacks Cena causing the DQ. The show ends with Benoit & HHH putting the boots to him.

The following week, Cena faces Benoit. This time, HHH causes the DQ... but Eminem makes the save! A chair-wielding Eminem chases Benoit & HHH away.

Next week, Eminem goes to Flair and demands a match with Benoit. Flair says
Benoit could rip him apart. Cena offers to train Eminem for the match. Flair gives Cena four weeks to prepare Eminem for the match. Each week, a video shows Cena teaching Eminem the dirty tricks of the trade.

HHH shows Flair the videos, proving Eminem's wrestling knowledge only consists of eye gouges and low blows. Flair reminds HHH both of them made a career of those tactics. Flair's confident Benoit's been around long enough to know how to handle it.

Finally, Eminem wrestles Benoit on RAW. Eminem relies on the underhanded techniques he learned but loses after HHH runs-in and Pedigrees him. Benoit and HHH leave together, proudly proclaiming their superiority.

Next week, Flair confronts them. HHH says he thought cheating was acceptable. Flair says if HHH wanted to put his nose into it, he should've asked. Flair books a tag match for 'Mania. Benoit & HHH attack Flair.

As the road to 'Mania continues, more training vignettes air while Flair books Benoit & HHH in a match against Kane & Big Show where they win the tag titles. The Monday before 'Mania, Cena & Eminem cost them the titles and end with a four-man brawl, leaving fans excited for Sunday.

Pt2’s view: Well, predictably, they’ve saved the best until last and given us some real good ones to go out with.

Both have gone similar route’s with Benoit, and luckily for them I like the route they have both taken. I think BC shades it in this department, because he has Benoit talk less (which we know is not his strongpoint) and also manages to build him up not into some pissed off arrogant heel, but into the psychotic crippler heel that we all know and love from times past.

Where BC got Flair from, I don’t know. He’s lucky that I like it though, because a combination of me not liking it AND the penalty for not introducing him as an authority figure properly would have probably cost him the contest. As it is, he’s probably got enough to still be competitive.

BC definitely shades the bringing Benoit to RAW section, because he actually explains it on air – while in RWF’s, Benoit is simply “the new member of RAW” come Monday night. Why would Long let him go? Still though, it is explained, so penalties probably aren’t applicable – just can’t gain anything from it.

When it comes to using Eminem in the ring as little as possible, I think neither man does badly, with RWF keeping him out of the ring completely and BC only using him once during the whole run up….

Damn, this one is tough to call.

I think in hindsight, this one is very close, but BC shades it just. 78% for BC beats 75% for RWF. But unfortunately for BC he uses Flair as an authority figure without explaining it, when Flair hasn’t had the power to make matches on RAW since about 2002, I think. That’s got to constitute a major storyline error and a penalty of 5%.

That means that BC’s score is cut to 73%, and that Rich Warner-Frost has won the final scenario.

And with that, by the power entrusted to me by the YBTB commission, I declare that Rich Warner-Frost is the recognised YBTB champion of the World, and he becomes the fifth person to hold the title.


Many thanks to both contenders for playing. That one was very close, so I hope BC will take advantage of his champions rematch clause and come back to have another shot at RWF. Many congratulations obviously to Rich, who becomes the first Non-columnist to hold the YBTB championship.

If you’d like to contact me about YBTB, you can do it at takeupthywrestlingboots@gmail.com.

Until next time,

Take care

Pt2









*NEW GALLERY* Very HOT and Rare Candid Photos of Mickie James!

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