Take up thy wrestling boots and walk - YBTB X: Ten Minutes in the making!
Submitted by Pt2 on Tuesday, February 28, 2006 at 11:51 AM EST





Welcome once again to the column that tells ‘em Hawk, Take up thy wrestling boots and walk. I’m the man who really can’t say “uuuuuurgh what a rush!” and be taken seriously, Pt2, back from the majestic chariot race that is my week to talk about the elixir of life that is professional wrestling.


Well, I was supposed to bring you the second part of my appraisal in this column. But I haven’t finished it as well as I would like, so rather than rush it and give you an inferior column, I’m going to play with the schedule a little bit and bring you the first YBTB title defence of new Champion BC in the meantime. Sometime during the week I expect to have the Appraisal pt. 2 finished, so keep an eye out for that.

But for now, I hope you’ll stay for our feature presentation: The man who dethroned Random Guy #5 faces his first challenger, a reader of Take up thy wrestling boots and walk who threw his hat into the ring. Can BC prove that it wasn’t a fluke, or will his opponent do what no reader has ever done, and defeat a Lords of Pain columnist?

He’s got a good shot, so I think it’s time I introduced you to him.

Challenging this time out is Steven Quinlan. He hails from Gouda, in Holland, and his writing experience extends to Fan Fiction – this is his first shot at writing the fantasy booking of wrestling. He has been a fan of wrestling for over 15 years and his favourite wrestler is the Undertaker. Perhaps the best recommendation I can give him, is that he outscored all other applicants to get the first shot in the preliminary round – if he can match that performance over three rounds, then he’s got a great shot of taking the title.

And for those unaware, I’ll introduce the man he’ll be trying to take that title from.

He hails from the Sunshine State of Florida. He is the man who ended the reign of the most dominant champion in YBTB history. He is currently undefeated in YBTB contests. He writes “Volume One” on the main page of LOP, he is…. BC.

You should all be familiar with the rules by now… if you are not, you can find them in the previous YBTB contest.


Scenario 1:
Ted Turner is looking to get back into the wrestling business, and he puts together a promotion he hopes will one day run head to head with the WWE. However, it is early days, and to do that he has to get through his first month.

You have been hired as his chief writer. He has bankrolled the initial roster acquisition, and you come away with 18 wrestlers.

Your challenge is, to put together a months worth of shows that will convince me, the punter, to become a fan of the product so they can keep going and pick up steam, using no more than 18 wrestlers (obviously they all must be still active in some respect), NONE of whom can have main evented a Pay Per View for the WWE Since January 2000, or held a WWE singles championship since January 2004.

The Champion will go first.

BC: TV #1
Commissioner Bret Hart opens the show and announces a World Title tournament. The finals will occur on PPV. Two quarterfinals will occur tonight and two next week.
Mike Awesome destroys L.S.D. (Little Spike Dudley) to win Quarterfinal #1.
The Jung Dragons (Kaz Hayashi & Jimmy Yang) and Los Guerreros Del Infierno
(Ultimo Guerrero & Rey Bucanero) wrestle to a draw. The former Test & Albert
interrupt, destroying both teams.
Christy Hemme comes out and announces she brought her "T&A" to the show,
Train & Andrew. In the main event, Ken Shamrock forces Diamond Dallas Page to submit to win Quarterfinal #2.

TV #2
Steve Corino starts the show saying how disgusted he was last week, particularly in how one-sided the main event was. He is upset he isn't the main event of this week's show. Corino loses to Masato Tanaka in Quarterfinal #3. Awesome cuts a promo saying he doesn't want to wait two weeks to ruin another life. He will destroy somebody next week. Train & Andrew beat LGDI. After the match, The Jung Dragons save LGDI from a beating.
Yoshihiro Tajiri defeats Low-Ki to win Quarterfinal #4.

TV #3
Awesome comes out at the top of the show, stating he won't leave the ring until he is "fed a victim". Hart scrambles and sends out LGDI who get obliterated. Finally, Tanaka runs out and drives him away from the ring. Train & Andrew defeat The Jung Dragons and leave them laying, much to Christy's delight.
DDP confronts Corino about his comments last week. Corino says nobody wants
Page here. Page counters by saying nobody wants Corino here and offers to
prove it. Page tells Corino to find anyone to be his partner for a tag match
next week. Shamrock defeats Tajiri to win Semifinal #1. Shamrock leaves and Low-Ki runs out. Instead of helping Tajiri up, Ki attacks him!
The show ends with Ki giving Tajiri a savage beating which takes several
referees to break up.

TV #4
Ki challenges Tajiri to a Japanese Death Match stating Tajiri owes him a
chance at redemption.
DDP comes out with L.S.D. Corino says he couldn't choose "a" partner... then
out come Train & Andrew! Corino & Christy watch on as Train & Andrew defeat
DDP & L.S.D.
Corino orders them to finish DDP... when the Steiner Brothers come out! The
Steiners say that Train & Andrew had it too easy for too long and it's time
to pick on someone their own size.
In Semifinal #2, Awesome & Tanaka wrestle to a double count-out.
The show ends with Bret Hart announcing Awesome & Tanaka will BOTH face
Shamrock on the PPV.

PPV CARD
World Title Match: Ken Shamrock vs. Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka
Japanese Death Match: Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Low-Ki
Grudge Match: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Steve Corino
Junior Heavyweight Title Match: Jimmy Yang vs. Kaz Hayashi vs. Ultimo
Guerrero vs. Rey Bucanero
Tag Team Match: The Steiner Brothers vs. Train & Andrew with Christy Hemme

Steven: At the first show of the new promotion the ring is dark. A video package opens on the new shows Titantron, showing segments from various famous, legendary wrestlers.. All time greats from all countries are shown and a voice tells us that legends are everywhere. Greatness that lies undiscovered and untapped. Greatness that isn’t born, but made.

Brett Hart arrives to thunderous applause, to announce that the new promotion, Legends Wrestling aims to make their own legends. They have taken wrestlers who haven’t been pushed hard enough or discarded. They are all former WWE wrestlers, because Legends Wrestling has ambition, and the WWE are the biggest promotion on the block. Wrestlers whose talent was never allowed to shine and who now have a chance at greatness. He won’t be wrestling, but he was asked to oversee the tournament to crown the Legends heavyweight champion, and he’ll do just that.

He announces an over the top rope battle royal between all the stars in this new promotion, and when they are whittled down to the last four, those four will have a tournament which will lead to a contender . The other contender however, will be chosen from all those eliminated in the battle royal to make sure that everyone gets a chance at the gold. Other titles will be established, and other wrestlers hired as soon as it is appropriate, but every promotion has to start somewhere, and this is it.

The battle royal ends after a tense fight with, Ken Kennedy, Bobby Lashley, Paul Burchill and the returning Ken Shamrock as the final four. It is announced that next week Kennedy and Burchill will fight, as will Shamrock and Lashley. The remaining 8 wrestlers will also have a tournament over the course of the next two weeks, leading to a triple threat match for the title in the fourth week.

Lashley beats Ken Shamrock, and Ken Kennedy beats Burchil and are set for the finals the next week. Meanwhile Richards, Finlay, Regal and Doug Basham make the final four of their own tournament.

During the contender tournament that night, Kennedy interferes with Regal’s match, giving him the win, and then interferes with the other match causing a double count-out. With no winner of the second bout, Brett rules that the title match will be 1 on 1, but before that, it’s Kennedy versus Lashley.

Kennedy and Lashley fight, and Lashley nails the dominator and goes for a pin but Regal arrives, distracting the referee. He finally begins to count the pin, but Kennedy manages to kick out. He gets up and whips Lashley into the corner, before lifting him up for the Green Bay Plunge for the three count.

During the fourth week title match between Kennedy and Regal, Kennedy manages to pull out a hard fought victory after which he receives the title from Brett. Kennedy takes the mic to say that he has won tonight, but that it doesn't end here. This is where the legend begins.

Pt2’s view: Well, I’ve got plenty to say about this one. Steven’s is solid. Perhaps a bit smarkish in it’s set up, but to be honest I can’t see that hurting too much in the early stages when you want to get as many of the die hard wrestling fans in as possible. His choice of wrestlers won’t gain him many marks, but he has enough talent in there to carry a show… so he won’t lose any either. All in all, I’d be rather comfortable giving this a 75%.

BC, on the other hand, is lucky that I like his as much as I do. It’s simple, straightforward, competent booking that will get him a high score to start with. But really, it’s penalty heaven, because both competitors were instructed that they had four shows to work with and BC has set up four and a PPV, and has included a wrestler that has held a WWE singles title after the date specified (Spike Dudley held the WWE cruiserweight title after January 2004, in July of the same year).

Like I say, he’s lucky it was so damn good, because with the 10% chop that those penalties will incur, if he wasn’t on top form, he could have lost that scenario. But he didn’t. 90%, minus 10%, leaves him with 80%, and a margin of victory of 5%.


And so BC, the defending champion, takes a 1-0 lead in the first scenario. Next, we see how well they handle a familiar face….

Scenario 2: Book the return of Brock Lesnar to the WWE. You may use any wrestler or employee of the WWE. This is a golden opportunity in the eyes of Vince McMahon. Failure is not an option. You will be penalised heavily if you fail to get the most out of Lesnar.

BC: WWE.com reveals that Brock Lesnar has agreed to terms and will return to
WWE. The next night on SmackDown!, Roddy Piper is the first guest on Randy
Orton's new show, The O-Zone. Piper calls it another Piper's Pit ripoff and
announces Piper's Pit returns at WrestleMania 22, along with a former
champion. Michael Cole & Tazz begin speculating on who it could be.

At WrestleMania, Piper welcomes... Batista. Batista says it's good to be
back and he's sorry to miss wrestling at WM22 but wouldn't being attending
the event. Orton comes out, unimpressed by Piper's special. He says he was
expecting "somebody else". Piper says he delivered on his promise. Orton
RKOs him but Batista knocks Orton out of the ring to close the segment.

Later, Rey Misterio Jr. challenges SmackDown champion Kurt Angle. The match
is marred by controversy when Brock Lesnar returns and F5's Rey, allowing
Angle to win.

On SmackDown, Lesnar speaks out, saying he quit WWE to pursue a dream and
the world mocked him for it. Nobody mocked Angle for going for Olympic Gold
or Rocky for acting. He says it's not the first time he's been wronged,
citing losing the SmackDown title to Eddy Guerrero. He makes tasteless
comments about how Eddy stole the belt and "look where he ended up". He
appeared at 'Mania because he didn't want Eddy's cheating ways to cost
another champion and give the belt to someone unworthy. Hearing that, Rey
rushes out and attacks Lesnar.

Next week, Batista meets with Rey and expresses his distaste with Lesnar's
comments. Kurt says hello. They ask if Kurt knew Lesnar's plan. He answers
no, he's got more history with Brock than anybody. Batista & Rey seem
suspicious.

Next week, Lesnar announces his return to active competition, issuing an
open challenge. Batista and Rey argue over which of them should accept.
Teddy Long, upset over Lesnar ruining the WM main event, makes it a tag
match. Batista & Rey vs. Lesnar & anybody he can get is booked.

Lesnar wrestles solo since no superstar wants to help him. Kurt comes out
and tries to hit Lesnar with the belt, but misses and hits Rey. Batista
confronts Angle as the referee spots Lesnar standing over the belt and Rey
down, then calls a DQ. Lesnar rightfully protests the call.

Next week, Lesnar quits WWE again. He'll never get a fair shake with Long,
the superstars or the referees. He points out Eddy never gave him a return
match. Long tells Lesnar he's right, he's owed one title shot. Batista says
he never lost the title. Rey adds in he never got a fair chance at WM22.
Long sees all sides and books a four-way.

Angle creates an alliance with Batista & Rey so the three of them could take
out Lesnar and get rid of him for good. The alliance slowly breaks down as
all decide they want the gold. In the end, Lesnar gains a measure of
redemption by winning the title.

Steven: Following No Way Out, every week at Raw a promo airs right before the main event, announcing the return of one of the greats at the grandest stage of them all, Wrestlemania 22. During the title match HHH has Cena pinned when Brock runs out, flattening HHH with the F5. Brock then lays waste to an already exhausted HHH and Wrestlemania goes off the air with Brock standing in the center of the ring holding HHH's newly won title high.

The next night on Raw, Lesnar comes out and cuts a promo explaining that while he's gone away, things have gone down hill on Raw. He claims that rap-artists and R rated superstars aren't what Raw needs. It needs a real champion, a true professional. He is interrupted by Cena who comes down to the ring and explains that Lesnar might be back from his vacation, but there's no room on Raw for him now.

Lesnar reminds Cena that the last time they fought, the F5 beat the FU for the championship. The two brawl around the ring, with Brock interfering in Cena's rematch that night costing Cena his chance to regain his title. Raw goes off the air to Brock standing over Cena this time.

The following week Vince comes out and says that this interference in his matches in unacceptable, and orders a number 1 contenders match between Cena and Lesnar for Vengeance. And it won't just be any old nr 1 contenders match for the WWE title. As they are both former champions they deserve something special. The man to face HHH at Summerslam will be the last man standing.

After a brutal battle at Vengeance, Brock Lesnar is standing tall having F5'd Cena for a ten-count when HHH attacks Brock with a sledgehammer, busting Brock open and leaving him lying in the ring, and promises Lesnar that while Lesnar might bring the pain HHH is the mast of the game, and in four weeks at Summerslam will retain his championship, but that between then and know, Brock will know real pain.

For the next four weeks HHH ambushes Lesnar a total of three times, each time with Lesnar managing to barely fight the Game off. After the third attack, he goes to Vince and tells him that since HHH has made him pay blood and sweat for the last month, he should get the same chance, and Vince agrees to make it a first blood match.

At Summerslam, a vicious battle ends when Brock counters a strike with a hammer from HHH into the F5 onto the hammer busting HHH open and crowning Brock the new WWE champion. As he celebrates the victory John Cena comes out onto the stage and stares at the new champion, promising interesting times ahead.


Pt2’s view: Well, this seems to be a real Jekyll and Hyde scenario. Both seem to have an attribute that the other doesn’t… and since you get punished if you don’t get the most from Lesnar, I suppose I have to slash marks down a peg.

BC’s doesn’t start as strong as Steven’s, but I think once Lesnar is in it does much more with it. Steven has the better intro, but when it comes to an actual feud it does seem a little disjointed in places, a little reliant on gimmick matches, and just not as watch-able as that offered by BC.

I’d say marks of 65% for BC and 57% for Steven were fair here: Both are very solid scenarios…. But since they both manage to do things that the other doesn’t, you can say that they both don’t make the most of Lesnar, and as such, receive lower marks than they ordinarily would.


With that, BC becomes the first contestant to defend his championship successfully in two straight scenarios. Although Steven can’t come back, lets take a look at the third scenario: He may only be playing for pride now, but I’m sure he’d love the chance to take that scoreline and make it 2-1.

Scenario 3: Scenario 3: Book the debut of MNM in TNA. You have the whole TNA roster to do this, but you have only 3 shows to make maximum impact, as TNA want to steal some of the thunder from the upcoming Wrestlemania PPV. You must also make your impact while keeping MNM a unit throughout your scenario.

BC: Show #1
One week after retaining the NWA World Tag Team Titles over Team 3D,
America's Most Wanted and Gail Kim enter the ring on iMPACT! They say that after beating 3D, there are no worthy opponents in TNA. They've gone outside the organization for suitable challengers and found them... on the J-List. "Johnny" and "Joey", along with "Kyra" come out and shake hands with AMW.

Kyra announces that the J-List is such an exclusive group that even the A-List celebrities can't get into J-List parties. J-List, like AMW, were forced to look outside their promotion for suitable opponents. In their case, it was to find any at all. J-List accept AMW's offer to a title match next week.

Later, Gail meets up with Kyra in the women's locker room. Gail welcomes her again to TNA and asks if she knows what J-List's role is next week. With a win over "New York's" dominant team, AMW will cement themselves as today's greatest team. Kyra says that's a pretty big if and that if AMW expect J-List to lay down, they are mistaken.

Show #2
Before the match, Larry Zbyszko confronts the J-List. He says that he's upset about them receiving a title match, but AMW orchestrated it so he can't stop it. He tells them if they win they'll be expected to defend against all comers. J-List say if they were Larry, they wouldn't worry about it. Once Zbyszko leaves, Kyra asks what that comment meant, wondering if AMW hadn't gotten into her team's head. J-List brush it off as just talk and head out for the match.

In the opening moments, Joey lays down, allowing Storm to cover... but Joey rolls him up for two! J-List say they didn't come this far to quit. A competitive match begins. The referee takes a bump as J-List hits the Snapshot. Just then... Team 3D run out and hit the 3D on AMW. Gail Kim tries to interfere but Kyra grabs her for a catfight. J-List attack Team 3D and suffer 3Ds themselves before 3D make their exit. The ref recovers with all four down. Storm covers Johnny as Joey covers Harris. The three-count is registered and iMPACT comes to a end with no winner decided.

Show #3
AMW and J-List appear in Zbyszko's office, arguing over who won. Zbyszko says they'll wait until the show's end to find out. AMW blames J-List for not laying down while J-List maintains they're the rightful champions. At show's end, Zbyszko announces that neither team lost, but neither team won. The winners were Team 3D for taking out both teams. 3D comes out, thinking they'll be awarded the NWA Tag Titles. Zbyszko says no and vacates the titles. He says that Spike TV will have a Sunday night primetime special opposite WrestleMania. The titles will be hung from the ceiling for a ladder match between the three teams. The six men and two women brawl to close out The segment.

Steven: The show after AMW win the TNA tag titles, Melina opens Impact in the ring along with Mercury and Nitro. They tell the audience that AMW may be America’s most wanted, but that MNM is America’s most famous tag team, and that they are coming for the gold.

Team 3D comes out and takes exception to MNM claiming to be the most famous tag team in America, as they haven’t achieved a fraction of the success that they have over the years, and that if anyone is going to go for the tag gold, it will be them. The Naturals arrive at the ring, reminding everyone that they have a rematch clause for the titles that they just lost against AMW.

The three teams argue in the ring and a brawl brakes out, during which Team 3D and the Naturals double-team MNM and chase them from the ring. A match is set for the next week, which will be a three-tag tables match, with the winner being the first team to put someone through a table.

In that match team 3D and the Naturals once again double-team MNM, but as Bubba-Ray and brother Devon try to put Mercury through a table, Chase makes the save by taking down Devon. Chase and Andy take Devon outside the ring and MNM take advantage of that distraction to rally and put Bubba-ray through the table with the Snapshot for the win.

As MNM celebrates, AMW rushes to the ring and devastates the team, giving the death sentence to both Mercury and Nitro before announcing that they’re a little impressed with MNM. Not enough to give them a title shot, but enough to give them a match the next week. After that announcement they toss both Mercury and Nitro out of the ring and have a celebration.

The match the next week goes back and forth, with each team getting several near pinfalls, until a missed clothesline leaves Mercury in perfect position for the Death Sentence. Melina prevents the pin however, and while the wildcat is arguing with her and the ref, Nitro gives a low blow to James storm, and quickly covers.

Chris is stopped from getting to him by Melina who grabs his legs from outside the ring and the ref counts the pinfall for MNM. After the match AMW tries to clear the ring, but with James Storm still suffering from the low blow, they can’t manage it and both members take a Snapshot before rolling out of the ring. An elated Melina joins Mercury and Nitro in the ring and announces to the crowd that MNM may be a young team, and that maybe Team 3D is right and they haven’t achieved as much as they have yet, but right here and now, they are here and they mean to stay. TNA just became Total Nonstop MNM.

Pt’s view: Once again, Steven’s is solid. In most matches two of these scenario’s would have been good enough for him to take the championship, and it’s unfortunate for him that he’s come up against BC in such a vein of form.

And it’s truly unfortunate for him, because once again as good as Steven’s booking was, BC’s was again better. While Steven’s is better, BC creates a great new gimmick for the debuting MNM in TNA (The J-list certainly has more of a ring to it than Team 3D and that seems to work fine), and by setting up the climactic match (which looks about as good as a tag match can be without having the midnight express, edge and Christian, the British Bulldogs or Triple X in it) opposite the Wrestlemania show he actually manages to do something that I don’t think anyone other than Shawn Michaels and his missing smile has done before – he takes some of the shine from Wrestlemania. Simply stunning work.

Steven scores 72%, but once again you’re winner with a phenomenal 96%, BC.


And so I declare that the winner is the reigning, defending, undisputed YBTB champion of the world, BC.

Congratulations and Commiserations are in order. Congratulations to BC for successfully retaining and becoming the first man to perform the “grand slam” of all three scenarios, and commiserations for Steven, because he’s actually done a lot better than many of the people who have gone before, and were it not for BC’s raising the bar… well, he would probably be champion now. He must count himself very unlucky to clear 70% twice and not have anything to show for it.

But, that is the nature of YBTB. It can be a cruel mistress.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this one. I’ll bring you my next column, and then hopefully BC will be back to defend against another contestant in the column after that, before I conclude “The Appraisal” – see, I’ve got it all planned out.

Thanks to both contestants for taking part. If you’d like to take part, or you have any comments about this contest, then you can contact me at takeupthywrestlingboots@gmail.com, and I’ll reply to all mail received.

Until next time, Take care

Pt2









*NEW GALLERY* Must SEE VERY HOT Pix of G4 TV's Olivia Munn! WHOA!!

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