|
|
|
|
|
Submitted by Randomguy#5 on Sunday, February 26, 2006 at 12:05 AM EST
This Column’s Gay “Maybe I’m the faggot, America” Welcome back everybody to the column that’s fresh off the biggest drawing issue in its history, The Nosebleed Section. I am your proud of himself host, Randomguy#5, still busy patting myself on the back for my 6,000+ hits on my last column. With that, Randy Orton becomes the biggest draw in Nosebleed history, and I am still only halfway to Tito numbers. *sigh* --I for one, found it hilarious that Michael Cole freaked out on a caller during his radio show on Sirus radio with Tazz. If you didn’t listen to the outburst, goofy little Michael Cole apparently is so goofy out of character, and started dropping F-bombs on the caller while praising himself for having his own “goddamned radio show”. Cool Mike. Seriously. I thought it was hilarious. Like listening to Bob Sagat’s profanity laced comedy routines. --For anybody who may be interested, the front page of The Project has a video parody by Lop’s own Boss Foxx entitled Brokeback McMahon . It chronicles the feud between Vince and HBK in an absolutely hilarious fashion. --Which reminds me: If I may, I’d like to share with you a quote from the very same Boss Foxx, who expressed my sentiments regarding my new favorite pastime better than I ever could. Online poker is more addicting than snorting cocaine off Jessica Alba’s tits Priceless. --I know I talked last week about doing a column on Edge, and it’s a topic I really want to do (and still fully intend to) as well as one regarding the Vince/HBK scenario (ditto) but for whatever reason, this column you’re going to read today just seemed to flow a bit better, so I hope you will forgive me for churning it out instead. Author’s Note: May I please request that you read this entire column before emailing me a bunch of slanderous hate mail. Judge at the end, not at the title. Titles are designed to intrigue readers, and occasionally present an idea in satirical fashion. They are not designed, nor capable of, presenting an idea in its entirety. Read the whole thing, then send me the hate mail if you see fit. Thank you. Pop culture is quickly becoming obsessed with all things homosexual. I blame Queer Eye for a Straight Guy. Surely that TV show could be deemed responsible for what is amounting to a groundswell of support/backlash for homosexuality. There is no touchier subject for a Current Events teacher than to begin a unit on political issues and have to discuss Gay and Lesbian Rights. Give me the War in Iraq, or Abortion any day of the week, but please don’t ask me to convey the sensitivity or complexity of this issue to a group of twelve and thirteen year olds. Alas, I am asked that. Every day of the week. And I do it. Not because its part of some sadistic curriculum somewhere (which its not) but because I consider discussion about such topics to be important. How can I ignore it when films like Brokeback Mountain sweep the Oscars? Or when news broadcasts pepper our televisions with protests by civil rights activists? Or when the WWE, a company that several of my students watch, repeatedly send mixed (if not bigoted) signals regarding homosexuality toward my students? Homosexuality is not the taboo topic it used to be in public discussion and pop culture, and simply ignoring this problem is not going to make it go away. Bare in mind now, that it is not homosexuality that I consider to be the problem. Quite honestly, the origins of such feelings are something I’m uncertain on. However, there are a few things I do honestly believe. Knowing several homosexual people myself, I’ve had the privilege of discussing these topics with people or gay or lesbian orientation. They all tell me the same things. It’s not a choice….It’s not something I do intentionally… With society this way, you think I’d do this by choice?…I’m not ashamed. Hey, I’m no psychology major, and I’m not a doctor. I’m an educator. What I know is that, from what I’ve read, been told by Psychologists and told by homosexuals themselves, homosexuality is an innate condition, not a conscious decision. Finding no evidence to the contrary I operate my life under this premise. Save your emails as well, I don’t need littered with “evidence to the contrary”. It’s not that I’m trying to determine rather homosexuality is right or wrong, because the ultimate conclusion there is unimportant to me. What is important, is that our society advance to a state of tolerance, and not lash out in hatred and violence every time an idea is presented to them that doesn’t fit within their perfect little world. Last week, Chris Kanyon of both WWE and WCW fame under both that name and the name Mortis, essentially “came out” admitting to the world that he is gay. His statements on his Website were later retracted to a certain degree, with his claiming that his character and not necessarily himself, is gay. Now, rather or not Kanyon is in fact homosexual remains to be determined. In reality, the entire “coming out” may have been little more than a publicity stunt. Perhaps it was a true sentiment that was later retracted because he realized it would kill his chances of getting work on the Indy circuit. Who knows? We probably never will. I thank him for having the gull to bring this to forefront anyway. I say this, because you see, it does not concern me that there may be gay men wrestling on Raw, Smackdown or Impact. I can understand that, and while I admit I’m not entirely comfortable in the presence of homosexuals (a good friend of mine got married last summer, her “maid of honor” was a gay man) I attribute that to my inexperience and ignorance regarding them. What truly bothers me is the intolerance that people show. Need an example? Consider the opening post, in a thread devoted to Kenyon’s “coming out” in the Lop forums Oh dear, oh dear ... it seems that somehow a homo has managed to mix his way into the world of pro wrestling! I never was a fan off Kanyon and this puts the icing on the cake so to speak. Is there a place for homosexuals in wrestling? No. I don't think so. At least we can all be thankful that this is an isolated incident. I try, hard, to remain tolerant in my life. Yet I am a failure. I’m intolerant of intolerance. Comments like that, as evidenced by the thread they came from, are not isolated incidents from a few bigoted people, but rather represent a substantial portion of the population I fear. It is near impossible to feel comfortable around peoples alien to you, be that race, sexual orientation, religion or any other. It is human nature to fear that which we don’t understand, it is not human nature to loathe it. Rather, that impulse is brought on by a society that breeds intolerance and ignorance. Such impulses are instilled in the minds of people by outside influences. The notion to fear is natural, whereas the reaction to despise is brought on by false information-information perpetuated by entertainment and pop culture. Kanyon insinuated that his WWE release was at least in part, a result of his sexual orientation. Much like racism accusations, if that company harbored such reservations I would not be surprised, but more than likely it’s just a ploy. What I do know, is that again, much like racism, the WWE has done very little to persuade us that they are not homophobic. In fact, many of the characters that the WWE has portrayed as being homosexual, have been cast in a negative light. The original Goldust character was perhaps the most successful, though even he was not (to my knowledge) an openly gay character, but rather one laced with innuendo for the purpose of playing mind games with his opponent. Billy and Chuck were a lightening rod for gay innuendo for most of their run as a tag team, and were at times highly entertaining. In spite of their awfully stereotypical behavior, at the very least they were heading towards becoming the WWE’s first prominent openly gay characters. If you recall, they were to be married in a segment that gained national attention (written about in the New York Times) only to have the ceremony interrupted by Eric Bischoff and 3-Minute Warning. The entire “gay gimmick” was later scrapped, with both men denouncing it. While I would condemn the manner in which these characters were portrayed, it was anything but social responsibility; it was at the very least a step toward tolerance, in that perhaps viewers would be faced with “out” characters. The WWE passed on this opportunity. Granted, they are in the entertainment business, and under no obligation to do anything to create social reform. Such a responsibility should be assumed however, in all major venues. Music has long sense been an outlet for conveying messages to people. Hollywood has taken it upon themselves (through films like Brokeback Mountain) to expose people to gay characters, other than the slanderous stereotypical ones that breed bigotry and hate speech. In many ways, television has been on the forefront of this, through shows like Will and Grace and even MTV’s Real World which almost always features at least one gay participant. Why? Because it makes for interesting television to see how people will respond. And truthfully, that’s really the only way to go about this. Force people into facing their fears, and asking themselves how they really feel about a particular sect of society. Are they truly offended? Perhaps, possibly because of religious beliefs. To which I ask you: Would your God have you speaking out of hatred toward these people, even if he condemned it? Possibly, but that would be the result of a fundamentalist movement in religion that is a topic for another day. The WWE (and now TNA) have an audience to follow the lead of other major venues. The days of crude humor and degrading characters have come to and end. Hey, I’m red-blooded American male. I can say openly that I used to perk up a little and pay attention when Bischoff would mention HLA. Its an impulse I’m partially ashamed, but its there. I do know however, that portrayals such as that, Billy and Chuck, and innuendo-based characters like The Dicks and the Heartthrobs do more harm than good. They’re not exactly breaking the bank on an entertainment scale, and from where I’m sitting, all they’re doing is making little kids go “EWW, is that how gay people act?” It is the responsibility of the fathers, mothers, and older brothers of the world to say “No Tommy its not” rather than say “Yes, and we hate those faggots!” Still, while I would hope that every impressionable mind watching has that voice of reason on the couch next to them, I know they don’t. And that’s why wrestling should take it upon themselves to rid us of such characters. Why is it that every male homosexual in wrestling is heel? Probably for the same reason that every female homosexual is face. It’s simply a matter of how the masses react. The WWE has shown the ability to not only predict how the masses will react however, but also change it. Characters, with very little character tweaking and a mere change in scenery and booking, have gone from loathed to loved in a matter of weeks. Why not take that talent, and use it create some sense of social nobility? When Eugene debuted, there was a firestorm of controversy, because people feared the WWE was going to make a mockery of people with mental handicaps (and perhaps they have). Their response however, was something to the effect of “Eugene is a noble story of a young man overcoming his handicaps to achieve his life goals” and was seen as an uplifting story in the handicapped community. Now, the WWE is faced with similar decisions with both Orlando Jordan and Trevor Murdoch portraying characters of a homosexual nature. How will they handle this? Will the WWE make a mockery of them? Create more “faggot” heels for the crowd to boo? Or will they attempt portray them in a positive light, and set an example for the crowd watching, in much the same way they did with Eugene, and the way they should have done with Muhammad Hassan? Can you imagine the scene, in which Orlando Jordan is met with a homophobic heel, perhaps a stable of them, only to be helped by John Cena? It’s a tough image to swallow, but its one that could have cultural ramifications, and send shockwaves throughout the entertainment world. What if Vince were to denounce such homophobic behavior and bigotry? Six hundred years ago people who declared that God did not exist were labeled heretics, persecuted and killed. Less than one hundred years ago, African Americans were looked down upon to the point that society had adopted a special set of rules and laws aimed directly at their governing. Homosexuality is societies new racism. What people consider to be “wrong” “immoral” “ungodly” or a “sin” will shift in a matter of years, probably in our lifetime. As has been said by men much greater than me, “I may disagree with what you say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it”. The same can be said for hate speech such as “homo” or “faggot”. Such types of speech are certainly allowable, but they serve no purpose other than hatred and ignorance, and I will use my freedoms to condemn you who abuse yours. Society continues to advance, both scientifically and socially in spite of the abounding conservatism in America (most of which is based on foreign affairs and not domestic ones anyway) and it is only a matter of time before, much like the travesties of racism have begun to correct themselves, that these injustices of this bigotry will right themselves as well. Until then, it is up to those in a position to influence others, to take it upon themselves to do so. A man should never underestimate the impact of his words on any one person, and a company should never underestimate the impact of theirs on any one million. Social responsibility or political activism is not the business of the WWE, but it should most certainly be a civic duty. Otherwise, the negative opinions that people hold toward one subject will continue to be expressed in a manner that perpetuates bigotry towards another. Such as that gay column, written by that faggot Random. Sanctimonious Son of a Bitch This week‘s SSOB award goes to all Shit that doesn‘t work.Bit vague I know, but I’m sick of it. The transmission in my truck went out last week, and that pissed me off. God, you’d think a ‘78 Ford would hold up longer than that. Then, the service provider for my radio station has gone fucking AWOL and nothing wants to upload to the server, this of course after I had deleted all the other material to make way for the new. Then there’s the manner in which my house is wired, which is cool as all hell half the time, and the rest of the time my roommate Flunky Fluff has got his techie shit all fuckered up, thus causing my Internet connection to go out in the middle of a major poker tournament drawing on a straight flush going into the river. (I obviously lost the tournament). Granted, I could just rename this the Mark Henry award, but I’m thinking broken technology pisses me off even more than he does these days. Cannon Fodder Everybody join in me in waving from the Nosebleed Section as we say “Buh-bye“ to The Dicks.. Fellas, whatever possessed you to take that gimmick I have no idea, but it was career suicide. You had about as much of a shot and making in the WWE as I do of outdrawing Tito. Cheap Pop We here at the Nosebleed Section would like to send out a “Hellzmuthafuckinyeah” to Xanman With the unfortunate retirement of YourAyatollah, Xan now moves into sole possession of “Random’s favorite columnist” here on Lop’s Main Page with his column “The Northern Star”. He also write a very entertaining column over at The Project entitledThe Compass Rose. Thanks for reading and replying with the author of the quote at the top Xan, your patronage is much appreciated. In Random Acts of Wrestling, readers of the Nosebleed Section write in every week with their lists of the ten biggest stories/performers/feuds in contemporary wrestling. If you would like to participate (and I wish like hell you would) please send your list (or as many as you like) by clicking HERE. 10) Vince v Shawn Hey, anything that inspires a video parody by Boss Foxx has got to be worth something. Those things aren’t easy to make man, and he coulda been playing poker. 9) Lashley My God, I still can’t get over how fast that guy moves. Was Lesnar that fast when he first started? My roommate says he was and the WWE slowed him down. I don’t know, but I know I love watching him work in the ring. His spear looks better than any I’ve ever seen, save for maybe Rhino’s Gore. 8) Ron “The Truth” Killings finally gets a push Thank god. I’ve only been begging for one for about ten columns now, which given my frequency of writing means about 6.2 years. TNA would be wise to utilize his talents both in the ring and on a mic, not to mention the appeal he has toward minority fan bases. 7) Matt Cappotelli The groundswell of support in response to his announcement, he is currently under treatment for brain Cancer, has been inspiring. Fans at the OVW taping reportedly broke down and cried as he surrendered the heavyweight title to begin treatment. Having almost been called up to the WWE last year before suffering a broken leg, and now this, Matt is truly one of wrestling inspirational stories. I truly hope that he is able to overcome this and one day grace our television screens as a successful member of the WWE roster. 6) Ric Flair What the hell as Flair done lately? My God people, get out of 1990.… 5) Bret Hart Speaking of nostalgia, the big announcement last week that he will be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2006 has all the Hart marks freaking out. I’m glad to see it happening, but I still don’t view this as the big return that everybody wants it to be. It ain’t happening kids. He’ll take his plaque, and say some goodbye’s and that’ll be that. 4) Edge Once again, Edge climbs near the top of the Random Acts. The guy really has been entertaining in the last few months, but I am seriously worried about his rumored Mania match with Foley. Don’t get me wrong, I love Foley-but it seems like such a dead end feud. Wouldn’t we be better up to build up RVD and feud him with Edge? 3) Christian From one brother to another, Christian Cage captured the NWA World Title from Jeff Jarret, who’d been bogarting the thing like a stoner in a circle. Pass that shit Jeff! I haven’t watched much TNA lately, and things like this really, really make me wish I had. As a result of this, I now know that I’m going to make it a point to watch Impact this week, which is the sort of thing that I’m pretty sure TNA was shooting for exactly. 2) Kurt Angle People are calling this current run of his “tweener” but I’m calling it a thrown together ugly ass face run. His character is aimless right now, but I suppose that’s what I get for watching wrestling for the character stories and not for the wrestling. All of you who enjoy ring work, continue to mark out. I’m going to continue watching… 1) Rey Mysterio Now we’re talkin. I hated that Orton jacked his ‘Mania spot, but it did lead toward what ended up being an awesome moment on Smackdown last week, when Teddy Long booked a triple threat at Mania. Rey has been busting his ass throughout all this, and even if it is sort of the bi-product of Eddie’s death, maybe strange things just happen for a reason and Rey was meant for this push. I only wish Undertaker would get added to the main event as well (I know, I know, shut up I’m not listening to you) as his current feud with Angle doesn’t deserve to be blown off, and I think a ‘Mania Fatal 4-Way could really be awesome. Well, I can only sit back now and await what I’m sure will be a shit storm of email and controversy to follow this column. If you managed to read the entire thing, than I invite you to email me and share your thoughts, and I will do everything in my power to respond to you. Disrespectful emails will likely go ignored. If you care to disagree, do so in an mature manner please. I’m sure many of you find an ounce of hypocrisy, that I allow “Brokeback McMahon” on my website, yet condemn behavior that promotes stereotypical behavior. Well, I’ll acknowledge there’s an inconsistency there, but to be honest, a parody video remix portraying two heterosexuals as gay, is hardly the same as presenting a gay character as immoral. One other thing I’d like to point out before I leave you today: I’m not gay. Nor am I even bisexual. Nor have I ever “experimented” as I’m sure some ignorant reader will assert. I am strictly heterosexual. That being said, I stand by all my comments today, and I hope that people have found this venture to the Nosebleed Section to be entertaining if not thought provoking. If not, then next time, get better seats. Click here to Email Randomguy#5!  Visit The Project, where you can check out creative writing, free music downloads, social commentary, internet radio, and a great group of posters in our forums.
|
|