The Wrath of Tito - Women, Women... Lots of Pretty WWE Women!, and more
Submitted by Mr. Tito on Wednesday, February 22, 2006 at 8:12 PM EST
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I'm late with a Wrath of Tito. Hectic week, last week, as I took on a side project for a friend's community program and just didn't seem to have the time to fully invest a solid 2 hours or so into a column. But I'm back this week, baby, and I have a good topic on my head that I wanted to do for a while. Watching RAW sparked it even further.
No, I'm NOT talking about Wrestlemania 22. I'm not talking about Triple H, Vince McMahon, Shawn Michaels, among other important things going on this time of year. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited for Wrestlemania. But the opening bout of RAW backed up the point I wanted to make today. Yes, it was the Women's Battle Royal. Granted, it was a LOUSY match. The WWE isn't listening to me when I say they had the right formula a while ago. Make Candice Michelle, Torrie Wilson, and Ashley as managers/friends and NOT wrestlers. When you make them wrestle, it cheapens the division, significantly. Trish Stratus, Victoria, and Mickie James are all tremendous performers and should be treated as such. When Victoria has to slow herself down to sell a lousy move by a Diva contestant, you have problems!
But that's not the point I was getting to... Just look at the women today in wrestling and then look at the women of over 20 years ago. That's right, hop into your time machines... Before, you had Sensational Sherri, Rockin' Robin, and the Fabulous Moolah (who will never retire). They were your more butch or overly athletic females. Now, I have zero problems with normal looking females, because if you go to your local Walmart, you're more likely to see someone looking like Rockin' Robin than Trish Stratus. HOWEVER, the women's division was NOT a draw. Fabulous Moolah can talk all she wants about how "great" of a wrestler she once was. The fact is that she was always a sideshow. She was NEVER a draw, and in my humble opinion, she was NEVER an influence on women entering professional wrestling. Cindy Lauper had a larger influence on professional wrestling than the Fabulous Moolah EVER did. That's not disrespecting Moolah, because to her credit, she's worked hard in the wrestling business. But as far as being the "Hulk Hogan" of women in wrestling, you should try calling her as the "Bruno Sammartino" of women's wrestling instead. Relevant to the past, but not an influence and someone who didn't increase the promotion's size.
Look during the mid 1990's when the WWE had "Alundra Blayze", or Medusa in WCW... Now, granted, Medusa was probably better looking than Moolah, Sherri, and Robin, especially in the body department. Seriously, guys, Medusa was hiding midgets! But the problem with Medusa was that she had a severe "butter face"... everything looked good, BUT HER FACE. Or, you could argue that she was a Cincinnati Bengal... good body, but ugly helmet! Take your pick! And then you had her opponents! Oh, the horror! They had her wrestle Bertha Faye and that ugly, and I mean ugly, Japanese wrestler named Bull Nakano. How on earth is that a draw? It never was and Medusa would go on to ridicule herself with a return to WCW. Thankfully, she's decent at Monster Truck driving.
With the Women's division, there are 4 HUGE Influences, with the first two being the biggest, by far. These 4 have helped make women's involvement with professional wrestling a drawing point. Look at the ratings right now... whenever there's a women's match, the ratings receive a decent bump. It's either the highest rated non-finish segment or it's very close. The Women's division is a draw because of it's fab four influences, and without them, especially the first 2, ESPECIALLY, we might still be bored with lame women's wrestling, as we saw with Rockin' Robin vs. Sensational Sherri. AND THE NERVE of the WWE to consider putting in Sensational Sherri Martel over the following influences, namely the first 3, for one is still in the WWE...
The Top Women's Influences in the WWE and Pro Wrestling ARE:
#1 Miss Elizabeth
#2 Sunny (Tammy Sytch)
#3 Sable
#4 Trish Stratus
And don't even give me Missy Hyatt, for you hardcore WCW fans who are ready to attack. What did she specifically do for WCW, other than coming and going whenever she pleased (no pun intended)? The 4 I mentioned are HUGE, especially the first two in Elizabeth and Sunny. Without those two changing the scope of how to market women in the WWE, who knows where we'd be in terms of women involvement in pro wrestling? Let's analyze each...
Miss Elizabeth is the one who knocked down the door. Without her, the other 3 influences wouldn't even have a job. She arrived into the WWE as her husband's manager during the mid 1980's. It's luck, because I worry that the WWE wouldn't have hired her had she not been one of their top prospect's wife. From the second she arrived into the WWE, the fans loved her. Fans openly wept whenever they saw Randy Savage treating her like crap and it made Savage an even bigger heel. While I'll always argue that Randy Savage was an awesome talent, I'll also argue that if he wasn't married to Elizabeth, who knows if that World Title would be around his waist after Wrestlemania 4? Before Elizabeth, we had our more butch looking female wrestlers, in addition to many male managers. With Elizabeth, it really pushed the idea of having a very beautiful female valet. Sure, it was tried before, but not at the success of Miss Elizabeth.
Fast foward to Summerslam 1988. The main event was the HUGE Mega Bucks (Andre the Giant and Ted Dibiase) vs. the Mega Powers (Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage), with Miss Elizabeth in the corner of the faces. The finish was something that will go down in history as a classic and potentially the biggest moment in women's WWE history. She provided a nice distraction to Dibiase and Andre the Giant... she took off her bottom and completely distracted Andre/Dibiase with her hot ass! Yeah, you look back at it now, considering we've had many Bra & Panties matches, it doesn't look like much... BUT, to many young males growing up, this was a lot of female skin to see at a wrestling event! This opened the door to forever let females show off their bodies on WWE television. This finish made her an even bigger sensation and posters of her were beginning to sell like hotcakes!
Look at Wrestlemania 5. Yes, Savage vs. Hulk Hogan was a HUGE match. But what sparked the feud? What was a side story of that feud? Miss Elizabeth. The fact that there were questions of "whose corner would she be in" for that match was huge. Her feuds afterward with Macho Man/Sherri Martel were huge. When Savage retired against the Warrior, who came to his aid? Elizabeth, and who can't tell me they don't remember the Summerslam wedding? After that wedding, it was smooth sailing for Savage, as he could play the face defending his BEAUTIFUL wife against the likes of an evil Jake "the Snake" Roberts (AWESOME feud) and then Ric Flair ("she was mine before she was yours", in reference to the classic doctored photos).
The point is that Miss Elizabeth opened the door for Women to not only be incredibly sexy on WWE television, but to have a prominent role within the show. Fans cared about her deeply and if the internet were available in its size back then, she would have been the #1 download, no doubt. But my next female was the #1 download when the internet came out in large quantities...
Sunny, or real name Tammy Sytch, was a gigantic influence and she opened the door wider after Elizabeth. Nobody saw it coming, either. She debuted as the manager of Skip and they were the "Body Donnas". Her hot body quickly gained attention and her character, with Skip, really did nothing special on the midcard. She did a little mic work and wiped down Skip (or her real life boyfriend, the late Chris Candido) with a towel. That was it. But the fans saw how gorgeous she was in what was just a regular spandex suit. Seriously folks, look how incredibly hot she was back in the mid 1990's. Her looks, and I would say to a degree, her charisma, won fans over. Soon thereafter, she was getting more attention on the shows, managing different teams (usual the tag champs), and she was featured in vignettes wearing close to nothing.
She was the first major marketed female. While Miss Elizabeth could sell a poster or 2, Sunny was pushed hard through marketing and sold lots of posters, t-shirts, calendars, you name it. She was completely the "it" girl and she arrived at the right time for the WWE. The internet came into play during the mid 1990's and she was one of the top downloaded females at that time, besides porn. And while Sunny didn't last long in the WWE, her role and marketability enabled the WWE to hire Dustin Rhodes's wife at the time, Marlena (or Terrie Runnels) and to hire Mark Mero's wife at the time, Sable (or Rena Mero). Marlena was popular in her own right, but she didn't take it as far as Sable...
Sable was huge because she took Sunny's momentum, which again, Sunny left too early, in my mind, to further capitalize on a good thing. Sable rode the Sunny wave and took it further. Sable became the WWE's first real riské female. Sunny was tapping into it, as she posed often in bikinis and did some raunchy segments, but Sable took it further. Sable first started with the dominatrix theme, but once her husband turned heel, things got crazy and quick! Her played the role of "protective husband", somewhat like Randy Savage during the 1980's. However, he couldn't stop Sable from showing the fans the goods. The potato sack incident comes to mind, as Sable showed how "big" she really was. And who could forget the painted hands bikini? Sable further continued the internet downloads, but her biggest influence came later... (no pun intended).
Sable getting on Playboy was absolutely HUGE. I believe besides the Pamela Anderson issues, nothing sold quite like Sable in the 1990's. Her spread was enormous. It made her into an even bigger draw than she already was and she was a key role during 1998's WWE growth period. Her segments were highly rated. Oddly enough, she innovated something that the WWE still incorporates to this day: non-female-wrestlers wrestling. She was, by no means, a trained wrestler. However, she was Women's champion and defended it regularly against the likes of Luna Vachon, for example. It was huge and it gave the WWE ideas to put in many non-trained female wrestlers to this very day; just what we just saw on RAW! Sable soon developed an ego when success went to her head and was then deported from the WWE. What a mistake! "For those who want to be me and for those who came to see me...", we were definitely robbed of more riské moments from Sable due to, yet another, early departure.
And finally, Trish Stratus. Trish has been a fixture since 2000 and I believe she may be taken for granted. Does anybody realize how far along Trish has come? In 2000, she was a manager to Test and Albert. DID YOU HEAR ME?!? TEST AND ALBERT!!! After that, she continued with a non-wrestling role and was pivotal in storylines involving the McMahons. Who could forget that actual good match between Trish and Stephanie McMahon, a much forgotten match. It was a match that was first in the growing evolution of Trish Stratus, the wrestler. Her, you had a Barbie-doll looking female actually taking up professional wrestling with a severe amount of skill. The fact that she's so good has made the WWE sign a bunch of good looking females for Trish to feud with. Remember when the WWE hired a bunch of borderline models to train to become wrestlers and all of them failed to make it? The WWE has been cleaning up the indy feds lately for hot chicks with actual wrestling ability. The division is now being built around Trish, as previous attempts to push other females, Molly Holly and Ivory, have failed significantly. She's been champ for so long now!
Trish is the most featured female on the calendars, magazines, and DVD's... She's winning the WWE.com "Babe of the Year" for almost every year now. She's untouchable and the fact that the WWE is changing their hiring practices to build around her shows the influence she actually has. Let's face it, when the smoke clears, wrestling fans will say that Trish Stratus was a bigger wrestler than Fabulous Moolah. Based on athletic ability, I would suggest that Trish is better than Moolah. In fact, Stratus is better than Moolah, Mae Young, Rockin' Robin, Sensational Sherri, Bull Nakano, and Medusa. They all wish that they had not only the perfect looks of Trish, but the pure athletic ability, as well. Folks, think about where Trish came from. She was a fitness model from Canada. She has since become the biggest female in pro wrestling for the 21st Century. She has Playboy BEGGING her to do their magazine and the fans refusing to boo her when she's a heel.
These 4 women are extraordinary. By far, they are the biggest influence on the way women are used in professional wrestling. When we're all old farts and telling our grandkids about pro wrestling, Elizabeth, Sunny, Sable, and Trish Stratus will be names that will be brought up in a heartbeat. It makes you wonder how many more gorgeous females will become pro wrestlers just from idolizing Trish Stratus. The WWE women's division will only get better as long as Trish's influence keeps growing and growing.
Now, no disrespect to Sensational Sherri... but she's no sure-fire WWE Hall of Famer in comparison to Miss Elizabeth. I'm calling it now. GET MISS ELIZABETH INTO THE HALL OF FAME! It's bad enough that the WWE doesn't even recognize her ex-husband, Randy Savage, but to deny the one female who made women in the WWE what they are today, it's a crime. I'm sure the WWE really dislikes how she may have jettisoned to WCW. Maybe they don't like how she died in Lex Luger's home from substance abuse? But to deny your biggest female influence and one of the 1980's biggest draws (yes, I said it), it's a freakin' crime! Get Miss Elizabeth into the Hall!
On another note about the influences, please leave Tammy Sytch alone. I'm getting sick and tired of hearing the "Tammy was drunk/high at this indy show". I'm tired of that. I believe that more than half of it is badly exaggerated, while the rest is based on her past reputation. If she's such a problem with substances, then why do shows have her on the card? Sytch has been through enough to put up with the repetitive and unnecessary attacks.
On to other stuff...
~Apple Dumplings~
-If you're going to put in Eddie Guerrero so shortly after his death, then where's the Owen Hart Hall of Fame nomination? I'd argue that someone who DIED in the WWE ring and put in more quality WWE years than Eddie has more merit getting into the Hall of Fame. Not disrespecting Eddie, but he's only been around since, really, 2002. I don't count 2000 or 2001, for Eddie wasn't relevant there with the injury bug, lame Latino Heat storyline, and his personal problems. Owen, after his Blue Blazer gimmick, was great from 1994 and beyond. His career wasn't even close to being finished and his life was taken away from a stupid WWE stunt to one-up WCW for Sting's assention from the ceiling.
-Ashley broke her leg... what did I just get done saying above? Keep the non-wrestlers out of the ring! Let them bounce up and down on the outside!
-Does anybody really care if Byte This! leaves? I can't remember even caring about that show, with the exception of Shawn Michaels and Steve Austin using it as an outlet to vent about creative issues. That's it. From the time it was conceived, it's been a worthless addition to WWE.com. WWE long ruined that show by trying to protect it from any fan criticism or character breaking. I thought WCW Live was lame, but at least they let fans vent frustrations and wrestlers didn't stick to character. Byte This is just another hype product of the WWE machine and anybody who listened to it on a regular basis needs their heads checked.
Just heard this from a television show in the background and laughed my ass off while writing this column. Sounds like the George Lopez show: "Your business is so bad that people from the Katrina hurricane disaster are sending YOU money". So wrong...
-Another ECW Pay Per View is coming... Based on the way that the WWE has attacked a bunch of former ECW wrestlers for copyright infringement, how seriously will this PPV be taken by former ECW talent? Think about it, folks, guys from TNA are already pissed at the WWE from past dealings, but if you tie that into what the WWE did to the Dudleys, it should only domino from there. The WWE, for whatever reason, is absolutely begging Terry Funk to participate after he refused to work the WWE show last year. I can imagine that Funk had a lot of respect for ECW during his time, as they gave him a venue to keep wrestling his style and they crowned him champion. After the copyright attacks, do you honestly think that Funk might want to attend this WWE-style ECW event? If he does, it will be for a lot of money. Otherwise, it's going to be an ECW show consisting of mostly current WWE wrestlers and a few guys looking for easy paychecks. That's it. WWE has absolutely insulted the ECW brand with the troubles they started last year after One Night Stand and it will continue to snowball from there. Do you believe that a bunch of former ECW wrestlers actually enjoy that the WWE can release their ECW matches without those wrestlers receiving one dime?
-I suggest that the WWE just let Stacy Keibler go. She'll get bigger if the WWE tag isn't attached to her name. It's rather odd how columnists and television analysts say she's a wrestler, but she really isn't. Yeah, she's wrestled an occasional non-wrestler match, but she's more of a valet or on-air hot talent. The WWE has absolutely exhausted all of their use for her and upon her return, I really don't see how she'd fit in with the likes of Trish Stratus, Victoria, Candice Michelle, Mickie James, or Ashley. They fit the mold of professional wrestling, whereas Stacy has been away for so long, the business has passed her by. I sincerely hope that she wins Dancing with the Stars and I say that as a HUGE Jerry Rice fan. She would be presented with better opportunities getting into acting roles or some type of other on-air personality.
BUT, I also suggest that the WWE do whatever it takes to get the Rock back. Seriously, it would be a crime if this is the 2nd Wrestlemania in a row without the Rock!!!
-Props to me, props to me... I have defeated Day of Reckoning #1 for the Game Cube. I never really tried to beat that game like I have recently. I wiped it out, once I figured out a technique and created a more powerful wrestler. Before, I only played DoR as a multi-player, and let me tell you, no wrestling game compares to DoR on multi-player. For whatever reason, Randy Orton was BY FAR, the toughest wrestler to defeat on that game. It would take nearly 8-10 finishing moves to defeat him. Seriously. His charisma meeter, too, just kept shooting up and it probably took 3-4 times, each time, to defeat him in a match. Just wrong... It felt great, though, to unlock Bret "the Hitman" Hart upon defeating the game, as well as nice bonus create-a-wrestler points. It's a good game and I recommend getting it for the great price that it's listed at right now. I would get Day of Reckoning #2, but I'm burned out from DoR #1.
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