Take up thy wrestling boots and walk - Waiting for Superbowl XL? Why not warm up the numerals with YBTB IX!
Submitted by Pt2 on Sunday, February 5, 2006 at 9:33 AM EST





Welcome to the column that’s back causing mass destruction, NWO Wolfpac, more commonly known to the world as Take up thy wrestling boots and walk. I’m the columnist who once shared a can of diet Pepsi with Ed Leslie while watching an afternoon of Fly fishing in Montego, Pt2. Ok, that never happened, and frankly I’m quite glad. If there was a mass wrestling holiday to the Caribbean I wouldn’t have been fishing with Brutei, I’d have been with the Diva’s at the wet no-shirt contest. But that’s a completely different set of my neuroses to deal with.

Well, Superbowl XL is almost upon us, and what better way to warm yourselves up with some more healthy competition: with that in mind, I’d like to welcome you to YBTB IX!

The people who know both competitors won’t need any explanation as to why this is probably the greatest challenge we’ve ever put on in YBTB – and it is, make no mistake about that. So for those people who are only familiar with the YBTB Hulk Hogan than is Random Guy number 5, allow me to introduce you to the writer known as BC.

He’s probably written more columns with fantasy booking in them than anyone I’ve ever seen, and it’s safe to say that most of them are acclaimed by LOP contemporaries. He’s also recently earned his call up to the main page, and I encourage you to check out his latest column “Volume One of there will never be another mantaur.” As with all acclaimed bookers then, the question will be how well he adapts to the unique difficulties posed by YBTB. He will hope to do better than most, who honestly struggle.

That then, is the challenger. Making his debut in YBTB contests, from Florida, BC!

And what can we say about his opponent? The best way to do it now is to rattle off his statistics, because they are quite impressive.

He is undefeated in his last 4 YBTB contests.

He is the winner of the YBTB Royal Rumble.

He won his last contest by an average margin of 12%.

His average win margin for his entire current reign is 9%.

He has been the YBTB champion for the phenomenal period of 335 days, so far.

He is the only two time YBTB champion in its history.

Readers, I present to you, with a win-loss record of 4-0-1, the current, reigning and undisputed YBTB champion of the world, from St. Louis, Missouri, Random Guy #5!

If you’re familiar with the rules, skip on to the contest. If not, here is a reminder:



1. You have a word limit of 500 words per scenario.

2. Direct Dialogue is banned (You can paraphrase what the wrestlers say, but cannot give them specific words to say. You are working with pro’s, they should be able to give natural, live, unscripted promo’s).

3. Contestants must pay attention to stories that have gone before, and past relations between characters. For example, You cannot use HHH as a face without turning him face within your 500 words. You also cannot have The Rock and HHH on the same side without giving valid cause within your 500 words. This is important - you can lose points both from the Judge and Adjudicator for having holes in your storyline.

4. The winner will be the person to win 2 of the 3 scenario’s. In the unlikely event of a draw, the winner will be based on an aggregate score across the three scenarios.

5. Pt2’s decisions are final.

OK, without any further ado, lets get this thing started. The Champion will go first.

Scenario 1:

Scott Hall is to return to the WWE for one final run. Your Scenario must begin at Survivor Series and end at Summerslam with Hall’s retirement. You may only use the members of ONE brand active as of 20/01/2006, and Hall must hold at least 1 singles championship in your scenario.

RG5: At SummerSlam a vignette airs for the return of a WWE legend, a man who left
some of the greats of the business rolling in pain (as video is shown of
Diesel, Shawn Michaels, Brett Hart and others all laying helpless.)

The following night on Raw, another vignette airs echoing many of the same
sentiments. This time, the man is named as none other than the original
Razor Ramon (toothpick and all) and says that he is coming the next week on
Raw! This would be of course much to the fans delight, but Carlito is not
impressed, and says that Razor Ramon, he isn’t cool.

Ramon debuts the following week and gives a stirring account about how this
will be the return of the original bad guy, and that he’s gonna bring a
little old school back to the WWE. Carlito interferes, and says that Ramon
ain’t cool He left the WWF for WcW, and formed the N.W.O. Ramon explains
that he did this because Vince was a jackass, the money was better, and with
WCW he revolutionized the industry so that punks like Carlito could have a
job. A brawl ensues, and the two men go on to have a match at Unforgiven.

Also at Unforgiven, RVD goes heel in a violent, weapon filled attack on Ric
Flair, to win the WWE Intercontinental championship.

Following his feud with Carlito, Ramon goes on to enjoy a brief run with old
buddy Shawn Michaels, as the reminisce about the good old days, and tag team
upon occasion, of course mentioning the great ladder match that the two of
them pioneered. They often make comments about the stars of today who take
things for granted. This catches the ire of much of the younger talent,
particularly RVD who claim that it wasn’t Ramon and HBK that pioneered
hardcore, it was ECW, a company that he went on later to put on the map.

At Taboo Tuesday, the crowd votes and it is Ramon/Michales who defeat the
team of Carlito and RVD.

This paves the way for Survivor Series, where Ramon wins a #1 Contender to
the Intercontinental title tournament, going over his buddy Shawn Michaels
who was screwed by Carlito.

Ramon gives a promo one Raw where he admits he’s in his final run. He knows
that that no matter how high he climbs up that ladder, old age and
retirement are waiting for him at the top. He never worried about winning
the WWF title, because it was the Intercontinental that mattered. RVD grows
tired of this, and challenges that their match be in a ladder match. Ramon
gladly accepts. To add to the heat, Rob offers Ramon a drink, to which Ramon
then spends weeks explaining to fans how he overcame his demons and
alcoholism.

At Survivor Series, the original Razor Ramon wins the IC title from RVD in a
ladder match, and begins what will be the final run of his glorious career.

BC: Survivor Series: Carlito becomes Intercontinental Champion. Triple H becomes
WWE Champion.

Next night: During Carlito's Cabana, Scott Hall appears, demanding to know
why Carlito's ripping off his act. Carlito is speechless. Later, Triple H
finds Hall and asks him to party tonight to celebrate. Hall agrees but says
he needs to see Vince McMahon first about something he's always wanted to
do.

December RAWs: McMahon announces Hall will be returning to WWE for one night
to compete in his first-ever Royal Rumble. Carlito demands to know why Hall
has a spot and he doesn't. McMahon says if Carlito retains the I-C Title
over Hall, he'll take his spot.

Royal Rumble: Hall defeats Carlito but loses the Rumble to John Cena who
challenges SD's champion. Before the Rumble, HHH confronts Hall asking if he
plans on challenging him if he won. Hall replies no... unconvincingly.

Next night: Hall says the Rumble was the last thing to do before retiring.
He vacates the title which starts a midcard tournament. McMahon had told
Michaels the Rumble would be his last chance to get a title shot. HBK says
he belongs in the title match at 'Mania and would give up anything for it.
McMahon agrees to give HBK a title shot next week... with his career at
stake.

Next week: HHH and HBK wrestle to a no-contest after the ref is KOed. As the
show ends, it appears HBK's career is over.

March RAWs: McMahon says goodbye to HBK, but Michaels returns, revealing
that HHH didn't pin him so he's still around. HHH agrees to a 'Mania rematch
but states the referee problem will need fixing. Potential guest refs are
suggested, but Hall is the only name both feel comfortable with.

WrestleMania: Hall referees the "career versus title" match. McMahon
distracts him, enabling HHH to use the sledgehammer. Hall counts the pin and
HBK's career ends.

Next night: Replays show Hall his error and he overturns his decision, but
McMahon refuses to acknowledge it. HHH gloats that he used Hall to eliminate
Michaels. Hall attacks him, birthing a new feud.

Backlash: Hall faces HHH for the title and wins via disqualification.

May RAWs: A "Last Man Standing" rematch is set for Vengeance. The feud
continues via a series of promos in which Hall says the title was an
impossible dream that became possible.

Vengeance: HHH and Hall have a bloodbath which Hall seems poised to win...
until HBK strikes! Michaels returns and super-kicks Hall as both are getting
up, giving HHH the win.

July RAWs: HBK says Hall was behind the "screwjob" at 'Mania because he's
the only KLIQ member never to become champion (omitting Waltman to sell it).
Hall maintains he cost HBK the belt unintentionally but Michaels did it
purposefully. Because HBK's not under contract, the two cannot wrestle. Hall
agrees to put his contract up against Shawn... under familiar pretences.

SummerSlam: Michaels defeats Hall in a ladder match, winning his contract
and ending his career.


Pt2’s view: This is probably going to make me very unpopular, but hey, I’m here to make the unpopular calls when I have to: I don’t really like either of them. BC also seems to have fallen into the trap of putting Scott Hall into a ladder match with HBK, something I DON’T want to see, since he’s probably not going to be able to live up to their previous bouts. It’s reasonably constructed, so it won’t score *badly*, but it won’t get many if the man giving out the marks doesn’t like it. I’ll say 70%.

Random’s is also going to get slashed because of the presence of a ladder match. He’s not going to lose so many though, because of the presence of RVD as a heel, and the fact that Michaels is kept well away from the ladder match. I’d initially call it as a 75%.

HOWEVER

One of the harshest (and I think best) things of YBTB is that our contestants are not just allowed to forget things that have gone before in much the same way that WWE bookers are allowed to do. Although the WWE would have no problem about RVD and Carlito teaming so soon after a feud, it does break the rules of this competition. Random in no way explains WHY they would team without killing each other.

Harsh maybe…. But it’s in the rules. And a 5% deduction means that the first scenario is a tie, which could make the rest of this competition VERY close.

Lets move onto Scenario 2.

Vince McMahon calls you into his office, and announces he expects a complete overhaul of the Cruiserweight division, in an effort to counter TNA’s X Division. You will allowed one match and two segments on every weeks show, and Vince expects the Cruiserweight division to be a bankable part of the show by Wrestlemania – 5 weeks away. To assist you in this, Vince will allow you to move any Cruiserweight on the roster not currently holding a championship, and will allow you the cash to fund the salary of three new wrestlers.

In short, make the Cruiserweight division a draw in 5 shows, using only one match and two segments per show. You may use any cruiserweight in the company, but if you use a RAW cruiserweight you must explain their move to Smackdown on air. You may also bring in any 3 cruiserweights not currently employed by the WWE.

RG5: Week 1 -Smackdown

Vince comes out at the beginning of the show and announces that at the he is
joining forces with America’s other major wrestling companies in an effort
to help raise money for the rebuilding of America’s Gulf Coast. They’ll be
destroying bodies to rebuild cities in a cruiserweight invitational showing,
and the action is starting tonight, as all of the participating
cruiserweights have had their leashes taken off- and the WWE’s
cruiserweights will be flying high again, in an attempt to show the world
they are the best.

Later in the show, Vince is seen backstage talking with Teddy Long, where he
says that while he hopes the WWE wins the series of matches and proves to be
the best, the real goal is to raise money for the city of New Orleans and
other damaged territories. He also promises a huge surprise to kick things
off.

The main event rolls around, and its Gregory Helms defending his Cruiser
Weight title against…..AJ Styles! Styles hit’s the Styles Clash, but Helms
is saved by TNA cast off, Kid Kash. Helms wins after the interference.

Week 2- Impact

TNA announces they’re intentions to join “other prominent wrestling
companies” in the charity venture, but also fails to mention them by name.
They hold a match in which Chris Sabin beats Paul London. Afterward, Mr. TNA
Christopher Daniels attacks London with Sabin.


Week 3 - Raw

Vince announces at the beginning of the show that this is not merely a
Smackdown only event. The idea of this invitational is to raise money for
the gulf coast rebuilding. That being said, his men will not be outdone by
anybody, so Royal Rumble winner Rey Mysterio will be in action tonight.
Later, we see a battle of inverted swinging rope kicks, as Rey takes on
Amazing Red. Mysterio wins, but is then attacked by Styles, Daniels, and
Red.

Week 4 -Impact

TNA announces that charity donations have now reached the million dollar
mark, and TNA is getting the better of “that other promotion”. They book an
Ultimate X match in which Styles goes over Sabin, Kash, and Helms. A full
scale brawl erupts at the end, as Mysterio and London join in along with
Daniels and Red.

Week 5 -Smackdown

In an dramatic contest to determine the winner, an elimination tag match is
held. The team of Helms, Kash, London, and Mysterio (still bouncing between
shows determining who to take his title match against) defeats Styles,
Daniels, Red, and Sabin. The finish comes when Helms is left against
Daniels, and Styles rushes in for the save, but swerves and crushes Daniels.

Vince then announces that the invitational has risen nearly two million for
charity, which is great. But the better news is that he has just signed
three new cruiserweights for Smackdown- AJ Styles, Chris Sabin, and Amazing
Red! TNA has been had by the ruthless Vincent Kennedy McMahon!


BC: SD#1
Kid Kash is in the ring, when Jamie Noble, along with new girlfriend Becky
The Farmer's Daughter (Becky Bayless), makes his return. Noble reminds fans
of his inheritance of which he only has 100,000 dollars left. He offers that
for the cruiserweight title. Kid says the belt is worthless in a
quasi-shoot, then lives up to his name and agrees to take the cash. Teddy
Long comes out, reminding him DiBiase tried that once and it didn't work. He
Vacates the belt and tells Kash if he'd treat SD gold like that, he'd be
better off on RAW. Long orders the first-ever "WWE Fatal 4-Way Tournament"
to begin.

Paul London helps Spanky to eliminate The Dicks, then pins him to win the
fatal 4-way.

SD#2
MNM get rid of Psicosis early. As they prematurely celebrate, Super Crazy
rolls them both up and wins to qualify!

Super-fan Scott Jackson (Jack Evans) is backstage, meeting Rey Misterio Jr.
Misterio learns he is one of Jackson's favorite wrestlers. Noble and Becky
interrupt, making fun of poor Jackson's clothes.

SD#3
Gregory Helms appears, saying he'd heard Long had traded Kash to RAW for
their best cruiserweight. Long confirmed that and told Helms to prepare for
his match.

Rey confronts Noble, saying they perform for fans, not themselves. Noble
says he doesn't care about the fans because fans don't care about cruisers.
Rey, having started in the cruiserweight division, says he hopes Knoble
loses next Friday because he'd make a terrible champion.

Helms is surprised to learn Long indeed traded Kash for the top RAW
cruiser... Chavo Guerrero Jr.! Chavo pins Nunzio while Helms pins Funaki.
Chavo then pins Helms.

SD#4
London, Crazy and Chavo sit ringside for the match between Teddy Hart,
Scotty 2 Hotty, Simon Dean and Jamie Knoble. Knoble eliminates Dean and
Hart, then taunts the men ringside enabling Scotty to pin him! Knoble
attacks Scotty with a brainbuster on his 100,000 dollar briefcase! Scotty's
opponents rush in, but Becky, Knoble and the briefcase equalize things. Rey
to the rescue! As the two brawl, Long comes out. He announces the Fatal
4-Way at 'Mania is off! Instead, Knoble's briefcase will hold the belt and
all six will battle for it in Money In The Bank II!

Later, Rey checks on Scotty, whose neck is re-injured. Jackson joins them and
tells Scotty he knows he can pull through and compete at 'Mania. Jackson
Apologizes to Rey but says that Scotty winning is an even better 'Mania moment because it's where dreams come true.

WRESTLEMANIA
After the opener, Jackson checks on Scotty once more. Scotty says he can't
compete, putting over the danger of it. Jackson is crushed, but Scotty
offers him his spot, saying if he won, it'd show just how dreams come true
at 'Mania.

Later, Jackson comes out dressed as Scotty. Rechristened Scotty 2 Spotty, he
joins Chavo, London, Crazy, Knoble and Misterio for the wildest spotfest in
WWE history with 100,000 dollars and the title at stake.




Pt2’s view: Well, what to say about this one? I’ll start with the champion.

Odd, to say the least. I can’t say I’m a fan of it, in all honesty – The key thing that jumps to my mind is that the TNA guys don’t work for you, and how can you book someone that doesn’t work for you – the idea is that you are hired by McMahon, and surely TNA, even in a charity event, would book TNA shows. There are some factors that bring it back up, for sure – the surprise effects of them will get reasonable results in drawing, which was a key part of the scenario – but I don’t think they can make up for the lack of realism and the fact that half the events occur on a show that over half the audience you are trying to appeal to don’t watch. It’s going to be a 56% for this.

BC plays it much more solid. Sure, it’s not groundbreaking by any stretch, but he brings in Hart, Bayless and Evans well, brings the Cruisers up a bit, takes advantage of the current high profile of Mysterio…. While he doesn’t turn it into the x-division, I’d say he satisfied all the criteria well enough to win this scenario with a mark of 68%.


So BC takes the lead on Scenario 2. With only one Scenario left, it appears to keep his title, Random will have to win Scenario 3 by over 12% to retain his championship.


Scenario 3:

Book a series of matches on both Japanese and American soil between ROH champion “American Dragon” Bryan Danielson and the owner of Kaientai dojo, Taka Michinoku. The series must be concluded in a manner that allows both parties to look like stars, and in time for Danielson to defend his championship against Austin Aries in 8 weeks time.


RG5: During an ROH show, wrestling legend Taka Michinoku arrives to a clamoring
fanfare. He announces that in an effort to bridge the gap between wrestling
cultures in North American and Japan, and to demonstrate the superiority of
Far East wrestling, he is challenging ROH champion Bryan “American Dragon”
Danielson to a best of seven series to take place on both continents.

Unlike a standard “invasion” type angle, other wrestlers agree to stay out
of the way and let the two men speak for their respective companies.
Danielson talks about the influences Michinoku on the business, and that
portions of his own style have been adapted from that of Michinoku.

Taka meanwhile, is not nearly as complimentary of his American counterpart,
to the point that he begins to acquire some of the typical anti-American
heel heat during Roh Shows. This only furthers his belief that Americans and
American fans know nothing of professional wrestling, and he says repeatedly
in promos that it’s a crying shame the world is cursed to being polluted by
American styles. He claims that a combination of Japanese and Mexican Lucha
Libre is far superior, particularly when combined with elements of Western
European or Canadian chain wrestling. It is when wrestling becomes saturated
with ‘entertainment’ and posing that it becomes a bastardized form of its
prior greatness.

The two men compete in a series of matches of increasing violence. What
started as a simple scheduled for one fall match escalates on through
submission matches, hardcore matches, and ladder matches. Through this, Taka
maintains an aura of respect but is nonetheless inflammatory towards
American wrestling. Danielson meanwhile, has nothing but admiration for the
man, and considers it to be an honor to carry this series.

Until the final match.

Taka announces that the final match in their best of seven series will take
place on Japanese soil in a traditional Japanese death match. Danielson
claims this to be an unfair advantage, and is unwilling at first, but is
still riding high off his victory in the states in the sixth match, a two
out of three falls hardcore.

The two men battle to a bloody mess, filled with respect and honor. As
American Dragon wins in Japan, he is assaulted by Austin Aries, who quickly
finds himself on the bloody end of stiff kicks from Taka. Michinoku and
Danielson shake hands, and acknowledge the globalization of wrestling, each
man showing respect for the other. It is collectively the brash nature of
Aries, that they despise.

BC: WEEK#1: NEWSWIRE
The "triple-shot weekend" is in six weeks and ROH announces TAKA Michinoku
will make his RoH debut. Michinoku will face "The Fallen Angel" Christopher
Daniels. RoH Tag Champions Austin Aries & Roderick Strong say they'll
elevate the RoH Tag Titles to main-event level. They offer Bryan Danielson
and anyone he chooses a title shot.

WEEK#2: ALL_JAPAN RESULTS
Michinoku defeats Danielson in a heralded match. Clips are posted on RoH's
website to promote TAKA's RoH debut.

WEEK#3: NEWSWIRE
RoH officials announce TAKA's debut will be a title match. After pressure
from the fans as well as the champion, TAKA will bypass the protocol for
securing a title match.

WEEK#4: RoH RESULTS
Jay Lethal announces he joined The Rottweilers, stating he's being
overlooked by RoH. He says Michinoku's "free pass" indicates RoH doesn't
care about RoH stars. He notes The Rottweilers only tried to end his career
because he's a serious threat. Danielson interrupts, saying RoH cares about
fans and fans want to see TAKA/AmDrag 2. He says if Lethal wants a shot, he
just need ask and grants him one. Danielson defeats Lethal then The
Rottweilers attack. Luckily, Generation Next makes the save before Lethal
and Homicide deliver the Cop Killa/double stomp combo that nearly ended
Lethal's career.

WEEK#5: NEWSWIRE
With the triple-shot weekend just one week away, cards are confirmed. They
look as such:
FRIDAY NIGHT SHOW: Danielson versus Michinoku 2; Aries, Strong, Evans &
Sydal vs. Lethal, Homicide & Havana Pitbulls in Steel Cage Warfare
SATURDAY NIGHT SHOW: Danielson & ??? vs. Generation Next; Lethal vs. Samoa
Joe in a Fight Without Honor
SUNDAY NIGHT SHOW: Michinoku vs. Daniels; Lethal & Homicide vs. RoH Tag
Champions

WEEK#6: TRIPLE-SHOT WEEKEND RESULTS
FRIDAY: Rottweilers defeat GenNext after the Cop Killa/double stomp on Evans
from atop the cage. They attempt it on Sydal, but Samoa Joe breaks it up.
Danielson and Michinoku wrestle to a 60-minute time-limit draw then shake
hands.
SATURDAY: Joe destroys Lethal in a bloodbath. Rottweilers don't try to help.
Danielson declares his respect for TAKA and asks him to be his partner. The
two do well but lose when Aries pins Danielson. The four shake hands and
Danielson tells the crowd that the tag titles are as prestigious as his own
and he hopes to someday win them.

SUNDAY: Michinoku defeats Daniels, then Danielson congratulates him. He says
on TAKA's last night in RoH, he wants to give him another title shot.
GenNext defeats Lethal & Homicide prompting The Rottweilers to attack. Joe
and a returning Colt Cabana rescue them and Lethal is again busted open and
abandoned by Rottweilers. In the title match main event, Danielson defeats
Michinoku.

WEEK#7: NEWSWIRE
TAKA thanks fans for their warm welcome and hopes to return soon. RoH
officials declare that given his pinfall over Danielson on Saturday, Aries
is next in line for a title shot.

WEEK#8: RoH CARD
Danielson vs. Aries; Joe & Cabana vs. Lethal & Homicide; Evans, Strong &
Sydal vs. Pitbulls and a returning Low-Ki

Pt2’s View: Very hard to pick a winner here. Both very decent efforts. In fact, I think BC’s superior knowledge of RoH may even have been a handicap, since he bases much more of it in America than Random, and he spends more time talking of actual RoH feuds to paint an all round picture of the show instead of concentrating on his specific challenge. Unfortunately for him, he’ll get no extra points for that and can only be judged on the things relevant to Michinoku/Danielson, and using them as a springboard for another feud doesn’t really qualify. He won’t be penalised….. but it’s a waste of words. 76%

Random on the other hand doesn’t waste words. He gets 7 matches in, and they vary in location. He works Michinoku as a heel in America, which is almost certainly the best way to go from what I’ve seen of Michinoku’s work. And I think they both come out of it looking stronger in his, and it also puts more emphasis on the Aries vs. Danielson match.

So I think it was better. But I don’t think it’s 12% better. 82% score for Random.

Which I believe puts the score at 1-1, and on points difference, Random 208, BC 214, which means by the second smallest margin in YBTB history, BC wins.

So by the powers entrusted to me by the YBTB commission, we hereby give notice that BC is the recognized Undisputed YBTB champion, and that he is the fourth person to hold this prestigious championship.

I’d like to thank both of our participants for competing today. I’d like to thank Random for his fantastic reign as champion, and I hope he’ll come back and compete again some day. I’d like to wish BC the best of luck for his reign.

If you wish to contact any of the competitors about today’s contest, they can be reached at the following addresses:

BC: onemillionbc@hotmail.com
RG5: randomguy_316@hotmail.com

Or alternatively, contact me at takeupthywrestlingboots@gmail.com

Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed this contest. We’ll be back with another in between parts 2 and 3 of “The Appraisal”, which will soon be returning to LOP!

Until then, take care

Pt2









Brooke Hogan Hanging from a Tree at the Beach! WOW!

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