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Submitted by Xan on Monday, January 30, 2006 at 10:55 PM EST
 "Sometimes I get crazy and it makes a big scene, but when I hit 21, I want to stand up and scream." Holy fucking shit! Rey Mysterio won the Royal Rumble last night. Pretty awesome stuff, if you ask me. I'd be jumping for joy, were I him. Despite all the rumors going around that the winner of the rumble may not necessarily get the main event spot at Wrestlemania, that's the early feel-good moment of 2005. Personally, I've got to believe that Rey Rey is going to face Kurt Angle for the World Title at Wrestlemania. Sure, it could still turn out to be Randy Orton, but there is still plenty more for Orton to do. Some kind of 3-way match between he, Benoit, and Booker T over the United States Title seems far from unlikely and after The Crippler and Eddie Guerrero got their time in the sun at Wrestlemania XX, it's nice that it looks like Rey's on the way towards getting his now. It's a good thing, too, since back in November I predicted he'd be World Champion within the next 12 months. But, one has to wonder why these excellent wrestlers seem to only get the major title reigns as a sort of lifetime achievement award, while John Cena just became the standard bearer for the second time. I believe the reason that Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, and Rey Mysterio didn't get the kind of push their talents demanded in the WWF is because of their size. "No, really, Xan? You're a certifiable genius. There's no way anyone else would ever have thought of that." I'm not trying to bring a revelation to the table here, folks, but I do feel I have to point out that Vince may be starting to soften on this stance. While I certainly feel Chris Benoit was an excellent champ and earned himself another run at the top with his performance, Eddie's title reign was far from distinguished(God bless him) due really to no fault of his own. Despite this, it's apparent that Guerrero was going to get a second shot as World Champion, and he probably died less than 24 hours before that was set to happen. I think there are many reasons why Batista was going to drop the strap to his friend, Eddie, but I think first and foremost it's because Eddie's personality and wrestling ability were much bigger than his actual size. Who else does this description fit? Well, the man who I believe the next World Champion--Rey Mysterio--obviously, but it also fits guys like Shane Helms and Chavo Guerrero who will probably never get their big chance. It isn't a big shock, really, that these men are either getting late chances or no chance at all is because they, along with Chris Jericho, Dean Malenko, Super Crazy, Juventud Guerrera, Psichosis, and Billy Kidman were all stars in WCW's cruiserweight division. While it's true that Vince McMahon eventually instituted his own light-heavyweight division, it wasn't because he had any real love for the idea and he never put any passion, effort, or money into it. He simply saw that WCW was succeeding with their attempt and wanted to give his fans less of a reason to change the channel--his version of the division failed miserably because he didn't know or care how to market it and got bargain basement talent to fill it. When Brian Lawler is one of your cornerstones for any division, you've got serious problems. Now, what if there was a wrestler that combined a height that Vince has found some success with before--say around 6' tall and around 230-240 lbs, yet had a cruiserweight's ability abiding in this slightly larger frame? If there was a guy like this, surely Vince wouldn't hesitate to push him towards the World Title, right? I mean, it worked with Bret, Shawn, and Macho, and Ric Flair is in the upper midcard in his late fifties. So, surely Vince wouldn't want to pass on the chance to create the next Showstoppa, right? "I'm filthy rich with laughter, I'm too big for the room. You know from two stories up a Zenith makes a big boom." I ain't talking about the Big Show here. Dude's huge, and I've got nothing against him. I even argued in a fairly recent ETA that he should get the WWF Title, but you can't really say the WWF is wasting his talent. He's always at least in the upper midcard, and the few times he hasn't been shown to be a dominant force it's been because he's been using his decent comedic talents. The idea that surfaced last fall to make him a special attraction similar to how Andre was used is a good one and I hope things progress towards that. There's no reason in the world not to do it, and as a side note, I believe Smackdown has its own variation on this idea in the form of Rey Mysterio. The guys differ greatly in size, but Rey is already a huge draw for the blue brand(always has the highest rated quarter hour segments), and I believe that would only increase if he was pushed as being above the World Title because of his immense ability. So, yeah, Rey and the Big Show could both really help the WWF if they were used as special attractions and in decidedly different ways than "normal" competitors--hell, maybe I'll do a column on it some day--but, neither of them is my true focus here. Unlike Vince McMahon, I care not for the size or lack of it. I'm talking strictly talent. Which must mean that I'm back on the RVD bandwagon, right? No. Ever since I first watched him perform, I've considered Rob Van Dam one of the best wrestlers in the world, and I truly hope that he's going to become a force in the World Wrestling Federation, but I don't consider that possibility likely. Vince has had chance after chance to cash in on RVD's popularity, and he's always eschewed it. I have no idea if I spelled that word right, but I've always liked using it verbally, so I gave it a shot. And, no, I'm not talking about "it". Van Dam was one of the guys that kept ECW afloat; in a lot of ways, he truly was their whole fucking show at one point; but, unfortunately, the WWF has never really let him become that. His emergence was the lone bright spot of the Invasion angle, and his performances during it and since have all been typically phenomenal--hey, how about that contradiction in terms?--but, I believe he's gone as far as he's going to in the WWF. Of course, in an organization that just let Edge be its champion for three weeks, I guess you can never say never, but I believe that as great as Rob Van Dam is--and as much as I'd like him to frog splash his way to the WWF Title-- he's not going to be a main eventer for the McMahons ever again. No, the guy I'm thinking of has been living the wrong theme music over the last few weeks. Since Bret Hart first got me into watching professional wrestling, there's very few guys that made me stand up and take notice the first time I watched them perform in a single's environment. In fact, I can count them on one hand. Here they are: Rob Van Dam, AJ Styles, Low Ki, Samoa Joe, and Shelton Benjamin. I admit that when I first watched the mis-named World's Greatest Tag Team perform, I didn't understand where all the praise for Benjamin came from. There were a lot of compliments heaped on him that I just didn't get. When I watched the team go, I always felt that Charlie Haas was the better of the two. The dragon-whip was a bitchin' move, but other than that I thought Haas had Benjamin's number. Maybe it was because his style seemed so similar to Benoit and I've ever been a Wolverine mark. In any case, ever since Shelton was transferred to the RAW brand his single's talent has been clear. He's one of the most dynamic performers I've ever seen. However, ever since the latest draft between shows, his theme music has seemed like a joke. Ain't no stoppin' him? Carlito's owned him all over the map and he's been pinned on Heat several times. Even worse, this new angle they're running with him makes me think he needs to call Ernest Miller and see if he can't borrow The Cat's music. Shelton Benjamin is way too good of a performer to have this Momma gimmick thrust upon him. <"It's hard to get around in a six-foot town; when you're ten-feet tall everything is so small. I'm always bumpin' my head, I'm way too long for the bed. It's hard to get around in a six foot town." I'm not going to say that this new idea to get Shelton over is demeaning, or that a white wrestler would never have been asked to participate in an angle like this. The truth of these statements is overwhelmed only by the obviousness. My friend, BC, in his debut main page column last week said that wrestling is racist and has always been. When I look at the shit involving Shelton and his "Mama", it's hard to argue with him as much as I want to. The fact is that Shelton Benjamin is probably the most exciting wrestler in the world right now. Calm down, TNA guys, I love AJ and Joe, too. I already said that, but the fact is that I believe Shelton's more dynamic--more explosive--than either one of them. He doesn't get to work with excellent wrestlers like the Chris's Daniels and Sabin very often, yet he's adept at standing out in nearly every match he's in. Fuck, he held his own with Shawn Michaels in one of last year's top 5 matches. Last year at around this time it was evident Shelton Benjamin was going places. In April of 2004 he had that excellent feud going with Triple H, and he actually ended up defeating him 4 consecutive times in televised matches. You can look it up. For all the IWC rides him, Triple H is one of the most complete wrestlers in the world, and for him to go out there and help Benjamin look like gold was admirable as all hell; especially coming on the heels of dropping the World's Heavyweight Championship to Chris Benoit. Shelton rode those high profile wins to a pretty good feud against Randy Orton, who he put over, but still ended up smelling like roses in the process. Then, when the fans voted him in to face Chris Jericho for the Intercontinental Title, the WWF decided to go with it and see where it lead. Where it lead was a reign of over 8 months, and incredible popularity for Benjamin despite being largely ignored by the writers, bookers, and announcers. But, then he disrespected a road agent and got sent to the bottom of the pile. What utter bullshit. Shelton Benjamin is more than capable of being the future of RAW. Yeah, he doesn't come out and give great promos, but that didn't stop the fans from jumping on his bandwagon, did it? What won out were his amazing abilities. The guy's definitely a heavyweight, yet he can fly as well as most of the cruiserweights in the world. That's springboard, top rope blockbuster of his is amazing; his inverted hurricanrana? Likewise. He's made the Stinger Splash look like a devastating move again, and the Dragonwhip is even more spectacular than it is contrived. Make no mistake about it, Shelton Benjamin has all the tools to make WWF's fans stand on their feet in awe, and the only reason he isn't is because the writers and bookers have gotten as lazy on him as they have on everyone else. All Benjamin would need to be a star, in my estimation, is to wrestle the way he already does--except more of it and over longer matches. That, and a new nickname. I believe it was Jim Cornette who coined the phrase "He's not quick, he's sudden." If there's a wrestler in the world who fits that description better than does Benjamin, I haven't seen him. That's why I started attaching that phrase in front of his name occasionally close to a year ago, and I honestly don't get why the writers haven't fucking figured it out yet. Can't you imagine the WWF crowd on their feet in anticipation of watching "Sudden" Shelton Benjamin getting ready to put together another stand-out performance in front of them and hit someone with his top-rope springboard clothesline(Sudden Impact) or finish them off with the best exploder(Sudden Death) in the business? Of course you can. Hopefully, pretty soon, you won't have to. Benjamin's talent is so bright that it shines like the sun, how can even the famed glass ceiling of the WWF hope to contain that heat? That will conclude today's voyage on The Northern Star. Please e-mail any feedback to XanManX@hotmail.com, with the words "Northern Star" or "feedback" in the subject line. The Northern Star will rise again in 7 days. Until then, Long days, pleasant nights EXCLUSIVES: Top 10 Trish Stratus Moments, Top 10 WCW Cruiserweight Matches, MORE!
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