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Submitted by Wevv Mang on Monday, January 16, 2006 at 7:43 PM EST
Ridin’ With The Bossman – Kurt Angle Cheats Death! Greetings! Welcome to another edition of Ridin’ With The Bossman. Welcoming the dawn of a new era as we celebrate the impending birth of Steph and H’s child. Are you ready for a two-year-old World Champion? Be ready. So, how bout that TV this week? Just crazy huh? We have live sex on one show, and the removal of Mole-Chick’s mole on another. Yes, Smackdown was a landmark show. A historical show. Not for the Boogeyman antics, but for reason totally unrelated, but that will make sure that the show is remember long after the next one. Sorry the column is late. Took time out to watch the Bears game, and after a heartbreaking loss to this Bear’s fan, well, it took a little time to recover. Thanks for a great season Bears, and there’s always next year. Man, I sound like a Cubs fan. Took a look for Wrestlemania tickets. Man, those prices are outrageous. $150 for rafter seats with a nice view of the support structure. $4,000 for seats that are 3 rows deep on the floor. And that’s low. PPV is looking good right now. Unless Wevvy still has some pull, after three years and little to no contact. Yeah right, that will happen. But still, miracles do happen from time to time. It might be possible to grab seats in one of the corporate boxes. Since companies tend to own most of them. I do know some one who works technically for UPN, Some one might know some one who can get those seats. Let’s stop dreaming and get to the TV, shall we? WWE TV – The Series New Year’s Revolution Recap into courtesy of Carl Walsh Didn’t see the show. Saving my money for the Royal Rumble. But some important things did happen on the show. Not just an Elimination Chamber Match, but some other noteworthy events. Ric is still IC champ. I know, it’s easy to forget, but the belt was defended and Ric won. By DQ. Angle hates black people. Angle would like to beat up Jesus. I didn’t know Angle was Jewish. -That’s a joke people. A bad joke, but still a joke. Trish and Mickie did not turn into HLA. Hurricane Jobbed to King. Shelton’s Momma went comedy, and flirted with Big Vis. They had a match and Shelton won. Triple H beat Show with a kick to the groin. Bra and Panties Gauntlet had the old broads come in and strip. Right there, I’m glad I didn’t get this PPV. Cena won the Chamber Edge then used his money in the bank to beat up Cena and take the belt from him, AFTER the chamber match. I didn’t read too much about this PPV in many columns or posts. Well there was Davey's PPV wrap up, but the idle chatter didn’t seem to be really there. Of course, the very next night, we had something bigger to talk about than Edge becoming World Champion. Raw Recap info courtesy of Carl Walsh Cena won the chamber, but lost to the title. New champion is going to speak tonight. The Money In The Bank stipulation has been invoked! Joey Styles is getting yelled at, and the only guy with a secure contract in the booth is King! Old Broads showed skin on a PPV, making fans really glad they forked out $40 to see that! Live Sex has been rumored! Edge is back with his wife! Vince is unhappy with Cena! Steph is pregnant! Yes folks, anything can happen! It’s live TV! The name of the town is Hershey, for crying out loud! Cena Speaks! And we start off the show with the former champion. And he doesn’t talk about balls. And it works great. He even tells the fans to boo him. Interesting move. Cena tells them to kiss his ass. Well, he had to mention male private parts some how. Lita then shows up and talks, and talking is not her strong suit. Yep, live sex tonight. What does that mean? I have no idea, since you know they can’t really show sex on TV, even on cable. So, probably some goofiness. But who’s going to run in? Cena most likely. We’ll see. Ashley vs Stratus First match. And it’s not pretty. Oh, the chicks are, but the wrestling is not. It takes time to get good. Trish didn’t happen over night, she kept working at it, and it’s paid off. Ashley is just not ready. She could be, and might be, but that’s not right now. Mickie goes nuts on Ashley and Trish wins, oops, Ashley win, but Trish is still champ. Lesbian lovers rejoice, the stalker angle goes on. RVD is coming back! To be punished or to be pushed? I’d say push, but there’ still a lot of angle and show to go. Cena and Vince, Best Buds Vince just can’t let go of Montreal, and can’t believe that Bret doesn’t want to work a horrible angle with Vince! The nerve of that man! Come on! Let Vince REALLY screw you this time! Live Sex, Ratings GOLD! Cena asks for front row seats to the Live Sex! Vince says no, he likes to have some privacy, so keeps the extra seats empty. Cena says that’s cool, he can borrow some binoculars from security. MASTERS ANGRY! Masters wants to know why fuzzy haired person betray Masters or Masters will SMASH! Carlito says to trust him. Masters smashes lockers. Masters sleep now. Rob Conway vs Chavo It’s a Royal Rumble Qualifying match. They actually have enough guys to do this? I mean, even with Smackdown, thirty guys is pushing it, isn’t it? Eh, Chavo wins. He gets s pot in the Rumble. Carlito and Masters vs Angle and HBK Good cheer for Carlito. Yep, he’s winning fans. Nice action from all the guys. Solid match. Angle avoids the tag all match long, which upsets HBK, who Superkicks him, and throws him in the ring for the pin. Carlito and Masters win. Vince wants revenge! Vince and HBK talk. Vince is smarmy, the kind of smarmy Bischoff should have been. HBK says he’s OK. Vince says he’s OK. Shelton and his Mama run into Val Venis Who reminds us he’s a porn star. Shelton’s Mama is upset by this. Dancing With The Stars How Master P survives is beyond me. But wrestling tie-in for Stacy probably remember him. Hey Nah-na-NAH! UUHHHHH! Shelton vs Val Decent match. Shelton’s Mama stabs Val in the ass with her hairpin, and Shelton wins again. Kane vs Snitsky Snitsky is probably planning something special for Steph, which is why he lost in record time. On a side note, no reason for Kane to not win the Rumble. Kane vs Edge was good, except for the sports entertainment part. - Which got me thinking. Just about every show I’ve been to in Phoenix has had some horrible sports entertainment. WE got the Edge-Lita Wedding. We got the Summerslam where Goldberg lost, which was just the wrong thing to do. We did have HBK vs Benoit, but H ran in at the end. We also had Big Show getting shot with a tranq dart and his head shaved. It’s been months since we had a show come to Phoenix, and it’s about that time. So, just trying to think what sports entertainment angle we could get. Oh, and one more to add to the list. Right before I left Chicago, we got the return of the NOW and the running over of the Rock in his ambulance. Monster reaction that turned to groans in minutes. Such momentum wasted. Speaking of which- LIVE SEX! Yep, it’s a bed in the middle of the ring. Lit and Edge strip down and get into bed. Yeah, they’re really private people, but the company told them to do it. Sign that contract Chris. Come on back Rock and Austin! We’d never do something like this to you! That’s our World Champion in the ring there! USA then fades the screen to black, because they have to. We do apparently get a nipple shot of Lita before it fade though. Oh wait, Ric runs out after the deed is done. He says something about how it’s a disgrace what Edge is doing. You know, he could have really turned himself face here, by saying he’s done things with that belt that Edge couldn’t even dream of. He’s done in planes, he’s done it in limos, he’s done it in locker rooms all across the country and the world, but he’s never done it in the middle of the ring. Well, in front of a live audience anyway. WHOOO! SO let Ric show you how it’s done like a champion! WHOO! He then could have run down and jumped in the ring, climbed on top of Lita (who would still be under the covers) and then started humping her and going WHOOO! WHOOO! Over and over again. That would have been hilarious. But no, Ric runs down, Edge beats him up, and then practically kills Ric, and then Cena shows up. So, while Ric is near death on the announce table, Edge runs away from Cena, leaving Lita in the bed. Cena then beats up Lita, and the show goes off the air. Vince does love Violence. Let’s not forget that. Also, Ric is apparently alive, as he has a match next week. Tomorrow, or today, depending on when I finish this column. Smackdown Recap courtesy of Chad Matthews It was a night of sheer torture for Chad. How can you put into words what happened? A tough job. Let’s see what happened. Batista, So Long Champ Batista announces that he’s injured and will have to relinquish the title, due to those injuries. Sorry, tangent. Just took a look on E-Bay for tickets and for the Raw the following night? $100 a ticket. Jeez. Seriously, TNA, if you want to stick it to Raw, book a show in Chicago. There’s going to be plenty of frustrated wrestling fans around to pack a joint. Back to The Champ He says he wanted to be like Harley Race (Little reaction) Triple H (bigger reaction) Dusty Rhodes (small reaction) and one other guy, who I forget, but got a decent pop. He then shoots on us and talks about “Paul” aka Triple H. He eventually leaves the ring, but does the right thing and says he’ll be back. - Damn skippy he’ll be back. Don’t rush it Dave. Take your time and heal up right. SummerSlam is when you should get the belt back. A nice long feud after WM. There ya go WWE. Batista has left the building. On his way out, he says goodbye to people, including scrubs, Arn Anderson, and Rey Mysterio. They hug. A lot. And Rey will be forgotten about, when they should be building him up, huge. Benoit vs Orton US Title Best Of Seven Series, Match Seven A really long match, which is a treat. Great match, lots of psychology and Benoit is channeling Eddie with the hijinks at ringside. He gets Booker thrown out. Nice. Really picked up at the end. Benoit got a pin on Randy after a ref bump, and had it won, but Randy came back and got the win. Sweet. He then gives the belt to Booker, and we have a nice setting for a feud to erupt at the Rumble, while Benoit should go on to say, since he lost the series, and can’t get a rematch, he’d like to go for the Big Belt. Most likely won’t happen, but it could. Rowdy Roddy, Meet JBL and Mole Chick Oh man, I wonder if Roddy had any clue what was going to happen, He must have had some, but I’m not sure if he really knew how far it would go. Roddy and Bradshaw spar verbally, and it’s good, but it gets much better. Roddy and Boogey, a classic in the making. Piper’s Pit 22nd Anniversary of Piper’s Pit? JBL then comes out in his Limo. Piper starts to speak, but JBL then gives the promo of a lifetime. Great stuff, that only went a little too long, cut off the last segment before the end, and it would have bee perfect. JBL talks about his first reign as Champion, and says that he will win again, in the Over-The-Top-Rope Battle Royal. This time, his reign will be greater. Piper then finally gets to speak, and rips on Jillian’s mole, and JBL. Nicely done. He then introduces Boogey Man. HAH! - Come on Bret! Don’t you want to come back to this? They would never do anything like this to you! Honest! It will be just you and Vince. And Boogey Man. And maybe Mark Henry and Simon Dean. Who will throw worms on you, while Vince berates you. And then whips it out and urinates on you. Then punches you in the balls. Come on Bret, doesn’t that sound great? COME BACK BRET! Then it happens. Boogey goes up to Jillian and licks the Mole. Boogey then bites it off and chews it. Just foul. Hilariously bad, but still foul. I must confess, I’m torn. It was disgusting, but it was so over the top, that it was funny. It was crazy like dragging a casket through a cemetery. Piper sold it like a pro. Boogey, you really make an impression. Good luck to you buddy. You’re a classic. Reader Stu sent this in: The MOLE is dead! Long live the BOOGEYMAN! I saw the bit on Smackdown this week and this just seemed the only way to get that thing off Jillian's face, bar it falling off by itself (and possibly becoming part of the creative team). Boogey still sucks, but only because of his surreal juxtaposition with the rest of the show. Stu Yes, the mole is dead, long live Boogey. Boogey does suck, but in a way that is classic. Mark Henry What do you follow that up with? Mark Henry of course. Boogey and Mark on the same show. It might be more than I can handle. But I’ll try. Melina and the sex scandal has been dropped. Which is a good thing. Melina says that tonight, MNM will work with Mark to win the championship. Well, all right. Fit Finlay Reader Kam sent this in, which fits perfectly. Hey just wanted to give some feedback on this weeks column. I thought it was as good as always, but there are 2 quick points. About Leyla. I’m pretty sure she is on the new game show "deal or no deal" not 100% on it because the girls are shown for about a second but it looks like her to me. The other thing is a one liner a friend of mine dropped years ago about Fit Finley. "Fit Finley? FIT??? the only thing he’s fit for is octoberfest!!" That comment had everyone in the room falling out of their chairs laughing, and still gets a good chuckle from time to time. That’s all I have, thanks for the column. Keep up the great work! Kam Thanks Kam and Stu and all the others who sent me feedback for last week’s column. On with the review. World Championship Battle Royal What a match. Lots of faces. One big surprise. Angle shows up. Angle, wrestling for his third night in a row, since Taker didn’t return Vince’s call (HEY! He’s on vacation! Leave him alone!) It was a nice little set up for the Royal Rumble. Angle and Rey make it to the end. Angle rolls out of the ring, and it’s down to Mark Henry and Rey and Rey lookey scared. He should look determined, but then again, this guy eats more for breakfast then Rey’s entire body. Scary indeed. Rey almost gets Mark Out, but Mark is too much for him. Literally. Angle then gets back in and cheats death at least three times. A German suplex on Mark. A huge slam by Mark on Angle. Right on his neck. -Jeez Kurt, you take way too many chances. Seriously. There’s no need for that. I hated when you use to tease the German from the apron to the floor. Just too risky. But Angle prevails and eliminates Mark Henry, and almost does the double DQ by mistake. But Angle covered and is now you Smackdown Champion. For now. Wait until Taker gets back from those K1 and Pride matches in Japan. Then, it could be a whole new story. Amazing show. Just amazing. So much to enter into the record books, and you can’t do it without mentioning Boogey Man. You had Batista stepping down as Champion. You had Angle coming over for Raw and becoming Champion. Yeah, that draft was really good. If Cena and Angle had stayed on Smackdown, they would have been fine. Angle has great potential as a champion though. If he gets the chance to do his thing. His real thing. Olympic Gold Medalist and World Heavyweight Champion. Again. But he still has a match on Raw against HBK. Which raises some interesting problems. So, is the brand spilt over? I mean, we’ve had joint matches for months now. And we’re about to have another melee in the Royal Rumble. I think it’s a good thing that Angle is Smackdown bound. It gives that potential for Benoit Angle matches that will be huge. Mysterio vs Angle will be solid as well. One final note about the Battle Royal however. Road Warrior Animal stood up to Mark Henry? Come on. It won’t kill you to sell. Road Warrior Animal vs Undertaker, learn your role Old Crufter. TNA Final Resolutions Reults courtesy of the TNA thread in the forums Here’s what happened in brief. Team Canada beat Jay Lethal, Kenny King and Lance Hoyt LAX beat the Naturals Generation Next beat Sonjay Dutt, Matt Bently, and Chris Sabin The James Gang beat the Diamonds in the Rough. AJ Styles kept the X-Division title over Tanahashi X-Pac beat Raven. How? Why? Because he banged Chyna? A pity win? Bobby Roode beat Ron Killings Abyss beat Rhyno AMW beats Team 3D Samoa Joe beat Christopher Daniels Christian Cage and Sting beat Jeff Jarrett and Monty Brown Jeff actually got pinned. Will wonders never cease. So, most important thing, Sting appeared in TNA. He was actually there, and beat Jeff. In a tag match. Tried to watch TNA Saturday night, and didn’t make it. That midnight start time is a bitch. So, running out of time. Column is already really late. Damn that Steve Smith. Screw those Panthers. Go Seattle and Go Pittsburg. The celebration turned into a memorial. So, that’s why the column is late. I think I’ll skip Kane’s House. I’ll just crank out a quick OAW. Over-Analyzing Wrestling Today’s Topic: The Follow Through This past week saw a lot of crazy wrestling hijinks. Live Sex, new champions, Boogie, a tournament, a near death in the beating of Ric, a jump to another show, and the list goes on, down to smaller angle points and plots. The point is, people are going to be paying attention to this weeks TV. They may not be thrilled, but the interest is there. They want to know what happens. How will WWE try to top what they’ve thrown on TV? This has been a big problem for WWE. So many times in the past, after a peak show, they follow through with something bad. Something that doesn’t fit. So, as you’re waiting for Raw to start, there are some questions to be asked. Right now, they have controversy. Like I said, they have some big changes and events. But the PPV isn’t until January 29th. Two weeks to go, until the PPV, and the payoff. SO, do they coast, or try to tweak it? I can think of three dangling plotlines. Edge – Is he going against Cena or Ric? Cena got the spotlight and Ric was an afterthought. Ric was the guy who was left lying, while Cena got to wrap it up. So, Edge has two feuds in front of him, and a possible third. Winner of the Royal Rumble. Which is in two weeks. Edge vs Cena – Makes sense. Edge did basically steal the title from Cena. Cena can demand a rematch. But should he? I say no. I say that Cena needs to get dropped further down the card. A possibility is that a quick match and loss will do more for the character of Cena than a high profile feud. Cena has gained momentum back. The loss was a good thing. Cena got screwed and Cena fans can rally behind that. Then again, one of my pet peeves with WWE is that they tend to drag feuds on way too long. This could be one of them. I think this could be one time where a quick brush off could be a good thing, so that Cena can make a run after WM, or as a lead up to WM. Where he can win the Money In The Bank Challenge. Edge vs Ric Should have been over, but it’s not. This should be the final match between these two. But then again, maybe the plan is for H vs Ric at WM with the World Title on the line. It’s a long time to WM, but right now, that looks like a really bad idea. H vs Ric I mean. Nah, Ric is the IC champion, and as IC champion, he should be defending the IC championship. Or dropping the title. To some one else. So, mainly some one else has to step into the picture. And right now, there’s plenty of candidates, no but clear contender. Angle vs HBK I like the idea of the match. But there’s a big glaring plot hole. Angle is now champion on Smackdown. He could still lose the match to HBK, as it has not been announced for the title, and that does give HBK a reason tow in the Rumble and challenge Angle. It’s a good angle, but I think it would be better for Angle to make a clean break from Raw, and go to Smackdown. Go back to Smackdown that is. TOTAL SPECULATION! Steph might be making a return to TV, and Angle is a plot complication. And since WWE has trouble separating reality from their fantasy world, well, better to get Angle off Raw. Angle as Champ Angle as champ is a good thing. Angle will work his ass off, and can work with just about anyone, and has good chemistry with plenty of the guys on Smackdown. Angle vs Rey could be stellar and it’s time to push Rey to the moon, and maybe even let him win. Angle vs Benoit is and can be good again. Angle vs JBL is something that was teased, but never happened. It could happen. In fact, Angle vs just about anyone, except the guy who was on vacation. Angle vs Taker? Now, here’s a sticky wicket. Smackdown needed Taker to step in. Taker probably asked if he was going to win, and was told no. So he no-showed. He also no-showed the weekend house shows. So did JBL. What happened to Bradshaw this week? Boogie Man. So, I say it’s time for Undertaker to back up all his talk. Pay your dues Dead Man. Put some people over. For real. No stealing the heat back. Do the job. He’ll be fine, as long as the gong sounds. No harm done. And the benefits will far outweigh the negatives. Cena What to do with the champ? Sorry, former champ. I do have one idea in mind. Cena vs Shelton. A nice feud for respect. A nice mid-card feud that will help show that Cena is being held down by the McMahon. Cena is great on promos, well, for the most part. Shelton can wrestle up a storm. If Shelton can get a few good matches out of Cena, it will help Cena. If Cena can help Shelton on mic work, it will help Shelton. If Shelton’s Mama can be used for the short term and then fade away, we’ll all be happy. The big goal right now is to get to Wrestlemania. We have only two PPV’s to go, and one is a joint show with plenty of implications. Then, there are weeks of just TV to go before the biggest PPV of the year. No PPV’s in March. Remember that. So, feuds have to be carried until the big ending. It’s not easy to do. Last year, the Batista angle stumbled into the finish line. It worked, but mainly due to H doing the right thing, and Batista’s natural charisma. Once the focus was put on Batista becoming a star, everything was put into that effort and it paid off. This year, we got a new champion with plenty of potential. We have a solid champion that knows how to carry the ball, but is limited by physical conditions. Angle cans till go, but like I said earlier, he takes way too many risks. He needs to be protected, for his own good. Angle will still come up with ways to work a stellar match, but he brakes have to be ridden on him. In the ring, not on promos. There, he can go hog wild, crowing his achievements. No problem there. The over-all goal of getting attention has been done. People will be paying attention. Tonight. This week. But there’s next week to think about. And the week after that. And then the long haul to the finish line. One show can make a difference. Both good and bad. You can’t forget that WWE. Trying to top yourself on the creepy hijinks, well, chances are you’re going to get burned. That’s it for today. Quick plugs, one final message, and then I’ll post this when I get back from work today. Hey, I just realized something. Friday was Friday the 13th. Boogie makes a bit of sense now. Also, today is Martin Luther King’s Birthday, and well, you never know what you’re going to get from WWE on that. Better to just let it slide. Let’s wrap this up. QUICK PLUGS! LOP Forums! LOP Columns Forum The PWA, best E-Fed on the net, period. DVD Fanatic, the Ultimate DVD Resource Home of The Project So, WWE, I’m right here. I’m willing to help out for Wrestlemania tickets. If anyone can get luxury box seats, Vince can. Hell, I’ll sit next to Steph. Might be a good time to see if we can work together. I’ll take my chances with a hormonal pregnant woman. It’s a price I’m willing to pay. For Wrestlemania tickets. You never know, I could be your next Vince Russo. Only without the wrestling penis’s. Unless that’s what you want. Oh, and TNA, if you can get me Wrestlemania tickets, I’d be happy to come work for you. Hell, if Larry Backyard Fed Guy can get me tickets, well, I’m available. To work, you sickos! Not like that! OK, I’m ready for Raw, how bout you? Time to put this sucker to bed. Until Next Time, Thanks For Readin’ and Thanks For Ridin’ Wevv Mang mrwevv@mac.com *NEW GALLERY* Amazing UP CLOSE Kelly Kelly Tease Photos! MUST SEE!
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