Take up thy wrestling boots and walk - The Return of YBTB: YBTB VIII
Submitted by Pt2 on Tuesday, November 22, 2005 at 9:29 PM EST





Welcome to the column that is a miscarriage of justice wearing the Crimson Mask, Take up thy wrestling boots and walk. I’m the columnist who thinks that Commentators just don’t come as good as they did in the eighties, Pt2, back once again to talk about wrestling. What a surprise eh? A column on a wrestling website that talks about wrestling. Bet you didn’t see that one coming.

I was quite moved to see the outpouring of emotion for Eddie Guerrero – the man was a legend and I’m glad to see that the fans realised that and feel his lost just as much as the legends. The sad thing really is how quickly we all have to try and move on. But that doesn’t mean that we forget. The show may go on, but we’ll always remember Eddie Guerrero. For my part, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to separate my memories of Eddie from Johnny Cash’s “Hurt” now. Every time I hear it (and I’ve certainly heard it more than usual this past week) I think of Eddie.

As one last note before I begin the column, I’d like to thank the people who took the time to e-mail me about my own tribute to Eddie. Your comments were warmly appreciated. Thank you.

And now, the show must go on.

A while ago, we used to run a game in this column, called You be the Booker, or YBTB for short. And after our champion, RG5, successfully defended his title against Malenko-1000 – and then we had a 6 month lay off.

Well, with some small changes to the game (some from necessity, some to make the game better), we are returning, as the two time champ comes back, now a main pager, to defend his bragging rights against a young lion in the forum.

You can be forgiven for not knowing the rules after six months, so as a reminder, here they are:

1.You have a word limit of 500 words per scenario.

2. Direct Dialogue is banned (You can paraphrase what the wrestlers say, but cannot give them specific words to say. You are working with pro’s, they should be able to give natural, live, unscripted promo’s).

3. Contestants must pay attention to stories that have gone before, and past relations between characters. For example, You cannot use HHH as a face without turning him face within your 500 words. You also cannot have The Rock and HHH on the same side without giving valid cause within your 500 words. This is important - you can lose points both from the Judge and Adjudicator for having holes in your storyline.

4. The winner will be the person to win 2 of the 3 scenario’s. In the unlikely event of a draw, the winner will be based on an aggregate score across the three scenarios.

5. Pt2’s decisions are final.

And we also say good bye to our cult hero, “The Judge”. Make of come controversial decisions in his time, he provided us with the view of the non-IWC wrestling fan, to see if contestants ideas would actually fly with the more casual viewer. Unfortunately, work constrains his time too much nowadays, and well… your stuck with me. And I can be much harder to impress.

Challenging our Champion today is the author of “I got to tell you something” in the LOP columns forum, and he has written 30 columns under that name. Today, he represents Montreal Quebec, and goes by the Moniker of Big Brother. His sole experience of YBTB came in a strong effort in the YBTB rumble, and it will be interesting to see how he adapts to the three legged version of the game.

And of course, our champion - from St. Louis, Mo. He is the author of 68 editions of Lop's "The Nosebleed Section" and founder of The Project, he is also the only 2 time YBTB champion and the Winner of the inaugural YBTB Royal Rumble. With stats like that, he can only be Random Guy#5.

And I am your Judge and Jury, Pt2, creator of this game and author of 118 editions of the very column your reading. Being neither American nor Canadian, I represent neither, so there is no conflict of interest on that front. I also am the person with the sad duty of inflicting late penalties, and once again I must fine RG5 10% of his total tally on all scenarios. But enough of that, let’s see the first of the scenario’s I set our would be promoters…

Scenario 1:

Book the debut of Sting on RAW, using any of the current RAW roster, in no more than 3 shows. You may use Sting only once on each show.


Big Brother: The show starts with the announcers talking about the backstage rumours about a big superstar that would be coming back to Raw in the upcoming weeks. We then see some wrestlers backstage guessing about the identity of the superstar.

Eric Bischoff is in his office talking on his phone, thanking his interlocutor and saying that next week will be memorable as they’ll write down history once more together. He turns off the phone as Shelton Benjamin comes in and asks Bischoff if it’s “him”, that he want to meet “him”. Bischoff answers that he’ll have to wait just a little longer as he’s ready to announce to the world the great news he have for next week.

Bischoff is in the ring and talks about all his accomplishments in WCW with the nWo and how he was able to beat WWE in the ratings for so long. He adds that one superstar was a huge part of WCW back in the days and that superstar will be at Raw the following week. That superstar is Sting.

The next week Sting is on Raw as we see him walking backstage. He spot Shelton Benjamin and stop to talk to him. The young athlete is nervous and the veteran tried to reassure him, saying that he really like what he saw of Shelton Benjamin so far and that he know he’ll have a good future in wrestling and that he knows that Shelton use the Stinger Splash as a tribute. He then leaves, heading to the ring.

In the ring Sting talks about all those years passing in WCW and how he never thought he would be in a WWE ring. Flair interrupts him saying that he’s pumped about Sting being back in the business as he remembered the last match they wrestled against each other on the last WCW Nitro. Big show comes down to the ring also reminding Sting of the days they were in the nWo together. After some talking, Flair asks that the next week they have a match. Sting agrees that he’d like to face Flair and Show in a tag team match and that he has the perfect partner : Shelton Benjamin.

The following week, the match start slowly with Benjamin and Flair working each other for a while before Big Show comes in and manhandle Shelton. After some long minutes Sting get the hot tag and start cleaning the house. Flair and Big Show find themselves laying in opposite corners as Shelton and Sting look at each other and deliver both a Stinger Splash. Sting calls Shelton in the middle of the ring and point one finger asking to do it one more time. Shelton then smiles at Sting, grabs him and deliver the T-bone suplex. Benjamin walks to the apron and, instead of leaving the ring, deliver a springboard leg drop to Sting before leaving for real, still smiling as the show fades to black.

RG5: As Survivor Series opens, a promo is shown that speaks of the future needing a new leader. Before one can look to wrestling’s future however, one must look to wrestling’s past explains the promo, adding in as well that the wrestling landscape has grown tired of pseudo-legends and false idols. The images of crows and darkened lighting fade as we lead into the next match.

During the match between Teddy Long and Eric Bischoff the crowd is bored with men booing, women weeping and small children soiling their britches. Suddenly, the lights go out when they come back on both general managers are unconscious. The referee has no choice but to count a double count out. Vince McMahon comes to the ring, and looks distraught, as obviously both his shows are without a leader.

On Raw, Vince comes out to announce the vacancies and even goes so far as to set up an office in back with a desk where applicants can be interviewed on the spot. This provides some great comedy as Kurt Angle and HBK both play on being General Manager again, with Eugene applying as well. Vince does frustrated face well, along with the bug eyed and goofy face as Maria displays her assets for Vince in true ditzy fashion. As he’s determining her qualifications do indeed fit the position, the lights go out again, a women screams, and Candice is suddenly gone. Vince is in terror, until he notices an application on his makeshift desk, and breaks out into a classic Vince grin and says aloud that the position is filled comically turning down the final applicant in Trevor Murdoch.

Later in the night, a video promo is aired with a large figured masked in darkness who explains that he has no interest in further injuring superstars on Smackdown!, but that those on Raw need to look to the heavens for the answers they seek can be found in the rafters.

On Raw, Vince announces that Teddy Long will be able to resume duties and the GM situation is starting to be remedied. As he is preparing to name the new GM of Raw, Bischoff’s music hits and he comes to the ring in bandages explaining to Vince that he can continue. As Vince is preparing the bad news, the lights go out again, and a spot light starts on Bischoff before panning skyward to reveal Sting in the rafters! He makes his way to the ring and dismantles Bischoff, culminating with the Stinger Splash before signing a GM contract with Vince. As Vince celebrates the return of a wrestling icon, Sting lays out Vince and Raw goes off the air with Styles screaming and Vince clamouring in the Scorpion Death-lock!






Judgement day: To be honest, there isn’t much of a contest here. Brother’s scenario isn’t particularly great, and nothing of any real interest happens until the end – I’m not sure I’d even be watching at that point after everyone had got kissy-faced with each other for so long. Against a lesser scenario, it might have had a chance.

Unfortunately for BB, Random really did turn up for this one. Using Sting only once (if he doesn’t appear, it doesn’t count), he manages to create a great debut, using mainly other characters. A mark of 52 for Brother, and an 80% for RG5. minus his late penalty, gives the final score of 70% and a margin of victory of 18%.

RG5: 1
BB: 0

Scenario 2:

Make Carlito a credible world title contender in no more than 6 shows. In this scenario you can use all members of the WWE roster, and even former WWE stars, but you may only use former stars once in your scenario. Marks will be given for how well you build up Carlito.

BB: The Raw after Survivor Series, Carlito was in the ring talking about how great he looked and how it was time for him to show that he’s not only cool, he’s also the best wrestler in the WWE. He invited any wrestler on either roster to come to the ring and face him. Eugene came down but Carlito attacked him before he even got to the ring, targeting his neck. A couple of minutes later, Carlito connected with his finisher, a modified neckbreaker he calls the cool-breaker.

The next week Carlito’s Cabana guest is Chavo Guerrero and, after some little discussion about the death of Eddie Carlito asked why Chavo was not as cool as his uncle. Chavo attacked him but Carlito escaped, setting a match for the next week.

The match saw little offence from Chavo who tried to emulate some of Eddies moves but Carlito did the same which angered Chavo to no end. Eddie’s nephew went on a relentless attack but finally got a tornado DDT for his effort and lost the match.

The next week Todd Grisham asked Carlito about his open invitation to anybody in the WWE. Todd told him that somebody answered the challenge and Chris Benoit came from behind Carlito. He asked him to meet him in the ring.

Benoit started off the match strong but Carlito was able to reverse his big moves each times and he tried to work on the back of the repaired neck of Benoit. After some back and forth Booker T’s music started and Carlito used that moment of distraction to reverse the crossface in a cradle pin and used the ropes as leverage for the win. Benoit looked for Booker T but saw Carlito pointing to his head, telling him that he was smarter than him.

The following week Carlito erupted in Bischoff office asking to be named number one contender but HBK was also in the office asking for the same thing. Carlito said that nobody would make a cooler WWE champion than him. Michaels asked for a number one contender match for the next week and got it. He then said to Carlito to turn back because somebody was behind him. The Rock was behind him and started asking if he really thought he would be the cooler WWE champion and then proceeding to verbally attack Carlito who asked to have a match right then and there.

Even before the match started Carlito started, once again, to target the Rock’s neck and played to the crowd mocking the Rock’s antics. The challenger tried a comeback but got his Rock bottom reversed to the cool-breaker for the win.

The following week Michaels face Carlito who, once again, started early to attack Michaels but this time to the legs. After a long battle HBK went for the sweet chin music but Carlito grabbed his foot and applied the figure-four and used leverage on the ropes to make Michaels tap, making him the number one contender…

RG5: Following a difficult loss to Flair at Survivor Series, HHH falls into a state of depression. During Raw, we find Triple H backstage. A member of the ring crew bumps into him and for a second we think HHH is going to smite the techie and his camera bag, but suddenly Hunter falls into despair, and lacks the energy to dismantle the grunt. Meanwhile, Flair celebrates his victory in the ring.

Week two, Flair continues his celebration by announcing that while his career has been reborn, when he was truly at his prime was while he was a member of the Four Horsemen, and the only way for him to reach the top, is to do that again. This is met with mixed crowd reactions, and the groans from the crowd only worsen when Flair announces that Carlito is his first pick to join him. Flair says Carlito impressed him during their feud for the IC title, and he thinks Carlito can be ‘the next’ dirtiest player in the game. With Flair in his corner, Carlito wins a tough match Shane Helms, and he does it with Flair’s patented Figure Four!

Meanwhile, H continues his sulking later in the show, unwilling to talk to anybody.

Week three, with Flair “not there” Hunter gives a promo saying that while Evolution is sometimes never talked about, it still never stops. He invites Carlito to be the first member of Evolution. Carlito seems confused and with H is his corner, Carlito beats Shelton Benjamin, via the Pedigree.

Week four sees Carlito gets distracted with his two new mentors brawling at ringside (both trying to recruit Carlito) and loses to Tajiri via roll-up. After the match, Carlito is furious, and not only connects with the Pedigree, but dismantles the legs of Tajiri and employs the figure four. After the match he also debuts his new finisher, a “test drive” swinging neck breaker that Styles describes as “The Bad Seed”. H and Flair, separated by security, both smile at the mean streak of Carlito.

Week five, Bischoff needs a #1 contender and to impress him, Carlito asks for Snitsky. Before the match, Flair comes to ringside and Carlito seems annoyed. As H comes to the ring, to cheer him on (talking trash at Flair) Carlito doesn’t want either of their help. He cheats to win, beating Snitsky with a low blow and a handful of tights. H and Flair argue over who taught it to him.

Week six, Bischoff agrees that Carlito has been impressive as of late and books him in a #1 contender match with Shawn Michaels. Backstage, Carlito claims he doesn’t need Flair or H, and he can win by any means necessary. He beats Michaels with use of brass knuckles, which he turns and uses on Flair and H at ringside, before laying out both men with their respective finishers and standing tall over H, Shawn, and Flair. Bischoff comes out to raise Carlito’s hand.






Judgement day: Now this was a tough one to Judge. In truth, I preferred Random’s effort here, despite my initial fears when he mentioned the Four Horsemen. Seems people love trying to get them back together in these things. However, the scenario does say points for making Carlito the main eventer, and I think that BB does manage to make me feel like Carlito is more of the man.. just. And he makes me hate him more. Always a good thing in a main event heel. 70% for Random and 75% for BB. Minus Random’s penalty, that’s a 15% margin of victory for Brother.

BB: 1
RG5: 1

All square. From a disaster in the first, to a good strategy winning him the second, and Brother is still alive in this. Time for the decider.

Scenario 3:

Book a tag-team unification match between RAW and Smackdown! Tag champions of your choice. In this scenario, you are aiming to make neither show’s team look weak. You have the equivalent of one month – 4 shows, and the PPV, maximum.

BB: After another successful title defense against Cade and Murdoch, Kane and Big Show started to claim that nobody could beat a team with a monster s big as Show and one as sadistic as Kane. They asked if anybody was good enough to challenge them.

The next week, MNM delivered a message to Kane and Show : beating two cowboys isn’t enough to be called a great team. They reminded them of all the tag teams trying to get their titles on Smackdown : LOD, Mexicools, Regal/Burchill… They face competition each week and could take the titles from Kane and Show if given the chance.

The week after, Bishoff is in his office barking orders to ensure that no Smackdown superstar would come in this week and ruin his show. Vince McMahon enter the office and ask Eric why Raw doesn’t have a great Tag Team division and, as Eric was fumbling for words, Vince tells him that it was enough. At the next PPV in 2 weeks, there would be a unification of the Tag Teams Championships in a cage match and that the losing team would be sent to the other brand. As a compensation, two divas would be sent to Raw if Smackdown would win and two Cruiserweight would be sent to the blue brand if Raw was to win the match. Vince agreed to let the GM chose the compensatory wrestlers themselves.

The following week, Eric comes to the ring and looks sadden. He announce that, when Big Show and Kane will beat in six days, they will lose the services of both Chavo Guerrero and Shane Helms. He adds that he know they will win because MNM will have to worry about bigger things… the breakup of their alliances as the two Divas he choose to switch brand should MNM win were Christy and Melina.

Before the PPV Melina is backstage and looked crushed. She kept talking about how their perfect team is facing the worse possible situation as they’ll break up and be sent to a different show if they lose but also if they win.

The match starts off the monsters overpowering their opponent who try to use their speed to gain the upper hand. Big Show was able to leave by the door while Kane was double teamed by MNM. After some solid work on Kane, Mercury escaped from over the cage Kane got Nitro before he could follow his teammate. Kane had a big size and experience advantage and was ready to escape from the door too when Melina got in front of him and lifted up her shirt. Kane looked interested and was focused on her long enough to let Nitro escape from the cage and give them the win.

After the match, Melina got the mic and said that while she was going to Raw, she would be more than happy to take the women’s title away from Trish, making MNM champions in both Raw and Smackdown.

RG5: At Survivor Series, it is quite clear that the feud between Bischoff and Teddy Long has escalated. Following an epic bloodbath encounter that seen both men get disqualified in “No Contest” the feud is reaching new heights. Even the wrestlers had begun to take notice, with wrestlers from each show prying the crimson soaked general managers apart. In one particular incident, the Boogeyman sustained serious trauma to the ear in an effort to pry the electric pencil sharpener away from his general manager, having snuck it past the referee and wielded it against Eric Bischoff.

With each man furious on Raw the next week, Vince inserts himself as a evil manipulating mediator, appearing to attempt a compromise but really stirring the pot. Bischoff and Long, in a fit of rage, wager each show’s tag titles against the other in the WWE’s first ever Tag Team War Games match to be held at Armageddon. Each manager then sets out to position his tag teams in a position to unify the belts, and monopolize WWE tag team wrestling for his brand.

On Smackdown, Teddy long realizes that MNM has no chance at all against Kane and Big Show, the current Raw champions. He sets up a gauntlet to determine his best tag team, where he teams up Boogie and Bobby, in a team he calls “The Manly Lash” but they are doomed to failure. The Orton’s prove to be no match for MNM either, and The Dicks fell just short. Ultimately, it is MNM who prevail, much to the dismay of Teddy Long, who has been irritable since his bloodbath with Bisch.

On Raw, the following week, Bischoff sets up a Triple Threat Tag Team Turmoil match known as the “5 T’s of Death”. In it, he sets up Big Show and Kane, Angle and Shelton in a reunion of Team Angle, and the surprise participants shock the world when HBK and Triple H are forced to align and join forces in a DX reunion! With DX infighting, Show and Kane run rampant on Team Angle, when Angle gets them DQ’d by taking a chair to Big Show’s ankle. This leaves Kane two on one with DX, when HBK removes his “All things possible” shirt to reveal a DX one! HBK has swerved! He and HHH decimate Kane to the point that he thinks he’s Isaac Yankem, and DX goes onto Armageddon, to face MNM in Tag Team War Games, where it will be Armageddon for one show’s tag team division.

Judgement day: I’ll be honest here gentlemen, I don’t think either of you did a particularly great job. Neither of you did too badly, since I don’t think either of you make the tag champs look weak, but both ideas are a little goofy – and BB, I’m not sure turning Kane into Phineas I. Goddwinn is a great move. Still, Much like the first one, I think this is pretty much hands down a Random win. The D-X factor makes the title look important, and MNM look like studs, and war games could make the match a major selling point. I’d say that 78% for Random and 62% for BB was pretty fair. Meaning an overall margin of victory of 6% for RG5.

And with that, he retains his title! Thanks to both Random guy 5 and Big Brother for playing, a valiant effort on the parts of both men. If you are interested in taking part, then I can be reached at takeupthywrestlingboots@gmail.com or at lopforums.com in the “Take up…” thread in the feedback section.

Just a reminder, that there are only 8 more days to nominate wrestlers for the Christmas induction over at www.wrestlingfanshof.co.uk, and I’m sure there are still plenty of favourites you’d still like to see put on the list, so get on over there and vote.

I’ll be back next week, until then, once again my thanks to RG5 and BB, all Feedback can be sent to takeupthywrestlingboots@gmail.com and I’ll reply just as soon as I get time.

Many thanks for reading.

Pt2








*NEW GALLERY* Brooke Hogan BOUNCING AROUND With Her New Toys! MUST SEE!

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