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Submitted by Morpheus on Saturday, October 22, 2005 at 9:48 PM EST
 Volume Forty-Six – A Flair For The Old 10/22/2005 Welcome, Dreamers, to the Forty Sixth Edition of Enter The Dream Realm. I am Morpheus, Master of the Dreaming, and I will be your guide through this land of Nightmares and Dreamscapes. Wedding Season in the Dream Realm has officially come to a merciful close, and life has returned to its normal hectic state of affairs in the Mizzle Household. So, three busy weekends, a total of 30 hours of driving, and a flight to Tennessee later, and three good friends of mine have left the single life behind and joined the ranks of the broken spirits who are firmly entrenched in the iron grip of the institution of Marriage. I wish these six souls the best of luck in their new marriages. If experience is any indicator, they’re going to need it. I’ve also had a whole buttload of trouble lately with my email. For the last couple of weeks, my email account that I use here at LOP has been the definition of teh sux0rz and I haven’t been able to access it since we entered October. Optimum Online must’ve been infected with a serious case of the gayness. Thankfully, tech support finally cleared up the problem late last night, and this morning I woke up to a bombardment of about 60 emails that I’ve missed over that time. I will be replying to those post-haste, just as soon as I get this column done and posted and take care of a couple of other things. Sorry for the delay for those of you who have been waiting, but this one was out of my hands. Now, aside from all the wedding-related travel and such, it’s been a busy month for me in the real world and the web world. I’ve got one research article that’s been accepted for publication with revisions to be done by December 1, one paper under review by my advisors, and one that I’m working on finishing up, hopefully early next week. Then, it’s on to Preliminary Ph.D. Candidacy Exams for me, so no rest for the wicked awesome. I also just won my first Championship in the LOP E-Fed, the link to which can be found at the end of the column. I also took home the Movie Bar Movie Trivia and Music Trivia contests for September, as well as the Movie Bar Fantasy Baseball League, just edging past pt2 and Random to take the Championship for the 2005 season. Best part about that? I know jack and shit about baseball! Still, it was nice to once again prove my superiority over Random by making him my bitch. Business as usual. Now, enough banter, it’s time to get to it. Hopefully you will find this Forty-Sixth sojourn through the Dream Realm both enlightening and entertaining. So, without any further ado, let the Dreams begin!  - Line Of The Week: Stone Cold Steve Austin (To Stephanie McMahon) – “I oughtta bend you over my knee and give you a spankin’, but I wouldn’t want your balls fallin’ outta your skirt.” - Kane has made a triumphant return to RAW, picking up the win in the 18 man Battle Royal to decide the third person the fans can choose to enter as the third man in the triple threat match for the WWE Title at Taboo Tuesday. Personally, I am giddy as hell that the Big Red Machine is back, as he’s always good for some quality stuff on RAW, and I can only hope his inevitable push lasts longer than the two and a half weeks he usually gets. - News reports right here on LOP (*thumbs up*) have broken the news that Christy Hemme is now dating Joey Mercury. This is not the first piece of Diva Tail that My Man Mercury has tasted, as he used to date Alexis Laree (Mickey James) back in the day. With Mercury dating Christy, and Nitro dating Melina, this officially means that MNM is the highest poon-grossing team in the WWE right now. All you guys out there, take note. If you want to pick up some hotties on par with these two fine ladies, the secret obviously lies in fake fur coats and matching gay furry boots. To The Gap! - I am digging hard on the whole SmackDown! vs. RAW angle that’s been playing out over the last couple of weeks. I’ve always thought it was a potential goldmine just waiting to be tapped, and I am glad to see that they are finally doing it. Not just doing it either, but doing it RIGHT. The rumored SmackDown! vs. RAW Survivor Series Main Event will no doubt be the greatest Main Event match since Batista vs. Snitsky on RAW last March. Well, if it lives up to its hype, anyway… - Over these last few weeks, I have also really enjoyed the friendship dynamic playing out between Eddie Guerrero and DAVE Batista. The way it has been booked, at least up until this past week, you can never really tell where it is going to go and what Eddie is going to do. One big upside to this is it has given DAVE an excellent person to hone his mic and ring skills with in Eddie. The voice in the back of my mind tells me it can’t last, but I remain optimistic that this team can really be something great if given half a chance.  Dreamers’ Taboo Tuesday As I am sure you are all aware, Taboo Tuesday is fast approaching, and the card for the event has just been released. As the one PPV that the WWE puts on that fans truly have a say in, I am always interested in seeing how things turn out come the night of the show. Now, what I would like to do is take a little poll of my own and see how patrons of the Dream Realm would decide the fate of this interactive PPV event. So, with that said, I have listed the card below for you to check out, and when you’re finished with the column, send me an email or drop me a line in the forums to let me know what your choices for each of these matches are, and next week I’ll compile and publish the results of the Dreamers’ Taboo Tuesday Event right here in ETDR. Happy voting! WWE Championship Triple Threat Match: John Cena (c) vs. Kurt Angle vs. ?? Your Choices for the Third Man: Shawn Michaels, Big Show, or Kane Intercontinental Champion Ric Flair vs. Triple H Your choices for Match Type: Singles Match, Submission Match, or Steel Cage Match Steve Austin vs. Jonathan Coachman: If Austin wins, JR gets his job back. If Coach wins, Austin loses his job. Your choices for Match Type: Verbal Debate, Arm Wrestling, or Street Fight. Mick Foley vs. Carlito Your choices for Foley’s Persona: Mankind, Dude Love, or Cactus Jack. Fulfill Your Fantasy Diva Battle Royal: Trish Stratus (c) vs. Ashley vs. Mickie James vs. Maria vs. Torrie vs. Candice vs. Victoria Your Choices for Ring Attire: Lingerie, Leather and Lace, or Cheerleader RAW vs. SD: Edge & Chris Masters vs. ?? You Choose Two of the Following Wrestlers to Tag: Rey Mysterio, JBL, Matt Hardy, Christian and Hardcore Holly World Tag Team Championship: Trevor Murdoch & Lance Cade (c) vs. The Losers Of The Title Match Poll No Choices: Your decisions on the third man in the title match answer this one.  A Flair For The Old It never fails. Whenever someone lays in a hard knife-edge chop on their opponent during a match, the crowd erupts with a deafening “WOOOOO!!!” of approval. Whenever a certain legendary wrestler who goes by the moniker of “The Nature Boy” makes his way to the ring, is shown backstage, or is even mentioned by name, a similar cry of nostalgic support is emitted from the assembled masses at a live WWE event. There is no denying the fact that wrestling fans both past and present have a great deal of respect for one Ric Flair, and it is the kind of undying respect that seems to have no end to its bounds. Almost exactly a year ago, I wrote a column in the LOP Columns Forum that was devoted to Ric Flair. Anyone who is interested in checking that one out can click on this link: ETDR Vol. 9 – To Be The Man. If anyone had told me that 369 days and 37 columns later, I’d be writing yet another column devoted to the Nature Boy, I would have told them they were insane. Even moreso, if they told me that I would have had a huge change of heart regarding the aging superstar, I probably would have cocksmacked them on principle. Yet, time is a funny thing, and here we are today, with both of those things coming painfully true right before our very eyes. Now, anyone who has paid attention knows that I am about as far as you can possibly get from being a Flair mark while still being a wrestling fan. Granted, I don’t hate him with the fiery passion that burns in my colon towards that ‘roided up purveyor of all things skullet, Hulk Hogan, but I have never liked Ric Flair. There are two main reasons for this being the case. The first reason I have never liked Ric Flair is a petty one, but it’s just so hard to get over. Back when I was an impressionable youth, Flair was in the WWF and he was feuding with Randy Savage over Miss Elizabeth, and was doing his best to break up their marriage. As a kid who went through his parents divorcing over infidelities, this just pissed me off to no end and I instantly hated the cocky homewrecker. Yeah, I know it was almost 15 years ago, but some shit just stays with you. Second of all, I never watched WCW, and so the only stuff I have ever seen from Ric Flair has come from his work in the WWF/E over the years. He was always hyped up as the greatest wrestler who ever laced up his boots, and quite frankly, I just didn’t see it. These days, it’s no wonder why I don’t see it, as he has gotten what some people refer to as “really fucking old,” so I cut him some slack for that now. Still, I wanted to see Ric Flair at his best, during his prime days in the 80’s, just to see if all the hype was based in truth, so I got the Ultimate Ric Flair Collection DVD they put out a while back, and I watched the whole thing. In all honesty, I still don’t see what is supposed to make him the greatest wrestler of all time. Yes, he was a good technician in the ring, sometimes even great. But he wasn’t the best. Yes, he had some good matches, sometimes even a few great matches. But he also had some real shitbombs. Yes, he was good on the mic. That I will give him, as he is quite possibly one of the greatest mic workers in history. I suppose it is all these things combined with his sheer longevity that have earned him the right to be referred to in such a manner, but I still don’t quite see it. Perhaps I should be more clear and say I didn’t quite see it. The fact of the matter is over the last month and a half, The Nature Boy has made a believer out of me. When he first made his return to RAW on Carlito’s Cabana after his brief hiatus, there was something different about him. It was almost as if that fire had returned to his eyes, and he was really ready to step back between the ropes for a few good shows. This is a big change over the last few years, at least in my opinion, where you could tell he was just kind of going through the motions because it was the only thing he knew how to do. There was something about him in the way he spoke and the way he moved that said to me, “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet, mother fuckers!” Over the next couple of weeks, we saw some decent matches on RAW that saw Flair joining forces with Shawn Michaels to take on the rising stars, Carlito and Chris Masters. While these matches were good, Flair didn’t really do too much more than his usual spots, so I thought that maybe I was getting my hopes up. Still, the promos he was delivering contained that energy and fire that he seemed to have regained, so I held out some hope that we would really see something great in the near future. Then, come Unforgiven, my hopes were proven to be well-founded. In the opening match of this PPV event, Ric Flair took on Carlito in a heated battle for the Intercontinental Championship, one of the only titles that Flair had yet to win in his long and storied career. This match was a great bout from start to finish, and really showed what Carlito was capable of in the ring, which is something he doesn’t often get to show. Even more importantly, Ric Flair showed exactly what he was made of and pulled out what I might be so bold as to go on record as saying is one of the best matches of his career, certainly that I had seen at least. He even managed to successfully pull off a leap from the top rope, which I don’t think has happened since I was in Kindergarten. When all was said and done, the aged Flair made the youngster tap out to the Figure Four Leglock, and Flair had won his first ever Intercontinental Title. The stellar performance didn’t stop there, either. Beginning with a heartfelt speech in the ring after winning the match, Flair embarked upon an evening of debauchery that involved four women from ringside, several bottles of champagne, and a whole shitload of Viagra. The vignettes he had throughout the rest of the night were priceless; classic Flair with a new twist. After Unforgiven was put into the history books, a lot of my opinions on the Nature Boy had changed for the better, and I really looked forward to seeing him with his new-found fire over the coming weeks. My Flair fix was fed the following night when Ric faced off against Carlito in a rematch for the IC strap that ended up being his first successful title defense. This match turned out quite well also, almost as good as the one the night before. Flair once again took the mic and hyped the fact that his best friend HHH would be making his return to RAW in short order, and truth be told, nothing made me happier. At RAW Homecoming, we saw yet another awesome match from Flair, as he teamed up with The Game to take on Carlito and Masters in a tag team match. The match itself was a thing of greatness, with HHH and Flair working together flawlessly, and Trips paying adequate homage to his childhood idol. Following the match, we saw the abrupt end to perhaps the shortest Face run in history, taking that record from Randy Orton’s failed face turn last year, as HHH turned on Flair and mercilessly beat and bloodied him for upwards of ten full minutes, even continuing through a commercial break. Personally, I really wish we would have seen a badass face HHH for a while longer, but that is another story for another time. The HHH/Flair feud had begun, and I was definitely psyched for what was to come. Every time these two guys are in the ring together, whether it is as partners or as opponents, they always bring the best out of each other and manage to pull out a spectacular performance. This past Monday on RAW, Flair solidified himself in my eyes as being worthy of the hype and mystique that goes along with his fabled name. He delivered what I would say was probably the best damn promo I have ever seen him give, beating himself bloody as he called HHH out to face him in the ring. The sheer intensity and emotion he put into this promo were amazing, and something you just can’t fake. After seeing him on Monday, I honestly believe that he’s going out there with something to prove, and in the end, he is going to blow the roof off the mofocka and put on a show few people, if any, would have believed him capable of pulling off. It would be an understatement for me to say that this is the match that I am most looking forward to at Taboo Tuesday, and no matter who wins, at the end I am sure that Flair will have proved his many naysayers wrong, and I can only hope that this feud has some long legs because I could watch those two guys go at it every couple of weeks for a two or three solid months, no problem. It seems that all the talk over the last couple of years, and more specifically the last few months, about Flair having one last good run at the top may not be as ludicrous as I once thought. However, it depends on what people mean by “The Top.” I think it is pretty safe to say that seeing Ric Flair as WWE Champion just doesn’t work, no matter how good he has been lately. The fact of the matter is he is much older than all of the other contenders for that title who are stronger, faster, and more believable as Champion than Ric is at this stage of his career. If he uses this last good run at the top to elevate the Intercontinental Title to new heights, and really bring the midcard and upper-midcard into the limelight, I think that run will be extremely rewarding for not only himself, but for the WWE and its fans as well, not to mention all the younger talent who would gain invaluable experience from working with the self-proclaimed Dirtiest Player In The Game. Flair doesn’t need to be the WWE Champion to have a run at the top; he just needs to be Ric Flair. When Ric Flair made his first run at the NWA World Heavyweight Championship nearly 25 years ago, he called his campaign “A Flair for the Gold.” Almost a quarter of a century later, and it seems he has a Flair for the Gold once again. I think that as long as he keeps his sights set on the Intercontinental title, Flair will turn out to provide the fans with some of the best moments of his career. It has been great seeing Ric Flair back in top form, and in my opinion the best form in which I have ever seen him, and he has definitely made a fan out of one of his staunchest detractors. The Nature Boy has definitely infected me with a Flair for the Old.  - Why did they have to go and put Shawn Michaels back in the mix for the Title Shot at Taboo Tuesday again this year? It has seemed lately that they are looking to give Kane a bit of a push now that he is back on RAW, so why put him up in the voting against the one guy who would likely win the poll even if he was killed in a horrible bus accident three weeks before the show? He’ll need all the help he can get, so here starts the campaign. Vote Kane #1 Contender to the WWE Title in 2005, mother fuckers! - Brock Lesnar has gone and won the IWGP Heavyweight Championship over in Japan. The funny thing about this is the fact that he is still under a contract dispute with the WWE. He wants to break the no-compete clause claiming it is ridiculously long, and the WWE are sticking to their guns. So what does he do? He goes and competes anyway. I have a sincere feeling that he just fucked himself in these proceedings, as he just took that piece of firm ground he was standing on and gave it over to the other team. Brock big. Brock broke. Brock no fight? Brock fight anyway. Brock Dumb. - Last week on Impact, Raven finally came out and said what every TNA fan not related to the Jarretts has had on their minds: “What the fuck?” Jarrett screws Raven out of the title at a house show in Canada, and then the committee decides to give the next Title shot to Kevin “I Used To Be Good, Really I Did” Nash, completely overlooking Raven. When Raven loudly brings this atrocity to the attention of Larry Zbyszco, what does the Living Legend do? Has him removed from the arena. This is great booking by TNA here; putting the strap on JJJ yet again, putting him up against Nash yet again, and making sure that the real Main Event Draw is barred from the premises. Brilliant! - I’m not quite sure how to feel about the new Junior Division on SmackDown! yet, but if they’re serious about pulling it off, they have made a couple of good choices for guys to get it going. Mascarita Sagrada in particular is a really great wrestler; midget or not, the guy’s got skills. However, I do have to say that this Super Porky guy had me reaching for a convenient waste basket into which I could vomit. I haven’t had such a horrid case of reverse peristaltic spasms since Zuma sent me screencaps of the X-Pac/Chyna sex tape.  As you slowly return to consciousness, the last whisperings uttered from the lips of the Dream Master encourage you to check out three particularly outstanding columns in the LOP Columns Forum: Degenerate – Struggle For Power #11: Get Well Soon RIPBossman – Hardtime #38: A Moment In Time BC – BC Screws TNA: The Finale; The Best Booker Of Them All This brings to a close this Forty-Sixth Edition of Enter The Dream Realm. Any feedback you have, as always, would certainly be greatly appreciated and can be sent to me via email at morpheusreturns@optonline.net. I hope that those of you that haven’t yet will take the time to check out some of the great writers we have in the LOP Columns Forum. Until the next time we do this, sleep well, and I’ll see you in your Dreams! Contact Me! Email: morpheusreturns@optonline.net AIM: MorpheusLOP MSN: morpheusreturns@optonline.net Yahoo: MorpheusLOP Hit me up on MySpace! All the cool kids are doing it! PLUGS!  Click here to visit pt2’s Wrestling Fan’s Hall Of Fame!!! Sign Up For BC's Ultimate Columnist Competition TODAY!!! LOP Forums LOP Columns Forum PWA: Psychotic Wrestling Alliance - The Best Damn E-Fed on the Net! Ring Of Honor Wrestling Viva La Movie Bar! The Bar Forums *NEW GALLERY* Hot RETRO Photos: WCW's Sexy NITRO GIRLS! Wow!
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