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Submitted by Xan on Sunday, October 2, 2005 at 11:31 AM EST
 "How can you t'ink an' hit atta same time?"--Yogi Berra Mr. Berra also once said that he never really said all the things that he said, but of all of the famous "Yogi-isms" this one may be the most logical. A baseball thrown by a pitcher in the major leagues will leave the mound traveling anywhere from 65 to 102 miles per hour. The ball travels 60 feet, 6 inches before it reaches home plate. This means that the batter has a lot of information to process in a very short time. What angle is his arm at? Can I see where his fingers are? What kind of spin is on the ball? Does it look like it's going to remain at the same relative spot? How fast is it going? Is it a strike? These are all questions that the batter has to answer in just fractions of a second. It's been said the hardest thing to do in sports is to hit a baseball. Are you starting to understand why? Yet, with all of these things to factor in, all this thinking to do, there are still guys that can actually get a base hit over 1/3 of the time. Even the worst major league hitters can do this 20% of their opportunities. And then you have Barry Bonds, who gets a hit 30% or more of the time every year and once hit 73 home runs in a season. And, like he said, he's never seen steroids help someone swing a bat. He's right, too. It's a gift to be able to hit the way Bonds can. That's why he's considered the greatest of all-time, steroids or no, but even the greatest of all-time [b]fails to get a hit[/b] over 65% of the time each and every year. Who's the greatest wrestling promoter of all time? Whether you consider him the devil incarnate or not, it's Vince McMahon. To argue any other way is foolhardy. And yet, the guy makes mistakes. I believe he has more hits than misses, but I believe that when he misses he misses big. In his column last Saturday, Morpheus detailed Vince missing the boat on guys like Raven, Jericho, Rob Van Dam, Booker T, etc. But missing potential superstars isn't the only possibility for a missed opportunity, as we all know. What if he hadn't let his pride fuck up the Invasion angle? What if he had kept WCW going as a separate company? What if we had actually found out who or what "Little Johnny" was? And what if he didn't keep hiring soap opera writers? What would his company be now if these things had been capitalized on? It's hard to tell, but one thing that's not is that he appears to be making another mistake and it's not yet too late to prevent it. To stop him from dropping the ball as it were. The wrestling story of the year is set to culminate tomorrow night. No, it's not two WWF-contracted wrestlers being the two most recent former ROH Champions. It isn't the rise of two young studs at the same time to the main spots of the WWF: Batista and John Cena. It's not Hulk Hogan being inducted into the Hall of Fame or returning to part-time work with the WWF. It's not TNA signing a contract with Spike TV, frankly last night's debut could have been better. It's not the return of the WWF to USA tomorrow night, or the supposed "biggest thing to ever happen to the WWE"; the 2005 Draft Lottery. Hell, it's not even the incredible, nearly year-long feud between Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio or the historic return--whether it be for one night only or not--of Extreme Championship Wrestling. While it [i]should[/i] probably be the extreme cowardice both UPN and the WWF showed the character of Mohammed Hassan, it isn't. Whether you like it or not, and I realize most don't, the biggest story of the wrestling year has been the whole Edge/Lita/Hardy entanglement. Not just for the scenario itself, but because of the way it leaves open the possibility that wrestling news-sites can be used to swerve us IWC fans and keep us just as in the dark and guessing as the "normal fan" is. That's cool stuff, friends, but it also sucks balls in some ways. This whole scenario has balls at the heart of it. "Why not upset the apple cart? If you don't, the apples will rot anyway."--Frank A. Clark Regardless of how you feel about Matt's reactions to what happened, the truth is he lost his job because Edge was balling his woman. Honestly, I don't believe it had anything to do with him going public about it on the internet. I think one of the guys was going to lose their job anyway, and the WWF management, for whatever reason, always believed Edge to be the more talented of the two. I have no idea why this would be the case, as aside from his feud with Kurt Angle a few years back, Edge has never done anything special outside of tag team situations, while Matt Hardy set Smackdown on fire given a brief opportunity to show his mettle in the Cruiserweight division. Then he had the great feud with Kane on RAW, after finally being allowed to wrestle again. For some reason, ever since the vignettes for him started way back in 1996 or '97, Edge has had a special place in the hearts of WWF promoters, and that seemingly isn't ever going to change. I guess you could say he's a slightly more talented Billy Gunn in that regard...though he was, eventually, released. And, given the personal nature of what transpired between these two men/three people, it would have been very hard to trust that they could maintain the peace, so one of them had to go. I don't see why one couldn't go to Smackdown, but the decision that was made was to scrap one of the guys, and Hardy was the one. This, of course, had to feel like a kick in the balls to our hero. He'd already been dealt two severe blows in one swoop. Not only did he lose his girl, but he lost her to one of his best friends, so all at the same time, two personal relationships that were very special to him were destroyed. Actually, they were pretty much destroyed before he even knew it. Maybe he shouldn't have gone on the internet and told the story. It's probably true that he should have kept his personal business to himself. But, maybe like a lot of us, he feels writing for the IWC is a great way to vent and he had to get his feelings, thoughts, and emotions all out in the open. In hindsight, it was probably a mistake. If not personally, than certainly financially, as he was soon without a job for several months, and the timing couldn't have been worse. Matt had already been out for over half a year due to injury, and being that he never really made it above the upper midcard as a single's performer, there was every chance that the public would have forgotten him. He had completed his physical recovery, but now he wouldn't get the chance to reconnect with the audience, to build a relationship with the crowds. So, instead of scrapping the internet spouting that supposedly got him released from the WWF, and was actually just an excuse, he stepped it up. Instead of cowering in a corner and hiding, he kept fighting back, and laid it all on the line. He went balls to the wall and expressed every emotion he was feeling, and while a lot of people got tired of hearing what he had to say, the fact is that it worked. He got attention from ROH(and actually wrestled a few matches for them), from TNA(who entertained the possibility of having him on their Pay Per View despite knowledge that he had re-signed with the WWF), and a new contract from Vince and company. And all of this was due to his "whining" on the internet and the fans who backed his play, chanting at Lita and Edge "You fucked Matt", "You screwed Matt", "We want Matt", "Slut". Of course, during this time, Vince McMahon actually had the balls to use his art-form to imitate the real-life shit going on in Mr. Hardy's life and employed Kane to play the role of Version 1. This generated even more heat for Edge and Lita, and eventually led to Vince deciding it was a "good business decision" to run with the real thing. And that's where we're at now. "It is high, it is far, it is....GONE!"--John Sterling From all appearances, we are one match away from the story of the year ending. One match away from either Matt Hardy or Edge moving off of RAW. One match away from a fictional conclusion to a real-life struggle. This has been an incredible twelve months for RAW. Batista powerbombed Triple H through a table at a contract signing; Vince McMahon, Paul Heyman, and Eric Bischoff were all in the ring together at the same time promoting ECW One Night Stand; Edge and Chris Benoit defeated each other to win the World Heavyweight Title from Triple H before it was held up, Hulk Hogan made his return, John Cena jumped over the first night of the Draft Lottery, Michaels and Benjamin had a contender for Match of the Year, Michaels kicked Hulk Hogan in the face to start a dream feud, and two weeks ago we had that entertaining as fuck 8-man tag. So the assertions by Vince McMahon that tomorrow night's event is going to have a "Pay Per View" feel are bogus. Tomorrow night is a RAW. A special RAW? They're doing everything in their power to make it so, though I don't see why you'd headline a big celebratory show with Bischoff vs. Cena. But, no matter how big they try to make it, it is clearly not the same as a pay per view. It may be fun, and I'll likely have a ball watching it, but it's impossible to make a free show feel the same as a PPV. The same atmosphere is never going to be there. I believe that Vince McMahon has too many things going on. He's smiling on the outside, playing the harsh Mr. McMahon--though as a bit of a fan favorite this time--but on the inside he's feeling a ton of pressure to make sure that RAW Homecoming is a success. Because of that, I believe he has tunnel vision. He isn't looking at the big picture. If he was, he'd realize that the next RAW Pay Per View event is Taboo Tuesday, and what better place for Edge and Matt Hardy to settle their feud? He's taken his eye off the ball. This is a feud that was brought to the WWF by the fans, for the fans, so why is it being settled mere weeks before the one event that is designed completely with the fans in mind? This is the event that gives the fans the choice of what they want to see, so it would seem that this feud is the perfect place for it. The problem is that Vinnie Mac is trying to think and hit at the same time. If he'd just take a single step back from the batter's box and think about what's coming, I'm sure he'd hit one out of the park, because a RAW ladder match is not the right way to end this kind of fan-driven blood feud. I think Vince would feel this in his bones if he just took one minute to slow down. There's only one way to settle this issue, and the set-up is perfect for Taboo Tuesday. The type of match I'm thinking of was, to my knowledge, first used in Smoky Mountain Wrestling to settle a grudge between Eddie Gilbert and Cactus Jack. Later, Vince Russo and WCW adapted it as their "Triple Threat Theatre" and Chris Benoit was supposed to face Jeff Jarrett in one the day he won the Heavyweight Championship of the World. There have been two in the WWF and both have involved Triple H. He took on Steve Austin in 2001 and Shawn Michaels at Armageddon 2002. This type of match involves a best 2 out of 3 fall background, where each of the falls has different stipulations. I think the blood feud between Matt Hardy and Edge deserves more than a one-fall finish, and I believe the fans would eat it up if they went best of 3, special stipulations, and the kicker is THE FANS GET TO PICK. The WWF should put a list of gimmick matches up on their website and the 3 most voted on would be those used in the match, which is called "3 Stages of Hell" in the Smackdown PS2 game series. I'd have the one the fans voted on most as the finale. Doesn't that sound like a brutally marvelous way to finish this rivalry? Maybe it can still happen. Maybe Edge and Hardy will both come crashing down with the briefcase tomorrow night and they'll need another rubber match. While it wouldn't be disastrous, it would be disappointing if the WWF would come full circle with these two guys only to not score. This angle has already been a hit, but it can so easily turn into a home run. Here's hoping they hit the ball hard enough no one can catch it. After last week's column, I thought I'd have tons of e-mails disagreeing with who I chose in the X 100. Instead...nothing. Hell, I didn't even get anyone arguing about my choice as Hulk Hogan at #1, something I'm shocked by. This is what I got: MRCorso3:16: Good column Xan. Having the other dudes do it too was a plus. I wuv u. Glad you liked it Corso. I tried for a good cross-section to give a balanced picture. Love you, too. Any comments on my work, folks, is welcomed, appreciated, and encouraged. I want to interact with you. Say true. These are the columns that I believe to be the best posted in the LOP Columns Forum over the last 7 days. I suppose you could call them plugs, but these are the recent columns I see as shining examples of stellar work: The Champ(s) is here The New Joint #27 The Eyes #49 Excuse the Aggravation: Homecoming That will conclude today's voyage on The Northern Star. Please e-mail any feedback to XanManX@hotmail.com, with the words "Northern Star" or "feedback" in the subject line. The Northern Star will rise again in 7 days. Until then, Long days, pleasant nights
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