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Submitted by Wevv Mang on Sunday, September 18, 2005 at 2:45 PM EST
Ridin’ With The Bossman – Bring Back Macho Man Greetings! Welcome back to the regular edition of Ridin’ With The Bossman. Which is never an ordinary column, but you get the point. It’s the column WWE uses to book their shows, and the column that H uses to get Steph in the mood. I’m there for you buddy. Now if Steph would just stop emailing me naked pictures of herself. I’m glad she bought a webcam and is finally getting into the net thing, but that’s a little too much. But let’s talk some wrestling. But first, let’s answer some reader mail. Reader Mail! Reader Stuart recently sent me an email with an mp3 attachment. Stu, thanks a lot man, it was really cool of you to do that. Stu asked me three things to think about, and I’d like to answer them here. First the audio show, which can be heard here: Ridin With The Bossman Audio Show The sound quality is sketchy, but I was mainly concerned with the format and the bits. The audio quality problems are caused by I think two things. First, I used two different programs, and importing them into the main program caused some problems, which I tried to fix with too many filters. Also, my mic is a headset mic, so I speak loudly. Pinning the levels. Something I have to get used to. So, for the next one, which will be out sometime next month, I’m still working on it. One bit was a huge success, and it’s going to take the place of Kane’s House, as I don’t want to get sued. If Weekly World News can get away with it, so can I. His second thing was a question about wrestlers taking time off, and it tied into the possibility of WWE doing movies. Stu was talking about an off-season, but the fact is, there is no off-season for wrestlers. It’s a year round sport. Both are distinct possibilities, and here are my thoughts. 1) I’m all for wrestlers getting some time off. Eddie for one would benefit from a nice feud that sends him home for a couple of weeks. That guy is amazing, and if given the chance to recharge his batteries, who knows what heights he could reach. 2) Time off doesn’t have to mean sitting at home, as in the good old days, wrestlers used to get guest spots on TV shows. Big Show appeared on a number of UPN shows. Austin had Mad TV and the Don Johnson show I forget the name of. Rock, well, he was Rock, and got SNL and plenty of TV time. I think the main reason that WWE cut back on these appearances, and indeed, have failed to mention nearly every wrestler appearance with the notable exception of H, is that if the wrestlers thought they could do something else, then they wouldn’t put up with the shit they’re given week after week. Jericho knows he could do other things, and put up with it for three years. Now he has his tours and is working on other projects. In fact, he’ll be appearing on the Red Carpet with Joan Rivers and Melissa at the 57th annual Emmys. Not that big a deal? Not so. It’s a huge deal. For people outside of wrestling, and in the TV biz. Jericho could become the next Rock. And WWE let him walk away. On good terms granted, but man, they really missed the boat. For three years. 3) Vets get time off as perks, and the guys who actually do the work, HBK and Ric withstanding, get nothing but brutal schedules. I plan to write a rant about Undertaker some time, but think about this. Undertaker was given the privilege of having VINCE say, you can win at WM for 13 years in a row. My feeling is that fantasy and reality have gotten mixed up. People say he’s won at WM, like he was really fighting, but the fact is, he was allowed to win. Vince said so. And now, his reward is to be the big star and expect special treatment, when he’s already GOTTEN special treatment. Now, before I get further side tracked, let’s talk about the vets getting time off. I’ve said it before, and I’ll probably keep saying it. If you KNOW the guy isn’t going to be there for the year, and is going to miss a lot of time, say, three months or more, then restructure his contract. All these roster cuts could be spared, and the roster kept stable. Pay the old crufters for each appearance. If it’s a dollar amount and you want to pay the guy a huge wad of cash, then fluff up the price per appearance. It’s that simple. Now, when it comes to TNA, contract, what’s that? Jeff just gives you money. You don’t even have to show up. That’ how Jeff gets these guys to appear on TV. It’s also known as bribes. Before we get too far off topic, let me explain my Title for this column. Nostalgia is running wild and there’s one guy who hasn’t made a peep on the IWC in recent years. That guy is Macho Man Randy Savage. There’s been talk with Sting, and others, but not Macho. Macho was a huge figure from the eighties and nineties. His feud with Hogan was a hot one. The only thing taking Macho out of consideration is that he wants to be paid. Now, they brought back Animal, and he’s got the Tag Belts. And has held them for over a month. That’s money that could be used to bring in Macho and make a great re-union feud with Hogan. I know I’d love to see macho back on TV. Can he wrestle? I don’t know. Can Animal? Can Hogan? Does it really matter? Yes, but not that much. Bring back Macho. It will be worth it. But let’s talk about TV. Did you know there’s a PPV today? There is, I kid you not, it’s tonight. And I was tempted to go to the bar and see it. But I thought again, and realized that I’d be just as happy reading the results on the net. Why? Because all I really care about this show is if Angle wins or not. Now, I am also interested in Hardy vs Edge. That feud has really cranked it up a notch. But not enough for me to shell out $40. I have to pay that money for gas to get where to work, where at least they pay me to be tortured by mindless drivel and politics. So, you think Wevv thinks this week’s TV sucks ass? Wrong. There were some truly outstanding moments. So real greatness made it to TV this week. Let’s take a quick look. WWE TV – The Series Raw Recap Information provided by Carl “King Of Recappers” Walsh who will get double duty this weekend and Monday, and thus, is King. Welcome back Gerwitz, you hack. How was the basement? Think up some good angles? I thought not. Let’s hit the points. Big Show Happy go lucky. At least he’s on TV. Snitsky? Oh well. Edge and Angle Both cut excellent promos, based on ones from the PWA. And you know what? That’s not a bad thing. They worked well. Go figure. There’s a reason I say PWA is the best e-fed on the net. And not just because I’m in it. The talent level there is phenomenal. Shit, read Ham’s promo and tell me it doesn’t give you goose bumps. But it’s the emotion those two sent through the screen to the viewers. Intense, focused and not based on bullshit. They want to win, for reasons we can understand, even if we don’t like them. Lance Cade and Dick Murdoch OK, here’s the deal. It’s WWE making new stars, only they really aren’t. It the same guys they’ve been trying to inflict on us for years, only the faces have changed. It’s like this. Pick which one works for you. Dick: I’m so mean, I like to put cheese in my underpants and then shove rabid weasels in my pants! I’m mean I tell you! JUST MEAN! OR Dick: I’m going to hurt you and TAKE those tag team belts from you. One is weird and creepy and the other is tough and ornery. That’s my problem with these “New” stars. They go off target and it’s the same STYLE of push they receive. And when it starts to fail, instead of making the GUY more normal, they just push the creepy knob to 11. *Yes, I know it's Trevor and not Dick. But please. Who do you think they want you to think of when you see the guy and hear his name? Case in point: Viscera. He got over huge with the comedy. But the joke went right by the writing staff. So, they rushed the angle and now they think that his humping other guys is what people liked about him, instead of the greatest line of the year: “ Nachos. Give me them nachos!”. It was the big guy thinking he’s a sex machine and the chase of Lillian, with his food oriented dirty talk, not the scoring of Lillian. They just didn’t get it. Like the next guy: Chavo Chavo is a great talent who is in a doomed angle and knows it. It’s not racially charged Chavo that is the hook, it’s the Mexican Chavo acting white. The killer is, if Chavo was the one who was saying Mexicans are cool, instead of the Mexicools, he’d be over like that. He’s just like you. Only WWE doesn’t realize that the majority of the country doesn’t hate minorities. So it goes right past them. Into crap land. So, new stars, same crap. Only real difference is the faces have changed. Tyson Tomko Still on TV. And with Angle. Way to go buddy. Hang in there. It won’t last forever, and it shouldn’t to be honest, but hey, at least you’re not stabbing John Cena. Well, yet. Speaking of Cena and why I think Gerwitz is back, did you hear Cena’s promo? Yeah, that says it all. At least Kurt stepped up his game on ALL fronts. You can say HBK is putting Masters over, but Angle is actually doing it for Cena. HBK and Flair Whatever. It’s good to see the rookies working with the vets, and HBK is the Top Guy of the show, getting the H spot. Flair is now HBK’s pet, and it’s very likely that Flair will get the IC title. Masters has improved from this feud. Carlito, well, it’s not really doing anything for him, is it? We’ll find out Monday. Smackdown Recap Info Courtesy of Chad Matthews Chad, keep those CMV1 notes coming. I for one like them, and in my opinion, they add to the recaps. You have them at the end of the matches, so it really doesn’t take away from the match results. The big Friday debut on Smackdown was bumped last week, due to a Hurricane Katrina Benefit concert. However, there was one very good piece of news. It looks like everyone made the jump. The rating came in lower than it has been recently, but only slightly lower than average in the long run. Smackdown on Friday will do fine. In fact, the show was pre-empted in a number of markets. Take that into account and it looks like Friday might be a good place to wind up. The battle for Thursday night is heating up, as the other networks are unleashing big shows on Thursday. Two big shows are set to debut, Nightstalker, an X-Files type show and Reunion, a mystery show. Both are good shows that offer counter programming to the reality TV genre and NBC comedy genre. Smallville has also been moved to Thursday. In other words, UPN did WWE a favor. But WWE will never see it like that, as it wasn’t their idea and thus, must be bad. Schmucks. But what happened on the show? Let’s see… The show was taped the same night as Smackdown, so, since the Smackdown writers only were going off of that memo that Steph sent out, saying what she wanted to see on TV, and that was three months ago, they promptly stole the Raw open, and went with that, and just stuck Benoit, Christian, and Booker in there. Not a bad match, but the outside the ring crap made it weaker. Teddy and Cannon A huge announcement is made. Eddie is the Number One contender. Eddie shows why he should be in the Main Event Scene. He gets past the addict crap, hitting the Genius Creative points of being an addict, since they can’t let that go, and let him be, you know, good, and cuts a beautiful promo, using an old angle that Creative had no idea how to use before (a la Heidenreich). Eddie is the best actor in the entire promotion. He’s that good. He’s as good as the Rock, Mick Foley, and Austin. Even Batista was solid. It’s a classic feud in the making. But, since it’s week one, and folks like it, I can’t shake the feeling that it’s going to go to hell next week. Creative’s plan isn’t to make this feud work, but to make it suck, so that JBL can be thrust back into the title hunt. Or Undertaker. Effing politics. Road Warriors vs MNM Heidy now has his face painted like the Image Comics character chapel. It looks cool, but it’s still Heidy. You know, the guy just doesn’t have it. He has no presence in the ring, his work is not good, and if the face paint gimmick was given to Snitsky, Snitsky could make it work. Send the guy packing, tell him it’s “because your family needs you to be with them through this crisis”. It’s for the best. Kennedy vs Jobber Ken’s finishing move is cool, but it’s a neck injury waiting to happen. Doing it week after week…bad idea. Oh, and now Ken is a big goof. His mic work is slipping. Nunzio vs Batista I was hoping for more offense from Nunzio, with a Batista squash come back, but no. At least in the build up, Eddie showed again why he should be the Main Guy. Eddie is just pure gold. Orton vs Undertaker OK, who else thought the match would go into the moving van? Basic Taker match, and since he’s well rested, he put on a good match. Not great, but solid. The casket came out way too soon, and the video, taped before the show, scene of Taker in the casket was a lost cause. It did nothing. Although I spent more time wondering about it than paying attention to the match. Here’s what I came up with. The shot was done either before or after the show. It was Undertaker in the casket. The angle of the shot proves it was pre-taped. There was no camera man anywhere near enough to get that angle and the shot itself was framed so that only the interior of the casket could be seen. When the casket first showed up, I had flights of fancy that maybe it contained Paul Bearer, or even more scary, the Saint Al Wilson. So, Smackdown had a strong debut. The ratings came in, and against new shows, season premiers and encore showings of new shows, Smackdown got a 3.0. That is really good news. The top network rating for the night was a 6, and three is halfway there, and this is season premiere week. More will be coming, but Smackdown has a strong starting point to take over Fridays. It’s not out of reach, but it will need work. Get the cheese and rabid weasels ready. Quick random thoughts. Axe body spray for men will get you laid. Tag will get you laid. Bod will get you laid. By other men. Words From the Evil Internet Overlord Greetings shut ins and loosers! It is I, the EVIL INTERNET OVERLORD! I was such a hit on Wevv’s show, that I have claimed the spot that once belonged to Kane’s House, and now, can spread even more EVIL across the net! Like I don’t do enough of that already. Now, I have only a limited time, as my study hall is ending soon and I have to go to French class. French, the language of EVIL! So, as I use my schools computers to spread more evil across the Internet, BE WARNED! Je suis Mavias! The latest news from the locker room is that Johnny Ace is once again on the rampage. After such stunning success to destroy morale as the “Dress code for Midcarders only!” and “You want a push? You ain’t getting a push until you get a haircut and dye your hair blonde, like that sexy, sexy Heidenreich!”, and the “No travel arrangements through the office unless you know H personally!”. Johnny has begun a new code! Johnny’s latest brainfart is that wrestlers must be well groomed. Not where anyone can see, but where the sun doesn’t shine. He’s said that he will personally be inspecting people’s nether regional grooming habits. SO be warned and keep it trimmed! No one likes a jungle down there! Oh, and the ladies are excused, because no one likes hot chicks. HAHA! EVIL! You want more evil? You can’t get enough can you? Of course not! Everyone loves EVIL! Here’s the real scoop on the big Wrestlemania celebrity appearance. Vince only recently learned who Dave Chapelle is. He’s said to now be a big fan. There are rumors of making an angle out of the celebrity. Which Chappelle character is Vince thinking of? Are you ready? It’s evil, I tell you, EVIL! Here’s the scoop. As only the evil Internet Overlord can provide. The angle, and it’s still in the early stages revolves around a refrigerator. In this fridge, in the freezer is a box of pudding pops. One of the wrestlers goes into the freezer and steals them. The celebrity is so furious over this, he goes berserk and rampages through the ranks and eventually becomes the World Heavyweight Champion! That’s right! BILL COSBY! World Heavyweight CHAMPION! EVIL! Come on people, you really think Vince is in touch with current trends? He’s twenty years behind the times! Besides, all black people look the same to Vince. They look like jobbers. Vince didn’t even know Rock was black until H pointed it out to him, and look what happened? Rock was let go. Well, there’s the bell. I have to be late to class. Because I’m evil! And detention is where my most evil plans are hatched! Like my plans to ruin Candice Michelle’s Playboy debut! You know she was naked in a film? That you can rent for less than the price of the magazine? Hotel Erotica is the name. I’ve already released FREE pictures across the net! HAHAHA! She was also in Tomcats. Playing, what else? A stripper! And now, it’s time for me to leave this column, and let Wevv get all the cheap heat. HAHAH! EVIL! Stay Evil, but not too evil, as there can only be ONE Evil Internet Overlord and that’s me! Don’t you forget it! What else can I say, except it’s time for: Over-Analyzing Wrestling Today’s Topic: WWE Buys The Farm Well, it’s almost here. A magical night in the world of wrestling. WWE vs Everybody else. The Monday Night Wars are back! WWE is on USA and UFC and TNA are on Spike TV. It’s going to be something to argue over for weeks. In case you haven’t read it, and it’s definitely something you should, Tito covered, the WWE deal with Viacom. Wrath Of Tito – Did Viacom Make A Bad Investment in WWE? That’s in the past, and a great read, but let’s talk about the present and the future. WWE is now on USA. Who got the better deal? USA did. WWE made a bad deal. There’s a great line in the Observer about this. September 19th edition – Wrestling Observer Newsletter “Television revenue for the quarter was $10.4 million between Raw and the weekend house show, plus whatever money they make in ads on syndicated shows. Keep in mind that starting on 10/3, that number becomes 0…” Now, that statement is misleading. I believe that the $10.4 million reflects the amount WWE is paid to put the shows on the air. There was a lot more. But the big news is that WWE will not get any of the ad revenue from Raw on USA or any other show they put on USA. That means that if the product (WWE programming) becomes hot again, that WWE won’t make a dime off of it through TV. The flip side is that if the shows really start to suck, WWE won’t lose any money off of it through TV. In other words, if WWE becomes hot again and suddenly they have advertisers lined up, ready to plunk down tons of money to advertise their products on TV, USA will get that money. But, if WWE really turns to complete crap, WWE won’t lose money as advertisers flee in terror of having their name associated with WWE. Now, WWE has been making net news lately by going on a suing streak. They are threatening to take people to court left and right over the use of names and trademarks. What could be prompting this? Because they’re dicks? Well, yes, but it’s more than that. See, a big chunk of money is longer flowing to WWE. The loss of ad revenues hurts. Now that the time is fast approaching when the jump comes, WWE is looking around and seeing that they’re shit out of luck. They want that money back. One way to do it, is to make sure that all those names and rights they own make them some money some how. WWE is going to try and cash in however they can, and that means DVD’s, posters, so on and so forth. The Monday Night Wars are back and it’s time to get brutal and use the muscle to force the weaker guy to buckle under the pressure. I don’t think WWE is very concerned, but they are concerned. They have a loaded show, ready to start things off with a bang. And right now, that seems to be it, from both sides. The loss of ad revenue is going to have longer effects than just a heavy build for the first night. Locking up the legal rights is just the first step. The next is exploring ways to make money off of those names. That means more emphasis on merchandizing. On Thursday, there were more plugs for stuff you can buy. The Undertaker DVD. The Road Warriors DVD. The Bradshaw book was mentioned, even though it was written before the stock crash, and is now useless. Candice in Playboy, more experimenting with Cena catchphrases, to be put on shirts, hats, and stuff you can buy. This is when the side ventures, or everything but broadcast TV and PPV become more important than ever. The website, which under Shane McMahon has become a success, is now THE most important place to make a buck. Yet it all depends on one thing. You have to have strong television. Without a strong, likable TV presence, all your doing is pushing guys who the public doesn’t care about. And that mean they aren’t going to buy them. In any form. Would you buy a book written by Viscera? How about a best of DVD for Hardcore Holly? Would you be willing to subscribe to a service offered by WWE.com for a weekly column written by Batista? Probably not. If there is no emotional attachment to the person you are in effect selling, then there is no money to be made. So, once that loss of income is truly realized, i.e., the first full quarter without that income, expect things to look bleak. The hedging has already begun, as they have released Daniel Puder before his contract is up for renew. That’s a $250,000 amount lifted from the books. But more roster cuts will happen, as the fat needs to be supported. And it all boils down to the fact that Vince and his cronies wanted to go back to USA where they had some good years. In the end, they gave up more long term, and then they gained short term. I’m sure an argument was made that the deal would take pressure off of the Creative Department, but the fact is, the pressure is even greater. Now, they can’t afford to suck. Now, the appeal of individuals is more important than ever. The guys that fans like are the ones that will get fans to part with cash. The new deal with USA is done. There’s no turning back. On the one hand, it could be said that Vince has no faith in creative and just wanted to get paid. On the other, it could be said that Vince has no faith in creative, but has tremendous faith in his companies ability to cover up the mistakes that creative makes and turn a blunder into a positive. That’s all for today. Just one newsblurb that’s flying under the radar at the moment. Shane McMahon has been removed from the New Media Division. The website has come under the control of Chris Chambers, and now falls under the control of the television department and Kevin Dunn. Shane has been moved to take charge of the Magazine department, which is hitting hard times, as all magazines are suffering. He’s also got International department under his belt. QUICK PLUGS! The Movie Bar! The Movie Bar Forums The Project LOP Forums! LOP Columns Forum! LOP's Very Own PWA, Best E-Fed on the net. Period. All Your DVD Review Needs can be filled at : DVDFANATIC.COM Until Next Time, Thanks For Readin' and Thanks For Ridin' Wevv Mang mrwevv@mac.com Please label all email FEEDBACK. PICS & NEWS! Huge Rumor Killer on BIG Plans for John Cena!
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