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Submitted by Wevv Mang on Sunday, August 28, 2005 at 10:02 PM EST
Ridin’ With The Bossman – Signs Of The Apocalypse Greetings! Welcome to another edition of Ridin’ With The Bossman. The column that stopped the Summer of Hyatt dead in it’s tracks. Well, I’ll take credit for it. It’s also the column that Triple H and Steph use to enhance their marital bliss. Hell, while I’m at it, I’ll also claim that it’s the column that made Chris Jericho not resign with WWE. How’s that for hype? Anyhoo, Wevv Week is over, but you can still go back and enjoy it. Simply click the links below. WWE- The TV Series Read what BC, and Web Goddess Tina Ali, and Chad Matthews think about WWE! And there’s more! Wevv Week – Kane’s House Special No, I’m not going to explain what Bukake is. That’s what the net is for. Though some things man was not meant to know…. Wevv Week OAW – So You Want To Write For WWE? How about now? Still think it would be a fun job? I know I’d like to get paid for my ideas showing up on TV… Ridin’ With The Bossman Audio Show It’s in Quicktime format, so you’ll need that. On the audio show note, I’m think that I can do one a month. So, I’ll have the next one up sometime next month. I just have to figure out when. Also, that should give me time to work on some honest to goodness bits. I have some in mind, namely the Evil Internet Overlord, and I think folks will like that guy. I can’t promise a return on Man In Penguin Suit, but try to keep that guy out. Yes, I think I have my niche and it’s the Morning Zoo of IWC Radio. Stay tuned! So, now that shameless plugs are out of the way, how bout that PPV? WWE TV – The Series I basically have two weeks to cover, so it’s going to be a little hodge-podge. Summerslam Recap Info provided by Carl “Hardest Working Man in Recapping” Walsh Raw 8/22 Recap Info provided by Carl Walsh Smackdown 8/25 Recap Info provided by Chad Matthews Welcome Back Chad! Where to begin? The week leading up to Summerslam was Top Notch, well, except Smackdown had some hiccups. But I did wind up buying the PPV, and am glad I did. It was a great show. Raw after SummerSlam was also a solid show, and Smackdown is trying to move in a new direction. That direction being towards Good. And it made some progress. So let’s do match by match coverage and see how we got there and where were going. Benoit vs OJ It was a: 25 squash match and frankly I see nothing wrong with that. The promo on Smackdown was brief, and Benoit said he going to beat him and that was it. Nice. And then the match happened and yes, OJ had a big bandage on his shoulder to cover his loss, but the crowd went nuts for Benoit squashing OJ, and that is a good thing. On Smackdown last Thursday, Benoit made a cup of coffee in the time it took to win the belt. Beautiful. Just beautiful. See, here’s the thing, does anyone think OJ is on Benoit’s level? No? Then he should just squash OJ mercilessly. It does two things. First, it frees Benoit up from trying to do the Gettysburg Address promos. Second, it helps the US title. The US title is basically a worthless belt. But now, it’s possible that the US title could outshine the Big Belt. Which is fine, in rare occasions. Such as this. It’s part of my booking philosophy, and may not be shared by many. But I’ll try to explain it. 1) A very hot feud between two superstars can make folks sit up and take notice of the belt. It shouldn’t be a prolonged feud, but a two monther, or three monther is fine. If the main belt is being held by a less than stellar champion, who is not going to wrestle every week, then a hot feud can bolster the slack as it were. Then when the belt changes hands, it has a mystique about it, that the person who gets it may not be equal too, but it gives them a running start. 2) If two main eventers are not in the title picture for the big belt, or are moving out of that scene it’s still a title they can fight over. 3) It gives the big belt breathing room to put together an angle. The Big Champ can do one shot matches, to keep the belt hot, but if there’s no angle involved, it will take some time (or it should) to get set up. 4) It refreshes the lore of the secondary title. So now, instead of referencing a feud from 1965, which is beyond dated, there is a new chapter to take it’s place, something that fans have actually seen. From an angle standpoint, I think it’s time for JBL to start losing. The guy has cluttered up the title scene for long enough and folks are just tired of the guy. Matt Hardy vs Edge So, this was the big match? Good grief. Not good, just not good. Matt gets to have a losing streak. Just like old times, eh Matt? He’s got a shirt that says “I Will Not Die” Fine, but kill the angle will you? Unless Matt starts really getting some revenge, it’s not worth the TV time. Eddie vs Rey Ladder Match So that’s what happened to Edge’s briefcase! Hell of a match. Crazy, but enjoyable. A great finish to this feud that has driven me nuts. Honestly, I don’t think you can top the intensity of that match, so separate them for a while and see what happens. And in terms of angles, there’s not much left to exploit. Eddie almost beat the kid, he can start beating his wife I guess, but let’s not go there. And Dominick can stay with Rey and get off TV. Everyone wins. Angle vs Eugene I loved this match for one simple reason. The crowd turned on the retard. Angle was great, and just beat the hell out of Eugene without going all creepy on him, which is a good thing. Why did the crowd turn? It’s not hard to figure out. When you have Hulk Hogan appearing and wrestling later in the show, those “tribute” moves Eugene does don’t cut it. The crowd booed when he acted like Hogan. They booed when he wasn’t wrestling, period. They cheered the Rock Bottom because it’s a move. They cheered the stunner because it was a move, not punchy-punchy kick. That’s what they wanted. That’s what they were hoping for. See, casual fans aren’t stupid. They do remember stuff. Stuff like seeing Eugene wrestle. Remember that? It’s what I was hoping for against Angle, and instead what I got was acceptable, due to Kurt, but Eugene didn’t do squat, and I was hoping he would. Angle then moved into position Monday to challenge Cena. I think that’s a good move. Angle is on a roll right now, being a badass. Angle should be able to get a good match out of Cena, and hopefully, Cena will pick up some moves other than punch and kick. Undertaker vs Orton A good match. It really was. Taker did some actual moves, and then promptly took some time off. Which is to be expected. And Taker did the job. Sure, the old fart had to run in and give Randy the win, but it was a job. The sad part came Thursday, when Orton and his dad had to plug the Undertaker DVD as payment for the lame ass win. Now, there are rumors that Orton is going to match up against Batista. I think that’s a bad move for one simple reason. When Taker’s vacation is over, he’s going to want that win back. Sure, the count it tied right now, but dammit, Taker is a veteran, and veterans have to win! So Orton goes against Batista, Taker comes back and just mercilessly squashes the kid, because Angle got to beat the hell out of the retard So, an angle with Batista is not in Orton’s favor. Because the end will be the same. Orton will be squashed by Taker and then, maybe Taker can go after Batista, and you know who’s going to come out ahead in that match up and it’s not Batista. Jericho vs Cena A really good match that got off to a slow start, but sucked the crowd in at the end. I’m glad it was given a lot of time, as suddenly, I believed that Jericho was going to win and it was cool. Then he lost and it was the same old situation I’ve seen Jericho in for the last three years. Granted, Jericho was going to take some time off, and there are plenty of rumors floating around that Jericho is headed to TNA. Let’s talk about that now. Jericho In TNA First, there is one huge obstacle to this happening that folks seem to be overlooking. Pay. Jericho was earning nice money in WWE. Let’s say he was making $600,000. Now, in TNA, that pay would drop to what? $2,500 a week? Maybe? So, that’s a drop of over half a mil. From 600 to 140. Maybe. It’s an easier schedule, but the fact is, Jericho has appeared on almost every single show since he started. He’s been there every week and Vince knows that. Jericho may be hated by H and Steph, but Vince respects Jericho’s work ethic. The guy shows up, puts in his best effort, and gets handed loss after loss for his trouble. The guy has earned some time off. And who knows how long it will be. It could be six months. The reason for his departure isn’t surprising. WWE hasn’t offered Jericho any respect. His Unified Title run ended when Steph joined him, and he was picking up dog shit. Your first ever Unified Champion picked up dog shit. Nice. Since then, he hasn’t had a title shot till now. A singles shot that is. But the future looks bright for Jericho. Outside of the WWE he is respected. VH1 loves him and there is no reason a reality show can’t be made out of Fozzy and touring and VH1 Would jump at the chance. Hollywood is tricky, but the guy has tons of talent. A buddy movie with Rock would suck the wrestling fans in. And I think it would work too. His radio career is still going and he can make it better. Syndication is a definite possibility. And the kicker is, it could have all been WWE’s if they made the right moves, but they decided they didn’t need him. So, the end result is, Jericho has a chance to move on and come back. The way he left should not be overlooked either. He lost a loser gets fired match, and was fired. He went out with style, losing twice in consecutive nights to Cena to help put him over. Bradshaw vs Batista A fairly quick match with a good ending. Batista just crushed Bradshaw. Slammed him onto the ring steps. Nice. And that puts the capper on that feud. But politics swirl already. Batista has been getting flack for his ring work lately. Folks seem to forget that when Eddie and Bradshaw had their feud last year, that Eddie snapped because the JBL sucked as a worker, and Eddie had to blade like a stuck pig to get his matches over. Batista has had some good matches, against good workers. So has Bradshaw. But Batista is the champ and has a strong following. Batista should be the number one guy, and not be verbally buried like he has. It looks like Smackdown is trying to find a new match up for both men. And that’s a good thing. Hogan vs HBK HBK oversold like there was no tomorrow. And it worked. The match had passion and psychology. And Hogan won. Which is why he’s the smartest man in wrestling. Who would have thought that he’d be headlining Summerslam in 2005? Not me. WM maybe, but not a mid year PPV Folks are upset at the rumors swirling out of backstage. That Hogan didn’t want to do the job. Well, no kidding. HBK wanted Hogan to have a rematch in a cage. Why? Look folks. Hogan is old. Hogan is greedy. Hogan has complete control, which HBK knew going in. HBK didn’t get his way. He still put on a hell of a show, but if it were anyone other than HBK, the crusty IWC would be pissing on the whole thing. Now, the Raw in Montreal promo was a thing of beauty. Just a great way to play the audience. HBK has loads of talent, but again, this is the same guy who freaked out over doing the job to Bret hart, and was a rat bastard about it. Now here’s Hogan, who is ten times the star, ten times the politician, and HBK has a problem doing the job. Hogan is not a full time wrestler. Expecting Hogan to jump at the chance to do another match, this time in a cage, is ridiculous. They guy has his eye on the long term. WM. Because he’s smart. He’s not going to jeopardize his health for a pointless rematch. Just so HBK can get his win back. Deal with it HBK. Welcome to Jericho’s world. HBK is still phenomenally over. The net fans are creaming their jeans over him. He’ll be fine. After all, HBK is no backstage politician like Hogan is. He’ll take the high road and make Master’s a star. Pass the torch so to speak. HBK would never refuse to pass the torch. Right Shelton Benjamin? Random notes from TV Shelton vs Angle was amazing. It’s too bad that Shelton is going to get stuck with Kerwin White in a nice racial angle. Which will be OK, because we have a Spic saying those racial comments, and that makes it funny, right? Please. Carlito’s Cabana His guest was Ric Flair. I have to say, this was loaded with potential. Carlito gave a heel interview the likes of which I haven’t seen in a long time. It reminded me of old school heel tactics. It was a thing of beauty. I could see Ric was loving it. It was a perfect springboard for Ric to use and use he did, running wild like the days of old. Carlito’s dad taught Carlito well. I’ve always said that Carlito was an old school style heel. Well, maybe not in those exact words, but I have said that Carlito works a style similar, and has the mannerisms of an old school heel. A Carlito vs Ric feud could be a thing of beauty, but it won’t happen. See, Ric is H’s pet, and no one else gets to use Ric except H. The NETWORK! Man, where’s Cyrus when you need him? This new take on the network administrator sucks ass. The guy shouldn’t have said anything until they were on UPN, in only two weeks time. Instead, he’s just like every other flunky we’ve seen on TV for the past three years. Absolutely nothing special. Introduce him, yes, but not have him be a player. Yet. That guy should have been in the background, on a phone non-stop, and let everyone wondering who he is. He could have stopped the chick match, and not given any excuse as to why. Just “No.”. THEN When they move to Friday’s he turns heel and starts running the show, or trying to run the show. But that is a should have, could have, if only situation. What we have is just another scrub, getting a big push, for a self-satisfying angle, to amuse management. And we all know how those turn out. I wonder, have they ever seen those old ECW tapes of Cyrus? That guy was incredible in that role. Hell, if they actually used Cyrus, it would have said volumes with any words needed. Nope, instead we got whoever the hell that guy is. The name alone should suggest this guy’s pecking order. Make up your own innuendo and it’s not hard. Fresh from the Room, it’s Palmer Cannon! Many people seem to look forward to this character due to the fact that he reminds them of what used to be. I’m saying that this guy won’t be what you expect. He won’t be good. He’s already shot his wad and his big surprise and what is he going to do now? He’s stopped a segment. HE will stop others. And there’s two week till the move. So he’s got two more shows to go. Hope for the best, expect the worst. That’s all I’m saying. Chick Trade Torrie Wilson and Candace Michelle are now on Raw and Christy and Stacy are on Smackdown. Why? No one knows for sure. One reason I can come up with is that now both shows have Divas Search winners. Also on Smackdown, they now have two chicks that stand out from the rest of the Big Boob crowd. Stacy is tall and skinny and Christy is a redhead. While on Raw, Torrie gets to work with Trish again, and that could be good. Candace, well, she has big boobs. And is a brunette. And she just left Raw a few weeks back to go to Smackdown and now she’s back. Maybe Randy Orton had something to do with it, I don’t know. What I do know is that a chick trade, long after the roster change, is not a good thing. Good things may happen from it, but in the long run, well, they fired Gail Kim, didn’t they? And kept Sable. I’m hoping for the best. I would love to see Trish vs Torrie. I miss Trish on my TV. And now I can have two hot chicks, who know how to work with each other, and one who is desperate to keep her job and will use that as motivation, can have a feud. Ken Kennedy Another angle/gimmick that shot it’s wad when it hit the screen. Right off the bat, without bothering to tell us who he is, we got way more information than we needed or wanted to. The guy was boring. He sounds no different than any other ring announcer. He’s generic. So he can announce, so can Coach, so can Tony Chimmel, so can Funaki. Announcing is about personality. And volume. If you have both, you can call yourself a successful announcer. Like Finkel. But this guy, who the hell is he? Do I care? No. I cared about Funaki and this scrub just beat him. So he can talk instead of wrestle. I didn’t even see the match, just heard the result form the next room. But on the bright side, two new angles are being brewed on Smackdown. It’s just that they were rushed to TV, instead of being given time to develop. It’s was a ‘Hey! Look at this! We’re New!” type of push, and now that the surprise is over, there’s really no where for them to go. Except the typical WWE creative place, which is down. But they could work. It’s a possibility. They may have something in store that blows us all away. But what do you think the odds are of that? Still, it’s a glimpse of hope. For now. Over-Analyzing Wrestling Today’s Topic: Bring the Family! I’ve noticed a recent trend on TV. Wrestlers families are getting into the act. It’s not really something new, but the sheer number of them now has me wondering what is going on. Let’s take a look at the ones who have family with them on the road. Booker T and Sharmell Rey Mysterio and Family Eddie Guerrero and Wife – just made a PPV appearance Benoit and Son – He’s said in interviews that he’s traveling with his son Oddly enough all these are now on Smackdown. Benoit was on Raw, now he’s not. I can’t think of any from Raw. But I can think of one that might happen, now that the ice has been broken. I wonder what caused this. Oh, I don’t think it’s a bad thing, but I’m curious about it. Given the creepy vibe the WWE workplace has, well, at least form management, I’m curious why people would risk having their personal lives turned into writer fodder. You really think Benoit wants his kid anywhere near Heidenriech? Hell and No. He may be Johnny Ace’s boyfriend, but that doesn’t make him any less of a creepy guy. But I can think of two reasons for wives to suddenly become interested in what their husbands do on the road. Aside from trying to find a way to spend quality time with their spouse that is. Lita and Edge Scandal All the wives heard about this one. Guaranteed. The fact that one wrestler cheated on his still new wife with one of his friend’s girl is just the attention getter. The fact that the guy who was wronged got fired? That was the shocker. It was blanket permission from management to cheat on your wife and they would look the other way. Hell, depending on your spot on the card and political pull, you could even get a push out of it, and the other guy would get fired. Dawn Marie’s Baby Some one knocked her up. And that some one is being protected. Rumors swirl, and speculation runs rampant. But the facts are: Dawn Marie is pregnant, and she just got let go. Now, if it was some scrubby fan, that would be no big deal. But the secrecy around this indiscretion is like a signal flag to the nosy. Myself especially. But again, management did nothing to punish the guy who did the deed, and by not acting, seemed to condone the action depending on your status on the card. So, wives want to keep an eye on their man. Maybe not because they don’t trust them, but the code of the road is long and it’s integrity holds up for the most part. What happens on the road stays on the road. And personal demons are allowed to crop up and trysts happen. But perhaps the best way to combat that is to keep your family close. One guy who I think is instrumental in letting this happen is probably Ted DiBiase. The guy is a minister after all. And I think it’s a good idea. It’s tough to talk about foot fetishes when there are kids present, or some one’s wife is nearby. It still happens, but when they have to explain it to the guy who is going to be lusting after Moolah’s feet, the wife, who knows the business probably better than you think AND has contact with the outside world, can at least give a disapproving look. It may not do her husband any favors, but at least some one is giving some feedback that’s not ass kissing. Now, there is one dark side to this little random thought and it ties into the title for today’s column. See, there’s one power couple who were removed from TV. Now that the barrier is lowering, it might signal a return. Steph and H They ran rampant over the programs in the early part of the millennium. They sucked the life right out of the show and sent it into a spiral of decline. But the one factor that came through loud and clear was that Steph loves being on TV. She got huge watermelons put into her chest for that simple reason. Now, all the chicks have cartoon boobs. Well, almost all of them. The ones that get on TV at least do. The rumors of Steph returning crop up every year, sometimes two or three times. But this time, I think it’s going to happen. Recently, on the MTV show punked, H was the subject of a prank. No one seems to have seen that show as no recaps or synopsis have surface that I am aware of. But it did happen. H has been removed from TV for about two months now. It’s been nice as HBK has stepped in to fill that void and fill it well. Who needs H? Steph can be subtle. Make no mistake that woman has more cunning in her little toe than the most jaded net writer has in his whole body. She’s a woman in a man’s world and world dominated by Vince. She has held her job for four years, amidst sagging ratings, sagging revenue, and calls for her head from every quarter. She’s still there. What I have seen is a slow tactic. Chicks with huge tits on TV. Wives on TV now. Occasional forays into the realm out side of WWE TV, like press conferences, and so forth, to ease her TV fix. Then there are the recent spate of family angles. Angles which require a wife. It’s not a coincidence. It’s a soap opera plot, but one that is for married couples. WWE loves to throw personal stuff onto TV, like Haas and Jackie. Now with the “success” of the Matt/Lita/Edge angle, and the wildly successful Rey/Eddie feud, I’m beginning to think that Steph is getting that itch again. The itch to get back on TV. H will be returning soon. I’m surprised that Ric was set free, but I suspect it’s only so he can remind folks that H is the greatest ever and pave the way for his return. And I do believe that Steph will make a return as well on Smackdown. I do believe this is no drill but the real thing. I got a hunch. That’s all, but being the paranoid type, I felt it wise to issue an alert. Things are looking up for WWE. The angles that WWE wanted to work, didn’t to their satisfaction, that means new ideas are being used, and that means panic to the hardliners. Control is slipping away, drastic steps have to be taken and what more drastic step than having Steph get back on TV. TO combat the UPN censor no less. As a member of upper management of course. H comes back to Raw and promptly squashes HBK and Cena and Angle in one feel swoop, gets his title back and promptly runs the show into the ground with HALF HOUR PROMO! He’s got to make up time. Yep, hope for the best and brace for the worst. Storm’s a comin’…. That’s all for today. I’m running late, and this sucker has got to get up, so quick plugs and that’s a wrap. QUICK PLUGS! The Movie Bar! The Movie Bar Forums The Project LOP Forums! LOP Columns Forum! LOP's Very Own PWA, Best E-Fed on the net. Period. Until Next Time, Thanks For Readin' and Thanks For Ridin' Wevv Mang mrwevv@mac.com Please label all email FEEDBACK.
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