Take up thy wrestling boots and walk - Michaels vs. Masters, Divas, Jericho, More
Submitted by Pt2 on Sunday, August 28, 2005 at 3:18 PM EST





Welcome once again to the column that tells children to burn things, Take up thy wrestling boots and walk. I’m the man who tells the column to burn Justin Timberlake, Pt2, back once again with a formulaic intro to bring you comfortably into his wrestling column. Now, that didn’t hurt too much, did it?

We’ve just had the biggest money match of the year a short time ago, and after Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels, I have to ask myself, is Shawn Michaels the MVP of the WWE? Seriously, here is a guy having money matches that are popular with most fans, after being in the ring for pushing two decades and suffering a serious back injury. If you didn’t like his match with Jericho, you liked his stuff with Angle. If you didn’t like his match with Hogan, you liked his work with Hunter and Benoit. Face it, even after all this time, all the rumours, the crazy night life, the hellacious matches, the even more hellacious back injury, and every other thing that you can say about the Heartbreak kid - he can go almost as well now as he could in 1997, and I do believe that is saying something.

And I think it might be just about to get better. He’s had the money match against the aging Hulkster, and lost it (and it’s a shame if the rumours about politicking are true, and they appear to be, because a 2 out of 3 series between the two could have been priceless from a business standpoint), and now he is moving onto facing the young stud, Chris Masters.

OK, I’ll wait for the collective whine of the Internet to silence itself.





Done now? Good. Face it, Masters is going to get pushed, and for the short time he’s had, isn’t looking too bad. Compare him to where Cena and Orton were at this stage, and you’ll see he’s not too far off the pace. His ring work looks solid, if not inspirational, and with the right guy, Masters can learn a lot, and really start to improve.

Guess who the right guy is?

Not only can Masters learn from HBK (and if he has any sense in the world, he’ll try to get every last bit that he can out of this because it could make or break him), but there is also an advantage for us, the viewers: Masters is considerably taller than HBK.

OK, there is probably more groans there, and a few “why do I wanna see Michaels getting beat up by a Hoss?” comments, but think about it this way. Michaels has made a career out of having great matches with big men. He’s had some great matches with smaller guys too, but for my money, Shawn Michaels is at his best when he fights wrestlers larger than himself, or more powerful than himself, and he sells their offence. It seems almost pointless to compare Shawn Michaels to anyone, because ultimately, Shawn Michaels didn’t become the next anyone but the first Shawn Michaels, but if I had to compare him to anyone, it would be Ricky Morton, and say that the more Michaels takes, and sells, and the more he gets the shit kicked into him - unfortunately for him - the better the match. Paul Heyman said of Mikey Whipwreck “He took a bump with such sympathy” and the same can be said of Shawn Michaels.

When I think of great storytelling matches that feature Shawn Michaels, I don’t think back to the Ironman match, or his fast paced encounters with Owen Hart, Chris Jericho, or Kurt Angle. And it’s not because they are bad, because they are usually the match of the night on any given card. What matches do I think of, if not the fast, quick reversal, hit a move then off the rope type contest?

Matches against less obvious opponents, such as Davey Boy Smith, Sid Eudy, Kevin Nash, and Scott Hall - all wrestlers with significant height of weight advantages over Shawn, and it become a clash between size and speed - Shawn made himself a star with this kind of contest, and is good enough to have another classic - and Chris Masters is just the right size to do it again. And if Shawn can work with Sid, there is a very good chance he can get similar or better results from Masters. Easy logic, really.

Of course, now they have to go and do it. Hopefully, this Masterlock challenge will turn into a Match, the whole thing means Masters can stop pretending to be Lex Luger, and we get a decent contest somewhere down the line.

Speaking of one of Shawn Michaels famed opponents.... Chris Jericho! Whats going on there then, eh? I’ll tell you. Absolutely nothing. Sorry TNA fans, I’m as disappointed as you are because he’d be a better fit there, but I can’t see Jericho coming down to TNA just yet. I’ll keep this little bit short and sweet with something reminiscent of Vince McMahon himself - No chance in hell.

It’s all change on the Diva scene, and to quote John C. McGinlay, “if you listen real close, you’ll hear the familiar sound of no-one caring”. OK, maybe that is a little harsh, because I’m sure a few people do, but seriously, an all diva feud? again? Candace may have looked absolutely fantastic on RAW, but I don’t particularly want to see her vs. Ashley or Annie or Anastacia or whatever this new girls name is for the next two months, and then the same with Torrie Wilson, when its a wrestling show and naked hot girls are widely available in other places. Yeah, ok, I know it’s stereotypical of me to come out and blast it every time they put two non wrestlers in a feud, but I hate it, and I’m going to keep doing it every time they do. Especially when they have the best way to use a diva nailed with Stacy Keibler, managing, and the occasional match in her underwear. If your going to have ladies feuds and matches, then have ladies wrestlers. If your going to have eye candy.... well, you can work the rest out for yourself. Hopefully Trish will be back off the injured list soon and can get involved in that feud, because I think it’s the only chance the whole thing has for any success at all.

Now, I’ll run through some other news in brief:

I was going to write something here about a Snitsky foot fetish, but I’m not entirely certain that I have the stomach for it. Good to see Benoit winning the US title, it should be the big strap but at least this means he’ll be on my screen regularly, guaranteed. Ric Flair elbowing the canvas is one of the few things from WCW that worked in the WWE, so screw the nWo, that was hilarious. Kurt Angle against Shelton was an absolutely great match, thoroughly enjoyed it. John Cena is learning to sell, thats nice to see, great job from him selling the Walls of Jericho when trying to pick Y2J up, and oh look, Edge and Hardy is being built up nicely. All in all, not too bad a state really.

For everyone who voted or liked the idea, the first induction of the wrestling fans hall of fame is completed! To find out who had enough public support to enter, visit www.wrestlingfanshof.co.uk, and check it out now.

That’ll do it for this one. Hope you enjoyed it. Reach me at takeupthywrestlingboots@gmail.com if you want to send feedback, it’s all appreciated.

Thanks for reading, take care of yourselves

Pt2








*NEW GALLERY* The VERY CREEPY Pix of Hulk Hogan Rubbing His Daughter Brooke!

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