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Submitted by Randomguy#5 on Sunday, July 24, 2005 at 7:15 PM EST
Special Edition Mick Foley Hit on my Girlfriend As you’ll soon tell, the events occurred roughly two years ago, but I promise its as timeless a tale as you’ll ever find on a wrestling site, and this is a story I’ve always wanted to be able to share here. I know that there are at least a handful of people that have come to enjoy my "regular" columns, and I know that posting "old" material isn’t exactly a great move, but trust me when I say that you guys will enjoy this. Next week will be the return of the Top Ten "Random Acts of Wrestling" so be sure to email me your lists, reader participation with that has been downright crappy. Just email me your ten favorite events, people or storylines going on in wrestling right now. Likewise, I’ll bring back all the usual bells and whistles then. Until that time, I know you will all enjoy this updated version of what I believe to be among the coolest experiences in my life, and hopefully when it’s all over, you’ll forgive me for taking a week off of the normal stuff. Part 1: Mick and Montego’s About two years ago, it was announced that there would be a charity-wrestling event to be held at a local high school, just down the round from my college. A few wrestlers who’s names I recognized, including Harley Race were wrestling, but the name that caught my attention on the flyer, was the same name that caught your attention in the title: Mick Foley. Now, he wasn’t going to be wrestling, and I can’t say that surprises me. After all, I’m quite sure the WWE brass wouldn’t approve of such a thing, and even if they didn’t care, can do you honestly think Foley is in shape to be taking bumps for free at this point in his career? I’m sure the man loves the biz and all, but I just wouldn’t expect it of him, though I’m sure he’s capable. Nonetheless, I couldn’t help but salivate at the opportunity. I had no interest in seeing a bunch of no names competing, including the main event featuring Fulton High School’s wrestling coach (who won by the way, and made the front page of the paper). However, some how I dreamt, that lost in what was sure to be night of bad wrestling, would be the opportunity of a lifetime, the chance to meet, and hopefully even interview Mick Foley. I debated for weeks what I would ask such a legend, given the opportunity. At one point I even considered not going. I’m just not a big enough pro-wrestling fan to enjoy random flunkies put on a show to benefit the untied way. I apologize to any one who performs, or may be otherwise offended by that comment, but with general admission seats being $10, and front row being $25, I just wasn’t having it. Call me cheap, but it’s just not my cup of tea. I’m a broke college student first and foremost, wrestling fan second. Whatever brought Foley to Fulton, MO though; I knew had to be something special. So I couldn’t help but think, just maybe, I’d get my dream shot. I’ve been a huge fan of Mick’s since I really started to get back into wrestling about five or six years ago. While I was still a casual fan, I used to love tuning in to watch him banter with The Rock and feud with HHH. I own one of his movies; I’ve read both of his books. I couldn’t miss this chance, or I’d never forgive myself. So, I prepared some questions to ask The Hardcore legend, took his book, a camera, and my list of questions and prepared to drive up to Montego’s, a local restaurant that was selling tickets. While on my way to the Applebee’s rip off, I called my friend Jason from my cell phone and told him I’d be by shortly to borrow his tape recorder. I really didn’t anticipate getting an interview, but was going all out in the event that I did, particularly because I wanted to ask him questions about the WWE’s view of the Internet wrestling community. When I arrived at Montego’s, I stopped to talk to the girl at the counter seating customers, and told her that I only needed to buy tickets to the United Way wrestling event at Fulton High School that evening. She informed me that they only had general admission tickets left, which I thought sucked, since I was quite sure I’d have no chance at getting noticed that way. Oh well, I thought. Nothing beats waiting in the parking lot anyway, and far be it from me to complain about sitting in the nosebleed section. The waitress informed me that I’d have to speak with one of her managers. As I cursed myself for not getting tickets sooner, I noticed Pardon the Interruption was on in the corner of the bar TV. Cool, its one of my favorite shows. But the gaze into the bar, while waiting on the manager to come deliverith me my tickets to forums heaven, proved to be more meaningful than the tickets themselves. Sitting at the bar, with his back to me, was a large man, with an amazing head of hair, wearing red flannel. "No" I thought. That shit can’t be happening. The manager came out, a smallish women who’s head I gazed over the entire time she was talking in an attempt to determine what was going on in the bar behind her. "Who is that?" I asked, knowing damn good and well who it was, but thinking that maybe she’d tell me it was some drunk impersonating Foley. "That’s Mick Foley" she replied. Looking at me like an idiot. I found that amusing. "How long is he here?" I asked. Still peering into the bar behind the restaurant. "Till five. Would you like any tickets?" I was ignoring her looking for a clock. Damn, PTI was doing their "Mail Time" segment. I knew I was running out of time. "How long of a line is there?" I asked, already getting nervous. My god, I felt like a dork. "None at the moment." I left to go outside to my truck and get my copy of Foley Is Good. When I came back I wandered into the bar, and found Mick talking with a family, namely the middle aged man heading it. I couldn’t help but notice how huge his legs, stomach and ass looked, Mick’s not the middle-aged guy. Foley was wearing red sweat pants with Winnie the Pooh for God’s sake, he consumed the chair. Another smallish women informed me, that it would cost me five dollars to have my book autographed, which I gladly forked over. I was reeling, trying to figure out how I would ask for this interview, standing face to face with a guy who’s bled in countries I couldn’t spell. Imagine my surprise when the first words out of Foley’s mouth were "Have we met before?" "Probably, " I said, trying to sound cool like I was actually somebody important, not random guy#5 in a bar in the middle of nowhere. "You look really familiar" Mick then asked my name, and the correct spelling before autographing the book, when I popped the question. "Hey, I write a column for an online wrestling website, and I was wondering if there was any chance I could get you to answer a couple of questions for me?" "Ah, Geez, well uh, that depends, what kinda questions?" Foley asked, smiling at everyone else in line, which damn it all had to be forming behind me. No crowd when I get there, 20 people in line behind me. What the hell? "Nothing you can’t talk your way out of if you don’t want to answer" I said, trying to make Mick "detect the aroma of my culinary efforts" to steel one of his lines. "Well, uh" he said quietly, rubbing his hands across his face. "I’m really not supposed to answer any questions." He was only whispering now. I had now moved off to the side of Mick, allowing the line to continue to flow. I was hoping to still get in a few questions. Mick kept looking around the room, I couldn’t tell if he was blowing me off, or looking at the line, or looking for somebody in particular. "Ok, well how about just one question" I asked, being moved out the door, by the crowd, or someone who worked there, I really didn’t notice. It was a small room, and I was preoccupied. Perhaps there was no one at all, and I was just wilting under the pressure. "Ok, shoot." God, I felt like I was being pitied. "How much weight have you lost?" There. That was it. The weakest of all my questions. I was just trying to get in something. Mick laughed, and asked how much I thought he’d lost. "I don’t know honestly, 25? 50? I was embellishing, but I was still hoping to get more from Mick. "It’s just that you look a whole lot thinner since SummerSlam, or when you were referring, with Nash." Yeah, I know, that wasn’t SummerSlam, and I meant to say Hell in a Cell, but I was talking really fast, and he had begun to sign autographs and talk to other fans, the bastards. Fuckin kids, and their grandmothers, don’t they know who I am? "Well, uh," Mick was still laughing, "Actually I had lost about 25 before that point, and I’ve only lost about 15 since then, but yeah thanks anyway. Glad to know it looks better. Thanks for coming…he was now talking to someone else." I said thanks and told him he looked much better on TV these days, but at this point was all but being ignored, so I gave up and left him to the other minions. I left through the restaurant, still not buying tickets. I had gotten my autograph, and made my feeble little attempt at getting an interview. I was down right jittery given what had happened, but felt like a bit of a tool for choking out and coming off like another dipshit fan, which I certainly am. I then called Jason and told him, I’d not be needing that tape recorder, since I had already met Foley, and seen no point in going. Maybe I still should have gone, and pushed for an interview with Harley Race, or enjoyed the best of independent wrestling that this no name federation had to offer. But I had tentative plans to drink with friends that night, and thought, "hey what the hell, I’ll scrap the wrestling plans and have everybody over to do some drinking." I then went to my (then) girlfriend’s dorm room, to tell her about our new plans, as we’d no longer be going to the old grappling show. Part 2: Winston Churchill? I went over to tell the girl my kickass story about meeting Foley. I didn’t get all that I wanted, and I certainly didn’t get Mick’s undivided attention, but I was crazy excited about it nonetheless. She wasn’t there, so I was chatting, ok rambling excitedly like an 11yr old girl at a Rascal Flats concert, when my cell phone rang. My girlfriend, on the other end, and the only way I can describe her, was freaking out. "OH MY GOD! YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE WHO I’M WALKING TO THE CHURCHILL MEMORIAL WITH!!??" "Oh, I bet I do." I was already leaving, as she began saying Mick Foley. It was odd, I could here Mick talking to her in the background. I jumped in my truck and drove the three blocks or so up to the Winston Churchill Memorial and Library my school offers as a tourist attraction to the fine people of Fulton Missouri. (Somewhere, all my UK readers are marking out) When I arrived, I pulled up and parked to see Mick Foley, standing there, alone, chatting it up with my girlfriend. And of course, I’m a guy. And a jealous one at that, so I laughed to myself as I thought, "Mick Foley is hitting on my girlfriend." I jump outta my truck, and Foley chuckles a jolly, yet toothless, laugh and says, "yeah I remember you, my god you look familiar." "That’s because I look like you Mick, we’re both big and hairy." Now, I don’t have half as much hair as Mick, and I’m not quite as big (close) and I still have all my teeth. All right, so really I don’t look much like Mick Foley, but I’ve got his facial hair nailed. He laughed and proceeded to explain a few general wonderings I was having, without me really asking. Turns out, Mick is friends with Harley Race, and was doing a show with him months back, when Harley asked if Mick could help him out with this show. Mick checked, and seen he was giving a speech in Emporia, Kansas, a few hours from here and said sure what the hell. He wasn’t originally going to, but Harley said it was all for charity, so since he wasn’t gonna be able to pay Mick, they’d set up an autograph session or two to help him pay for travel expenses. Mick said he thought about giving it to the charity, but then decided, "Nah, I’ll hang on to that." Great, there went my five bucks, to buy him new ring attire. I made a joke to Julie, about how Mick must be scared people were gonna be mean to him, he was wearing Pooh. (Inside joke from one of his books) Foley laughed, and pointed at me saying "right, very good." I passed the Foley book test. Mick expressed some very mild discontent over the fact that our school’s facilities were closed for the evening, it was six in the evening here, they close at five, but he was very open to conversation at that point. "So what was Churchill doing here anyway?" Mick asked. The guy really was into this. "How does the Prime Minister end up in Fulton, Mo?" "It was kind of a ‘friend of a friend’ thing." I responded. "The president of the college at the time was old war buddies with somebody who knew Churchill." I was trying desperately to sound like I knew what I was talking about. Truth is, I do to a degree, but I was really trying to impress the hardcore legend. "Oh, ok. But why was it such a big deal?" "Well, he gave a big speech here and…" "Right, right, but Churchill gave a lot of speeches, what was so big about this one?" I felt like I was being tested. "Well, he kinda predicted the Cold War between the U.S. and the Soviets." I was kinda dumbing down my material and trying to sound smart at the same time. My God, this surreal I thought. "Right, but didn’t he give that speech a lot? I find it hard to believe this was the only place he used it." Mick was a skeptic of Churchill, that’s amusing. "I think it was the first time that he dropped that big ‘Iron curtain’ catchphrase." As I chuckled to myself about using the word catchphrase in front of a wrestler, Mr. Foley interrupted me. "Right, ‘An iron curtain shall descend upon these great nations…’ and all that." Oh, my, God. Foley is now quoting Churchill. I was stunned. Silence fell as we walked, and I seen an opening, so I asked for a shoutout on Raw. He politely said no, as I laughed knowing he would. "If I gave a shoutout, to everybody who asked for one, the whole show would be nothing but shoutouts." True, damn, I’m an idiot sometimes. But I was still in celebrity shock. We began walking past a huge piece of the Berlin wall that my school has displayed. Mick was intrigued by it, but I ruined his sense of disbelief by saying that the school gave it a makeover every two years, so the color and look wasn’t really authentic, just made to look so. He made a comment about seeing some remnants of it while he was in Germany, to which I responded with a brief story I had about my football teams trip to Germany two years ago. He was shocked to learn that a small, Division III college team would take such a trip, but interested to learn how such a thing work. I obliged, and he and I again shared brief stories about Germany, and how my football team ended up there. As we drew closer to the parking lot where Julie (my girlfriend) and Mick were parked, a guy from the cafeteria at school appeared a top a hill, screaming down at us, "Yo Foley! Yo Foley!" Mick rolled his eyes, and said, "Oh, Jeez" before giving the cheesy wave and smile. It was hilarious. Mick then asked for directions back to the school, which we tried to give but largely failed, as Fulton’s street system is a mess. As we approached the cars, there was another lull in conversation, so I took the opportunity. "So Mick, what’s the big plans for Wrestlemania 20?" "Big plans?" Mick was smirking, humoring me. "Yeah, you know, any big surprises planned? We keep hearing rumors, just thought I’d ask." I was sincerely hoping Mick was one of the alleged "leaks" within the company. "Wrestle-MANIA 20" Mick said, while kinda sighing and saying it over dramatic to make it a huge deal. "Well, they’ll probably be some matches. And…I’ll probably be in one..beyond that I have no idea." I sighed, and the cafeteria man began running toward us, still wearing his apron. It was then that Mick had the quote of a lifetime. Seeing the disgust on my face for the lack of info regarding ‘Mania, Mick replied, "If you think even they know what they are doing, from one day to the next, sir you are sadly mistaken." We all laughed, and the cook began making a fool of himself. As he started talking, I looked at Julie and said, "well that about sums up why I can’t figure out what they’re doing." "Yo, man, you used to rassle right?" Said the cook. I had a feeling this would be horrible. "Yeah, man, I used to ‘rassle." Said, Foley, sarcastically mocking the cook, and cutting his eyes toward me on the line "used to." Mick began backing toward his truck. Or SUV for those of you who care. "Yeah man, you used to ‘rassle like, the Undertaker and stuff?" My God, this was embarrassing. "Yeah, I used to ‘rassle the Undertaker." Replied Foley, now almost backing into his truck, again smiling and looking to me at the line "used to." He’d been on TV for weeks feuding with Randy Orton. The guy then produced a piece of receipt tape, and asked for Foley’s autograph. After poking several holes in the paper with the cook’s pen, Mick went to his truck and used it, only to discover that his pen didn’t work. Lucky for the cook, mine did. After returning the pen, Mick climbed in his truck, laughing at the cook who asked if he still used the sock. Mick replied, "Yeah, I’m gonna use it tonight up at the high school, come check it out." Mick then looked at Julie and I, said "Nice to meet you guys" and left. I still think that if that jackass cook hadn’t come down and scared him away, Foley would have gladly stayed standing in that parking lot chatting with Julie and I a little while longer, potentially giving me the interview I had wanted an hour earlier. Nonetheless, it made for a great day. Julie and I left, still excited, and went back to my place for dinner and some mild drinking that evening, both of us on our cell phones rambling to friends. I spent the next two days telling that story, usually being so excited I left spots out, and I’m sure I did here, so it helps me to get it in writing, to see what I’ve forgotten, and what I remember. It was one of the coolest experiences I ever had, a story I will gladly tell over and over, and if this was half as much fun to read, as it was to live through, then I’m sure you enjoyed it immensely. Easily one of my favorite moments when it comes time to discuss with wrestling fans, so I’m glad you guys let me tell this story here, the forums loved it. Like I said at the top, the regular bells and whistles will be back next week I promise, I know I owe you guys some stuff after taking last week off, but real life got in the way and I needed to take the time to update my websites (of which only one has seen a significant update). Anyway, I’m rambling which means it’s time to call it a day. This is Random Guy signing off, reminding you to next time, get better seats. Click here to Email Randomguy#5!  
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