Take up thy wrestling boots and walk - Hunter vs Flair, Warrior vs. everyone, more
Submitted by Pt2 on Friday, July 22, 2005 at 10:52 PM EST





Hi, welcome to yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda take up thy wrestling boots and walk. I’m the columnist who just typed the same slang word six times running and will get away with it, Pt2, back to bitch again about things I don’t like, like the way ladies insist on not sleeping with you when it’s their time of the month. If the bloke can put up with it, they should to, right?

OK, if your still here, your a sick fuck. But I like you.

So the rumour is, we’re going to get Hunter against Flair soon. Anyone else think this is a mistake? Not to criticise either of you: The group who likes to see big matches regardless of the circumstances (Oh dude! Piper vs. Angle in a can’t hit many moves match would rock!) or the group who think that anything involving the nature boy is still nature that HHH vs. Jericho in the last man standing match from 2000: But I think your wrong.

Ya see, you can wah wah wah all you like, but HHH is one of the stars of our generation, and a match between him and anyone important enough that we actually care about should be published so much that we fear for the likelihood of anyone giving ad time to the WWE again. Think about the 10 time version the 16 time WWE champion: call me crazy, but a match of that magnitude needs more than a few weeks build up, especially considering they’ve been allies for years.

Lets look at it: the storylines dictate that this is actually bigger than Rock. Vs. Hogan. Rock and Hogan were never allies. Flair and Hunter were. And they deserve more, for their hard work over the past 3 years, than to have their final big evolution splitting match thrown away for the price of a bag of chips. And to the Americans I mean a bag of fries, don’t think for one minute I’m jumping over to your crazy puritan Christmas cancelling side. And if you don’t know what I mean by that last comment.... study history, fucktard.

You see, I’ve always been in favour of making the most out of the matches you have available. As a fan of both the WWE and WCW it was something I preached during the Monday night war, and neither company seemed to pay attention too much: but the WWE seemed to go along with my ideas more, and forgive me for the arrogance, but I believe it’s a key reason why they are on top now ( read some of my other columns for such examples, I’m sure I’ve talked about it more than once) and it will be one of the key reasons why they continue to survive.

Why, if in 1997, you can make a big deal out of Rocky Maivia vs. Owen Hart for the intercontinental title, can’t you make a big deal out of two legitimate main eventers who will have a match that will last in the public mindset for generations. Remember the match they had on RAW when they weren’t even trying to make history? Yeah, I do too. And that shows exactly what HHH can do, and if Ric Flair ain’t the right opponent to work with the game, I really don’t know who is. So in summary, I really hope they don’t throw this FUCKING GOLDMINE away on a nothing Summerslam match, when they can move forward and have a match at survivor series, or better yet, a long slow build up completed by the penultimate match at Wrestlemania.



So, like, I’m not pissed off about the recent comments coming out about the Ultimate Warrior. Yes I was a fan as a child. Yes, I was watching when he regained the Intercontinental title from Ravishing Rick Rude. Yes, I was watching when he beat Andre the Giant, Yes I was watching when he won the World title from Hulk Hogan, yes I was watching when he retired Randy Savage, and Yes I was watching when he beat Hunter Hearst Helmsley in 1 minute. But at the end of the day, as much as I was a fan in my youth, that doesn’t mean I am opposed to the rumours going around about the new Warrior DVD.

Because, lets be frank. As much as people my age who are honest to themselves will always recall the Warrior with a fond sense of nostalgia, we all really know that he wasn’t actually a wrestler. He was a bodybuilder who happened to get lucky in regards to time and place and willingness to scream at your hands wearing face paint. That was the Warriors deal.

And as a result, I don’t really mind if he is made to look like the idiot that he actually.... is. Lets be frank, anyone with political policies that right wing must ultimately be an idiot (right JBL?), and the Warrior demonstrates it, if with nothing else his fundamental flaw with grasping that you shouldn’t use a computerised thesaurus for EVERY FUCKING WORD. Just a hint for starters there, Jim.

So yeah, I’ve no objection to seeing a DVD come out where actual wrestlers trash a “superstar” who happened to get lucky and earn a lot more than a lot more deserving wrestlers. Frankly, this guy, is nothing more than a capitalist stereotype where making money is more important than everything else, and guys who care for the business and what they do deserve to take this piss out of this modern day walking joke if they so choose. This may be a business, but lets remember that business doesn’t have to be so cut throat and if people make business decisions that make them look like idiots, life is so much more fun with the safety net there so we can laugh at them.... and they have a chance to try again, so they can make it next time, or we can laugh again next time around.

Ok, time to update you on the Wrestling fans hall of fame. You guys must really hate Hogan. He has fallen from actually getting into the hall of fame to third, and being quite a distance from being inducted. As things stand, Ric Flair leads, and needs only a couple more votes. I’d like to actually see someone get in, so if you think Ric Flair, Sting, Bret Hart, Steve Austin or Hulk Hogan deserves a place in the pro wrestling fans hall of fame, I would love for you to vote at wrestlingfanshof.co.uk. Check out who is eligible!

Ok, I think I’m done for this one. I told you there would be a couple in quick succesion. You won’t see me for a week or so now, so I hope you enjoyed it. Any comments, send them to takeupthywrestlingboots@gmail.com. And once again, please visit my good friends at wrestlingfanshof.co.uk. I think it’s a really admirable thing they’ve got going there, so I hope you’ll support them in giving the fans a voice.

Until next time.

Take care,

Pt2.








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