All About the Game: FAQ³
    Submitted by YourAyatollah on Tuesday, June 21, 2005 at 3:47 PM EST



    ALL ABOUT THE GAME: FAQ³







    Hello, all, and welcome once again to AATG. Here's hoping all has been well with you fine folks since we got together to do this last. The past week for me was rather uneventful, actually, and I had no major complaints whatsoever. Until Sunday, that is.


    See, I had my Sunday all planned out, and it was looking damn fine. I was gonna wake and bake at about noon, since I didn't have to work, and then get started on this big old piece of columny goodness you see before you now. After that, I was to be jetted off to a fabulous Father's Day barbeque at my friend's dad's house, followed by the coup de grace, Batman Begins at the local moving picture show theater. I smile even thinking about it now.


    Of course, it all fell apart before it even got started. I was awakened by the phone at 11am. My boss is on the other end, and it seems that the husband of the lady who works weekends had a heart attack. Needless to say, she left, and the boss had no intentions of working a ten hour shift on a Sunday. I have no life, though, so I got drafted. Instead of writing a column, eating some steak and potatoes, then paying a long overdue visit to Gotham City, I got to stand behind a cash register all fuckin' day. Yay! I got home after work still harboring pipe dreams that I could get this thing written and posted in 45 minutes, but that apparently wasn't meant to be. After feeding my dogs, I sat on the edge of my bed to take off my shoes, then lay down and stretch my back out. That was all she wrote, as I woke up at 10am on Monday morning, blearily wondering what the hell happened.


    So, in a nutshell, that's why this column is late. I can't promise it'll never happen again, but I will say that I'll do my damndest to make sure it doesn't. I can't really turn down any extra hours at work, though, despite how much I dig this whole rasslin' writing thing. I know it sucks but, push come shove, a brother's gotta eat. That's nothing to worry about for the moment, though, as I'm here now and the party can finally begin. I kinda just jumped right into things last week, not really taking the time to let my newer readers get to know me, and what to expect from AATG, very well. This was reflected by the rather large amount of random questions you guys asked in your feedback, all of which I appreciated the hell out of, by the way. On occasion, I have been known to take the time in a column simply to answer some of the more common of those questions and, if the title didn't tip you off, this will be one of those times. So, without further ado......


    TIME TO PLAY THE GAME


    This is a pretty simple format, my children, one that you've probably seen in various other places. I've gathered some of the questions I've heard most often, either via feedback or in random conversations with my friends. I figure that this, better than maybe anything else, is a good way of letting you all know a bit more about Your Ayatollah and how I think on various topics. Sound good? Hope so, because I'm already committed to doing it. First question.


    Q: How long have you been a wrestling fan?

    I've told this story a few times, but what the hell, there's new people. I've been watching wrestling literally since before I can remember. I've been told that I used to sit on my grandfather's knee when I was two years old, watching the Von Erichs and all those old guys. As I am currently at the ripe old age of 24, that would put me as a wrestling fan of 22 years and counting. My actual first memory of watching wrestling, though, was when Andre the Giant ripped Hulk Hogan's cross off his neck and officially started their epic feud. That was one of the greatest, most memorable moments in wrestling history, so it's no surprise that it stuck with me so vividly. All said, I've been a fan of the sport of kings for a long fuckin' time.


    Q: Who is your favorite wrestler?

    That, my friends, is a multi-faceted question. My favorite wrestler of all time is, was, and will probably always be the Man from the Dark Side, Undertaker. From the very first time I saw him drop some dude on his head, then roll his lifeless carcass into a bodybag, I was hooked. People can talk shit all they want, the plain and simple truth is that Undertaker is the measuring stick in WWE, and is simply the fucking Man. Period, the end.   My top three all time favorites list reads like 1. Taker, 2. Hulk Hogan, 3. Chris Jericho/Shawn Michaels. Yes, there's a tie for third, as I love both of those guys and can't really tell who I dig more. My current favorites include those four, along with guys like Christian, Raven, Carlito, Batista, Christopher Daniels, Shelton, and longtime favorite Stevie Richards. That's by no means an exhaustive list, but those are the guys who spring to mind at the moment. Oh, and Heidenreich. I love doing that dumbass march.


    Q: Who's your favorite band?

    I know that's not a wrestling question but, due to the Album Pick and all, I get a lot of music questions. That's all fine and dandy, though, as music is my true passion in life. That said, this question is easy. My favorite band is Metallica, though Alice in Chains is a somewhat close second. Follow those two with Marilyn Manson, then Cake, then, to round out the top five, Type O Negative. Megadeth could probably fit in one of those last two slots, too, and I've started liking Nirvana quite a bit more over the past couple years or so. Honestly, I've got so many bands I consider among my favorites that I'd be here all day if I tried to list them all. From Blues Traveler to Suicidal Tendencies, with all the Portisheads and STPs in between, Your Ayatollah is well versed in many kinds of tunes.


    Q: What do you think of Batista/Cena?

    I think pretty highly of both of them, actually. Batista is the latest in a long line of badass big men, and he's making the Sid Vicious' and Ron Simmons' before him proud. I've really enjoyed how the whole split from Evolution and feud with Hunter has played out, and seeing Trips actually not in control of the situation has been a very refreshing change of pace. Cena has potential out the ass, to say the least. Unless the wheels fall off, I can see him being a dominant babyface for a good long time, hopefully with a brilliantly executed heel turn somewhere along the way. Both could use a bit more polish in the ring, I think, but they're doing just fine the way they are. If those two are the future of WWE, I figure the future is gonna be just fine. I'd take Captain Charisma over either one of them, though, maybe both. That's just how I roll.


    Q: What do you think of the newer guys on the roster?

    Well, it's a mixed bag, in my opinion. MNM and the Heart Throbs are wastes of time, I figure, as there's no way in hell that either of those gimmicks will ever catch on to any degree. None of the guys involved seem to have the personality to pull it off, though I could be completely wrong. For all I know, Johnny Nitro is the next Shawn Michaels, but as of this moment neither team is really working for me. Then you've got your Matt Morgan, who has been saddled with a gimmick so horrible that I've been unable to really get a gauge on whether I like him or not, and Chris Masters, who I'm actually impressed with thus far. He didn't play the whole Masterpiece thing like I feared he would, with mirrors and all that bullshit. He's just an incredibly strong, incredibly cocky guy who is going to be causing some big trouble in the World Title scene within a couple of years if they give him something decent to work with storyline wise. Also, despite the naysayers, I find the Master Lock to be a perfectly fine finisher. He can put it on virtually anyone, and the simple truth is that a full nelson hurts like a bitch, no matter how lacking in flash it is.


    Q: What is the best PPV you've ever seen?

    This is a rather timely question, seeing as how everyone is going on and on about how great One Night Stand is, myself included. It's also a damn good question, one that required a bit of thought. I'm a very big fan of WrestleMania X, though the midcard matches in that one were pretty lame for the most part. WrestleMania X-Seven is always up there, too, as it may just be the best PPV ever, without a truly bad match on the entire card. ECW's first PPV, Barely Legal, was a damn good event that featured, in my opinion, the best payoff match to end a storyline ever with Taz vs Sabu, and WCW's Halloween Havoc 1998 was also a simply stellar show, with only the Hulkster/Warrior snoozefest of a WM6 rematch and a few jobber matches to weigh it down.


    In the end, though, I gotta cast my vote for King of the Ring 1996 for many reasons. First off, it featured the best guest commentary I've ever heard, provided by the King of Harts, Owen Hart. Then you've got the fact that this was the night Austin 3:16 was born, and the very first PPV match between Undertaker and Mankind. Garnish that with a classic Loose Cannon Brian Pillman promo, then top it off with one of the most entertaining World Title matches I've ever seen, as Shawn Michaels, at the peak of his popularity, took on the red hot British Bulldog. I'm sure there have been better top to bottom shows out there, but this one is my very favorite, and one that I've seen probably more times than any other with the exception of the afore mentioned WM10.


    Q: Why do you write a column?

    This is the one I hear most often, and the one I always find hardest to answer. The truth of the matter is, I've written for many reasons over the years. I've written specifically to win the Columns Forum's Column of the Month contest, and I've written to remind people of why I won it in the past. I've written because I wanted the respect that comes with doing it well, and I've written because I simply like hearing people sing my praises sometimes. I've written because I felt I had something to prove, to both others and myself, and I've written because I felt I was obligated to after so many people put so much time and effort into supporting me.


    When you get right down to it, though, all columnists really write for the same reason underneath it all. We all think we have something worthwhile to say. Whether the readers agree or disagree with whatever opinions we put forth, we don't care as long as we get to speak our piece, maybe even change someone's viewpoint along the way. There's also the interaction you get, as wrestling fans love nothing more than talking about wrestling with other fans. We pretty much write them for the same reason you guys read them, because we're huge marks.


    Q: Who is the most underrated man in wrestling today?

    That's a question that would probably be answered ten different ways by ten different people. I, however, think it's Chris Jericho, and have for about three years now. This is a guy who has proven that he can be a main event performer, not to mention one of the most over superstars in the business, and his most high profile feud in years has been with Christian. Now, I dig Cap'n Charisma, as we've established, but he's not exactly up there with HBK and HHH on the main event totum pole. I think My Ayatollah simply deserves better than he's been given for some time now, though that may finally be changing.


    Aside from Y2J, guys like Stevie Richards and Akio get no respect. I've seen people actually call for the release of Scotty 2 Hotty in various columns, and it makes me sick. This dude broke his fucking neck to entertain us, and we're sitting here wishing for him to be unemployed. Real classy. I have nothing but respect for all the lower midcard guys in WWE, and it bugs the shit out of me to see people knock them. Sure, Hurricane and Rosey aren't exactly the biggest draws in the land, but they fill an important role that somebody's gotta fill. And that's not to mention Val Venis, who is actually more talented than the vast majority of people he's jobbing to ever week on Heat. Of course, the played out circa 1998 gimmick doesn't help a brother much, does it?


    Q: Now that you're on the main page, what would you like to say to all the people who talked shit?

    Well, there aren't many who talked shit, actually. I've always tried my best to treat people respectfully, and they have generally always responded in kind. That said, I'd like to send a big "Fuck you" out to Randomfuck#5, still busting ass to get his measly 400 views while I ascend to Main Page God status. Go watch Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants again, wussyboy, and this time don't weep like a little girl with a skinned knee. Snoogins.


    GAME OVER


    There we go, kids, that would be that. Hope this helped you guys get to know me a bit better, and gave you a better idea of what to expect when you drop in my neck of the woods in the future. If nothing else, here's hoping it wasn't just a complete waste of time. Either way, I look forward to the feedback this one will hopefully produce, as it promises to be little more than simple conversation and debate over my answers. The way I figure, it don't get much better than that.


    Time now for Your Ayatollah's Album Pick of the Week. After last week's MCR pick, some of my more hardcore metal friends did everything but call me a little girl. I could give a shit, as I likes what I likes, but I figure why not give them something a bit more traditional Tollah this time out. Back in 1995, a metal God announced that retirement just wasn't working out, then proceeded to release one of the most ambitious records of his incredibly lustrous career. With the release of Ozzmosis upon the world, Ozzy Osbourne proved not only that he still had something to say, but that he could still say it better than ever.


    The album kicks off in rousing fashion with Perry Mason, a call for justice in an out of control world, all wrapped up in a thunderous Zakk Wylde riff. Mason is follwed up nicely by one of the bigger hits on the album, I Just Want You. This song mixes a soaring guitar with Ozz's bizarre, nonsensical lyrics delivered only the way he can to make for yet another instant classic to add to the vaults. Ghost Behind Your Eyes is up next, and is one of my favorite songs on the record, before Thunder Underground lives up to it's title with a monstrous, chugging riff. The fifth cut is another of the big hits off the record, See You On the Other Side. Great song with a guitar that flies high over Ozz's heartfelt lyrics from just barely beyond the grave.


    At the midway point of the record comes my favorite cut on the album, as Tomorrow is a cookie cutter perfect Ozzy Osbourne song with lyrics that rank on up there with No More Tears as some of the best he's ever written. Denial is up next, gladly providing more of the same, before the Wylde penned My LIttle Man slows thing down a bit with a ballad directed at Zakk's then infant son. My Jekyll Doesn't Hide really lets Ozz stretch his entirely unique vocals, before the final track, Old LA Tonight, shows us a side of the Godfather of Metal that we rarely see. A soft piano break mixed with a downright pretty guitar riff combine underneath heartfelt Ozzy vocals to create a song that stands out as one of the most romantic that the genre has ever produced.


    All of this adds up to make for my personal favorite record from the Prince of Darkness, one that is high quality from start to finish. From tales of shattered lives in Perry Mason, to the romantic optimism of Old LA, this is an album that finds the Great and Powerful Ozz in rare form, firing on all cylinders. Retirement's a bitch, apparently, though I'm all for it if it helps produce a classic record like this one. So, whether you're an Ozz fan of many moons, or if you've been looking to dig into the Godfather's catalogue to see what you've been missing, this glorious comeback album is a damn fine place to start. So go out now and find yourself a copy of Ozzmosis by the legendary Ozzy Osbourne, Your Ayatollah commands it. Those summer nights.....


    This one was fun to write, I must admit, and I hope that came through. If not, all apologies, I'll try and do better next time. Thanks a million to all you fine folks who took the time to let me know what you thought of the last one. You guys set the feedback bar pretty high, and here's hoping you can continue to live up to it. As per usual, any and all comments about this column can be sent my way via the address below, or by simply clicking on my name at the top of the page. All emails will be answered, you've got my personal guarantee. Again, I hope you guys enjoyed this as, above all else, I aim to please. Until we get together next week to do this all again, you guys take care of yourselves out there in the really real world. Much love, kids. Later.


    -Steve
    YourAyatollah@webtv.net




    *NEW GALLERY* Vince & Stephanie McMahon Playing with the NEW BABY!!

  • Quick Links -
    [Back to LOP] [News Archives] [Results] [Columns] [Forums]