The Wrath of Tito - Full Wrestlemania 21 review and grade
Submitted by Mr. Tito on Monday, April 4, 2005 at 9:31 AM EST
May Pope John Paul II rest in peace.
Welcome everyone to the WRESTLEMANIA edition of the Wrath of Tito. In today's column, we will simply put, review Wrestlemania! This column would have been generated earlier but I was dead tired last night. The daylight's savings timechange wrecks you if you have to work early Sunday morning! On to the column already!
Oh, if you want to hear my thoughts on WWE Smackdown or NWA-TNA Impact, check out my BLOG for mini-reviews of each show.
WRESTLEMANIA 21 is TITO
The set for WM 21 was OK... A little too overdone on the Hollywood theme. Funny how Wrestlemania was in Hollywood, yet they only had a few actors in attendance, with Adam Sandler really of only noteworthy status. And I heard problems of selling this arena out, too... Oh, and I'll be using the star system since many requested it of me. I'm not very familiar with giving stars to matches, to be warned!
Nice singing of "America the Beautiful" by Lilian. Dumb Gladiator parody by Austin, though.
Good choice for opening bout choice made for Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio, but Rey Mysterio BLEW IT. For some odd reason, several WWE superstars were trying out new gear. Why, on a night where you should wrestle your A-game, should you allow a wardrobe malfunction bother you in any way? Rey Mysterio's chin strap on his mask couldn't get back together, so for the whole match, he was playing with his mask. Instead of selling a drastic move made by Eddie, he was playing with the mask. Before Rey went for a move, he fixed his mask. COMPLETELY threw off the match and Eddie Guerrero, even forcing both to blow one of the arm drag spots badly. The mask adjusting by Mysterio ruined what could have been and what should have been an insanely hot opener. Mysterio, who has wrestled unmasked before, should have ripped it off and completed a better match. Instead, he screwed it up with mask adjustments all match and even won, once again, over Eddie. Eddie should have won, but I guess the WWE wants to question his character, once again. [ *** ]
Backstage, Triple H trashed JBL quite harshly, even calling him a "joke" to his face. JBL jabbed back, but his lines were scripted by someone else. Both challenged each other to keep the belts whick foreshadowed what was yet to come. I wonder if this mini-rivalry between JBL and HHH will carry over to another brand once the roster realignments happen?
The next match was quite good with the 6 Man Ladder Match, for some good spots were hit and guys sold their injuries from the spots well. Kane had quite the entrance when the ladders surrounding him caught on fire. Benoit freakin' sold the arm injury the ENTIRE match, which is why he's the man and why his greatness won him the belt last year. Benoit sold the headbutt like he just died attempting it! Excellent spot with Shelton Benjamin running up the ladder for the clothesline. That took pure athletic ability not to fall through the ladder going up, as well as not knocking down the ladders. IMPRESSIVE! Not a TLC, but I liked the sense of urgency played up in the ring because the award was a World Title shot. Edge won by knocking off a wounded Benoit off the ladder. Very nice match fought hardy by all competitors and even Tomko took some good shots. [ ****1/4 ]
Eugene runs into the ring. What, can any random run to the ring on Wrestlemania and start talking on the mic. The LA crowd shit on Eugene, as they, too recognized that he was shoved down our throats last year. I knew what was coming once Eugene hit the ring... Mohammad Hassan hit the ring and after a VERY LAME promo on Los Angeles natives, Hassan attacked. This would prompt "Real American" to hit the speakers and Hulk Hogan came running out to an enormous pop. He eventually cleared the ring of both Hassan and his manager and probably posed for about 5-10 minutes in the ring. Yeah, Hogan looks a bit heavier. It's not easy to work out when you're recovering from massive knee surgery. In addition, be happy that he didn't defeat Hassan in a match, for his young career would be in trouble if that happened. Good to at least see Hogan off the crutches.
Next, it was Undertaker vs. Randy Orton. Undertaker had a long entrance with druids and fire... The match was utter death to watch, though, as you're getting Undertaker's usual stuff while Randy Orton's offense is a joke. Nothing like watching a chinlock turn into a headlock several times in the match. Yes, it's hard to work with the Undertaker, especially when he purposely no-sells half of your moves... but Orton, as I've said before, is still green in the ring and isn't ready yet for any kind of spotlight. I'm sure I'll hear excuses about Randy working with a bad shoulder, but I didn't see any difference in this match than the way he's worked a previous match. Nice false finishes, though, I must say. Bob Orton drilled Undertaker with the cast for one, while Randy countered the chokeslam with an RKO (which looked very NICE). Undertaker kicked out of both and when Randy tried a Tombstone on the Undertaker (how dumb can you be?), the Undertaker reversed it to obtain the win. Bad match but strong finishes. [ *1/2 ]
Christy Hemme vs. Trish Stratus should NOT have happened. Hemme has zero right to be in that ring and it's an insult to Trish Stratus, a hottie who has learned the craft of wrestling and working a match, to even be in the same ring with Hemme. You could just see the sense of frustration on Trish's face at various points when Hemme didn't know what she was doing. Thankfully, the WWE didn't have Hemme win the match, for she's NOT OVER, despite the WWE's constant shoving of her down our throats and being in Playboy. Trish taunted Lita throughout and after the match, which probably tells you the main purpose of setting up this bad Wrestlemania match. [ ZERO STARS ]
Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels receives my Match of the Year vote for 2005, thus far. Impressive bout with some nice matwork to begin with (Angle showing frustration with HBK getting the better of him was excellent), as well as excitement that followed to finish the match up. Nice table spot, for Angle tried to German Suplex HBK off of the ring and into a table (which would have been very dangerous). However, HBK stopped that and later hit a nice body splash on Angle while he was on the table. The table didn't explode, for once, too. Once in the ring, the two both tried high risk moves and failed. Then, it was a war of close finishes and battles over finishers. Kurt Angle made Shawn Michaels TAP, which I was totally amazed at! HBK doesn't lose many clean matches and his recent harsh critics should bow down. The clean finish for Angle bumped my match rating up a bit... [ ***** ]
Piper's Pit was a WASTE OF TIME. Both Steve Austin and Roddy Piper had nothing important to say, thus making the segment a waste of time to hype. Carlito Caribbean Cool actually saved the segment by ripping on both guys. Carlito eventually attacked Piper after Piper spit an apple over Carlito, and it then reverted into Austin handing out Stunners. There's a reason why the WWE doesn't have either Austin or Piper on TV shows for a regular basis these days... That's TWICE that non-regular oldtimers have beat up future WWE stars on one show.
Akebono defeated Big Show in a Sumo match. At least the WWE recognized that Akebono was a legitimate Sumo champion and had him defeat Big Show. I can respect that. Big Show gave him a decent fight, even though I'm sure Akebono could have finished him in seconds. OK segment, even though it wasn't anything special. How do I rate Sumo matches?
John 'Bradshaw' Layfield vs. John Cena was up next... I'll say it now and I'll say it again. John Cena is NOT a World Title style performer. While he has the personality down to attract fans, he has yet to achieve that in-ring ability that may draw even more fans. I just didn't see any moment for Cena that would prompt excitement for his eventual World Title win. At this point, JBL has grown on me enough to suggest that he should have kept the title... Where can Cena go now that he's champion and can a lackluster wrestler, in the ring, be the guy to trust to carry a brand? We'll see... I suggest otherwise and would get the title back on JBL. He was just starting to maybe gain Honky Tonk heat status of being champion... [ * ]
The main event was a JOKE in Triple H vs. Batista. If Batista is soooooooo the "Animal", then why did HHH dominate offensively for much of the match? It wasn't until HHH bladed during the catapult that Batista was able to start pounding on HHH. HHH's domination reminded me of Hogan's domination of Warrior at Halloween Havoc 1998. This booking took the crowd out of the match for much of the match and they only cheered when it was known that Batista would win the title. Ever since the contract signing, it appears that the creative team, with HHH oddly as a member, has tried to bottle up the intensity/energy that Batista once had. I don't understand the powering out of the Pedigree, either, for all HHH had to do was to drop to his knees to hit the finisher. Bad match to cap or finish Wrestlemania. [ * ]
LAST WORD: The double-main events didn't deliver, even though BOTH had title changes. The booking of the matches or the wrestlers themselves helped to hinder what should have been the biggest attractions on the show. However, they were not... HBK vs. Angle delivered, thankfully, and the Ladder match was very fun to watch. Had it not been for those two matches, I'd ask for two extra hands to give this show 4 thumbs down. The show was hurt by pitiful main events and I'll hold that against the Superbowl of Wrestling. [ C+ ] Batista won't last as World Champion (HHH already has a rematch at Backlash) and Cena, at this point in time, can't carry a promotion as champion. Otherwise, trade HBK to Smackdown so that he may wrestle Angle MORE and then wrestle the likes of Eddie Guerrero, etc. The main events, ladies and gentlemen, hurt this show. Neither delivered.
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