Take up thy wrestling boots and walk - Mysterio/Guerrero, other Mania matches, Roddy Piper, TNA, more
    Submitted by Pt2 on Saturday, March 26, 2005 at 10:44 PM EST



    Welcome once again to the column that trains, says prayers, and takes vitamins, Take up thy wrestling boots and walk. Back once again, this time with tickets to a WWE event on the way, I’m the columnist who marks out more often than Jim Ross at a Steve Austin convention, Pt2, and I’m here to talk about the Mecca of western civilization that is Professional wrestling.

    As we get closer to Wrestlemania, I’m really starting to look forward to the match between Angle and Michaels. It was always going to be a great match on the night, but it’s been given the boost it needs, that can only come from a good build up. Bringing back Sherri (plus Angle’s subsequent attack) was a great move, really added something, and who doesn’t like seeing former Tag Team and Intercontinental champion Marty Jannetty again? Well, he only turns up once every couple of years, I’m sure it won’t kill anyone to see him again, and it did add a little something. Just as long as they don’t use him long term, or have him cost Michaels the match - that is a route they do not want to go down.

    I’m not sure what to expect from The Big Show vs. Akebono. Being the sports nut that I am, I have seen Sumo contests, and don’t have a problem with them. I just can’t see one going down well, or fitting into the show, at Wrestlemania. Probably the only way to do this is to keep it short, have Akebono win, and then have Show chokeslam him. Every body leaves happy.

    As much as I am a fan of his, I’m pretty confident in one belief: Randy Orton should NOT end the Undertakers streak.

    I think Smackdown really has struggled to promote it’s own matches. The inter-promotional matches, ok, they are looking good, but name another Wrestlemania match from Smackdown that I should really give a damn about. The Cena build up is ok, but your main event should be at fever pitch: Maybe it’s just a dislike of Cena, but lets just say I’m a fair distance from Fever Pitch. Mysterio and Guerrero should be good, but the amount of work that has been done before the PPV means that to make it any more than good, they shall have to do one hell of a lot at Wrestlemania.

    That being said, RAW is shaping up well (as it has for the most part of the last 18 months), and Wrestlemania should be a good show. The WWE has tended to deliver a pretty good show for Wrestlemania these past few years, especially if you ignored the excessive hype around Wrestlemania XX: and if you expected them to deliver all they said going into that one, you’re really a bit of a fool. With a well built up title match, a ladder match with promises to be quite something (and carries something to expand storylines later on in the title clause) and the two inter-brand matches, Wrestlemania will be worth watching, if all goes well.

    And then of course, there is the special feature, that is Piper’s Pit. Now, who doesn’t want to see this? OK, OK, if you didn’t see Piper before his last WWE run you can be excused if you don’t. But I did, and I believe that people who can speak as well as the Hot Rod, and people who’ve been around the business as long as Piper, are exactly what some of these younger guys who don’t know whether to speak into or proverbially fuck a microphone need: I don’t see Piper being around for long enough to do anything more than get the Stone Cold Stunner and pick up a paycheque, but hopefully people will realise the benefit of having these old veterans around... they don’t even have to be on screen, and the youngsters will benefit. You can tell how much Orton and Batista have improved from being around Hunter and Flair. Imagine a whole roster moving in much the same direction.

    Three weeks after Mania, TNA has a PPV. It’s risky business, putting up a show around Mania, so I think leaving it a few weeks is probably a good move on the part of the TNA management. I don’t know if WCW ever tried to run anything against Wrestlemania, but I’d be interested in knowing which PPV they ran and how well it did if they ever put one on the same weekend. There is always a great risk, if you put a show on in that same week, that people won’t spend the money on two wrestling PPV’s in a short span of time - and when in doubt, they’ll go with Wrestlemania, the recognised brand. With a three week gap, however, while TNA is effectively forfeiting the wrestling hype that surrounds Wrestlemania, I do think it’s the wise move, and will get the most from their audience. I’m not sure that having “The Outlaw” Billy Gunn and Sean Waltman in the main event is a marvellously great move, and even though he was at one time a huge draw for WCW, the ageing Kevin Nash is questionable - but the fans support for the likes of Monty Brown and AJ Styles should pull in plenty of buys - assuming that on the shows I see here in the UK, crowd noise isn’t added.

    Speaking of TNA and “The Outlaw”, I can see the relevance of running a storyline with him and BG James.... but they can’t actually be rethinking of reforming the New Age Outlaws can they? I mean, ok, they were popular in 1998 for.... well, about a year. But we all know, they were popular as part of Degeneration X. They were popular for their gimmick and attitude, not their ability. Billy was a decent tag wrestler, and Roaddogg was charismatic, but you KNOW that if they reform, and they can’t do the D-X schtick and tell people to suck it, that no one will give a damn. Let them fight by all means, but don’t reform them.... for the love of god, that’d be like The Beverley Brothers turning up on Smackdown.

    Kenzo and Hiroko haven’t been on WWE TV recently.... and I, a WWE addict, didn’t realise until I read that their bio’s had been taken off WWE.com. Think that would have happened in the “dark days” of 1996? No, I don’t believe it would have. I wouldn’t have forgot wrestlers quite so easily, and as such, I don’t blame Kenzo, or Hiroko, for them not sticking in my memory. If your not booked to be memorable... then you probably end up in the minor leagues with the rest of us.

    And it seems that Lex Luger has been arrested again. Isn’t this the third year in a row now? How many more times before he actually goes to gaol? I’m sure that a career in which you spent 6 months being called “The Narcissist” and looking at yourself in a mirror will do you a lot of good in the nick.


    Well, last time out, the YBTB title changed hands: And a new champion takes up the privilege of sharing his thoughts here. So once again, it’s time to get...

    In the ring with the champ



    Pt2: So Random, what's on your mind this week?

    Random Guy5: The same thing that's always on my mind...sex. But since we can't talk about that, I'm going to say the two number one contenders, Batista and John Cena. These two feuds are intriguing the hell out of me, and I'm not really sure how I feel about either at the moment.

    Pt2: How so? You not convinced they've done a good job building these feuds up for Mania?

    RG5: I think they've done a fantastic job of making us think they have if that makes any sense, but lets think about this for a moment. Batista had what was probably the best build up I've ever seen, right up through the night when he gave trips the power bomb of death through a table (which they should just officially call "the thumbs down" by the way). And since then, he's done what? Break a hammer? Why? What'd the hammer ever do to him? You want to impress me, break HHH. This feud has fallen flat, and while its still in the "not bad" category, it could be in that "OMG THIS IS FUKCING AWSOME~!" category. I have faith, it'll pick up, probably about the time you post this, right on time to make me look like a dumbass (not dumass, there's a difference).

    As for the blue brand, I've been pretty happy with Cena, particularly since he dropped the belt and went from "happy-go-luck" catchphrase Cena, to "A Cena with a Cause". I know he's getting some of Austin's old storylines, but you know what? I firmly believe that half the wrestling world wasn't watching when they were going on, and if they were, they don't care. In regards to what you asked, I'm just not convinced this feud is building up for Wrestlemania. Everybody else has been screwed by the wonder that is JBL, why not J.C? For that matter, everybody else has gotten a rematch too. I say, JBL wins at Mania in a complete screw job finish, and Cena kicks into "thugnation ghetto fabulous" ass kicker guy, and then relieves JBL of the strap.

    Pt2:I'd agree that probably half the current fans either weren't watching or don't care about Cena being given old Austin angles, but do you think Cena is good enough to pull them off? We know that Austin was a bit special.

    Rg5: A "bit special"? No my English friend, Goldust was "a bit special". Rico was "a bit special". Eugene is "a bit special". Austin was the fucking man.

    That being said, I guess we'll have to wait and see with Cena. The guy has got more mixed opinions than techno music, but my inclination is "Yes". I think, and have thought for over a year, that John Cena is the WWE's future, particularly since Lesnar left. Since they began the whole "search for the next 'next big thing'" Cena is the one guy who has separated himself. All that matters in wrestling is crowd reaction, and it doesn't matter how you get that. He's got that, and has for close to two years, its time for people to swallow their pride (and anything else necessary) and cum (pun intended) to the conclusion that though he's no Chris Benoit in the ring, it simply doesn't matter, he's a face that will become synonymous with the next generation of professional wrestling. Get over yourselves and accept that, you'll be much happier.

    Pt2: Surely if you are to have a "next big thing", it's better to have someone who can sustain a crowd reaction? With Cena, I'm not sure as to whether he will be the next Brock Lesnar, or the next Ahmed Johnson. What happens when people stop giving a shit about a chain? Whats he going to do then?

    RG5: I'm quite certain John has no intrest in being the next Rock, or the next Lesnar, or the next Ahmed Johnson. What matters is that he be the first John Cena. From a crowd reaction stand point, he's already at least where Lesnar was, and has actually maintained that sort of response longer than Lesnar was with the WWE, so forget about that.

    Besides, its not like his character has suddenly shot to stardom like some number one contenders. Cena has been uber-over for a long time now, and when that starts to taper off, he'll go heel. It's not like this gimmick he's running hasn't changed substantially already. Think about where he was...the guy got over using what started off as a Halloween joke. Then he rapped his way to the fans hearts, then he went face, he's slowly worked out the rapping and has now become "The people's champ" v2.0. If all that slows, he'll go heel, and go back to rapping, which will start the cycle all over again, and if that doesn't work, he'll "sell out" and people will hate him for that. He's got options, since it was his talent that got him over, not two moves and a great build against the most hated man in the industry.

    Pt2: Interesting theory. You certainly have more confidence in him than I do, but as a fan of the WWE, I hope that you are right on this one, because at some point, John Cena is going to have to carry the ball.

    Random, thanks for joining me today.

    RG5 Hey, no problem, thanks for letting me play along.


    Random guy has work up in the LOP columns forum, including a piece on Vince McMahon, that you will either agree with or think is drivel. If you’ve enjoyed this little tete au tete, then run along and check it out, at www.lopforums.com

    If you’d like to get in touch, you can contact me at Takeupthywrestlingboots@gmail.com. Naturally, I reply to all mail received.

    Wrestlemania is only 6 days away. I doubt I shall write again before then, so if I don’t, take care of yourselves and enjoy the show... it only comes once a year, make sure you don’t miss out.

    Pt2




    HUGE News Coming Out of No Mercy, Cena and Orton's Returns Revealed, BIG Batista News, HBK's Future, MORE!!!

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