DaveyBoy's Wrestling Menu - Rockers + Snake = 3 Basics & Roddy Piper Book Review
Submitted by DaveyBoy on Wednesday, March 23, 2005 at 2:55 AM EST






THE WRESTLING MENU #123

Welcome one and all to the 123rd edition of The Wrestling Menu, the column that is sure to satisfy your taste buds when it comes to discussing all things wrestling.

I'm not totally sure how this column will come off as a whole, as it was pretty much a last minute decision to write it. I just got through with Roddy Piper's "In The Pit With Piper" biography, and when I saw Marty Jannetty & Jake 'The Snake' Roberts strut their stuff on WWE programming over the past week & a half, I thought this was a good opportunity to have a themed column. The main theme is nostalgia. But in the background, there is the secondary theme of going back to basics. I've preached it before about pay-per-views & I'll preach it again today about wrestlers & wrestling.

The 'main' section of today's column (the Piper book review) will be quite long, so I will attempt to keep the other 2 sections as short as possible.

I hope you enjoy this column. On with the show.....


APPETIZERS

Marty Jannetty, The Rockers & Jake The Snake

Almost 2 weeks ago, following the defeat of a "hometown hero" in a ladder match, Kurt Angle announced that in his next quest to achieve in 4 weeks all that Shawn Michaels has in his entire career, he would wrestle HBK's old tag-team partner, Marty Jannetty. Well, I can promise you this; That announcement was met with almost zero enthusiasm from myself. He may as well have announced he was wrestling another unknown hometown hero as far as I was concerned.

While I was a little more intrigued about Jannetty's appearance on Raw, it was pretty much simply due to the fact that he & Shawn were going to be in the same building at the same time. Nothing more, nothing less. But what it all resulted in has genuinely left a tremendous positive effect on me. Was it that The Rockers and/or Marty Jannetty wrestled? No. Was it the nostalgia of seeing an old wrestler or an old tag-team together? No. Simply put, it was the quality with which it was done.

As far as I am concerned, 3 segments over that week of television shows, proved how simple it can be to put together 3 different parts of quality professional wrestling. Before I get back to Jannetty & The Rockers, let us take a look at Jake 'The Snake' Roberts' appearance on 'The Highlight Reel'.

Now Jake looked like crap. Hell, he even sounded like crap. But the monologue he had simply got the job done. It was intense. It was to the point. It was even humorous in it's own little way. Like Jake's wrestling skills, nothing was wasted. Now I'm definitely not saying Jake should be used by the WWE again. Nor am I saying that all promos & interviews should be like that. But if modern-day wrestlers hadn't taken the time to study Jake's past microphone work to better their own, then there is definitely no excuse not to now.

Then my personal highlight; Some god-damn tag-team wrestling. Forgive me for taking the Lord's name in vain, but did it really need someone who hasn't been on WWE programming for almost a decade to show how it's done. Hell, Michaels & Jannetty actually made La Resistance look good. And in this case, the WWE can't use the standard "but we don't want our wrestlers injuring themselves with this style" excuse, because I don't think either man did anything all that risky. They simply showed us the art of tag-team wrestling. Hell, they even did it in a 2 minute period of offense!

And then just to seal the deal, Marty Jannetty rocks up to SmackDown & with the help of Kurt Angle put together probably the best television match so far this year. I really wasn't expecting much from this bout, but it just goes to show what can be done if wrestlers are given adequate time to perform the wrestling style they excel at. The cruiserweights are no different, nor are the big men.

Basics. It's as simple as that. Sure, it's not groundbreaking stuff. But while looking to break new ground, going back to basics will keep your current fanbase maintained, if not growing steadily. And if 2 'well past their prime' veterans can show us how to do basic singles wrestling, tag-team wrestling & microphone work, then why can't the rest of the roster do it and/or be allowed to do it. You know, to be honest, I'm unsure that signing Marty Jannetty will end up being a positive. But if his appearance does one thing, I hope it helps the WWE & it's wrestlers realize just how basics can lead to quality wrestling programming.


MAIN

"In the Pit With Piper" Book Review

This book, which was published in 2002, is 240 pages & 14 chapters long. It is co-written with Robart Picarello & has a short foreword by Piper's good friend; Bret Hart. Simply put, Hart concludes that Piper is a "real man".

As is usual, this biography starts off with Piper's upbringing. But what will make most happy, is that he doesn't dwell on it too long. I've never minded it actually & preferred that Piper went into more detail. Remembering that here was this Bagpipe-playing 13 year old Canadian, who just decided to leave home & hitch-hike from place to place busking with his bagpipes. Sorry if I sound intrusive, but I wanted to know why. His parents are hardly even mentioned at all throughout the whole book. We quickly get into his wrestling debut at the age of 15 against Larry Hennig & we almost immediately begin to hear the road stories. The one about Lord Alfred Hayes' penis is probably the best of them in this section! Piper's bagpipe playing & kilt wearing sure got him attention both in & out of a professional wrestling ring.

Following a few more road stories, Roddy explains how he drifted from state to state & finally settled in L.A, where he met celebrities such as Andy Kaufman, Muhammad Ali & Henry Winkler (The Fonz). This is where he learnt his real talent; The heel microphone ability to work the crowd into a frenzy. He also takes us through his fair share of bad gimmicks (EG: a hypnotist) & problems (being stabbed when playing 'La Cucaracha' instead of the Mexican national anthem). It also includes a hilarious story about wrestling a 650 pound bear, which genuinely had me in tears laughing. But the downside was Roddy starting to become an "aggressive reckless rebel" out of the ring (EG: women in every city & thinking he was above the law).

While in L.A, and only at the age of 20, Piper's potential talent was spotted from afar & he was given a tryout in New York by Vince McMahon Sr. But he failed that after he was completely thrown off when his bagpipes wouldn't play..... courtesy of Freddie Blassie filling them with toilet paper. But back to L.A he went & after 3 years there & being established as a main event draw, he took the huge risk of making the move to the Portland territory.

This ended up being a good career move, as he was given more time & control over his interviews & promos. This resulted in Roddy genuinely breaking new ground on the microphone. He was succeeding in sports entertainment when no such term existed. He was including real events more than anyone else. And, most importantly, he made fans believe that there was more reality in professional wrestling than anyone else. Portland is also where he had great matches with the likes of Buddy Rose & Rick Martel, met his wife Kitty & has lived most of his adult life.

But Roddy knew there were bigger fish to fry out east. Charlotte was the next stop & under the NWA banner, he wrestled under George Scott, Jimmy Crockett, Ole Anderson & Jim Barnett in states along the east coast. Amazingly, within a year, he had defeated Ric Flair for the U.S HeavyWeight Title. Piper became great friends with Flair & Ric helped him out a great deal by travelling overseas to San Juan & Santo Domingo to wrestle, when Piper was fired & blackballed. Of course, Piper also gives some great stories in this chapter, as Flair really did live his character apparently. Being a tad critical, I would have liked a little more detail about the NWA here, especially when touching on Starrcade (& other shows) trying to match the WWWF's larger shows such as the outdoor one at Shea Stadium.

After the blackballing, Jimmy Crockett eventually hired Piper back in Atlanta. But one day, he told him that Vince Sr was interested, after Crockett was done with him. Piper couldn't resist enquiring & 6 weeks later was heading to New York. As soon as he got there, Roddy saw the talent the McMahons were pooling. Then, when there was talk about contracts & crossing territorial boundaries, Piper realized this was going to be the make or break time for professional wrestling. Just what role Piper had to play though, was up in the air. He had been told they were going to build around him, but with the likes of Hogan, Andre, Snuka, Orndorff & Ventura in the same company, surely they had all been told exactly the same thing.

I think it's interesting to note 2 things here: (1) How the McMahons would appease the wrestlers who didn't want to cross territories by disguising such ventures as charity events, and (2) how they started promoting the 'WWF' brand more, rather than specific wrestlers or matches.

Piper knew there was a chance that no matter how good he was, he could get lost among all these giants. His way to ensure that didn't happen was to use his main strength; His mouth. He approached Vince Jr with his "Piper's Pit" idea & he loved & backed it. This was Roddy's (successful) way of getting more television time. It worked from the start & the fans ate it up. The timing was great too, as Vince was just starting to get mainstream attention. One of Roddy's first guests on the show was Cyndi Lauper. This all resulted in a huge push for Piper, who main-evented against Hulk Hogan at "The War To Settle The Score' on February-18, 1985. And then did the same in a tag match (also including Paul Orndorff & Mr T) at WrestleMania on March-31.

It's at this time that Piper acknowledges the stories about him demanding not to be pinned by Hulk Hogan (& definitely not Mr T) in either match. The stories are indeed true. The singles match ended up going to a No Contest, as Piper felt that if he got pinned, Vince would simply move on to Hogan's next challenger, when what was best for the company was continuing the Hogan vs Piper feud. I think he had a point theres. Come WM1 though, Vince wanted Mr T to pin Roddy. Piper said that there was "no way he would take a fall for an outsider". I personally wonder if he would have taken a fall for Hogan that night. But no mention is made of that.

Piper's thoughts about WM1 & the lead-up are great. He talks about the press conferences, the night itself & the aftermath. In fact, it's what happened afterwards that soured Roddy a lot. Everyone had basically left the building to party, while he & Bob Orton had no way to get to their home/hotel. This made Roddy think who was the #1 ingredient that made WrestleMania successful. He came to the conclusion that it wasn't Hogan or Mr T. What people wanted to see was anybody kick Roddy Piper's a$$. While Hogan was getting pampered & paid heaps, Roddy wasn't. Also, Cyndi Lauper, who through her appearances & contacts gave the show immeasurable exposure, only got paid $1500.

Included in amongst paragraphs here are great stories on Jimmy 'Superfly' Snuka (it was Chief Jay Strongbow's idea to hit him with the coconut in the infamous Piper's Pit segment), Andre The Giant, what Vince was doing to make his success story even more successful (EG: buying houses in Connecticut for some of his wrestlers), and of course, what Roddy was doing to stay on top of the card.

Then came the match that Piper wishes he could take back; His WrestleMania 2 boxing match against Mr T. Piper didn't hide the fact that he hated Mr T & everyone knew it. He hated him so much more after the match & desperately wanted to shoot on him due to (a) Mr T having an advantage from how they were gloved up, (b) Mr T missing the scripted knockout punch, and (c) Mr T not taking a 2nd dive in the last round. One thing the match did do though, was start Roddy's face turn. Some of the spectators at the bout were chanting Roddy's name, and not Mr T's.

However, the face turn wasn't turning out to be completely positive, as it meant Vince now had to decide who was his top face; Hogan or Piper. Roddy knew who he was going to choose & made a bold & risky decision; To retire after WrestleMania 3. He did this to keep his name value high for a future return. The timing was great, as after Roddy's win over Adrian Adonis, he landed the lead role in John Carpenter's "They Live" movie.

It wasn't long until Piper was back in the WWF though & he worked pretty much right back into a scandal; The Grand Jury steroid scandal. At different times, Piper thought Vince was going to leave him to take the fall. So he devised a plan to fall back on. And of all things, it revolved around being tombstoned by The Undertaker! The rest of the story, as well as what happened after the trial is ironically funny in a very serious situation. I can't do Roddy's storytelling justice here.

In truth, the last 3 chapters/39 pages of the book (The Sickness, Commentary & WCW/Titles) are a bit of a hotch-potch of everything. It's almost as if there was some urgency to end the book & that it wouldn't have got published if it had more pages. Predominantly negative towards promoters, there is also a blend of information, more road stories & an overall conclusion as to what Roddy thinks professional wrestling needs. However, why talk about 1999 WCW & not mention the 1997/98 main event run against Hulk Hogan? Concluding a biography such as this is a difficult thing to do, and to be honest, it doesn't quite work. But again, just like his career, Piper dared to do things his way, and should be commended for that.


DESSERT

Book Conclusion & WrestleMania 21

Now I haven't had the pleasure of reading many professional wrestling biographies. In fact, I've only been able to read Mick Foley's, The Rock's, The Dynamite Kid's, Hulk Hogan's & Bill Goldberg's thus far. All of them are actually quite good & it is with high praise that amongst that collection, I rate "In The Pit With Piper" as second to Mick Foley's "Have A Nice Day".

In the review above, you would have noticed a few critical comments (especially the ending & some more detail needed here and there). You can add to that a gimmicky recurring theme called 'The Sickness' which I won't go into in great detail. But that's pretty much it. The majority of this book is superb. It's a genuine great read which has a good mix of information & entertainment. Piper's warped sense of storytelling really does help the biography, especially with his numerous road stories. And one thing that I really like is that most stories actually lead somewhere. They're not just there for the sake of it. They are there to prove a point.

Piper himself comes off as sincere & genuine (even on the likes of Hogan & Vince who he doesn't care for a great deal). At stages, he comes off as a little too over the top and/or opinionated. But guess what folks? That's pretty much the genuine 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper. Love him or hate him, he pretty much tells it like it is. The sincerity also shines through in that amongst all the seemingly selfish things he has done, I believe he has the good of professional wrestling, and his fellow wrestlers (or frat brothers as he calls them) as his major thought.

Overall, "In The Pit With Piper" is very much a recommended read.

And let's not forget that in less than 2 weeks time now, 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper will make his WWE return at WrestleMania 21. In amongst all the matches that have already been booked for the huge event, the Piper's Pit segment involving 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin has pretty much been forgotten. And it shouldn't. While the outcome may be a touch predictable (who's the one under some sort of WWE contract?), I'm looking forward to Roddy showing us at least glimpses of his best.

On the microphone, he was ahead of his time. But with such a personality as 'Stone Cold' to bounce off, there is no reason why Piper can't put a few of his mundane appearances of the past 2-3 years behind him & make an impact once more. I really hope he does, and to be honest, think he will.


Ok, that is all for edition #123 of 'The Wrestling Menu'. Hopefully, this column was up to scratch. Any feedback on nostalgia, legends, basics or Piper's book is quite welcome. With each book & DVD review I post, I always attempt to help someone decide on whether or not they will purchase it. So please don’t hesitate to ask me any questions about "In The Pit With Piper". I will endeavor to answer them as best I can. As per usual, I will reply to all feedback. My e-mail address is DaveyBoy123@bigpond.com

So, what's on the agenda for next week's 'Wrestling Menu'...??? Well, it's that time of the year that we all love; It's WrestleMania time. So I will have my predictions for WrestleMania 21. And I think that I will make it an all-WrestleMania column as I speak about the build up to this year's card & the overall importance of WrestleMania to the WWE each & every year. So look out for that column same Wednesday time & same LOP channel next week. Until then, this is DaveyBoy signing off & asking you to remember that dinner is best served in 3 courses.












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