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Submitted by Dumass on Thursday, March 17, 2005 at 3:00 AM EST
 This column is 'Edge/Lita/Matt Hardy Love Triangle' Free. Unlike everyone else in the IWC it seems, I could care less about what some people I'll never meet do in their spare time. _________________________________ This is as random as I can get with a set idea of what to write. Don't bother reading it unless you really want to. __________________________________ You ever question why you watch wrestling? Like, you just sit in your favorite chair and think "What is it that makes me want to watch a bunch of guys want to beat each other up for no real reason?". I haven't been able to answer that question in a long time. The wrestling nowadays is starting to go so beyond repair that I'm finding myself missing it on purpose. I dread Mondays and Thrusdays on a constant basis and I'm usually trying to find something to do when it comes time to watch it. The idea that wrestling used to be good until now is false; wrestling has always been good, it all depends on the audience it's being shown to. Obviously the people that are going to shows and such must like the product, or else, why would they go? I went to a Raw/Smackdown supershow for 45$ and got to sit right next to the entrance and it was pretty cool. I like going to live events because you can meet the other people who are in this cult called wrestling. You enjoy some live matches (which is a lot better than watching it on TV) and you just have fun with heckling the wrestlers. It's not just me either. Everyone does it. It feels great to see this stuff live because the fans are actaully part of the show. I have a thing. When I go to a live show, whether I hate the wrestler or not, I applaud them for going out there and working the match. I give them the appreciation and the respect they do deserve, regardless if I like them personally or not. There is something about going to a live event that you really take home with you and you can't get that while watching TV. I feel sorry for those people in other countries that have to wait years for the WWE to head to their side of the world.  You see that scrowl on the Frenchie's face? He knows that my sign is getting better ratings than him. RATINGS~! So, with all of this, why do we, as internet fans, constantly badmouth something that we apparently like a lot? It's an interesting idea to hate something that you seems to like. Recently, I've lost why I like wrestling. There was a time when I could easily name off one hundred (100) reasons to why I like it, now it's hard for me to muster up the courage to even say the common "I just like it" excuse. It's times like these where I remember the people that really made me like watching wrestling. They were simple and charismatic people who, at a first glance, you wouldn't even think about adding them to your list, but with thought and remembering what they've done, you would add them in an instant. 1) Brian Pillman, Hater of all 'smart marks' - Not Hollywood Blondes WCW Brian, not 'Loose Cannon' do-nothing-but-promos-and-wear-dresses WWF Brian. I'm talking Eric Jerkoff fuck-you-you-bunch-of-smart-marks ECW Brain. Nothing, I don't think, will ever beat the sheer over-the-top heat that Brian had in ECW. From making his first appearance in the arena to call Uncle Eric a coffee boy, to calling the ECW fans nothing but a bunch of "smart marks", to almost pissing in the middle of the ECW Arena, to beating the shit out of Shane Douglas, he was the epitome of heel heat. He commanded an audience in that place and you couldn't help but agree with everything he said; whether you liked him or not. He was so open during his time in ECW that he made me want to continue watching wrestling in 1996, just to see if it could get any better than him.  To all the women who read my column: Quit looking at Randy's ass and start paying attention to his shitty wrestling!! HEY RANDY!! I'M OVER HERE YOU MORON!! 2) Steve Austin, The day after KOTR '96 - Because I know people will wonder why, I do not like Steve Austin. I can't stand his personality. I can't stand his middle finger salutes. I can't stand his drinking beer before and after a match (a trait directly ripped from the Sandman, you WWE marks). I can't stand this guy at all. With that said, I will go to my grave saying that he is, without a doubt, one of the best wrestlers I've ever seen in the ring. Why do I pick Austin from 1996? Because it was then, when Austin gave 'Promo 3:16', I was officially hooked on this guy and his wrestling. I knew all about his WCW greatness days and I knew all about his WCCW greatness days, but both of those things do not compare to Austin for that sixteen (16) month stretch after KOTR 1996. I could be cheap and say that the Bret/Austin match at WM13 was one of the best matches I've ever seen from the WWF; but the subtlety of the pretty-forgotten Austin-Micheals/Davey Boy-Owen match for the Tag Titles was one of the best showings from all four (4) men. 3) Bret Hart, Heel and America Hater - In 1996, I hated the USA. I was a teenager: depressed, lonely, and pissed off at everything. Then I heard Bret Hart blame everything on America and, like everything else that's perfect, it connected. Bret Hart was the guy who knew how to make the 'anti-America' thing work to fullest extent. I remember going to a WWF show and I would hear people chant 'USA!! USA!! USA!!' and you would have this rather large area chant 'SUCKS!!' after each patriotic shoutout. To me, it was like I finally found people who felt the same way I did. It wasn't a wrestling gimmick to me, it was an ideal in my life. I've always loved Bret Hart and his face ways, but when he turned heel, I had something to continue. It affected me. How so? I became an 'anti-American' heel when he did and it flowed right out of me.  Maven 4 The Rock 2006!! As for my sign, I'm like a more badass version of Where's Waldo. God, I'm awesome. I'm not going to include a lot of the other people that really influenced me. It just seems like I'm going on a rememberance tangent and I don't want to bore the rest of you how have read this far. Point is, wrestling doesn't need to be badmouthed; especially at this time, when we could be losing it from our cable access. I don't know if the USA Channel will pick up the WWE, but if they don't, then we must take some responsibility for running it to the ground. ______________________________________________ Remember that radio column I did that everyone loved? Well..due to the overwhelming postive response that I recieved, I'm happy to report that I, along with some fellow columnists, will be opening up our own radio station site the Friday before Wrestlemania, WrestlingUnited.com(link). I want to thank all of you for the support. So, spread the word and bring the noise, the IWC has a real radio station to hear. Thanks for reading, I guess. I'll be back later with a better column, I promise. Dumass <----Email me!! AIM: Dumass4k Lethal Wrestling - Off The Hook Like Robert Blake. *NEW GALLERY* Vince & Stephanie McMahon Playing with the NEW BABY!!
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