Take up thy wrestling boots and walk - Batista readiness, Hassan/Jericho, Cena hatred, Shawn/Angle more
Submitted by Pt2 on Sunday, February 20, 2005 at 7:55 PM EST





Welcome once again to the column that makes Buff Bagwell and Lex Luger look like America’s most wanted, Take up thy wrestling boots and walk. I’m the man who makes Vince McMahon’s knee look indestructible, Pt2, back once again to talk about, god forbid, professional wrestling. Bet you didn’t see that one coming. You did? Well, aren’t we little miss Nostradamus.

Seriously, it’s been too long, and I’m glad to be back. Without any further ado, lets get straight into this one.


Anyone enjoying the shows in the build up to Wrestlemania? I think the best way you can describe them is inconsistent. Not in the more traditional way of one good show, one bad following it, this year, they seem to be going with great segments and bad segments within the same show. Hopefully the prospect of Batista vs. Triple H will bring in the buy-rates that the better booking in this feud deserves.

Speaking of Batista and Hunter, there haven’t been many segments between them that I haven’t liked, but I’ve noticed one thing about Batista that I can’t say I’m too fond of in recent weeks. He’s got great intensity, and he can pull off calm and collected, as we saw in the promo in the ring with Hunter a few weeks back… but try and combine his intensity with his speaking, and he becomes generic eighties big man number 478,123. Not what you want in a world champion. Luckily, it’s a problem with a simple answer, and that is, drum roll please: In any situation that he needs to look pissed off, intense and dominant, give him the Goldberg treatment and don’t have him say anything. It worked for Bill, and he’s nowhere NEAR as impressive as our Dave Batista.


Will Muhammed Hassan vs. Chris Jericho be the opening bout on the Wrestlemania card? After their interaction on this past week’s RAW show, I wouldn’t bet against it, unless there is a Cruiserweight championship bout in there. Although Jericho should be higher up the card, he has successfully opened a big Wrestlemania before now (At Wrestlemania XVII for those with poor memories, defeating William Regal in Houston, Texas), and with Hussan’s status the perfect place on the card to put him is at the beginning. Hassan is young, and drawing heat, and a quick win for Jericho here early on will get the crowd into it. Just makes sense. Also, look for fans shouting “U.S.A.” at a Canadian.

According to the WWE website, the date and location for this year’s Taboo Tuesday has already been set. I enjoyed the last PPV, and I think they are right to carry on with it - though I think it really is the only of the extra PPV’s that they should have added. All the others, Great American Bash, New Years Revolution and generic PPV name 15, we can do without. To be honest, I could live with just the big 5 back. But, I can’t see it going back to that now. Why make money out of us 5 times when you can make it 12 eh?

I like the main event scene on Smackdown!, but did we really need a “Barbed Wire Cage Match”? Lets be honest, that isn’t going to push the buy rate up all that much. I think the Big Show is great, I’m a much bigger fan than most people, but in all honesty, it’s a throw away match. We all know that he isn’t going to be walking away with the title. If people believed he had a chance, then maybe extra people would turn in. He doesn’t, and they won’t. You’ll get a few extra buys with this, sure, but not many. It’ll also turn away any of the “Parental” market you might have. You might get 50 or 100 people who wouldn’t have bought watch, but this PPV will mostly be watched by the same people who watch all the PPV’s.

OK, rant over. Onto something positive. But before I do, does anyone else think that a “Barbed Wire Steel Cage” match just sounds…. Dumb? Ok, I’m not alone. Cool.

Best thing for the WWE to do? Have Cena win. What do I want to happen? I want Angle to win and for them to come up with something for Wrestlemania that way. Man, I fucking hate John Cena. Wanna hear the weird thing? I don’t even hate the parts of the show he is in, or the fact that he is wrestling Kurt Angle in a high profile match on the PPV before Wrestlemania. I’ve never met the man, and as such I won’t judge him based on the rumours about his unwillingness to improve - as such I don’t even hate him personally.
But I hate his character with a passion. You might like it, and that’s fine, run with it, enjoy it, I don’t care, because all I know is, that I’ll cheer for anyone over John Cena. I don’t think he is ready for his spot on the card, I think his character is paper thin and he’ll stumble at the top in much the same way Guerrero did, and I think he should be a heel learning the ropes somewhere.

I recognize that with his status as the top face on Smackdown!, it just makes sense for him to come out on top against Angle and then go on to end JBL’s winning streak, but the feeling I get is that he’ll make a really shitty champion, and with the marvellous job that they’ve done with JBL, I can’t stand to watch them throw it all away. I recognize that since he gets people into the live shows that they’ll probably give it to him, but I also think that if he’s given a title reign that goes on for more than a month or so after Wrestlemania then people will be leaving rather than coming in.

Hey, give it to Booker T, I could dig that. I’m sure fans would be down with it and John could strut around with his spinning title belt for a while. I’m not normally this negative, and I don’t like to knock the WWE or any of it’s wrestlers, so I hope John Cena proves me wrong. I just don’t think he will.

I’m going to keep it on Smackdown! For a minute. Lets face it, it’s an ever changing landscape there. RAW has been moving along nicely for the past few months, and while it’s given us a lot to say in the past, when it comes to Mania time, everything is pretty much said and done, and you know what is going down.

Smackdown!, on the other hand, was directionless for a long time, and has only recently thrown on the breaks and pulled everything back into working order in time to put on a decent show in their half of Wrestlemania. In fairness to them, while most of the roster has been phoning it in, the guys who have turned the show around have done a hell of a job. Between Layfield, Angle, Big Show et al, the show has really turned around and become, in parts, fun to watch again. It’s not easy to change the show up like that, and that change means there is more shit that you didn’t expect to see, or new things happening every week.

As regards the authority on Smackdown!, leave it with Theodore Long. The Smackdown! Hot seat has been filled with more asses than a Manchester United supporters club, and it’s about time it got some stability. The Carlito campaign to kick Long out should end in failure, and Carlito should suffer a bit, in some kind of revenge move. It’s a shame Tajiri is on RAW actually, because I would LOVE to see Carlito try and do his apple thing, but before he can spit, Tajiri hit’s the mist. That’d be great, even though as soon as you saw them together you’d know it was coming.

Man, I’m looking forward to Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania. I think it’ll be as good quality as the match at Wrestlemania XIX between Shawn and Jericho, but I think to suit Angle, it’ll be more WWE style, with a lot more of an “entertainment” feel to it, than the earlier match had. As for who should win…. Whoever they want to win. At this point in both men’s career, I don’t think it matters. Shawn and Kurt can afford to lose to the other without it being a big deal. Personally, I’d like to see Shawn win, but that is based on my being a Shawn Michaels fan since I was a kid. As good as Kurt Angle is, you don’t fuck with that. Simply put, I expect something very decent from these two and I think that we shall get one that’ll we will be talking about for years. Whether it reaches the heights of some of Shawn’s other Wrestlemania matches, like Wrestlemania X against Razor or Wrestlemania XII against Bret, we’ll have to wait and see, but it certainly has the potential to.



And now for something completely different.

I’m quite lucky, in that I have this forum in which to write my thoughts on a subject that I have a certain passion for: I’m guessing that everyone reading this shares that passion, for professional wrestling. We all watch it, and we are all in one way or another fans. We all have our opinions. Yes, I realise how lucky I am to have the position on this website. And I want to help others get the same opportunity.

So, I’m starting up a new section, called In the ring with the champ. Past readers of the column will know of the YBTB booking contests that we run in this column. I decided to offer more of an incentive than bragging rights. Whoever shall hold the title of YBTB champion, shall get a place in this column, every time I put one out, that doesn’t feature a title defence. While this may not be the biggest or most successful column on the net (and I’m well aware it isn’t’) I’m fortunate for the opportunity I have, and encourage others to try their luck at YBTB, and share their thoughts with the world. It doesn’t matter where you come from, all will be considered.

And now, lets get straight into the first of a hopefully successful new section, In the ring with the champ: Xanman. Xan, whats on your mind buddy?

Xanman: Pt2, whenever one thinks about the WWF today, one has to consider RAW the better of the two brands, right? However, this week RAW had two outstanding matches that *still* got outclassed by the main event of Smackdown. In fact, the week before the Royal Rumble, Smackdown had the best 2 matches with JBL/Angle and the 4-Way Dance. What gives?

Pt2: I think it's generally the case of better build up meaning better reaction. But go on, I'm interested.

Xanman: Well, what if what we're seeing here is a reversal of what happened a year and a half ago when Smackdown started falling off and RAW started rising? After all, once Batista faces Triple H for the World Title at Wrestlemania--and don't kid yourselves, it will happen--there isn't a lot of new ground left for RAW to cover. They've shot their load, so to speak. Don't get me wrong, I don't think RAW's going to drop to anywhere near the level Smackdown did, but I think people are becoming interested in JBL as champion, I think people want to see John Cena, I think their tag-team scene is coming alive. Meanwhile, RAW's faces are losing some pops: Benoit, Orton, even Jericho. And, Shelton Benjamin could be their next big star, but is hardly given any time to perform. It sure seems to me that the playing fields are levelling.

3 weeks ago, I was impressed. The 3 weeks before that I didn't really care to watch. I doubt I'm the only one the show is growing on.

Pt2: I'll be honest, I've noticed some improvements over on Smackdown too. It may not be must-see TV at the minute, but I think it's picking up some momentum and becoming a much more fun show to watch than it was.

Xan: Exactly. It's still not on the same level as RAW, but it's getting there. They're developing a tag division, their champion has become outstanding and made the championship something that should really be coveted, the "spinny" belt has added some new flair, and the Eddie G/Booker T budding rivalry is becoming some great viewing. If only they'd give a little more attention to the cruiserweights, it could be the perfectly balanced show. Well, that and get rid of Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson.

Pt2: The Spinny belt has added some flair? Personally, I'm not a fan. Want to try and convince me?

Xanman: Not really. I could no more convince you to like it than I could make you believe that what you guys call "chips" are actually French fries.

However, I will tell you that it fits perfectly with Cena's personality much like the Smoking Skull belt fit with Stone Cold's. Personally, I've loved every version of the U.S. Title since Bret Hart won the tourney for the vacant one back in 1998; I just think it sets a cool atmosphere when Cena comes out, starts the spin and struts down to the ring.

Kind of like, "I'm so cool I can do whatever I please." I think the U.S. Title--young as it is in the WWF--needed something to revive interest in it. The spinny belt and C-cubed are it, methinks. Could Kenzo pull that belt off? No, and hopefully he'll never get it, but that's why they have the old flag belt to fall back on.

Pt2: What would you say in response to the traditionalists like myself who think that the belt should be something that you are proud to wear, and not something that you should change? Incidentally, I felt the same about the smoking skull belt.

Xanman: Well, I can certainly understand where that point of view is coming from. Especially when it comes to the Smoking Skull belt. But, with the US Title? You've got to be kidding me. The thing that Cena took back from C-cubed had no credibility whatsoever. Not even a best of 5 series with Booker could help that. No, I think a long run from Cena--which we're probably not going to get---would be the best thing for it, and if that means a spinny belt the rest of his reign? Que sera.

Do I think everyone should get to do that with a championship? No, but some people's personalities just call for it. Austin's fuck the rules attitude was one of them, and so is Cena's ruck the fules.

Pt2: Well, it's almost time to bring this to a close, but before we do, Xan, I wonder if you'd care to share with us what you see happening with the US championship over the next few months?

Xanman: Well, that's a tough one, Prime Time. As I'm sending this, No Way Out is about 2 hours away, and I expect Shawn Michaels to superkick John Cena to victory, sending him to the main event of Wrestlemania, most likely against JBL. So, if I were the GM, I'd make it a title for title affair. You've got two champions, why not throw both belts on the line?

I expect Cena will walk out with both of them, and there will be something set up to crown a new U.S. Champion. Now, you know that I think it should be a tourney any time you have a vacant strap, but in this case they've just finished one. So, maybe something similar to the 6-man elimination last year would work...if they didn't just do that about 8 months ago.

The title just can't take much more loss of credibility, and another vacancy certainly won't help it. So, what I propose is that the loser of the WWF Title match at Wrestlemania becomes U.S. Champion. I know it won't be a popular opinion, since you shouldn't lose and be awarded a title, but JBL has been so great for so many months and I don't see anybody else that is U.S. Title material at this point. I believe he'll play well off being a "losing" champion.

Pt2: You know, at first I didn't like that idea.... but as I think about it more, if JBL was to hang around the top of the card with Cena for a while, on the US title, then I think he could pull out something watchable. Personally, I think a tournament or a battle royale is more likely, and I'd prefer to see them (the mark in me can't get enough), but your idea certainly isn't bad.

We’ll bring this to a close here, I think. Xan, thank you for joining me.

And thank you all for reading. I hope you enjoyed this one. I should be back soon with a new column, and with any luck it’ll feature the very Xanman whose thoughts you just read, against YBTB rumble winner Random Guy 5, in a rematch from last Decembers contest. After that we have a great list of contestants coming up who’ll fancy their chances.

Until then, you can leave feedback for me at Takeupthywrestlingboots@gmail.com or for Xanman at xanmanx@hotmail.com. If you have any comments about anything I’ve said here, feel free to get in touch.

Don’t forget to check out the great writers in the columns forum, home of YourAyatollah, Morpheus, Xanman, That Darn Frog, Random Guy 5, and a host of other fine writing talents. If you’ve got some time to kill, stop in, read a column and tell the guy what you think of it.

Until next time, Take care.

Pt2.









*NEW GALLERY* Wow! Very Rare but AMAZING Natalya Neidhart Bedroom Photos!

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