A Dumass Thought - Somebody Hates Me
Submitted by Dumass on Friday, January 28, 2005 at 1:21 AM EST
I just made an enemy of someone
I don't know and they
Are upset about somethin'
That I must have done.
It really doesn't make much sense
Well I've got no statement in my defense
I know, no matter what,
No matter who,
No matter what i do.
Somebody hates me
And I hate somebody too.
Did you misunderstand something that i did
Or was there one
Of my jokes that you didn't get
Or do you think
You've got the way i think
All figured out.
What did I say,
Do make you feel i'm not cool now?
I know, no matter what
No matter who
No matter what I do,
Somebody hates me,
And I hate somebody too.
I know its wrong,
But I do it to
And I guess I should say,
Don't let it get to you.
I know, no matter what
No matter who
No matter what I do
Somebody hates me
And I hate somebody too
Somebody like you.
- Reel Big Fish
Check them out here: Official Site.
_____________________________
You know, everyone nowadays wants to go after a guy who seems to be a threat. I did when I was in school. No one, I thought, should be better than me at anything. Well, sooner or later, I had to exchange that idea because I found out the hard way that there are a lot of other people better than me in a lot of things. There still are, and I seem to be learning from those people a lot more than I used to. There are some people though that have the same metality that I had and seem to not let it go. For whatever reason, they hold themselves higher than a lot of other people because they 1) have been doing it longer than most and 2) they've recieved a lot of attention for doing their work. Hey, I have no problem with that. I think that if you can continue to do something that you enjoy doing, I think it's safe to say that having an ego of sorts is fine; and with that, I present a piece of writing that the IWC equivalent to Father Time has written about yours truly:
"TUESDAY January 26, 2005: 01:24 PM: Oh dear... some things never change. Wade Keller, a man DESPERATE to be a major web presense... simply and utterly REFUSES to swallow his pride and steal the spoilers from other sites ("Other sites?", sez Wade, "You mean there are other web sites other than THE TORCH??") is forced to twiddle his balls and wait for some kind, sympathetic Torch reader to send him the spoilers... which Robert Rimmer eventually did... possibly out of pity.
Robert Rimmer... heh, I bet! Rimmer.... HAW! *COUGHhomoHACK*
But alas... Keller didn't even come in last... oh no, THAT honor belongs to none other than THE LORDS OF PAIN who, as of Thurday morning at 2:12 am have YET to put up their spoilers. Looks like someone's parents forgot to PAY THEIR INTERNET BILL!!!!!!!! LOOOOSERS!! LOOOOOOOOSERS!!!
Heh... Lords of Pain... they ain't kidding either, they are the MASTERS at inflicting migraines on any unsuspecting sap who tries to read their columns! They even got a clone of ME, colorfully named "Dumass:, who had the bright idea to do Anger Fueled- Cynical column. In his last one he promised that in his next column he's going to "something that no one in the IWC has ever done for a column (at least, not that I can remember); I'm going to speak directly to my fans."
Yeah, no one EVER does that... oh no... no one.
And you don't HAVE fans, you have READERS, you unoriginal fuckhead.
Here's a clue for all of you... when a writer wants to talk directly to his fans READERS, it means he officially thinks he is more interesting than the thing he's talking about. I should know... it's been my M.O. since.... forever.
Dumass is virtually unreadable... and a total fake, he isn't that interesting.
I'll give you a couple of minutes to breathe after laughing at that.
Ok. First off, I don't think that Calvin is as stupid as most people and would attack Hyatte with an "inside rib" with my name. The whole "I R TEH MASTR OF TEH IWCCCC~!" thing is pretty dumb to begin with, but hey, if it gets your dick rising, then I guess it works.
Let's disect this little blurb, so we can really experience the "stupidity" factor that seems to be shown here (pS: I AIM RIPING OOF HYATTE WRITE NNOW~! HAHAHALOLAOHAHAHA~@~!@#!@$^#$!@!!.)
Heh... Lords of Pain... they ain't kidding either, they are the MASTERS at inflicting migraines on any unsuspecting sap who tries to read their columns! They even got a clone of ME, colorfully named "Dumass:, who had the bright idea to do Anger Fueled- Cynical column.
If I'm inflicting migrianes on anyone for reading my column, I should be in the Legion of Doom, so my evil super powers don't go to waste. I could be "Bayer Man" or "Tylenlite" or "NyQuil" or something cool like that and I could be causing headaches all over the world with stuff and....this isn't worth it.
As for being a clone of Hyatte, I'll be the first to admit that I'm a fairly great guy who tries to have a good time. My problem is that I usually get angry at obviously stupid things and I write to relieve that stress and anger. I would use pills, but I think that they are crutches and I don't want to be forced to feel good. I write in a cynical fashion because I am cynical; imagen that!! Can I turn it on and off? Yeah, probably, but then again, why should I?
I write anger-filled columns because that's what people read it as. I don't write columns with a red face, yelling at the screen and smashing the keyboard. I love the fact that if anyone writes something with negativity, suddenly you're labeled an asshole and always thinking negatively. I've discussed this before in another column found right here on the main page.
Wow. You mean there is someone else writing negatively on the internet? And it's Hyatte? Who gives a fuck?
In his last one he promised that in his next column he's going to "something that no one in the IWC has ever done for a column (at least, not that I can remember); I'm going to speak directly to my fans."
That's right. Everyone tune for that one.
Yeah, no one EVER does that... oh no... no one.
And you don't HAVE fans, you have READERS, you unoriginal fuckhead.
No. You have readers. You have people who read your work out of habit. They see a new column and feel obligated to read your work. You have readers, Hyatte; I have fans. I have new people read my work and I have new people email me telling me that they will read my stuff from now on. I have people who actually tell me how great I am.
Wait hold on, I'm going to write that last part like you would.
I have PEOPLE who ACTUALLY TELL ME how GREAT I am.
Wow, that looks stupid. Don't do that again, please. If it's not your fault, please buy a new keyboard.
I have fans, Hyatte. No one emails me or AIMs me and says "I'm a big reader of your columns"; they say that they are fans. So, I treat them as fans, not readers; I have a little more respect for my readers and fans than that.
Here's a clue for all of you... when a writer wants to talk directly to his READERS, it means he officially thinks he is more interesting than the thing he's talking about.
Not really. You don't know what I'm planning on talking about. I'll let the cat out of the bag and tell everyone that I'm going to talk about wrestling, so there goes your logic all together. I would agree with you if I was just going to talk about myself, but then why would I be on a wrestling newsite? I want to try something new and some people have requested that I "speak" on my column; so I'll give it a try. Kids, remember when I said that you should never assume because it would make an "ass" of "u" and "me"? You're seeing a prime example of that with Grandfather IWC here.
I should know... it's been my M.O. since.... forever.
Funny. I thought your M.O. was taking it up the ass by Flea while you look for Japanese dickgirl scat pictures and Flea promising to put you on the IWC 100 if you let him cum on your mantits.
I know you can't be talking about the whole thing you said before because I remember Barbwire Mike doing that a hell of a lot better than you.
Do you get emails from people saying you ripped off of Maddox also? If you do, then we might have something in common.
I guess I'll never know. I don't read your columns.
Dumass is virtually unreadable
If I'm "virtually unreadable", that would mean that I can be readable, but not always. Thanks for the plug.
and a total fake,
This is the internet. Everything is fake. Welcome. You've got mail.
he isn't that interesting.
I must be to some people because I have people who read my columns, send me emails, call me on the phone, IM me on AIM, write me letters in the mail, and talk shit about me on their columns(wink wink).
Oh yeah. I believe you when you say I'm not "that interesting".
_________________________
Thanks for reading, I guess.
Oh yeah, I want to thank the Honky Tonk Man for plugging my "Russo is a bitch" column a while back. Yes, the Honky Tonk Man. I was going to thank him the week after the plug, but never got around to it; so I give major thanks.
Dumass <----Email me!!
AIM: Dumass4k
Lethal Wrestling - Making Hyatte look like a million bucks......of horseshit.
*NEW GALLERY* She's Still XTREME! Hot New Pix of Former WWE Diva BROOKE ADAMS!!!
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