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Submitted by Phantom Lord on Thursday, January 13, 2005 at 3:10 AM EST
You decide to take a break from work for a few minutes, and head over to LOP to check on the latest happenings in the wrestling world, when you see that the December Column Of The Month has been posted. Recalling what happened last time you clicked on that link, you quickly scroll past it. Just as the link clears the top of your screen it flashes a brilliant white light, and then goes black. The blinding flash of light leaves spots in your vision, and as they finally begin to clear, you see the image of an hourglass before you, and you watch as it turns over. The first grains of sand hit the bottom of the chamber, stealing you from consciousness as you once again begin to…  Volume Twenty – My Scrying Eye 01/12/2005 Welcome, Dreamers, to the landmark Twentieth Edition of Enter The Dream Realm. I am Morpheus, Master of the Dreaming, and I will be your guide through this land of Nightmares and Dreamscapes. It’s been a hellacious couple of weeks at work, but this second Special Main Page Edition of ETDR has finally arrived. It seems like just a couple weeks ago we were doing this very thing, probably because it was only a couple of weeks ago! I have been humbled and honored once again by the members of the LOP Forums by having this column voted Column of the Month for the second month in a row. It is the first time any column has won such a distinction twice in a row, and only the second time (to the best of anyone’s recollection) that a column has won more than one COTM ever; a distinction which I now share with my all-time favorite column, All About The Game, by YourAyatollah. Needless to say, it is a huge honor for me to know that people think so highly of this little column, and words cannot accurately express my gratitude for those sentiments. So, again, for voting ETDR your December Column of the Month, I will simply extend my humble gramercy to those who made it happen. My sincerest thanks go out to Blackman, Zuma420, 10escalus02, Crazy Brit, GoodYearPimp, CanadianKid, ThatDarnFrog, Starling313, Philip Van Philie, Big Brother, Austin, BTB117, RIPBossman, Spark, kanefan40, BloodOfTheInnocent, and Styxx for their votes of confidence. As some small measure of repayment, I have again included a link to the latest columns by each of the above people that write columns here at LOP. Again, many thanks, and I hope I can once again do you and the rest of the Columns Forum proud! Now, for those of you who haven’t read my column before, allow me to give you a brief rundown of what you’ll see here. The Daydreams section is all about random happenings in the wrestling world over the past week. In the Counting Sheep section, I will present the results of my “Best World Champion of 2004” Poll from the LOP Forums. The Dreamscapes section is the heart and soul of ETDR, and this week focuses on the year ahead and what we may expect to see. The Nightmares section is much like the Daydreams section, except focuses on the crap that happened over the last week in our beloved world of wrestling. In Technicolor Dreaming this week, I will take a look at what is perhaps one of the greatest animated films of all time. Finally, Vanishing Vagaries sums up the main points of each section and closes out the column on a (hopefully) high note. That about does it, so enough banter. Now that you know what you are in for, hopefully you will find this sojourn through the Dream Realm both enlightening and entertaining. So, without any further ado, let the Dreams begin!  - Line Of The Week: Shawn Michaels (regarding the “You Screwed Bret” chant) – “Edge, you’ve got some fellow Canadians. What is it with you people coming to Florida? Stay in your own country! If you think your gonna rumple the Heartbreak Kid, you’ve got another thing coming! Don’t mess with my TV time, I’m talkin’ here!” - It has now been confirmed that Abyss is in fact leaving TNA in search of a contract with the WWE, and will likely be signed by the promotion due to his large stature and agility in the ring. The only thing I question is what they will do with Mr. Chris Park, as I highly doubt his KaneKind gimmick (Kane/Mankind Hybrid, for those playing along at home) will get him very far in the company. Steve-O and I were discussing this very thing, and we came to the conclusion that whatever they choose to do with him, we can only hope that he wrestles with his shirt on. - Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero this past SmackDown! was a breath of fresh air, and one of the better matches I have seen on the Blue Brand in quite some time. I am liking the friendly rivalry business that has been going on between Bookererro and ReyVD, and hopefully it will lead to some good segments and better matches in the coming weeks. - I am somewhat bewildered right now after having watched this week’s edition of Impact. Could it be that there is a Kings Of Wrestling storyline that is actually…good? This may very well be the first time Hall and Nash have been involved in something worthwhile since the original NWO, and the first time EVER for Jarrett! I can’t wait to see how they will ruin it…I… I mean… How it will turn out… - I know I am not the only one who detected HHH’s subtle digs at the IWC in his opening promo on RAW this past Monday. “Go on, let me hear it. Is it Politics? Favoritism?” I note however, that he left perhaps the most popular one off of his list. “Is it because I’m fucking the Boss’s daughter?”  Top Five World Champions of 2004 About two weeks ago, I posted a poll in the LOP Polls and Rankings Forum that asked the question who people felt the Best World Champion of 2004 was. Included in the poll were all of the 2004 world champions from TNA, ROH (minus Aries who won the title after the poll was posted) and both brands of the WWE. I am posting the results as of this evening here now, but the poll is still open, so if you are a member of the forums please feel free to vote if you haven’t done so already! I am always curious to hear people’s opinions on these types of things. An honorable mention goes out to both Randy Orton and AJ Styles, both of whom received a single vote at the time of this writing. Remember, the thoughts presented in this section are those of my readers and fellow posters, so if you disagree, don’t hold me responsible! 5. Brock Lesnar – To me, the shocking choice for this poll. Considering he was only champion for the first month and a half of 2004, as well as the lack of any standout matches other than his loss to Eddie, combined with his unceremonious departure from the company a mere month later, I was quite surprised to see him make the grade here. Still, I suppose being as formidable a force as this man is, it is hard not to stand up and take notice, especially when he carries the banner of his brand on his shoulder. 4. Triple H – Received only a single vote in the poll, but more by email, I am honestly surprised that he is ranked as low as this. Despite the general hatred of HHH that has proliferated through every corner of the internet, he has had a great year, and some great feuds and matches as champion; though he does often end up looking weak in comparison to other competitors. I think that may contribute to his low rank here. 3. Samoa Joe – Picking up just under 10% of the vote is the longest reigning champion we’ve seen in quite some time, and by all accounts he is very worthy of that distinction. Samoa Joe carried the big gold in ROH from March 22, 2003 all the way up through December 26, 2004, taking on and defeating all comers, until Austin Aries finally wrested the belt from his grasp. If that title reign doesn’t scream “great champion” than I don’t know what does! 2. John Bradshaw Layfield – If you had told me at the beginning of the year that this guy would have turned out to be one of the best, or even worst for that matter, World Champions of the year, I likely would have urinated upon your shoes with laughter. Yet, with 20% of the vote, that is exactly what he became. While he still sucks a bit of the ass in the ring, he has taken his “Million Dollar Man ‘04” gimmick and made into something worth watching, while giving SmackDown! the much needed kick in the ass it required. 1. Chris Benoit – The overwhelming winner with over 60% of the tallied votes, Chris Benoit definitely proved in 2004 that he is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the real deal. Constantly overcoming near impossible odds, making even the most tenacious of opponents submit, and showing that he is by far the best damn technical wrestler in this business today, he has gained a new found respect from wrestling fans the world over. You would be hard pressed to find anyone who could truly dispute the fact that 2004 was definitely the Year of the Crippler.  My Scrying Eye oneiromancy (oh-nye’-row-man’-see): n. - The practice of predicting the future through interpretation of dreams. With the advent of yet another New Year, it is always an enjoyable prospect to look ahead to what the next twelve months will bring to all aspects of our lives. For the Prince of Dreams here, it is particularly gratifying to postulate what the future holds for the Sport of Kings and those who dedicate their lives to it; something that many of my fellow wrestling fans also find pleasure in dabbling in. When people make their predictions on the coming year in wrestling, opinion and cynicism tend to cast a haze on the clarity of these glimpses into the future. As the Dream Master, I need not rely on contemplation or conjecture to gain insight into forthcoming occurrences. I only need use the omnipotence that comes along with being the Father of Fantasy to peer beyond the shadows of time and foretell the events that have not yet come to pass. In most prediction columns, you get the substance of supposition and speculation. What you are about to read is a device of deliberation and divination. Below you will find cryptic prophecies that I have divined through my scrying powers from the ether in the Hall of Crystal in the Dream Realm. Think about each line for a moment and see if you can figure out the meaning behind the words. Then, an explanation of each portent is given in black text below it, which you only need highlight with your mouse in order to read. I am interested to hear what your ideas are in regards to these mystic predictions, and if they differ from my interpretations in any way, so please feel free to send a response my way letting me know what your opinions are. Without any further delay, let us get on with the first of these prophecies… Those Most Sought After will lead the call to the Revival of the Dyad. Tag Team wrestling, with few exceptions, has been caught in a lull period for the last couple of years, and is due for some measure of resurgence this year. Who better to lead this battle cry for the return of Tag Team wrestling to its former glory than quite possibly the greatest Tag Team in America right now: America’s Most Wanted? With stellar matches and excellent chemistry, this team definitely lives up to its moniker as the most sought after team in wrestling today. The cleansing Red Flames of Rage will engulf The Dispatcher, turning Sin to Ash in the wake of Vengeance. After months of torment at the hands of the man who ended his wife’s pregnancy, the Big Red Machine will finally exact his revenge against Snitsky, gaining the upper hand in the final match of their long and heated feud. He will end up going as far as putting Snitsky out of action for an indeterminate amount of time, and whether or not the big man will return to the company following his recuperation sits just beyond the reach of my penetrating gaze. Either way, one thing is for certain, and that is the flames of Kane’s wrath will burn the sin out of Snitsky, and teach him the lesson of why he is a force to be reckoned with. The Man who walks the Straight and Narrow will be rewarded for his journey down the Path of Honor and Righteousness. One man has put on several stellar battles for the ROH Heavyweight Championship, but has always come up just short against the abominable Samoa Joe. Joe has finally lost the title which he held firmly around his waist for the better part of 2 years, and my foresight tells me he is not long for the ROH World. However, the man who prides himself on living the Straight Edge Lifestyle, CM Punk, will finally climb the final rung of that ladder and have his hand raised as the Ring of Honor Heavyweight Champion. The Descendants of Eve will replenish their ranks and begin to rebuild the stature that once was lost. With the release of several of the female wrestlers in 2004, the Women’s Division on RAW was cut literally in half, and was whittled down to four actual trained wrestlers. With Lita’s recent knee injury that will bench her for a number of months, this number has now dropped to just three. The WWE will recognize that this Division is teetering on the edge of disaster, and will beef up the ranks with more talent, leading to a stronger division and some great Women’s wrestling in the coming year. The Rising Sun will beckon its Favored Son to return to its ancient storied shores. This may simply be wishful thinking on my part, but I honestly feel that one man can only suck for so long before karma kicks in and he is given his walking papers. My powers of foresight tell me that 2005 will be the year that the wheel of destiny finally catches up with one Mr. Kenzo Suzuki, and he will be making the long trip back home to Japan, the Land of the Rising Sun, only this time to stay. The Warrior with the Heart of a Lion will become the Ruler of his Pride. It has been nearly three years since the last time that the Lionheart held World Championship Gold, and that dry spell is nearing its conclusion at long last. In 2005, we will finally see Chris Jericho re-ascend to his rightful position as a Main Event Player in the WWE, and recapture the World Title he lost so long ago. How long his title reign will be is still obscured in the blackness of the ether, but it is guaranteed to bring much joy to wrestling fans the world over. The Alliance of Three Kingdoms shall crumble under the weight of their rulers’ Greed and Discontent. The once-infallible coalition between three men at the top of the food chain in TNA has now come into question, as the NWA World Title has begun to come between two of the Kings of Wrestling. We have seen the beginnings of dissent between the members of this faction, and it seems that the avarice of these proud men will overcome the strength of their loyalty to one another. One can only hope that this doesn’t lead to a title reign for Kevin Nash, but again, not all things can be seen, and stranger things have happened… The Odyssey of a near-score of years has reached a plateau among the most high, but will not again know the Glory of Everest. It took this ferocious competitor eighteen years to finally make his way to the top of the mountain in the WWE, and once he got there, The Rabid Wolverine showed wrestling fans all over the world that he is without a doubt one of the best in the business today, and quite possibly ever. Despite the stellar year, and outstanding title reign that was cut short by the up-and-coming young Randy Orton, it seems that fate does not hold a second run in the cards for Chris Benoit. He will spend the majority of 2005 floating in and around the Main Event, but the second title reign will always be just out of his reach. The Peaceful Man shall leave his Place of Honor to embark upon a journey into the Blue. Hailing from a little island in the peaceful Ocean of the Pacific, a man who has become known as one of the most dominant champions in recent memory will leave his current home in search of a new life. Samoa Joe will part ways with ROH in 2005, and sign a multi-year contract with the WWE. Just how many years and how much money will be involved, remains unclear, but Joe will rise quickly through the ranks on the SmackDown! brand. The Leviathan will rise from the depths and claim his Dominion atop the Mountains above. The closing months of 2004 proved to be great ones for the man formerly known as Leviathan, and 2005 looks to be even bigger for the Animal of Evolution, Dave Batista. This cryptic message from the nether realm could be taken two different ways. First, it could mean that Batista will finally reach out and touch the World Heavyweight Championship, and it will have his name on the faceplate. Second, it could mean that DAVE outlasts 29 other men to become the winner of the 2005 Royal Rumble to fulfill his destiny and Main Event WrestleMania 21. It could be one of those two, or both, but either way, Batista will part ways with HHH in the coming months and make himself at home in his new dominion atop the WWE mountain. Three Men will know for the first time the intoxicating Touch of Midas. The World Titles in each of the big 3 organizations will change hands a few times in the coming year, but there are three specific individuals whose magic touch will turn their present lot into World Title Gold for the first time in 2005. First, Monty Brown will capture his first NWA World Championship this year, likely before the midpoint, but that is not yet set in stone. Second, John Cena will finally move past his role in the second tier of the SmackDown! brand, and step into the Main Event where he will earn his first WWE Championship, which he will then proceed to make a silly spinning version of in order to “Keep it Real.” Last, but definitely not least, after months of frustrating near-misses, Edge will finally get his hands on the World Heavyweight Championship on RAW, and though it is not clear when, SummerSlam 2005 seems to be a recurring image in my mind… That which has been called Beyond this World shall set foot upon this plane no more. After a decade and a half entertaining wrestling fans the world over, the man known affectionately as The Phenom will once again return to the grave, this time not to be seen or heard from again. The Undertaker will have his final match in the WWE sometime in 2005, and will finally take his leave from the company and business that has made him a household name. For years to come, his name will be synonymous with the WWE, and highlights from his career will live in the hearts and minds of his fans long after he has passed from this world. The Once Mighty Oak shall find itself away from the Sun, fallen in the shadow of Saplings born of its own Seed. The man who has spent the better part of the last five years as the proverbial glass ceiling in the WWE will finally find himself overshadowed, and not just by one man but two; the two people he chose to be his protégés, no less. 2005 will see HHH finally lose his iron grip on the World Heavyweight Championship as his former pupils Randy Orton and Dave Batista both make their way to becoming permanent fixtures in the Main Event scene on RAW. Who will hold the title when, and what matches will occur remains to be seen, but these two fresh faces will step up in 2005 and let Triple H know that he is not the future of wrestling. They are. With that final glimpse beyond the temporal shroud, we come to a close. Oneiromancy is a draining task, even for the Dream Master, and now I must rest. I hope you enjoyed this journey through the dark and twisted tunnels through the maze of time. Please feel free to let me know what you think of these visions of the future, and whether or not you interpret them the same way I have. Also, I would love to know what some of your predictions are for the upcoming year, so if you’d care to share, I would love to read them. My email address is given at the end of the column, so please, drop me a line and let me know what you think!  - I had a sinking feeling that the Arab American Debate last week on RAW was going to be a train wreck of a segment, and my fears turned out to be well-founded. They have shifted the focus of Hassan’s character several times now, and he now says that he is disgusted not only by America, but by his own people as well. He has quickly gone from a character with some real potential to Anti-American Wrestler #587,382,438.79. I still find it funny that Daivari is speaking out against stereotyping (in Persian, not Arabic, mind you) when until recently he utilized a “Magic Flying Carpet” in his finisher. - Despite TNA initially scheduling limited dates for Hall and Nash, they have changed their plans and slated the two veterans for a fuller schedule in the coming months. This means we will undoubtedly be having more airtime senselessly wasted by the M-proclaimed Kings of Suck. - For those of you who missed the Battle Rap between Kenzo and Cena this past week on SmackDown!, I think it can be summed up in the following phat rhyme: Remember back when John Cena used to actually rap? Now all he does is talk in rhyme about semen and crap. I used to find his promos at least mildly amusing, But Kenzo carried this one, which is somewhat confusing. It’s funny, cuz I didn’t catch a word that he said, But don’t get me wrong, folks, I would still prefer him dead. Cena’s old school rapping used to be off the chain, Now all it tends to do is cause severe aural pain. - Oh, and on a side note, Daniel Puder makes baby Jesus cry. That is all. - Well, the results of the TNA Year End Awards are in, and I have to say that I have noticed a disturbing trend. The Who To Watch Next Year Award seems to be almost as big of a kiss of death as the Best New Artist Award at the Grammy Awards. Last year’s winner was Abyss, who did have a great year in 2004, but is now jumping ship for a shot in the WWE. This year’s winner is Hector Garza, who ironically enough is beginning the year-in-which-he-is-to-be-watched behind bars on drug charges. Next year, I think it would be wise for the winner to respectfully decline to accept this dubious distinction. - New Year’s Revolution turned out to be a one match show that was average at the very best. For my in-depth review of the PPV, click Here.  Vampire Hunter D It is the year 12090 AD, and the Earth has become a world overrun by darkness and evil, and has fallen under the control of a vile race of ruthless Vampires. Normal humans have become enslaved subjects of a twisted version of a medieval feudal system run by Vampiric lords. A young hottie by the name of Doris is chosen by one of these nobles, Count Magnus Lee, to be the latest in a long string of short-lived brides to end his eternal loneliness, at least for a short time. Shunned by her fellow villagers because of the mark of the count on her neck, she turns to a stranger who has mysteriously arrived in town who claims that he is a Vampire Hunter; a stranger who goes only by the name D. In this world of darkness, D is the only man who has the tenacity and courage to take on the creatures of the night on their own ground, but before he gets the chance to take down the Count, Doris is kidnapped by Lee’s men and taken to his castle. D must race against time and take on impossible odds to rescue her from the Count’s evil grasp and put an end to his tyranny before it is too late. This movie was first released in 1985, and set the stage for many animated films to come in the twenty years since. The film mixes a medieval mythology with a gothic futuristic feel, and the finished product is something uniquely dark and inviting. It was influential not only in its style of animation, but also in the storyline sense. Many aspects of this story have been carried on and used in other movies, shows, and games since. For instance, we discover that D is himself half-vampire, which explains his immense power as well as his ability to move about in sunlight, a concept that was revisited in the Blade franchise. Also, later in the film we discover that his father is none other than Count Dracula himself, and D hunts his father’s breed because of the pain his mother endured, and the fact that he cannot stand his bestial nature. This very idea was used again in the Castlevania games with the character Alucard, who was the estranged son of the Count and sought to put an end to his tyrannical evil. Anyone who is a fan of gothic horror or animated films will no doubt love this movie, and I would venture to say that even those who aren’t typically fans of these genres will find this flick very enjoyable. Vampire Hunter D definitely comes with the highest of recommendations from the Dream Master, so be sure to check it out!  As you slowly return to consciousness, the last whisperings uttered from the lips of the Dream Master encourage you to check out four particularly outstanding columns in the forums: YourAyatollah – All About The Game: Uncletollah RandomGuy#5 – The Nosebleed Section 48: Bloodshot Eyes The Revolution Presents: The Road To WriterMania – Takedown, Week One The Revolution Presents: The Road To WriterMania – Medium Rare, Week One This brings to a close this second special LOP Main Page Edition of Enter The Dream Realm. I hope that Number 20 did not disappoint. Any feedback you have, as always, would certainly be greatly appreciated and can be sent to me via email at morpheusreturns@optonline.net. I would love to hear your opinions and predictions for the coming year, so please feel free to send some my way! Thanks again to everyone who has been supportive of ETDR these past few months, and to all of the people who are checking this out on the LOP Main Page for the first (or second) time. It’s been an honor and a privilege to be able to post this here once again, and I hope that those of you that haven’t yet will take the time to check out some of the great writers we have in the LOP Columns Forum. Thank you all again, and until next time, sleep well, and I’ll see you in your Dreams! Oh, and Viva La Movie Bar!
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