Stuck in the Middle With You - Welcome to Our World, Puder/Mizanin Tale of the Tape, and The End of an Era
    Submitted by Da J-Train on Monday, December 13, 2004 at 5:03 AM EST



    Welcome back to my column everyone. Long time no see… again. Just like normal, my schedule has not permitted me to write once every two weeks, so I have broken deadline, yet again. Much like John Kerry said, my excuses are more of the same. Work is kicking my ass double because of the holidays, Finals are coming up, and things are stressful as usual. Although a positive is that I beat the main storyline in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. I will probably be writing some sort of review or column for the game and the future of the series for my roommate’s website: Head on over there and support it! Plus, there’s a terrible picture of me on it.


    http://www.gameculturemagazine.com


    So, what’s up for this column? A few things will be going on, and a major development in the spectrum of my column. First, I will take on the major sport stories in the last few weeks in wrestling terms. Then, I will have a major announcement concerning Free Flowing Hostility



    BUT FIRST...



    Letters! I get Letters! I get sacks and sacks of Letters! LETTERS!!! That's right; it's time to answer some of my Love, Hate, Kind-Of-Care-For, and I-Only-Like-You-as-A-Friend-Mail… REMEMBER TO PUT FEEDBACK IN THE MESSAGE HEADING OR THE MESSAGE WILL BE DELETED



    Feedback O Rama


    Letter 1 :


    There's one reason and one reason alone for Gene Snitsky's call-up. He is, quite simply, the next Generic Big Man. I need not continue.

    That would seem to be the impression for Jesus as well, but I'd say the one thing they are doing right with him so far is keeping him in a limited (not competing in the ring yet) role.

    Mike K.


    Mike,

    I don’t know man. I don’t buy the generic big man reasoning. Because if that was the reason they called him up, it still doesn’t answer my question to why he was called up so fast. There are other wrestlers in OVW that could easily fit into the “generic big man” role as you called it that have been in training long before Snitsky even signed a developmental contract. People like Chris Masters or Matt Morgan. I know that Masters is doing dark matches and house shows now, but he or Morgan could fit into that role and have paid more developmental dues than Snitsky. There are other too, like Da Beast. There are plenty of OVW wrestlers who could fill that void.

    I think it’s a little rough to have such little faith in Jesus. Not many of us have seen him in the ring yet at all. I mean… why is there such a foregone conclusion that just because a guy is big that he sucks and must be limited in his in ring roles? Granted, he could be bad… but it’s not like he’s an OVW upstart. He did have a relatively long stint in UPW before signing a contract. Like I said, he could be bad, but who knows until you actually see him? P.S. This was written before Armageddon, so I can’t comment as to his ability, but maybe you can.



    Letter 2 :


    Hey man,
    I check out your column regularly, and just wanted to send you something because I have had what I consider a brilliant idea for how to book Simon Dean. WWE might be going this way, because I'm using events they have already used with him (but WWE will most definitely miss-handle this). Simon Dean has been making fun of fat people, and who came out first to stop him? Rosey. Then Simon Dean came out the next week, and was ambushed by Hurricane. All of this leads up to the fact that Simon Dean is actually...Super Nova! He was wrestling's original superhero, but he was overlooked by the WWE. Then he saw Hurricane and Rosey making a mockery of superheroing, and he became bitter. The alter-ego of "Simon Dean" was created to get into the WWE and allow Nova to return. If he wasn't allowed to be a superhero, he has now vowed to be a supervillian and take out Hurricane and Rosey. This would be brilliant because 1. you can't have superheroes without supervillians 2. Nova will bring back ECW nostalgia 3. it will make for an entertaining program and give Hurricane and Rosey time on TV, and elevate Dean/Nova. I just hadta tell my idea to somebody, and you seemed like a logical choice with your "feedback-o-rama." So, to make this email "feedback," I enjoy the column, keep up the good work.
    -Ryan Medeiros



    Ryan,

    Ever since Nova signed a developmental contract, people have wanted him to debut as Super Nova, as a supervillian to The Hurricane. Not to call you unoriginal, but I have heard the angle so many times. I agree, it would be good to a degree.

    What fans don’t understand is that Nova doesn’t want to do the superhero thing anymore. As far as I remember, after ECW folded, he made a pseudo-announcement that he wanted to bring his career into a more serious state and that he was leaving the superhero thing behind. Also, with the fans that just learned about ECW through the DVD, they would still be lost. As the BWO was mentioned, they never really talked intensively as Nova to the point that fans will recognize him as an ECW wrestler. He wasn’t even consulted in the DVD as a former ECW wrestler.

    On paper, Simon Dean is extremely corny and Wrestlecrap waiting to happen. However, I happen to be entertained by him. People like Snitsky for being over the top, but I like Simon Dean for the same reason. His acting is so terrible, but it’s supposed to be because infomercial stars are terrible actors themselves. If only he bring back some of his innovation, it would be perfect.



    Letter 3 :


    Hey, you mentioned the WWE and OVW and how unfair it is that they called up Aaron and Snitsky but not Matt and Johnny. I just wanted to let you know (in case you didn't) that Matt and Johnny worked a dark tag match at the Raw in Indy ("Maven's" Raw) and they wrestled Johnny Nitro and someone else and they all looked good and the crowd wasn't completely dead, so maybe there's hope for them yet.
    L-M



    L-M,

    Yeah, I know that Johnny and Matt have worked dark matches and house shows in the past. In fact, Johnny has wrestled on Vengeance 2003 as Conquistador #2 in the APA Bar Room Brawl… and Both wrestlers have been on Velocity. So, I guess the fact that they have been working house shows gives the impression that they will be called up soon, but, as someone who follows this stuff regularly, it’s nothing I haven’t seen. I’m glad that Matt, Johnny Jeter, Johnny Nitro, and Joey Matthews did well.



    Well, that’s that. One more Feedback O Rama down, who knows how many more to go. On to the rest of the column.




    Welcome to our World


    The world of American sports has been going through a very tumultuous time in the past few weeks. It almost seems like each sport is trying to one up each other in terms of what controversial thing they can do next. I honestly believe that David Stern and Bud Selig have a bet with one another to see which organization can arouse more controversy. Think about it… Stern has a widely publicized Kobe/Shaq feud, so Selig ups the ante and says, screw two people, how about two teams… enter Yankees/Red Sox. Then it’s quiet for a while… each commissioner repositions the pieces in the chess game that is their bet. Suddenly, Stern has the best idea! He’ll get Ron Artest to flip out on the fans! He’ll win. But no! Selig gets Jason Giambi to admit his steroid use, thus getting the spotlight on the MLB again. Take THAT fucker!


    Seriously though, the sporting world these days seem to be more and more controversial as the days go by. But what I thought was weird was that I felt really desensitized by the whole thing. Sure, I was shocked by the many happenings that went on, but to be honest, nothing really impacted me. I was thinking about why this is, and I realized a really interesting point… all of the things that have gone in the sports world have already happened in the wrestling industry. I find it interesting and a little sad that, as a wrestling fan, I was almost prepared on how to react to these situations.


    Granted, us wresting fans go through a lot, but when a fucked up situation happens in a more mainstream medium that literally rocks that medium to its foundation, and you react as if it’s nothing you’ve never seen before, it’s a little interesting and noteworthy. If you really take a look at a lot of the major occurrences in the last few weeks in the realm of major sports, they are all major situations that we wrestling fans have either been dealing with for a long time or on a consistent basis. Let’s break it down:



    Occurrence 1: The Pistons/Pacers/Fans Brawl


    Unless you have been living under a rock, or you are simply not a sports fan, you know about this situation. Indiana Pacers forward Ron Artest gave Detroit Pistons forward/center Ben Wallace a hard foul, leading to Wallace shoving Artest, and the two teams becoming at odds. Artest ended up lying down on the scorer’s table, leading to the Detroit crowd to become restless to the point that someone threw a beer at Artest. Artest then went into the crowd and attacked a fan, leading to a melee between Detroit Pistons fans and Indiana Pacers players. The situation led to numerous suspensions and legal ramifications.


    Sure, it’s not all the time that the wrestlers get into street brawls with the fans… although that does happen, but wrestling sure has things going on to relate to this situation. For example, when fans jump the barricade and attack the wrestlers. In some ways, it’s a similar, but not comparable situation. It’s a potentially harmful situation where someone crosses the unspoken line that exists between fan and performer. And you know they cross the line, because what happens as soon as the fan jumps over the barricade? The wrestler visibly defends himself. Like the NBA, it doesn’t happen all the time, but when it does, it gets attention. How many stories have there been over the course of the last year of a fan getting over the barricade, or not even getting over… simply crossing the line by taking a swing at a wrestler, and the wrestler gets one good shot in before the fan is pulled out faster than a premature ejaculator.


    But let’s look past the whole situation; let’s take into consideration the whole conflict concerning an outlandish situation or person within the conventional lines of the sport. In this case, there is the on-court fight or the backstage problem in the form of Ron Artest. I am not saying he is a cancer, but even Artest fans can admit that he has been historically questionable backstage. However, stuff like that constantly happens in the world of wrestling. It seems like not a week goes by where there are reports of Wrestler A being an ass backstage or some kind of shoot fight or argument in the back. Hell, it’s just recent that there are reports of Kurt Angle being a bit ridiculous backstage in terms of his head swelling, and the much talked about ass kicking of Rene Dupree by Hardcore Holly. Shit like this happens all the time, not only in the WWE, but also in other federations. It seems like almost yesterday when the C.M. Punk/Teddy Hart scuffle went down.


    So really, if you break down the situation that went down in the NBA, it’s really similar to stuff that happens a lot in the realm of wrestling. Although not nearly as severe, there are situations that are at least comparable. I’m not trying to make light or downgrade the situation that happened in the NBA, after all, it was a terrible thing. But am I alone when I had a quick flash of wrestling when seeing the footage?



    Occurrence 2: Tyrone Willingham is fired by the Notre Dame Fighting Irish


    Earlier this month, Notre Dame fired its coach, Tyrone Willingham after only three seasons of, what they considered mediocrity. Notre Dame came under major fire for this due to many factors. Many felt that they should have allowed Willingham to finish out his contract and develop his recruits. Many felt that the only reason they got rid of Willingham was because they wanted red hot coach Urban Meyer. Finally, people went to race to explain the actions, being that it was very interesting that the first black coach in Notre Dame’s historic history did not get to fill out his contract, and was increasingly unpopular amongst alumni. Many believe that this same alumni was a major factor in the firing itself. Either way, the move sent shockwaves in the world of college football. Even I, a die hard, life-long fan of Notre Dame Football was shocked and disappointed by the move. I feel that they should at least allow him to play out his contract, or at least have allowed him to coach in the bowl game.


    How does this relate to wrestling? How many times has there been an abrupt and arguably unwarranted firing in the realm of professional wrestling. Here’s an answer… there are ten possibilities of them not too long ago, take your pick. Much like the NBA situation, this sort of stuff goes on all the time in professional wrestling. People are hired and fired unfairly all the time. People are fired, or at least forced out of their roles, because of favoritism or outside forces. Granted, there is no absolute word that these were the reasons, but many people attribute the resignation of Pat Patterson and the demotion of Paul Heyman to the fact that both were detractors of Triple H. Who’s to say that this situation is much different than the Willingham firing?


    And in the case of race… heh, I rhymed… racism in the WWE is a topic that has been covered many times by many different people. There hasn’t been a pure black WWE champion. There have been borderline racist angles in WWE history. This type of thing is not new in wrestling… at all. It seems like every time a new black wrestler who breaks onto the scene, the WWE finds a way to put some kind of stigma onto the wrestler of a black stereotype. Case in point… both Booker T and Shelton Benjamin made it big and the WWE had to bring up their criminal pasts. What about Benjamin’s first “All about the Benjamins” gimmick? But still, decisions questionably based on race are nothing new in the realm of professional wrestling. So basically, the factors surrounding the Tyrone Willingham firing are not that far off from almost day-to-day occurrences in professional wrestling.



    Occurrence 3: The NFL and ABC come under fire for the racy entrance to Monday Night Football.


    Even if you are not a fan of the NFL, you know about this situation simply due to the fact that the WWE parodied it in their open to Raw a few weeks ago. The whole point was that ABC tried to use the NFL to advertise their show Desperate Housewives. The gist of the whole debacle was that Nicolette Sheridan was trying to use her sex appeal to persuade Terrell Owens to skip the game. Blah, blah, blah, you know what happens next because it was heavily parodied by the WWE. She dropped the towel, and because people in this country are uptight, they got pissed.


    Granted, the whole thing was over-the-top and corny, but really… as wrestling fans, how often have we seen over-the-top and corny angles surrounding sex and/or sex appeal? Christ, if I had to name all of times. There are almost too many to name. Best example: Eric Bischoff’s Hot Lesbian Action. You know how the rest of it goes, so let’s just skip the rest of this one.



    Occurrence 4: Jason Giambi admits to using steroids to enhance his performance.


    Gee... a steroid case. I’ve never heard THIS argument. Steroids have just been synonymous with wrestling for the past 15 years. This is way too easy.



    So to conclude, I thought it was interesting that many of these so called earth-shattering occurrences in the realm of the legit sports have so much relevance in wrestling. This shit happens all the time in professional wrestling. Maybe it says a lot about the controversial nature of wrestling or the unorganized and unprofessional medium that professional wrestling may be.


    Not too long ago, I wrote a column called A Message to any Non Wrestling Fan Out There where I pretty much took non-wrestling fans’ problems with wrestling and took them on. The column was popular, as to be expected, in terms of feedback and actually got me a radio spot. So, in hindsight of that column, I wonder how MLB fans would feel if every player was written off as to be a steroid abuser in the wake of Jason Giambi? I wonder how NFL fans would feel if non-NFL fans began to give the NFL a stigma of doing too much to get ratings? I’m willing to bet that they would be pretty pissed and annoyed that the wrongdoings of a few would put a black mark onto the entire organization. In other words… they would start feeling like most wrestling fans already feel.



    Puder vs. Mizanin… Tale of the Tape



    Well, the Tough Enough finalists are here, and the final votes are almost in. The boxing match as gone down and the shit has hit the fan. So, here we are… this is it. These are the two people that the fans have chosen to be the finalists in the Tough Enough series. Granted, I like Puder… but Mizanin? You know, especially after the last election, I have kind of desensitized myself as to the choices that the masses can make. It’s not that I don’t like Mizanin… but let’s be honest. He is only there for one reason: He was on The Real World. He is clearly the smallest competitor, but not by much on Puder… not necessarily by height and weight, but by physique. I mean, really, if Mizanin was never on that show, do you think he would ever be picked?


    Granted, you could say that Puder was picked on the basis that he is an ultimate fighter… but at least he hasn’t used that fact as his sole wave of popularity. His popularity comes from his obvious handling of Kurt Angle. Mizanin really hasn’t done anything noteworthy in this contest, and he is getting his votes solely based on his notoriety from MTV. I have a bit of a problem with that. Eh, no big shit. Anyway, I decided to do a good old fashioned Tale of the Tape for both of these guys so…


    Tough Enough Tale of the Tape


    Mike Mizanin

    Height: 6’ 1’’

    Weight: 210 lbs.

    Claim to Fame: Cast member on The Real World and The Road Rules/Real World Extreme Challenge and its various seasons.

    Queer Catchphrase: Hoo-rah

    Wrestling History: Began wrestling school after The Real World. Trained and performed at Ultimate Pro Wrestling… same as John Cena, Luther Reigns, Chris Masters, and others.

    Notable Tough Enough Moment: Wooing Hardcore Holly, then getting punched.



    Daniel Puder

    Height: 6’ 2’’

    Weight: 225 lbs.

    Claim to Fame: Apparent Ultimate Fighter. Gained worldwide internet notoriety and the dismay of WWE officials by almost making Kurt Angle tap out to a key lock. Accused of plagiarism.

    Queer Catchphrase: Snap, Crackle, and Pop

    Wrestling History: Considered to be an Ultimate fighter, but I could not find a UFC record. Apparently, he has a small MMA record, so I guess people consider MMA to be Ultimate Fighting.

    Notable Tough Enough Moment: Handling Kurt Angle and Wooing Mae Young.


    That’s it. These are the guys who are about to get a contract. Vote for whomever you wish, but I obviously voted for Puder. It doesn’t matter anyway, the loser will probably get a contract.




    Cheers and Jeers


    Alright, this section has gained popularity, I am pleasantly surprised. So, keeping with demands, I will continue this.


    • CHEERS to Paul London and Akio. What a Velocity match the other week between these two. It’s one of those situations where if the WWE does not acknowledge the talent between these two, they are on crack. It also really shows the professionalism of the two to give an amazing match on a secondary show. How many other major superstars would go 100% for a secondary show. My thought is that they are about to be pushed moderately… but who knows. They do deserve it. Hell, I’m even really surprised that they survived the roster cuts.



    • JEERS to Hardcore Holly. What a douche bag. You know, seriously, I understand that people don’t like to be fucked out of money and stuff like that… but if you are a long time veteran, there is a level of professionalism that must overcome. What Rene Dupree did was a shit thing to do… but Hardcore Holly should have taken better measures to teach the kid a lesson. Really, I think he gets hard from beating on young wrestlers, and I honestly think it’s frustration from having such a stoic and non-productive career.




    • CHEERS to the Batista/HHH angle. This is really turning into a pretty good eventual feud. Fans are really catching on to Batista. It seems that if the WWE keeps this atmosphere of conflict around them, the fans will practically beg Batista to turn face and beat on Triple H. Hell, they kind of already are. It’s good, long term angles like these that make it fun to watch the development of a character and a feud.



    • JEERS to the WWE for The removal of Paul Heyman. Why? Seriously… why? Apparently, a lot of wrestlers want him in… and there are upset people due to this, especially Heyman. Why would they do a promote, demote thing with him? It’s just times like these that makes me mad that Vince McMahon doesn’t seem to want to change or get outside help for the means of progression.




    • CHEERS to XXX and AMW. I am doing this blindly because I did not see Turning Point, but based on the collective agreement of the Internet, their tag match was apparently amazing… which is a major feat considering it’s hard to get a decent tag match anymore. It’s just that a lot of it has been done already and we are desensitized to it. So, I believe that they deserve a blind cheer



    • JEERS to The Cabinet. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good idea… just not the time is all. I am not a fan of JBL as a champion, but I have tolerated his title reign because for a lot of it, he was not a huge focal point on the show. He took a backseat to Eddie and Angle. No big deal. Now, he has his Cabinet… which is a good idea... don’t get me wrong. Amy Weber is nice to look at, and I am a fan of the Bashams. But the problem is, The Cabinet came along in a time where it logically should be the twilight of JBL’s title reign. I mean, as long as it still works, I’ll be into it, but all I am saying is that The Cabinet should really have been utilized a lot earlier in his title reign to make it a bit more interesting.




    Well, it’s about that time again…



    Free Flowing Hostility: Minor cultural items I am Bored With, Tired Of, and Pissed At.


    We live in a society these days that continuously gets angrier and angrier over nothing. We live in a world of constant war. We live in a world where people get in fights the day after Thanksgiving over the last Nintendo DS. We live in a world of increasing negativity, anger, death, destruction, violence, malaise, cynicism, and depression. It’s supposed to be the time of giving and joy, and I have seen nothing in the last few weeks but impatience and overall bad feelings, and I’m not talking just about at work.

    We have people shooting others over tree stands on hunting day. We have fans and sport stars getting into fights. Our country has been more divided in the beginning and end of the last election than I have seen it in my entire life.

    People bitch about everything these days from not being pampered with customer service to the fact that people who stick their dicks in different places want to get married. Yet, no one does much about it. They will bitch and piss and moan about how ridiculous society is, but never lift a finger to try to spark a change. I was a part of these people, and Free Flowing Hostility was my way into this institution.

    Therefore, I am ending Free Flowing Hostility indefinitely. Our world is not getting any more progressive or positive, and I am making my own change by not submitting to the negativity that seems to be rampant. You could say that this stuff has been going on for a long time and that my stopping this will not do anything, and you are probably right. I just refuse to add to the negativity of this world anymore. Owen Hart once said “Enough is enough and it’s Time for a change.” That’s how I feel.

    To my readers, I apologize for this. I know that the FFH as it has been nicknamed was one of the most popular sections of my column. For that, I am sorry that I am taking it away. I know it has made you laugh and allowed you to rant yourselves… I have read all the emails. I also know that there are fans out there that read solely for the FFH, and if I get rid of it, they will stop reading. Well, if that’s the case, I don’t want you as a reader in the first place.

    Please do NOT email me over this. I will disregard ANY emails concerning the FFH. However, I am always willing to listen to your comments, so I encourage anyone who wants to speak on this to create a thread about the FFH in the Feedback Section of the Lords of Pain forums, where I will answer comments or questions.

    This is my decision. I just can’t contribute to the negativity in the world anymore. Say what you will, call me whatever you want, I don’t care… just do it in the forum. Until then, thanks for reading this, and supporting the FFH.




    Well, that’s that, so let’s wrap this one up/



    The Caboose


    What did we learn today?


    • We learned that Sports fans may now feel how we do.


    • We learned the intricacies of Puder/Mizanin.


    • Finally, we saw the foreseeable end of the FFH.




    That’s it for this week… No fun remarks… just the somberness of the end of an era.



    ----------------------------------------- Da J-Train -------------------------------------


    merlinJAP@hotmail.com (If you email me, put FEEDBACK in the email subject or it will be deleted)


    AIM: JPAW101…. Feel free to talk to me, I am friendly and give good hugs!




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