The Smackdown! Report (12/9/04): Final Armageddon Hype
Submitted by Chad Matthews on Thursday, December 9, 2004 at 9:59 PM EST





I hope you guys enjoy this week’s report, as it will be my last for the foreseeable future. With graduate school looming in the next year and the workload piling up, I just cannot find the time or the energy to report on a product that just does not excite me anymore…let’s get on to the last edition of CMV1’s Smackdown Report…

The Smackdown Report (12/09/04)

The show opened with WWE Champion John Bradshaw Layfield making his way to the ring with Chief of Staff Orlando Jordan, Image Consultant Amy Weber, and the Basham Brothers. He proceeded to cut a promo about being champion and how much stress he’s been under lately. He said that past champions like Bruno Sammartino, Andre the Giant, Bret Hart, Steve Austin, and The Rock all had one thing in common: that even on their best days they could never have beaten JBL (CMV1 note- I think he ought to check the record books on that one). Layfield then turned his attention to the man who booked him in the Fatal-Fourway this Sunday, calling Smackdown General Manager Theodore R. Long an idiot who was a prime example of how affirmative action needs to end. When he finally began to discuss his opponents for the PPV, the lights suddenly went out. As if we had not seen it a million times before, the Undertaker was standing in the ring when the lights came back on. The Deadman went wild, cleared the ring of all the heels, and looked more dominant than ever. (CMV1 note- the usual solid mic work from JBL, which effectively gave some last minute hype to the only interesting match on the entire Armageddon card. I think the JBL-Taker feud is ridiculously overplayed and I seriously wonder why they decided to make the 4-way hype be so dependent on the feud between those two. Also, why in the hell didn’t OJ get pissed or at least move a muscle at JBL’s comment about affirmative action).

Match 1: Cruiserweight Battle Royal to determine a #1 Contender for the CW title at Armageddon: Akio vs. Paul London vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman vs. Nunzio vs. Shannon Moore vs. Funaki
-(CMV1 note- I hate how the cruiserweight title gets no love…I mean I guess we should be lucky they even get on PPV, but still…the women’s title on RAW gets more hype and that’s very sad). Akio stole the show early on, drilling Nunzio with a flash kick, and then following it with a flying roundhouse kick, sending Nunzio over the top. Kidman then tossed out his old rival, Paul London. Akio was next, as when Funaki hung him up on the top rope, Moore hit a top rope drop kick to send him over. Moore was then eliminated. The finish came when Chavo attempted to throw out Kidman, only to have Funaki come from behind and throw them both out to become the #1 contender at approximately 5:30. (CMV1 rating- * ¼ ) (CMV1 note- the match had some interesting spots and some decent high-flying action, but I really don’t think the right man won here).

Order of elimination
1) Nunzio
2) London
3) Akio
4) Moore
5) Chavo
6) Kidman

Backstage, the gorgeous Miss Jackie begged her fiancée, Charlie Haas, not to go to the ring and face Jesus in a street fight. She actually called Jesus invincible! Anyhow, Haas said he knew what he had to do and revealed two bloodshot eyes that make my eyes water just thinking about them. As Haas took off to the ring, Josh Matthews (no relation) caught up with him to ask him about being the ref this weekend for that match that shouldn’t be happening on PPV, Jackie vs. Dawn Marie. Charlie said he would try to be impartial, but since Jackie was his fiancée, of course he’d be biased (CMV1 note- of course, that means he’ll be turning heel on Jackie and joining up with Dawn. I swear; if you’re going to book a swerve, at least don’t make it so obvious).

The Miz cut a promo about Armageddon…it was really bad.

Match 2: Jesus (w/ Carlito Caribbean Cool) vs. Charlie Haas
-(CMV1 note- prior to the match, CCC was sent to the back by referee Charles Robinson, who got some apple in his face for his troubles). Charlie went wild on the rookie early on before heading to the outside to grab a chair. However, when Haas re-entered the ring to take a swing at Jesus, CCC appeared on the screen and told him that he had something he might be interested in. Carlito then walked out with Dawn Marie, which distracted Charlie long enough for Jesus to drill Haas with Cena’s chain. Haas and Jesus wrestled to a no-contest at 0:34. (CMV1 rating- no rating) (CMV1 note- considering that the purpose of this so-called match was to make Jesus look strong going into his match on Sunday against Cena, I suppose this can be written off as an effective segment). After the match, Dawn and Jackie each grabbed an arm to help Haas to the back.

Justice cut a promo about Armageddon. It was bad.

Backstage, Luther approached Joy Giovanni and asked her to tell the Big Show that he was looking for him. She did a bad job of acting scared.

Backstage, TRL approached JBL to notify him that if any member of his cabinet interferes in the championship match this Sunday, then he would be stripped of the title on the spot. Layfield fired back that Teddy was garbage and that he was out to get him. The houseboy tried to speak up about the situation, but TRL quickly shut him up. As JBL and OJ walked off, the Bashams came up and informed them that JBL’s limo had been stripped of its wheels and tires. JBL screamed that he wanted to know who did it. Just then, Eddie Guerrero’s music hit and he came down to the ring, rolling a tire with him. Latino Heat talked about getting JBL a deal on some new tires. He then turned his attention to Armageddon, saying that on Sunday, it would be the end of JBL, who still has something that belongs to him…the WWE Championship.

Daniel Puder cut a promo about Armageddon and Tough Enough…it was pretty bad too.

Backstage, Mrs. Kidman aka Torrie Wilson was backstage looking good when she got some flowers from Kenzo Suzuki. She called him a jerk and Hiroko, who was apparently nearby to hear that, came in and started a brawl. Hiroko ripped off Torrie’s bra and panties. They eventually ended up in the ring, where all four of the tag title participants at Armageddon came out. This prompted TRL to make his way to the stage to announce a tag title match right now, despite the fact that there’s a tag title match on Sunday. Whatever…

Match 3: WWE Tag Team Champions Kenzo Suzuki and Rene Dupree vs. Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio
-The match began during a commercial break, but when we joined the action, Mysterio hit a unique head scissor on Kenzo. RVD then tagged in and hit a springboard back kick for a near fall. He then hit the identical move on Dupree. Rene tried to mount some offense, but Van Dam and Mysterio executed a nice looking sunset flip-Sitting Senton combination. Mysterio then hit a flying hurricarana off the top rope and proceeded to hit a Bronco Buster right after. Van Dam came in and hit a Split Legged Moonsault for another near fall. The momentum shifted, however, when Kenzo crotched RVD on the top rope and Dupree dropkicked him to the outside. Suzuki eventually hit his flying knee drop, which is about the only nice looking offensive move he’s got. The French Phenom then tagged in and did the French Tickler, but it backfired, as Van Dam drilled him in the face with a spinning leg lariat. Mysterio got the hot tag and went wild, hitting Kenzo with a flying backside splash off the top rope then following it with a spinning DDT. Rey then hit a springboard Sitting Senton before hooking up with RVD for a double-team maneuver that saw Van Dam hit Rolling Thunder. RVD and Rey used another double-team maneuver to set up Kenzo for the 619. Mysterio drilled his signature move, but Rene got the upper hand for a moment by slamming Rey down with a spinebuster. RVD quickly took care of Dupree. The finish came when Rey pinned Kenzo via roll-up with some assistance from RVD at 12:18. (CMV1 rating- ** ½ ) (CMV1 note- another solid tag team match for these two teams, but why couldn’t we have the tag titles change hands on PPV for a change? I mean, it’s been since Judgment Day 2003 since that happened. This title change could have waited 3 days).

A few clips of Triple-McMahon’s movie, “Blade Trinity” were shown.

Cole and Tazz ran down the very poor looking Armageddon card.

Then it was time for this week’s installment of that worthless excuse for a Tough Enough competition (CMV1 note- my replacement is lucky….they won’t have to deal with this competition, as it will end the night they begin reporting). Justice Smith got cut and took off, as the Miz and Puder got ready to compete in this week’s ridiculous display of something not wrestling. They proceeded to compete in a jousting competition, which of course Puder won. Don’t forget, PPV buyers, that this Sunday, the Miz faces Puder in a boxing match! Smell the buyrates, people.

The RAW Rebound aired.

Booker T was shown backstage doing some stretching with SD personal trainer Michelle McCool. Book made fun of JBL for a bit and then said he’d win the title. I regret to inform everyone that Book winning is highly unlikely.

A clip aired of the WWE in Baghdad last year.

Kurt Angle then came out with Reigns and Jindrak for the Angle Invitational, but rather than getting a random jobber to wrestle, he got the Big Show. Angle was not to thrilled with the idea of facing Show one-on-one, so he talked his way out of it, saying that he knew what Show was up to and that it was not going to work. Luther then got in Show’s face and told him that he Jindrak wanted to face him. Which led to…

Match 4: Big Show vs. Mark Jindrak (w/ Angle and Reigns)
-Show wasted little time in going after MJ. The only real offense he got was a very loud chop. After that, Angle and Reigns interfered, causing Show to pick up the victory via DQ at 2:30. (CMV1 rating- ¼ *) (CMV1 note- served its purpose of hyping the PPV match, but other than that…pretty worthless). After the match, Angle and his minions got the better of the big man and scampered off.

At some undisclosed location, Heidenrich sat around with Heyman and despite Heyman’s brilliance, I just could not seem to care. Heidenrich said he was not coming back to Smackdown, which while not true, is just such a great thought that I cannot ignore it. What if that were true? What if he really never came back? What if McMahon realized that big dumb, untalented idiots don’t make his company a dime anymore?

Match 5: Booker T, Undertaker, and Eddie Guerrero vs. JBL, Orlando Jordan, and the Basham Brothers
-All seven guys brawled at the start of the match. We then got a dreaded commercial break, but that was to be expected. Back from the break, Book drilled Danny with a clothesline and a vertical suplex. Eventually, Book hit a pressing kick on Doug Basham, then tagged in Guerrero, who vaulted over the top rope with a back body splash. JBL got himself into the match for a short time, but was scared back out of the ring by the Undertaker. Meanwhile, Guerrero hit the Three Amigos on Danny, and then hit a one-armed flapjack on Doug that sent him crashing down on his brother. JBL quickly snuck in the ring and killed Eddie’s momentum by drilling him with the Clothesline From Hell. The four heels then concentrated on Eddie, using an assortment of wear-down moves. JBL eventually went for the Last Call fall-away slam, but Guerrero countered it into a DDT. He then got the hot tag to the Undertaker, who took out everyone. Taker dominated with big boots, splashes, snake eyes, and everything else you can think of. At one point, Layfield found himself in the middle of the ring with all three of his opponents for Sunday around him. After they took turns striking the champ in the face, Taker chokeslammed OJ, who proceeded to get hit with the scissor kick and the Frog Splash. The finish came when the Undertaker drilled Jordan with a Tombstone, allowing Taker, Guerrero, and Book to win the match via pinfall at 16:08. (CMV1 rating- ** ¾ ) (CMV1 note- a good tag team main-event that was enjoyable as well as did its job in adding the final hype to the fatal four-way match for Sunday).



All in all…I’ll give this show a 6.5/10 on the ratings scale. I thought the show was pretty damn good overall, with two good tag team match-ups and some interesting final hype for the PPV. Although nothing really stood tonight, there wasn’t much wrong either. Tough Enough is almost over, so that won’t be able to take away from the show for too much longer. Basically, tonight was all about hyping the PPV, but allow me to rant very quickly about the direction SD needs to head in. I don’t think JBL as champ works anymore…so he needs to drop that strap. Angle, Book, Taker, and Eddie all need to be fighting over the WWE title…and there’s no reason that those four can’t hold up the main-event scene without JBL around.






This week in Smackdown history… WWE Champion Brock Lesnar took on Rey Mysterio in the main-event of the December 12 edition of Smackdown in 2003. In the early part of the show, Lesnar talked trash about San Diego, prompting the 619’s Mysterio to come out and defend his hometown. The match itself was excellent, as Lesnar was able to mix his power/mat style with Mysterio’s highflying very well. Rey got a bunch of offense in and several near falls, but was unable to overcome Lesnar, who debuted his new submission move that night, the Brock Lock.


And well, ladies and gentlemen, that is that. It truly has been a pleasure to be your Smackdown Reporter the last 6 months, and I hope that you have enjoyed reading my thoughts as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them for you. Wrestling right now has definitely fallen on hard times, but keep watching because it’ll be worth it once they get through it. One day, maybe I’ll be back, but for now, I need a replacement. If you are interested in taking my place as SD reporter, then please email Calvin Martin (or me, and I can forward it) at webmaster@lordsofpain.net. Also, LOP is looking for someone to review TNA Impact, so please send an email if you are interested. Take care, wrestling fans…




If you have any feedback for me, please send it to MagicIrish10@hotmail.com









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