Take up thy wrestling boots and walk presents - You be the Booker V, ETA Showdown!
Submitted by Pt2 on Friday, December 3, 2004 at 11:04 AM EST









Welcome to the 95th edition of Take up thy wrestling boots and walk. Today, we present a special feature, as We bring you the fifth ever “You Be the Booker” contest, exclusively here on LOP.

First of all, I’ll be looking to try and run YBTB on a more regular basis in the future - that means I’ll need more scenarios. If anyone has a challenge they would like to see tackled in a future edition of YBTB, then please feel free to send it to me. Credit will be given, naturally, for all scenarios used.

Without any further ado, the waiting is over! On one side will be our reigning champion Random Guy#5, the author of the Nosebleed section and the brainchild behind the “King of the Columnists” tournaments and “Project Random”. He’s also “stat-boy” in the column of the Challenger, and you know he’d love to get one over here on his old rival, Xanman - who is a long standing columnist, one half of the COTM winning ETA (with Double Helix), author of “The Northern Star” and the mad behind the concept of “The X-Change”.

So there’s a little history there. There is more than a title at stake in this one! Pride is on the line!

Tale of the Tape for “You be the Booker V”:

Challenger
Name: Xanman
From: Minnesota, USA
Columns: Putting the X in wrestling, The Northern Star, The X-Change, Excuse the Aggravation (w/Double Helix)
YBTB Win loss record: 0-0-0
Writing for: Approx. 1 year, 4 months

Champion
Name: Random guy #5
From: St. Louis, Missouri, USA
Columns: The Nosebleed section, Excuse the Aggravation (as stat boy), Bilateral damage.
YBTB Win loss record 1-0-0
Writing for: Approx. 1 Year, 1 month.

Note: Random guy’s scenario’s came in past the deadline. Therefore, he has a late penalty. As this is the first time this has happened, I’ll give a brief guide to how late penalties work.

Any scenario’s handed in after the deadline receive a 5 percent penalty. Every six hours after that, 5% more is taken away. Once you reach 48 hours, the contest is forfeit.
This only applies to any scenario’s handed in late… if all three are handed in at different times, they are treated as separate cases.

Random guy has a 10% penalty on all scenario’s.

Here are all other rules:

1. You have a word limit of 500 words per scenario.

2. Direct Dialogue is banned (You can paraphrase what the wrestlers say, but cannot give them specific words to say. You are working with pro’s, they should be able to give natural, live, unscripted promo’s).

3. Contestants must pay attention to stories that have gone before, and past relations between characters. For example, You cannot use HHH as a face without turning him face within your 500 words. You also cannot have The Rock and HHH on the same side without giving valid cause within your 500 words. This is important - you can lose points both from the Judge and Adjudicator for having holes in your storyline.

4. The winner will be the person to win 2 of the 3 scenario’s. In the unlikely event of a draw, the winner will be based on an aggregate score across the three scenarios.

5. Points are awarded by a neutral judge based on the quality of the scenario. Points are taken off by Pt2 for breaking any of the above rules.

And now all the official crap is out of the way, lets get to some booking action!


Scenario 1:


Vince McMahon wants a traditional 4 on 4 survivor series match as his main event. He doesn’t want titles on the line. He doesn’t want “control” on the line. He doesn’t want jobs on the line. He wants something new, something that he hasn’t done before. Devise a 4 on 4 main event match proposal, using either the RAW or Smackdown rosters, with the build up for the 4 shows before hand. Points for originality.


Xanman: Edge is lounging in the back watching a World Tag Title match; shaking his head in silent disbelief at what he's seeing. La Resistance battling for what seems like their millionth tag title against the long-reigning team of Eugene and William Regal. Christian walks by him, and sees what he's looking at. He mentions to Edge how much better they were than either of those teams. Edge claims that's the reason he never won the World Title, he was always too busy carrying Christian's ass. Christian takes offense, and suggests they prove who the best tag member is by each organizing a Survivor Series team of current and former tag-teams. The winner gets bragging rights as the best tag wrestler on RAW.

Christian heads out to the ring immediately and costs Eugene and Regal the tag straps. He convinces Eugene that Regal let him down and that's why they lost the tag titles. He tells Eugene he'll be a better partner than Regal ever would. Upon hearing about the match, Regal demands to join Edge's team to get revenge on Christian.

The next week, we see Christian approach the Hurricane about joining his team. Hurricane says he'll be glad to show the world who dominated the Superheroes. You can count him in. Later, Christian goes in to the locker room to brag about Edge getting stuck with the lesser half. Christian feels a hand on his shoulder and turns around. There's Kane, and the light dawns that Hurricane has had another long-term partner in the WWF.

One week later, Edge, Regal, and Kane are set to team against Christian, Eugene, and Hurricane. But, Kane never shows and Eugene is found knocked out in the back. Evolution is yelling at Bischoff about all the attention two "bit" players are getting for their teams, when they have hardly been mentioned. Bischoff tells them to get the hell out of his office. He decides the matches, and tonight Triple H gets to be center stage, as he's refereeing the now 2 on 2 tag. Bautista and Flair interfere without any reprimand, causing Bischoff to declare a no-contest and ban Triple H from Survivor Series, for not doing his job. He's also decided that Bautista will join Christian's team while Flair will be added to Edge's. Jealous Evolution got what they wanted, they're back in the spotlight.

One week before Survivor Series, everything changes. Bischoff decides this match looks good on paper, but there isn't enough "sizzle". So, he's changing things up. Bautista and Flair are switching teams, and Eugene is out of the match. He wants to create a bit of the "underdogs" versus big guys sense, and he just wants to stick it to Eugene. But, Christian still needs a former Regal partner, so he's bringing back, for one night only, Lance Storm. So, Christian has himself, the dimunitive Hurricane, rusty Lance Storm, and old Flair to try to battle against the fresh, big team of Edge, Kane, Bautista, and William Regal.


RG5: Week 1 opens in Teddy Long’s office. A group of cruiserweights are there, complaining that they are being underused. Teddy Long attempts to dismiss the situation, as Bubba Ray Dudley overhears.

Later, Bubba Ray is seen mocking Rey for his whining to Teddy Long. He and D-Von continue to mock Rey throughout the night, even as Paul London joins Rey. A melee ensues, and Teddy Long books the match for later that night, which the Dudley boys win.

The next week, Chavo is asking for a rematch for the Cruiserweight Title. Long explains that there’s no room on the show, as Big Show is already taking on Luther Reigns and the rest of the show is booked. Reigns overhears, and has a laugh at Chavo’s expense.

Chavo is seen later with Rey and London, complaining about the situation in the ring. The Dudley boys run in, and as RVD goes for the save, they injure him by with a 3-D through a table, as they’re joined by Spike the three Dudleyz now stand over four men.

Week three sees Big Show and Eddie talking backstage. Conversation unveils that they are on opposite sides of this debate. Eddie sides with the smaller wrestlers, and Big Show leaves in a huff, only to run into Reigns in the hallway. He asks for a word.

Now, London, Chavo and Rey are all backstage demanding repercussions for the injured RVD. Teddy says that there will be a four on four match at Survivor Series, and the “Hoss v Cruiserweight” debate will come to an end and also bars Jindrak and Angle from ringside. Reigns, Bubba Ray and D-von will take on Chavo, Rey, and London, with each needing to choose another partner.

Team Hoss calls out team cruiser at the end of the show and a fight ensues. Just as the cruisers begin to take the advantage Big Show comes down the ramp seemingly to do the right thing, when he begins laying waist to cruisers. The show goes off air with team hoss standing tall.

In the Final Smackdown, Chavo is seen being urged on to just forgive and forget, he makes a phone call.

Later in the broadcast, the battle for Smackdown airtime breaks out again this time with Eddie Guerrero coming in for the save. Team hoss still proves to be too strong, with Big Show, D-von, Bubba Ray and Luther Reigns dismantling the smaller team.

At Survivor Series, the match goes back and forth with Reigns being DQ’d as a result of Jindrak and Angle ignoring Teddy Long’s mandate. The match wages on, eventually with it coming down to the Dudleyz v Rey. The save is made, when Spike Dudley runs in and swerves his overweight brothers, angry because he wasn’t defending the title at the PPV. Team Cruiser wins the respect of Theodore Long, and will undoubtedly see more in ring time in the future.


Judges view: “Points for originality” is what is says in the brief, so neither of these are going to do too badly. But I’m not particularly high on either of them. Xan has a basic good principle behind his, but I’m not a lover of the face-heel mix on the teams. It’s an interesting idea, it has to be said, and creates under-dogs…. But you’re supposed to have a clear preference in the matches with underdogs, and there’s no team there I feel like rooting for particularly over the other. I did like some of the moments (a la the introduction of Kane), and the unpredictability in it through the early stages, but I think the massive changes in the final week hurt it as well.

The one from Random seems tailor- made for Net fans. It does make sense, but I’m not really worried about the issues in it. The Cruiser vs. Hoss debate that seems to rage on the net doesn’t really come up in my mind, and I doubt I’d be that interested. Maybe it’s just a little too “ECW” for me?

Awarding points? Going to have to be…. 69% for Xan and 62% for Random.

Pt2’s analysis: Wow. I thought they were quite good. Guess our judge didn’t agree with me. Anyway, penalties. Random loses 10% for lateness. Xan just keeps himself inside the word limit, with a spot - on 500. Random stays well clear with 489. Looking at the scenario’s, I was tempted to penalise for having mixed face heel teams, but I think that’s already been accounted for in the mark: Plus, it’s not like they haven’t done it before.

Final scores:

Xanman: 69%
RG5: 52%

So Xanman takes the lead over the champion in the first scenario. Still too more to go, and the last one is a little different, so stick with it!

Scenario 2:

Book the return of Steve Austin to Smackdown, and his first high profile match, using only the current smack down roster.

RG5: Following his biggest title defense yet, a big win at Armageddon over Taker, Eddie, and Booker T, JBL comes out to the ring and announces his dominance over the entire free world. He makes it a point to tell the world that though he now resides in New York, his climb to greatness started in Texas. JBL continues on to talk about how he’s shocked the world by defeating all comers, and becoming the greatest Texan wrestler of all time.

He is interrupted in his tirade by Theodore Long, who claims that he too is getting ready to shock the world. Since JBL has declared he’s the greatest Texan of all time, Teddy Long thought I’d be good to find some real competition for his oh so dominant champion.

Teddy then announces that at Royal Rumble, it will be the WWE’s first “Remember the Alamo” match, where it will be JBL v a mystery Texan. JBL goes into a rage.

The coming show sees JBL and his cabinet interrogating everybody. He’s in the face of Eddie Guerrero, as well as Booker T, Paul London and Chavo. He even goes so far as to ask the Undertaker, when Teddy Long appears again, saying that the mystery Texan isn’t even on the SD roster. For the first time in a year, the Undertaker smiles, seemingly knowing something JBL does not.

JBL appears the next week on Raw, and causes a stir all night interrogating everybody before finally getting to Shawn Michaels. HBK informs JBL that it isn’t him, and that JBL isn’t thinking like a Texan on this one. The entire Raw roster seems to be mocking JBL, as if they know and he doesn’t.

The next week on Smackdown, JBL is in a total panic. He spends the entire night screaming at anyone who’ll listen, but everybody just laughs at him and claims they don’t know, though its obvious they’re lying. Teddy Long tells JBL that if he figures it out before the end of next week’s show, he can decide what kind match the “Remember the Alamo” match will be.

Two weeks before Rumble, JBL is frantic. He needs to know who it is, so he can set up a no DQ match, and allow his cabinet to interfere. Everybody knows except JBL, and he’s losing control of himself. Finally, Long informs a sobbing JBL who it is. The look of exhaustion from JBL who hasn’t been able to sleep or eat, know turns to terror as he’s told it will be Stone Cold Steve Austin he faces at Royal Rumble.

The final week before Rumble, various montages are shown throughout the night hyping Austin’s return. The night ends with a fake Glass Shatters moment, with the entire roster laughing at JBL running away from the ring, with no Austin present.

At Rumble Austin returns in classic fashion, only to be screwed out of the title, which he later wins and defends at Wrestlemania.



Xanman: Theodore Long announces a tournament to crown a United States Champion, as John Cena is injured. In addition, He's grown fed up with the abuse of officials that has been going on. He's tired of chaos and wants to create a stronger, disciplined staff. He's hired the toughest official money can buy: Stone Cold Steve Austin. Officials are about to have more say in rules and how they're enforced.

Austin's first task is to supervise officiating the tournament. In his inimitable style, Austin lets it be known that because he hasn't had a chance yet to toughen up his squad he will be officiating the entire tournament. During the tournament it becomes clear that Austin knows the ropes when it comes to cheating; he's able to catch and prevent it at every turn. Meanwhile, there are vignettes with Austin training the other referees how to be territorial and more aggressive. The attitude he's instilling is that while the wrestlers are who the fans come to see, the officials actually rule the ring. Beginning now, they always back each other up. No more controversy, what they say goes.

Austin's influence becomes obvious, as referees are more strict and "in your face" with the wrestlers. At Armageddon, the finals of the U.S. Title tourney pits RVD vs. Luther Reins. Jindrak comes to the ring to distract Austin, and as Austin is throwing him out, Angle chokes Van Dam on the ropes. Austin catches him and while he is removing Angle from ringside, gets clocked in the head by Reins. Another official comes out and disqualifies Reins, giving the title to RVD and proving Austin has done his job of toughening the staff.

In the Fatal Fourway, this same ref is knocked out. The Undertaker has JBL pinned, but there's no one to count. Orlando comes in and clocks the Dead Man with the WWF belt. Austin arrives, grabs the belt from Jordan, declaring his suspension immediately. JBL grabs Austin and spins him around. Kick to the gut, Stunner! Booker T makes the cover, Austin counts. New champion and as the show fades to black, JBL is seething. On the next Smackdown, JBL challenges Austin to a match. Austin refuses, stating he's a referee, not a wrestler.

JBL then begins disrupting matches. He's pissed, and he's not gonna stop until he gets Stone Cold one-on-one in the ring. Austin suspends JBL, but it doesn't stop him. The GM has had enough. He brought Austin in to restore order, and instead there is now no control. He decides to authorize a match between them at the Royal Rumble under conditions: 1, JBL refrain from interfering in matches and 2, he revoke his title rematch clause. JBL agrees, as long as Stone Cold agrees to resign his Chief Referee position if he loses. Austin and Long agree, as Austin has already gone a long way towards giving the GM the forceful officiating staff he needs.


Judge’s view: This is more like it! Two great ideas here. Xan’s is a fine idea, can’t really see anything wrong with it, and it would work, but there is so much in Random’s idea that it just has to get a massive score this time. If handled well, even the simple touch of The Undertaker smiling could add loads to the angle… JBL turning up on RAW would add huge hype, and you’d always have the suspicion in the back of your mind that it was Austin…. It just all works for me.

We’re looking at say, 81% for Xan, and 94% for RG5 on this one. I’d day that’s pretty fair.

Pt2’s analysis: Agreed, both did on awesome job here. I think I’d probably have to give the edge to Random’s as well, but I don’t know if it would be by such a margin. Anyway, the only penalty here is the 10% from Random. Everything else is fine.

Final scores:

RG5: 84%
Xanman: 81%


So a great effort from Random there pulls one back, despite his huge 10% handicap. With that, we head to the final, special “retro” scenario - designed to separate the WWE men from the Backyard Boys.

Scenario 3

Vince McMahon has been forced to sack Mabel just before the start of the 1995 king of the ring. Using the WWF roster of the time, replace Mabel in the tournament, and book an alternative KOTR tourney. You cannot use Diesel, or either of the two previous tournament winners in your scenario.


Xanman: Vince McMahon comes out to the ring to start RAW. He announces that tonight will begin the King of the Ring , but there's a problem. He's fired Mabel and needs a replacement. He's decided to replace him with a Psycho. Sid will face Adam Bomb in the qualifying round. They lead off the program, and as Vicious is about to put Bomb away with the powerbomb, out comes Diesel with the microphone. He taunts Sid, Sid comes out of the ring towards him and is promptly counted out. Jeff Jarrett defeats Undertaker with help from Roadie. Kama narrowly escapes Duke Droese. Michaels knocks King Kong Bundy out with Sweet Chin Music. Mantaur and Bob Holly battle to a draw. Doink is a no-show for his match against Roadie, who advances by forfeit. Lex Luger defeats Yokozuna with his running forearm, while Razor Ramon dominates Eli Blu.

Quarters:

Bomb vs. Jarrett--Once again the Roadie helps Jarrett win.

HBK vs. Kama--Michaels is about to hit Sweet Chin Music on Kama, when Sid comes out. He steps over the ropes, kicks Michaels in the gut and powerbombs him. The ref calls for the bell and Michaels wins by DQ. Kama staggers up, and Vicious powerbombs him onto Michaels.

Roadie has a bye through to the semis, but is attacked in the back by Doink, who claims he was assaulted by Jarrett and Roadie.

Razor Ramon vs. Lex Luger--Both guys hit each other with everything they have, and the finish comes when Luger goes for the rack, only to have it reversed into the Razor's Edge.

Semis:

Jeff Jarrett vs. HBK--After a 15-minute affair, Michaels goes for Sweet Chin Music. He misses the kick and Jarrett nails him in the back of the ribs with a stiff forearm. He cradles Michaels with both legs on the ropes and gets the 3-count, all the time wondering why the Roadie wasn't there to help him.

Roadie vs. Razor Ramon--Roadie barely makes it to the ring in time to get his ass kicked by Ramon. It's a complete squash, and as Ramon goes for the Edge, Jeff Jarrett comes running out from the back, but stops at the apron, waves it off and angry at being abandoned, leaps in joy when Ramon hits the finisher on Roadie. This leaves...

Finals:

Razor Ramon vs. Jeff Jarrett--Both guys are exhausted, but their hatred fires them up, and it's a thrilling back and forth match. There's a ref bump(surprise, surprise), and Doink comes out with a chair in his hands. He runs into the ring and is about to hit Jarrett, but spins around and nails Ramon right in the knee. Jarrett locks on the figure four, and gets the injured Bad Guy to give up. Roadie comes down and he, Doink, and Jarrett all celebrate in their victory and declare that at Double S, the next WWF Champion will be Double J.

RG5: The show opens up with the first quarterfinal match, The Undertaker v Bob Backlund. Yokozuna makes himself present at ringside, and attempts to cost the Undertaker the match. In spite of the behemoths best efforts, the Undertaker prevails, much to the crowds delight, as it seems apparent that the Yoko/Taker feud will continue.

In the second of four qualifying matches, from the other bracket it’s the IC champion Jeff Jarrett vs. The 1-2-3 Kid. With Jarret in control, the night falls further into controversy as Razor Ramon comes to ringside. Still bitter over dropping the IC title to Jarrett As the referee gets knocked down, Razor goes for the chair outside, but back in the ring misses the chair as Jarrett ducks and catches The Kid instead. Jarrett quickly recovers the chair and levels Ramon as the referee so timely awakens.

Later, its Shawn Michaels v Yokozuna. In a match up of one guy the crowd loves, and one guy they truly hate, the athleticism of Michaels is more than the big man can handle. As HBK controls, Taker continues the theme of interference in the night, seeking retribution for Yoko nearly costing him the match earlier in the evening. Taker enters and is quickly felled by a misguided Shawn Michaels plancha to the outside. Michaels seems very apologetic and respectful of the phenom, as Yoko seems to be taking control in the adversity. As Shawn is aiming Sweet Chin Music to end the match, Yoko ducks behind a recovering Taker and HBK connects with the super kick to the dead man. Frantically now, Michaels ducks a charging Yoko and super kicks him as well for the win, just in time to see Taker do the classic sit up and glare at Michaels. This time, Taker’s not so forgiving and to the dismay of the crowd, snaps and choke slams Michaels. A brutal attack follows as Taker maims a bloody Shawn. The crowd boos the apparent swerve of the Undertaker.

The final quarterfinal match sees Razor Ramon taking on Doink the Clown, a move made by Vince McMahon following Ramon’s comments about losing the IC title being a complete joke, so he was given a clown as an opponent. Ramon controls easily until 1-2-3 Kid shows up, wondering why Ramon cost him his match. The following heel swerve by the Kid costs Ramon the match, and sets up Taker v Doink in the semi-finals.

In the first semi-final match, a battered Shawn Michaels survives the IC champion Jarrett, winning over the heats of the crowd, still bloody from the attack by The Undertaker.

Taker brutalizes Doink, and the crowd simply cannot stomach the beat down. Following the Tombstone and the Win, HBK comes down to save Doink from an obviously deranged Taker.

The finals of the KOTR tourney see a great match, but in the end the vicious side and heel tactics of The Undertaker.


Judge’s view: Not as great as the last one, but the retro ones are usually lower scoring. Anyway, positive things about Xan’s storyline. Doink the Clown turns heel. Good move. Jeff Jarrett, the Intercontinental champion, wins King of the Ring and gets a title shot at the world title. Another good move. Although it’s not spectacular, it’s a well booked tournament.

Positive’s from random’s effort: There is action. There’s no denying that it would be a lot more active than the actual KOTR that year. Although I’m sceptical of the heel turn of the Undertaker in 1995... It’s possible that it could have worked, and it would have had a massive impact. So there will be points there. The downside is that there is almost too much happening on the card. Maybe the 1-2-3 kid shouldn’t have turned, or more clean matches would help this one?

Final scores? Umm… 73% to Xan, 71% for Random.

Pt2’s analysis: Well, Xan will lose 5 points… in 1995, it wasn’t Vince McMahon who would announce the firing of Mabel. On TV, he wasn’t the owner of the company, he was a commentator. It would have been Gorilla Monsoon who delivered the announcement. So 5% comes off there. Which would put the scores at 68% for Xan, and 71% for Random. Then we take off the 10% late penalty….

And the final score of this scenario is:

Xanman:68%
RG5: 61%.

Which means that the final score is 2-1 to Xanman, and we have a new champion! Another accolade for the man who puts the X in wrestling: He’s now the man who puts the X in booking!


Thanks to my contestants this time out. I’m sure we haven’t seen the last of Random guy. Xan will be back soon to defend his title against the next contestant…. Billy Arcenaux is ready to return for his long awaited-title shot.

Thanks to you all for reading. If you’d like to leave any thoughts, suggest any scenario’s, or maybe take part in the contest yourself, please send an e-mail to takeupthywrestlingboots@gmail.com

I’ll reply to all mails received.

Want to tell random that you think he should have won? Do it here at randomguy_316@hotmail.com

Want to congratulate Xan on a job well done? Do it here at Xanmanx@hotmail.com

I’ll be back in a couple of days with the 96th TUTWBAW, “You be the Booker” will be back by the end of the month, so until then, Take care!

Pt2








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