The Rant of the Week: TNA's future and My response to Daivari
Submitted by Phantom Lord on Monday, November 29, 2004 at 6:26 AM EST





Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain, it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow Phantom Lord and this is The All Mighty Rant of the Week. Boy did I get a lot of heat for last week’s column. It was actually pretty balanced as half agreed with me and half thought that I’m such an idiot that I am the living breathing poster child of the Angry American the rest of the world hates. But I’ll get to that matter in a bit since I’ve been given enough ammo for a rebuttal. On Thanksgiving I turned 24 and for once it was a pretty Happy Birthday. It’s amazing how fast 24 years go by because I know one day I’ll be sitting in front of a computer reflecting on how what seemed last week I was in my 20’s. Of course I have the aches and pains of someone twice my age so I’m hoping when I hit my 50’s I’ll have the energy I should have now.

But as I sit here its 5:40 in the AM on a Saturday morning and I often wonder where the hell did all the time go. I mean in a year I’ll be 25. That means as Morpheus from the LOP Boards had to tell me…I’ll be joining the Quarter Century Club. It doesn’t seem like much now, but back in the days the Pharaoh in Egypt being 25 meant you were a Senior Citizen. I often say I picked the worst time in history be born. On the other hand I picked the best time in history be born. In my 24 years I’ve seen a lot of things change and the most notable of them and the one if your reading this would care about the most is Wrestling. When I was 3 years old Hulk Hogan won the WWF Title and he forever changed Wrestling. It kills people to admit that, but it’s the truth. Before Hogan Wrestling really was just a couple of sweaty guys grabbing each other. After Hogan came the need for the promo and really working a crowd and talent was seen as a bonus.

So now we fast forward to today and I read this bit of news from Dave Meltzer and needless to say I’m not in the greatest mood.

Here is the basic financial score. Panda Energy, in the two plus years it has been funding TNA, has lost approximately $15million on the venture. This came on the heels of the $1.6 million Health South lost in getting the company off the ground. There may also have been losses that Jerry Jarrett incurred during the interim period between Health South money and Panda Energy money. Because of the cost of buying television time, producing television, and signing higher priced talent, the losses in recent months have hit $200,000 to $250,000 per week. With the exception of WCW from 1999 on, no wrestling company in history is believed to have ever burned money at anywhere near close to this rate.

That’s pretty grim isn’t it? Basically what Da Meltz is telling us is that TNA is up shit creek financially and unless they start to pull in some serious cash, ratings, and buyrates then it’s only a matter of time before TNA is put out to pasture like the proverbial mule if you will.

I think it’s a shame if it has to come to that because if you looked at wrestling available on television on a National Scale then TNA is right in the middle between RAW and Smackdown in terms of quality. TNA by far has much superior in ring wrestling to RAW and Smackdown, but lets face it RAW is the 400 pound gorilla and it isn’t moving anywhere anytime soon. Smackdown is a lost cause at this point. As much as I love JBL as the champion…when your biggest angle is a fake stabbing you know you’re doomed. Kidney Damage my ass…if Cena really got shanked then he wouldn’t be any where near ready to return to the ring. As it is Johnny Devine of Team Canada in NWA-TNA who really got stabbed in the stomach after a real fight in a bar still to my knowledge is not medically cleared to come back to wrestling. But I’ll deal with Cena later, right now the big issue is TNA.

On the TNA Street Team Message board, a lot of dedicated fans are really worried about the state of TNA. Rumors are flying that TNA might fold in 90 days while others like me believe TNA is in it for the long haul. My only problem with TNA (aside from booking Jeff Jarrett as Superman and Lex Luthor all rolled into one) is that if TNA is ever going to succeed they need to get out of the graveyard spot they are on FSN right now. Ok so TNA is family friendly and the show is on a Friday afternoon right after school so the Kiddie Poo’s as Ron Kuby calls them can watch it. That’s not a bad idea but there’s one small problem.

No one can watch IF THEY DON’T KNOW THE FUCKING SHOW IS ON.

Now I said this on the board over there and I shall say it again. If you tell me that you can’t use the vast Global Media Empire of Rupert Murdoch to your advantage then I will gladly say you are a moron. Can anyone honestly say they have seen a commercial for TNA Impact anywhere but FSN? Fox has The Big Fox Network, Several UPN Affiliates, FX, The Fox News Channel, Sky News, Sky Sports, and a lot of other things that are under the corporate umbrella of 20th Century Fox. Why TNA and Panda has not been on FOX to start using their media empire is beyond me. I mean a commercial during a couple of the higher rated shows on FOX…is that so much to ask.

See this is the same thing that killed ECW on TNN (Well a lot of things killed ECW on TNN…but this was the real big thing). ECW on TNN was pretty much their highest rated show. I think at it’s peak it got something like a .8 in their Friday Night spot. So when did TNN advertise ECW? Only during their Friday night block of shows and I remember the only other form of advertising they got from them was a small little ad in the Roooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooller Jam Magazine. So yeah TNA is in a bad spot right now. Assuming the numbers are right, they pulled at the most 35,000 buys for their Victory Road PPV. For an Indy Fed with limit national exposure that’s pretty good. But for the money TNA is spending it comes nowhere close to having to break even.

But despite all that bad news, I do think TNA is going to survive. Paul Heyman said it best on BYTE THIS. Jerry Jarrett is the greatest business man in all of wrestling because he has managed not to lose a single cent of his own money. Lets assume Panda decides to throw in the towel…if FOX were smart they would jump in on this. Rupert Murdoch has a bit of a rivalry with Ted Turner. What ever Ted buys….Rupert pays more to compete against him. Ted has The Braves…Rupert has The Dodgers. It’s been rumored that Billionaire Ted wants to get back into The Rasslin Business. Well my hope is a bidding war opens up on TNA should the shit hit the fan.

It’s like I said, if you cant use the FOX Empire to your advantage you’re a moron. I’m hoping FX throws them a bone and takes a chance and puts them on in prime time. Of course you know what the ultimate irony in that would be? I don’t have FX and I might not have FSN much longer because FSN and Cablevision are in a stalemate right now.

Hey there’s always hope for the USA Network…I’m sure a few executives over there would love to stick it to Vince for leaving them. Of course they have moved onto bigger and better things while TNN has become a parody of a network.

Ah well lets move on to some funnier news (Well funny to me and everyone else…well except Rene Dupree).

Here’s the story the best to our knowledge.

At a Smackdown House Show Good Ol’ Sparkplug decided to “go off script” and stomp the hell out of Rene Dupree. Rumor has it Dupree got a parking ticket in Holly’s Rent a Wreck and instead of owning up to it and saying sorry and paying the fine, Dupree kept quiet and Bob had to fly to the city his car got the ticket on his off day and I guess you can say he was a bit pissed off. Well let’s just let the pictures speak for us on this one.



Hold on…I’ve always wanted to do this.

David Crockett: KICK HIM…KICK HIM LIKE A DOG

And the aftermath was this…


And like a true Frenchmen Dupree ran for his life and Holly ran after him and continued to wail on him.

So lets recap.

Getting a parking ticket in another city: $125 Dollars
Having to fly to the city in question to pay the fine: $200 Dollars

Kicking the ever-living shit out of a rookie to vent your anger: $10,000 Dollars

Earning the respect of the locker room because no one liked the kid anyways: Priceless

Ok maybe not. It cost him $10 Grand in salary and he had to put over a muscle bound HOSS by the name of Chris Masters from OVW in a Dark Match. But the best part of this story is on Thursday on Smackdown, Tazz said Dupree got that shiner from Fifi when they were playing.

So as someone pointed out on The W, Bob Holly is now being referred to as Fifi by everyone since they all hate him but since he has friends in high places no one will dare pull a Lesnar and drop him on his head when he’s sand bagging it in the ring. So I guess it’s win-win in the end.

Speaking of win-win, it looks like I’ve gotten a fair amount of “heat” for my column last week. I wrote about the Muhammad Hassan promo and in my calmest tone of writing pointed out that this gimmick in the direction they are going is a very bad thing. According to one report, Hassan all ready got jumped by a fan in OVW during a TV Taping. So naturally when he said he would beat the racism out of us and start a revolution if he had to…needless to say I was a bit annoyed. Ok I was pissed off. The whole basis of this gimmick is they are Arab-Americans and ever since 9/11 they have been treated differently.

Well ever since 9/11 I have a nagging cough and the nose drip of a cocaine addict. Granted its not nearly as bad as the brave men and women who were down in ground zero day in and day out, but since I went to school four blocks from ground zero it’s enough for me to be a bit concerned about my health down the road.

So when I read this little response from Daivari I had to wonder was it a shot at me?

The following is from Shawn "Khosrow" Daivari's website:

"A quick comment to internet folk that are always dogging on the distastefulness of the WWE's new Arabs. None of you are Middle Eastern. I am. There's not a thing fabricated about what I say on TV. I mean what I say and the scenarios actually happen to me on a daily basis. When it happens to you, then start talking."

Now there is no proof it was directed at me, but aside from Joey Styles and myself and maybe a few others…I haven’t seen to many of the big IWC writers being outraged over this. I mean surely if Triple H fucking a dummy in a coffin was bad…the WWE using the threat of terrorism and the basis that all wrestling fans are inbred racist rednecks has got to be worse then necrophilia.

Well according to Mr. Daivari…it’s not and we have no right to criticize this. When I pointed out in the LOP Forums that he was giving a subtle FU to the Internet, I got into a nice shooting war with LOP Poster The Big Bopper. I’d copy the whole post…but this column is long enough as it is…so he’s the direct link to it. Click Here

I raised a damn good point and he’s saying that I had no point. Well I responded as I always do and here was my proof he was saying FU to the Internet.

But just for you Bopper I'll spell it out where he said fuck you to the Internet since you can't see it.

"A quick comment to internet folk that are always dogging on the distastefulness of the WWE's new Arabs. None of you are Middle Eastern. I am.

Here he tells us that we can not possibly understand the nature of this gimmick since he lives it.

There's not a thing fabricated about what I say on TV. I mean what I say and the scenarios actually happen to me on a daily basis. When it happens to you, then start talking."

Here he says what I'm saying is true and so go until it happens to you go fuck yourself.

What he neglects to mention is the TSA has to over search run of the mill Americans just so people like him and the ACLU won't scream racism.

Drudge had a big article up about the other day about women who practically get groped all because we have to make sure that underwire bra isn't a bomb since The Black Widows in Russia decided to blow a couple of airliners out of the sky a couple minutes apart.

So Daivari says we can’t possibly discuss it because it doesn’t happen to us. The point of my post was it happens to EVERYONE. I didn’t even bring up the fact that last promo they did took place in an airport on this very subject and with the WWE announcing they are going back to Iraq for shows with RAW and Smackdown I said to Phantom Classic last night how much do you wanna bet they Hassan and Daivari don’t get to go to Iraq.

If you thought the promos were bad now, how much do we want to bet the WWE would have them cut a promo about how we are baby killers. Of course caught up in all of this mess is Daivari and Hassan themselves. After all they are wrestlers and sooner or later they are going to have to step into the ring and wrestle. Well Daivari from what I’ve read is a pretty good cruiserweight wrestler. Of course before he took on the Militant gimmick he was wrestling with a flying carpet…I kid you not. Last year on Sunday Night Heat he had a match with Tommy Dreamer and he attempted a frog splash with it. Of course now the carpet is a prayer rug if I’ve read correctly.

Well like I said, I think they are playing with fire with this one and the potential for everyone to get burned is pretty damn good. Lets just hope it doesn’t come to that.

Over the weekend I did actually reach a high point for my posting career at LOP. I landed an interview with the lovely Gail Kim. If you haven’t read it all ready…do so now.

I can’t thank Gail enough for taking the time to do this interview and I really wish I had a credit card because even if 2005 sucks (Which according to the bible code and prophecy it’s going to)…at least her calendar will make up for that.

Now before I go, I must make another recommendation since a few of you took my movie recommendation for Home Room last week. I went to FYE in the hopes of getting the ECW DVD and free ECW Skull Cap but since that wasn’t in I got a couple cd’s. I picked up The Greater of Two Evil’s by Anthrax which is great (I’ve done some serious head banging to it all ready and the cd I’m recommending you should get or at least find a way to listen to is Smile by Brian Wilson.

Wilson the creative genius that he is took 40 years to finish this album. Sgt. Peppers and increased Pot smoking kinda made him shelve this thing. Well I saw the Beautiful Dreamer Documentary on Showtime and based on that I finally got this album and wow this is good. If there is any justice in the world, Wilson will win Album of the Year at The Grammy’s for this masterpiece. It’s really that good of an album and I’m glad I got it. If you listen to it you will be pleasantly surprised.

Well that’s it for this week. I’ve done way more writing then I should, but I still have to bang out two matches for PWA Schizophrenia tonight. Our own Wevv Mang is the current PWA Television Champion and you really have to read his column from this week. I swear the WWE missed a golden opportunity not doing a reality show with Kane and Lita. Thanksgiving at their house was oddly just as chaotic as it was down at my grandparents house…though The Turkey didn’t burst into flames.

On that note take care and remember someone has got to provide you with this information and it DAMN well has got to be me {S Bob Grant

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