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Submitted by Dubzilla on Saturday, September 25, 2004 at 2:25 PM EST
Breaking The Seal How you doing? It is Dubzilla and as always I bring it to you live from The Drunk Tank straight out of N Dubs, that being The Turnbuckle Tailgate. Skip the jibber jabber, I could use me a Black & Tan. World Wrestling Entertainment has two PPVs coming up within 16 days. I feel like it's June again. SmackDown is on the horizon with No Mercy while RAW tries to creep away from the shadows and flirts with the fans at Taboo Tuesday. In a perfect world, the fans would purchase both shows, but what if you could only buy one of the shows? Which one of these shows would you order? It's time for a drink, give it to me, toots. Black - No Mercy It's 10 days away and it is on a regular WWE PPV time, a Sunday night. Sure it will replay dozens of times, but second hand news is yesterday's trash. It's got an already announced loaded card. 6 matches with possibly one or two more to be announced at the last minute. 3 titles on the line with one deciding a series of matches plus 3 grudge matches. The crowd shall be hot in East Rutherford in the crosshairs of New York City. The main event features a champ that feels as if everyone loves him yet is vastly hated in his stuffed shirt demagoguery in JBL. I just realized that JBL is also a brand of stereo speakers. New nickname for JBL is now Sub Woofer because his bark is bigger than his bite. His opponent is old school Undertaker, everybody loves The Undertaker like families seem to love Raymond. There is no Raymond here, there is the Dead Man and he could very possibly win the WWE title and put JBL in a hearse in the process. Could the spirit of JBL bite the dust at No Mercy or shall The Undertaker rest in peace once again? You know what you are gonna get with No Mercy, but that can't be said about its counterpart from the RAW brand. Tan - Taboo Tuesday One month from now, RAW will bring to the forefront a groundbreaking premise in the world of PPV television. Interactive television isn't anything new, but an entire sporting event that is created by its audience, I am surprised they haven't done something along these lines sooner. A Tuesday night is the showcase evening for this, the common night for the 1st PPV replay from a Sunday Night PPV or at least that's the way it is on my cable provider. I would surmise that the fans get to log onto the WWE website and vote on stipulations and opponents for each match. One match is set featuring a family feud pitting Eugene against Eric Bischoff. That one should be a doozy and it should be a good environment for both men to fight with the gimmick booking in place. They are building a mystery with Taboo Tuesday and they want you to try to help the cause and attempt to solve the caper. Bartender's Choice - No Mercy or Taboo Tuesday? The sure thing or the unknown entity? Right now, No Mercy is stronger on paper, but Taboo Tuesday has great potential. The unpredictability factor makes it so enticing to the viewer. It's a month away, I suppose there is nothing to worry about 10 days away. Or is there? I can wait so I'll go with Taboo Tuesday. Hey, it's another T-squared just like this one. Will it be long before we see the Turnbuckle Tailgate as a viable pregame festivity to a live event on a regular basis. One thing is for sure, I'll probably be going to the SmackDown taping on October 5 so that may very well be a definite. The Pub Crawl Chock Full Of Frosty Pints, Mixed Cocktails & Sensational Shots Sex On The Beach - Female Trouble Chicks dig scars, but guys dig spontaniety. That's why Christy won the Diva Search competition. She really came into her own defeating Carmella in the final vote. Trish was right, you don't have a personality. I'm happy for Christy, a step in the right direction for redheads worldwide. One by one, we will take over the world, believe that. Speaking of power positions, Teddy Long, I thought you had some taste player. So, you like them golden oldies. What could have been an awesome Schoolgirl Match turned into a farce. I know it was the 5th anniversary of SmackDown and such, but did you have to cart out the wheelchair? All that kookiness got me to thinking, they could really capitalize on Molly's haircut. I'm sure the thought has crossed your mind that Molly looks a little bit like a lesbian. She's got a little bit of butch dyke in her, but she's pretty also. Have her come out on RAW, that would garner attention like Billy and Chuck. Have Gail Kim be her reluctant yet gullible bisexual mate. Have Gail hook up with Maven, that would piss off Molly. Then you'd have three characters in a warped love triangle that could go in many different directions. Three Stooges - Have You Seen This Child? I feel bad for Lita, I feel good for Kane. He has the chance to become a face at the expense of the man that ended Lita's pregnancy, Gene Snitsky. What a name, I got a feeling he isn't gonna last very long on RAW. If he does, they need to change his name. In the split screen with the announce team last Monday night, he looked as if he was that guy that disappeared with his son/daughter/random child in them weekly postal mailers you get with the next week's supermarket sales circulars. Hell, he very well could have been on a milk carton as a kid. If he was Heidenreich would have written a poem about it. He's your regular aberrant sick and twisted Edgar Allen Poe. Bartyles & Jaymes - We Did It Through Teamwork Evolution could have told you that, but I decided I wanted to. Big ups to the SmackDown Tag Champs of Kenzo Suzuki and Rene Dupree for picking a fight with Rey Misterio and RVD. Kenzo, it takes real balls to mess with la gente de Mexico. Then there was the dreaded haircut that The Big Show desperately needed. Kurt Angle just helped his own cause by enlisting Mark Jindrak to join Luther Reigns in his posse. Angle knows all about getting a haircut, it did wonders for him, but it will kill the ego of The Big Show. A bald giant running around on SmackDown, he'll be mighty pissed off when he wakes up from that tranquilizer dart. The Christmas Story lock and load special shooter was a nice touch to the gunning down. Whiskey Wry Observations From A Drunkard Dash Prophet Last time out, I said TNA is doing a good job filling the Wednesday PPV slot with Best Of PPVs, but do they really need to fill over half of Impact on FSN with ads plugging its airing. You interrupt the main event of last week's Impact, two minutes into the match to do so. That's insane, 10 minutes left in the hour, 30 minute time limit for the tag titles between the mixed members of AMW and XXX and you always end 4 minutes early. Do it then, do it at the end, for crying out loud. Shelton Benjamin's theme music still reminds me of Flavor Flav from Public Enemy. The superhero gimmick is mad for the house show circuit and Whopperheads who hang out at BK picking through trashcans for their free AOL music downloads. Congratulations go out to Charlie Haas and Jackie Gayda on their pending nuptuals, that is fantastic for the two of them. With that being said, deepest condolences go out to the friends and family of Ray Traylor. People die everyday, but so do wrestlers at a greater percentage of various causes. Ray died in his sleep, but The Big Bossman will live on our hearts forever. Representing law, order and justice, Cobb County's finest was a great prison guard character. I'm looking forward to read Wevv Mang's thoughts on this matter in his next edition of RWTB. MONTY HALL(Marking Out (because you're) Never Too Young (to) Harvest A Lifetime (of) Lunacy). People's Choice Taboo Tuesday is coming up from Milwaukee in mid-October. Right in the thick of baseball's postseason, it has the opportunity to go down as one of the great PPVs of all time. Why? Because it's all about the fans this time. Sure the wrestlers will battle in the ring, but how it all comes together lies in our hands. How do you create buyrates, how do you bring in the fringe viewer, most importantly, how do you make the fans happy? I have the answer, you bring in The Rock. He is simply electrifying and he hasn't fought in the ring since Wrestlemania. He makes appearances every time RAW is in California which is about 4-5 times a year. Wrestlemania next year will be in Los Angeles, he's sure to be there, but wouldn't it be a treat and somewhat of a surprise to see The People's Champ on The People's PPV. He could fight HHH for the title, he could wrestle Randy Orton as another legend, he could tangle with Y2J, another big talker for the IC belt, handicap match versus La Resistance for the tag straps. The possibilities are endless, have him go toe to toe with Ric Flair, The Man vs The Great One. Walking Tall comes out on DVD on Tuesday. What a great way to pimp out that release then to appear on WWE for the next couple of weeks. Reward the fans, even if it isn't for a match, but a guest appearance from Know Your Role Blvd.. We want The Rock, it doesn't matter what our name is, do you smell what we are cooking? Drown In Denouement Fall is here, you know what that means. Fucking foliage, it isn't pretty when you have to rake all day. Sox/Yanks again, this time at Fenway. Hopefully they will meet again in like three weeks in the ALCS. I see some ladies tonight that should be having my baby, perhaps. Until then, ahhhh, Bermulloch...................... Send Feedback Here I calling you out, the artist formerly known as Tim or Brodie. You know who you are, I hope you still read this column from time to time, drop me a line. There's something special in the cards for you. It's all part of my evil plan to make hedonism a reality. LOP Forums It's the place to be if you want to talk about anything from ice cream to one hit wonders, just go there already. It's not like I'm asking you to run an 8 minute mile, I know you got bad knees or asthma or adopted manatee or some ill fated overused excuse that refrains you from an accelerated pace. I know, my random tangents are over the top like Sylvester Stallone in a movie about an arm wrestling truck driver with a heart of gold. *NEW GALLERY* Must See! The WWE Divas PARTYING HARD After WrestleMania 24!
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