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Submitted by Wevv Mang on Sunday, August 22, 2004 at 8:54 PM EST
Ridin’ With The Bossman – Hope Shines Eternal Greetings! Welcome to another edition of Ridin’ With The Bossman, The Next Generation. This edition caps off Wevv Week, and it’s been a pleasure crankin’ out the columns. It’s been challenging and most important, fun. One year down and still many more to go. Some changes will be made, and hopefully keep things fresh. Feedback from the week has been very positive, and that makes me happy. WWE has also delivered plenty of material for this column, as we have a PPV to discuss, a new champion who is getting mixed reactions, and the same old champion with a new direction. Let’s get to it. WWE – The TV Series SummerSlam Recap Info by Steven "Rommel" Schaeffer SummerSlam, the expectations going in seemed to be mixed. The tradition of SummerSlam being an important PPV kept the interest up, but many matches didn’t have that spark. Last minute tinkering hindered rather than helped. How did the show stack up? The Dudley Trio (Spike, Bubba, D-Von) vs Rey, Billy, Paul (Almost a Filthy Animals reunion) Not a bad match, with plenty of exciting spots, but it was only later in the match that the spots arrived. Fairly dead crowd, which is odd. First match, good match, a little slow at times, but those Canadians didn’t seem to care for it. Well, it is early in the show, and they know that. Finish was a beautiful combination of moves. Dudley’s win. Video Death Want to know how it came to this, a Death Do Us Part match? No? No one did, but here it is. What could top this? The next part of the story. Matt Hardy vs Kane Good match. The circumstances surrounding the match suck, but the match itself was pretty good. Even with his bad leg, Matt worked well. The finish was a big chokeslam off the ropes. Kane wins, as we all knew he would. - It just goes to show, no matter how good the wrestling, if the angle sucks, the whole thing sucks. These two put on a good match, but the whole Albatross of the pregnancy angle will bury the wrestling in this match. Booker T vs John Cena First of Five I don’t like how this is going. It’s supposed to be a battle between these two, and yet, it’s not. It’s just some matches that happen. The match itself wasn’t bad, but way too slow at times. Also, being the first in the series makes it less important than it could be. It’s not personal, it’s not for the title, it’s just happening, since neither seems to have anything better to do. Cena wins, and we have four more to go. Teddy and Bisch, Best Buds. It’s the annual meeting of the GM’s where they trade barbs (which was good) and then never speak to the other again. However, one key line was thrown out by good old Teddy. He’ll sign any wrestler that wants off Raw. RUN JERICHO! RUN! Batista vs Jericho vs Edge IC Title match This match was better set up than others, but the heat was just not there. Edge is in Limbo ad needs to get of the fence and pick a direction to go in. Jericho, well, the IC belt is a step down, and I wanted him to win at times, it was a conflict of emotions. No mater how this turned out, Jericho was not where he should be. Batista was the guy who should win. The match was solid, and Edge got the clean pin on Jericho. Kurt Angle vs Eddy Excellent match, that dragged at times, but kept the interest level high. It was Ankle Lock city as both men used it a lot. Lot of long drawn out spots, and not that much chain wrestling. Still, these two know how to work and put on a good show, and they did. The finish was Eddy tapping to the Anklelock. Triple H vs Eugene Gone is the wrestling retard and hello to Punch - Kick Eugene. There was the occasional wrestling move thrown in to keep the crowd happy. Slow match with some nice spots. Ending was a cluster. Ric got involved and then Regal came down to counter, and Eugene was happy to see Regal when H snuck a win. Divas Dodge Ball I was looking forward to this and it delivered. The Diva Contestants were called team Dream and showed good unity coming out. I did notice that Carmella was absent. Hm. Trish sat out as well, and played Team Captain. It took as much time to set up the game as it did to play. Team Dream smoked the Divas. TEAM DREAM SMOKED THE DIVAS! That was awesome. Michelle has a hell of an arm, and was picking off the chicks left and right. The only one lost to the Dream team was Joy, who got cocky and ran forward to throw the ball and got nailed. Still the game was great TV. I did read that jazz threw out her shoulder during this competition. Poor Jazz. Undertaker vs Bradshaw (MOOO!) I never thought Undertaker would be the one to bust out the moves in a match, but there he was. He tried. Bradshaw is about on the same level as Kenzo. A big stiff. This match was so exciting and intense, the fans started the Wave. And it kept going, and going. Lots of punching and kicking, and clotheslines, lots of clotheslines. Orlando got involved. Taker countered. Bradshaw went to use the belt, but failed. Taker picked it up and the ref recovered from his bump (Of course there was a ref bump) to see him use it and call for the bell. Taker then pounded Bradshaw, slamming him on the limo, ripping off the horns, got hi on the roof and put him through it. Bradshaw, still your champion. Benoit vs Orton Nice psychology going into the match. There was a test of strength, but it’s forgivable, since it prefaced by some nice chain wrestling. Excellent match, with lots of honest to goodness wrestling. Nice long match too. Great reversals, no outside interference, and a solid performance. Best match of the show. One scary spot was when Benoit went sailing headfirst through the ropes to crash into the guardrail. Headfirst again. But he got back in the ring, and the paced slowed down, which was a good thing. Orton got the pin, clean, after an RKO. Post match celebration went for a long time as well. Benoit even shook Randy’s hand. Awesome match. Well, that was SummerSlam, a OK PPV. This one showed the problem most of the PPV’s having been having lately. They’re just commercial free TV shows. Not something special, not something to look forward too, but simply the same ol’ same ol’. Only you’re paying almost $40 to see it. Maybe because I’ve been smarkified, but PPV’s used to mean something. It wasn’t just he title matches, where the belt usually changed hands, but it was also a turning point in angles. You needed to watch the PPV’s because you might miss something. PPV’s were a big deal. Not always, but enough so that they mattered. It wasn’t just that the matches had more time spent on being built up. Now, it’s just a rip off. If you didn’t see it, you didn’t miss anything. AS for the matches, guess what? You got to see the best they had to offer the following nights. Raw Recap Info provided by Steven " Mr. Recap" Schaeffer Show starts off with Orton going to the ring to a fanfare. Streamers fall for the ceiling, music blares, the crowd roars. Orton soaks it all in. He then gives a strong promo. Benoit comes out and challenges for the title. Well done segment. At least there’s some good wrestling to look forward to tonight. Because: Kane and Lita the Saga That Won’t Die Yep, it’s a big night for these two! Lita’s Bridal Shower The Divas played a mean trick on Lita and gave her presents. Molly, the one who was made fun of for being a virgin gave contraceptives. Gail gave doctored photos, and Jazz gave her a vibrator. WHOOO-Doggie what fun! Lita runs off, with a spare pack of batteries. Victoria was upset. Victoria vs Gail Kim A pretty good match. Some nice wresting and good spots. Victoria got the pin and then Trish got to come down and beat her up. Stevie Richards in drag made the save. So this angle is going to head south real quick too. One Hour down, two matches. Tells you what kind of show it was eh? Edge vs Kane Not a bad match, but then there was Lita at ringside. She tried to help Edge, Kane lost. Edge own, so Kane only gets Pregnant Lita, who is now starting to wear maternity clothes. Not a prize. Divas Search Stuff Man, was that a shoot promo or what? Just brutal, and Carmella gets to stay and Michelle has to go. That’s not right. Carmella tried to lay nice, but then she slammed Joy who said NICE things about her. That’s classic. I guess it was to create tension since Management loves chicks living in misery. But man, Happy Bouncing chicks? That’s a key reason why I, and about a million other people watch. It’s harmless fluff. It’s hot. If we wanted miserable chicks we’d give a shit about the pregnancy angle. For me, I want some one who is going to do the job to win. Some one who is actually going to give a shit about putting on a good performance, since she is going to be on TV a lot. At least at first. Carmella can be replaced. Easily. Amy has Howard Stern Connections. Amy on Stern would be a very good thing, especially if she puts the product over and she will. Joy will as well, but I read the interview she did here at Lop and damn, get that girl signed quick. She should win. I like Tracy. She has skills, and Joy is awesome. But Amy, she’s the best one for the job. Because she will work at it. She will do the best she can and knows there is more to the job than just being hot. Carmella is a disaster. You want to talk Sable complex? That chick has it and she hasn’t even won yet. No showing Dodge Ball? How does that happen? The T&A factor can be met without her being there. Frankly I don’t see how having her under contract is going to help WWE. Trust me on this. This is a lawsuit waiting to happen. Think about this. Playboy has survived many attempts to be put out of business. Four times longer than WWE. When it comes down to it, which side are they going to be on? The Playmate of The Year 2004 or WWE? Jericho vs Batista w/ Ric Flair Not a bad match, but a pointless one. They can wrestle well together, I know that, but there was no purpose behind it. It wasn’t revenge, it wasn’t for even the #1 contenders spot. It just was. Flair cheated for Batista, Ref caught it, Jericho wins by DQ, Batista starts pounding away, Edge comes out and just watches. Oh, so that was the point. Whoop-de-do. Benoit vs Orton Another solid match. Only this time, instead of being more equal, it was mostly Randy. Benoit did make a come back, but Evolution came down to help him win. Another RKO and another pin by Orton. Randy stood triumphant. Then it all hit the fan. Evolution turned on him. For no apparent reason. They beat him to a pulp. H yelled something at the end that made no sense. -Side note, I did catch Orton doing the Eugene thumb biting schtick while in the crossface. He did it more than once. H’s little end speech may have been a rib on Eugene, since the tide has turned on the poor retard. Well, didn’t that ending seem rushed? Orton just wins the belt, beats Benoit for a second time and now he’s got all of Evolution to worry about. H is now his main foe. H is going to suck the life right out of Orton, much like he did with Eugene. Eugene was over. He was hot, Now he’s not. What happened? Nothing but H. The rumor is that Orton is going to be turned face. That’s not good. Folks cheer Randy because he entertains them. He’s still a heel. That’s what they like. They love the cockiness, the ego, and the fact that he wins. Time and time again. H did the same thing, but in a different manner. Randy talked tough, but when confronted, was weak. Both in the ring and out, Randy seems to win, not by cheating his balls off, but by getting lucky. It’s a rare skill. And now, something tells me, that Orton is going to get the Booker T, Big Poppa Pump and Goldberg treatment from H. Crushed. Smackdown Recap Info provided by Chris "CMV1" Mathews Show opens with Bradshaw. Who is in a Halo. That being a neck restraining device. Death after the MOOO! Crowd is dead, as Bradshaw takes four minutes to even get inside the ring. He really must be studying H. Bradshaw talks, Orlando talks, and not a peep is heard. Taker shows up. Crowd comes alive. OJ and Bradshaw scurry off. 15 minutes for nothing. Spike vs Scotty 2 Hotty Not a bad match. The Dudley’s ran in and out all match long, making things interesting. Spike got the pin. I like the new heel Spike. I like how he’s now the de facto leader of the group. This angle could get interesting. The only thing hindering it is a lack of clear direction. The pieces are I place, now it’s time to get the plot moving. Spike Strikes Again Backstage promo with Cena. Cena says he’s going to win. Spike enters and takes over. He calls Cena on his lack of gold. Cena tries a come back and gets a ballshot for his trouble. The Trio then beats him up for good measure. Nice, and it served a purpose. The Dudley’s are a menace. London and Kidman vs Chavo and Jamie Noble Non-title so the champs aren’t winning. I was right, but it was still a good match. Lots of tag team moves and tactics. Tough Enough Returns Oh good grief, I hope this isn’t like the Divas Search in tat it doesn’t get it’s own show and is injected into Smackdown. That won’t work. The Divas Search has hot chicks going for it. Tough Enough Won’t. I like that Tough Enough is coming back, but some thought needs to be put into how this is going to play out. Eddy’s Promo Eddy calls out Angle. Angle comes out with Luther. Luther needs to lose the earrings. Eddy wants to shake Angle’s hand. Angle stalls and then does. Edie clocks him. Angle tries to regroup. Angle and Luther attacks from opposite sides. It looks bad for Eddy until Rey makes he save. LWO? Maybe. John Cena vs D-Von Booker did guest commentary. Now we know what earlier was about. A cheap way to set up a match. Cena pins D-Von is quick time. He then stares at Booker. So, just how long is it going to take to get this best of five series out of the way? 5th Anniversary of Smackdown *Spit Take *It’s the fifth anniversary next week??? Already? What the? How come? Gah, it blows my mind… OAW here we go. Rob Van Dam vs Rene Dupree Fifi makes a bid for freedom. She’s seen the room. She doesn’t want to go back. Not a bad match. The crowd is actually alive through this one. Nice back and forth and RVD gets the pin after the Five Star. Kenzo Suzuki comes out and tries to beat down RVD. RVD helps. Man, Kenzo really doesn’t know how to wrestle. I’m sorry Chad, I had no idea. It took a Velocity episode to show me the truth. The thing is, I like the gimmick and it could work for anybody. Why hire the guy? Ah, I know. This woman.  That’s what she looks like without makeup. Sports Entertainment Teddy goes to the truck and tells a chick to play a tape and teaches her how to say "Holla Holla". Back from break, and teddy says that she had bad breath. Oh Teddy, you playa you. It’s a tribute to Big Show. Alright. Big Show is coming back and from the SummerSlam and, he’s in shape. Angle and Luther vs Rey and Eddy Good match and nice action. Lots of in and out antics and good psychology. Eddy gets the pin on Angle after a furious round of moves. So, that’s the show. A rather poor one. See, my problem is that this show did little to build momentum. Coming off the PPV, many angles were left hanging. Both title matches had nothing to do. Cena took on D-Von, not Booker and the Taker / Bradshaw didn’t do squat. Nothing was built up. Instead it was place keeper mode. Same with Angle and Eddy. They now have partners, but little else. SummerSlam should have been the end, and now it keeps going. Spike was the only one who made some progress, as his character was further developed. This show had nothing but strange pacing. Angle/Eddy and Friends match should have been next week. Cena should have taken on Booker since they are in the middle of a BEST OF FIVE series. New angles should have been born, not kept stagnant. Overall, it was a cluster, as creative had no idea of what they want to do, so they just stretched everything out a while longer. That just weakens everything. Waters it down. Bah, it was a bad week for the WWE period. Nothing seems to be clicking. The shows created more buzz by not doing the right thing, thus creating the wrong kind of buzz. In Orton's case, they’re waiting to see if he gets squashed. In Angle’s case, well, they’re just grateful to have some one who can wrestle back. It’s not expectation of good things that’s driving the IWC climate right now, it’s what manner of crap is coming next. But hey, we got a wedding to look forward to. Yippee. Kane's House Living Room Kane and Lita are in the living room unpacking. Lita opens a box, and removes the packing paper. Lita: Kane, honey, what’s this? Kane looks up from another box full of thongs he was sniffing. Kane: Huh? Lita holds up a framed picture of Kane standing next to X-Pac and Tori. Kane: Just a picture of my old friend X-Pac and my old girlfriend Tori. Lita: You kept an old picture of your girlfriend? Kane: yeah, I’m going to add it to my Shrine Of Misery! HAHAHA! Lita: I can’t believe you kept pictures of your old girlfriend after we got married! Kane: Well, what about all that Hardy stuff you keep? Like this one of you and Matt, and this one of you and Matt at the zoo? Huh? You get to keep that stuff. Lita: If it bothers you so much, Ill put it away. I had no idea you’d be so jealous! Kane: You’re kidding right? Lita starts packing up her pictures. Kane stops her at one. Kane: You can keep this one. I don’t have a problem with this one. Lita: This one is OK, it’s another guy and me. Kane: yeah, but it’s only Jeff. He’s no threat. Lita: Well, OK then. You can keep your picture too. What ever happened to X-Pac? Kane: he started dating Chyna and doing drugs. I’m not sure which came first. The poor guy. He went of the deep end after he put on the mask. My life has been so much better after I lost it. Now I have you. Kane tries to cop a feel and Lita slaps him. Kane: OH yeah baby, that’s the way I like it! Lita backs up and grabs whatever she can get her hands on. It’s a stuffed squirrel. Kane: Easy baby, put Mr. Squeaky Down! He’s my childhood friend! Lita: You stay back! The doorbell rings. Kane: Dammit! There goes foreplay! Kane stomps over and gets the door. A young woman in a Girl Scout uniform is standing there. JR is nervously watering his lawn across the street, keeping a wary eye on Kane’s house. Molly:Howdy neighbor! I’m Molly Holly and I’m helping support Girl Scout Troop #483! I’m selling some cookies and was wondering if you’d be willing to help out the troops? Kane: NO! WE don’t buy from solicitors! Girl scouts are from HELL! THE SPAWN OF EVIL! Molly: I’m sure you’re mistaken sir, these girls are good caring individuals. Won’t you please buy a box of cookies? Kane: I said NO! Lita: Kane, who’s at the door? Is it that Bossman with my underwear…It’s another WOMAN! You Two Timing bastard! I leave you alone for a second and you're trying to pick up another woman! Kane: LITA! It’s not like that, she selling- Lita: I know what she’s selling! TRAMP! Kane: She’s not my type Lita, she’s breathing- Lita: That’s it Kane, you’re on the couch tonight, with Mr. Squeaky! Lita storms off. Kane turns to an indifferent Molly. Kane: Now see what you’ve done! Kane raises his arms, and brings them down. Across the street JR bursts into flames. He screams and starts running around in circles. Big Show rushes over from across the street try and put him out. Bossman wanders over and stands there laughing and pointing. Kane: Damn , missed. Kane smiles evilly as he slams the door on Molly. Molly stands there a while. Molly: So, can I put you down for two boxes? All right! Another sale! Molly turns and walks down the path. Big Show has finally gotten JR out. They see Molly coming and run away. JR lies there panting. Molly: Hi Mr. JR! You still owe me for the three boxes. Can I put you down for another six? All right! JR groans. Next Week: The Local Hangout! Over-Analyzing Wrestling Today’s Topic: Where Does The Time Go? So, my one-year of main paging has been marked with fun and renewal. Anniversaries are big things to some and small things to others. After a while, keeping track of them becomes s more of a hassle than a cause for celebration. Like Birthdays. The older you get the less it means. But then when you get really older, it’s a big deal again. Well, maybe not. I like anniversaries. They’re milestones in one’s life. I’ve moved around a lot, so I like to hang on to things, to give them a sense of permanency in this constantly changing world. It’s just a quirk of mine. While making a fuss about myself, I didn’t notice that another main page writer celebrated his anniversary. Good Ol’ Winter marked his first year of writing with a special column. Congrats to Winter. Way to go man. Check it out and celebrate with him. Let It Snow Next week also has a special anniversary. Five years of Smackdown. At least four of those have been as the number one show on UPN. Yet, WWE isn’t making a big deal out of it. They just kinda through it out there on Thursday. Now, Five years is a long time for a TV show, when the average life span is about three years. Five years is a reason to celebrate. Yet it looks like this is an afterthought on WWE’s part. That’s just sad. Any TV show reaching the five-year mark is considered a success. Doing a show every week for five years straight, well, that’s really something to be proud of. If the network were actually strong, it would be a newsworthy story. But since it’s only UPN, I doubt anyone will pick up on it. That’s not WWE’s fault, but UPN. Bragging that you’re number one on UPN is something of a joke. It’s like a kid challenging you to fight. No contest. Well, maybe ABC would be scared. I just can’t believe that WWE didn’t even try to make something special out of this. A month of hype would have helped the show and at least let people know it’s still on. It may not have helped ratings, but it couldn’t hurt either. But there’s been nothing. Not a peep until one week before the actual date. That’s ridiculous. No special guest? Well, that’s it, isn’t it? No one wants to come. Rock? He got shifted to Raw, even though Smackdown was "his" show. The only big name not tied down to Raw is Hogan, and he won’t show. Not by this point. It would have been a good event, and if some thought had actually been done, he could have had his daughter sing the national anthem to open the show. But late now. The real kicker about this is that it’s an easy promotional gig. Yet only last minute "Oh crap, I almost forgot, is Target still open?" thinking is going on. No effort, no thought, no flair, no plan what so ever. Disposable angles could have been made, ones that were special one night deals. And they could have been advertised in advance, and no. I’m not talking the opening two minutes. I’m talking about all month long. It would have even helped SummerSlam. A battle Royal for the belt could have been done. Where the winner gets a shot at the Five Year Anniversary (heeyyy, cross-promotion a great idea!) Show. With Special Guest Ref The Rock. Then you could have Taker just come out and beat everyone, including giving the Rock a Choke Slam. Hey, now that is something special that will get people talking. Five years? It may, and now this is scary, BRING BACK FANS! You know those people who used to tune it to see the SmackDown Six? Back when the show was hot, but all the attention was on what crap Raw was? What better way to debut the next Big Thing HeidenReich? Hey, I’m not saying he is, but for that split second you would believe, until he spoke or tried to do a move, but hey, it’s all good till then and that’s all you can really hope for. If it sells one T-Shirt, that’s better than nothing. Five year Anniversary. Just saying those words makes me think "OK, Gotta do something Special": Right there is the right thought process. Things can start out of the right track and hopefully can be a morale boost to the locker room. Because once you start trying, it’s easy to keep trying. OK Folks, that’s it for today. I’m later than usual for a Sunday, but I have an excuse right HERE: Wevv Week – WWE The TV Series Wevv Week - Who’s House? Wevv Week – We Need Vince Next Week, Wevv goes Fishing! Sorry no column. To all the folks who wrote me, sorry for not writing back, but I now have a week to try and catch up. Thanks for all the kind words. I’m glad you liked it, and I liked doing it, so it’s all good. Man, I am really looking forward to a week off. I said it yesterday, but I’ll say it again. WWE is coming to Phoenix and it’s going to be my first Smackdown taping. In four years of attending wrestling events, I always got Raw. Even moving to Phoenix from Chicago, it was Raw, and then SummerSlam. There was a Smackdown house show, which was great, but it’s clearly not the same as the TV events. I still haven’t bought tickets. I’m going to wait a bit until I see what the show is like on Tuesday, and maybe #Gasp# read spoilers. I am totally stoked to see Big Show return, and that’s my main reason for wanting to take time off from work and go see some wrestling. So hopefully good seats will still be available by then. Just about every seat in America West is good, but the sweet ones I usually get may be gone by now. Well, actually, the low attendance for the TV tapings may work in my favor. I’m going to go check now. Quick Plugs! LOP Forums! They’re back! What are you waiting for! Get to Posting! LOP Merchandise! Not only reasonable Priced but stylish too! LOP Creative Writing Forum! See what all the fuss is about! Wevv Week Is Over.Thanks For Taking Part  Until Next Time Thanks For Reading and Thanks For Ridin’ Wevv Mang mrwevv@mac.com LOTS of Hot Photos of Randy Orton's Wife SAMANTHA!!!
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