C.O.T.M: The Sharpshooter: The Night I lost my Smile
    Submitted by Phantom Lord on Monday, July 26, 2004 at 7:09 PM EST



    NOTE FROM STANMAN: The following column was the winner of the June Column Of The Month Contest held in the LOP Columns forum. Each month the winner gets to have one of his columns posted on the main page. This month we have Cavalou and his column, The Sharpshooter. Send all feedback to dsp_81@hotmail.com. Enjoy!


    THE SHARPSHOOTER: The Night I Lost My Smile

    Hello world, and welcome to this very special main-page edition of The Sharpshooter. I am the man that will lead you on this trip through the wrestling world, Devin Payne. I'm proud to be here after my good friends and fellow column writers in the LoP Forums voted me the winner of the June Column Of The Month Contest. And on that note, I would like to once again thank everyone who voted for me. I appreciate it very much, and it means a lot to me considering all of the talented columnists that we have in the forums. If you haven't read some of the fine work by guys like YourAyatollah, randomguy#5, Julian Phoenix, Valleyboy, tinaali and others(including my buddy Sandman), you're really missing something. I'd urge anyone and everyone to go read these people's columns, as they rival the main page work on many other websites. Thanks again, guys!

    For those of you who aren't at all familiar with my work, allow me to quickly give you my background. I was really turned on to wrestling around the late-1980's, and was a huge fan into the 1990's. Around 1995, my interest waned as a result of several things that were going on in my life, not to mention some personal issues. While I was still a fan, I wasn't as attached to wrestling as I had been. However, I regained my attachment a couple of years later and have grown to love and appreciate the sport more than ever. As I was introduced to the Internet Wrestling Community around the late-90's, I became more of a "smart fan." But it wouldn't be until July of 2002 when I would take a stab at column writing. My first tenure in the LoP Forums lasted roughly a month, but I learned a great deal in that short time. A year later, I had another one-month run in the forums. Finally, with the desire to write a weekly column really burning in my gut, I returned this past April. Three months later, and here I am! I'm having more fun doing this than I ever believed that I could. What you will find when you read one of my columns is that I am as opinionated as the next person, but I try and write from that place within all of us(or most of us at least) that made us love this sport to begin with. Obsessions with backstage politics and workrate be damned! So now that you know what to expect, let's jump right in........

    LOCKING IT IN

    -This week's edition of WWE SmackDown! originally didn't look like it would be all that great when I saw the confirmed match listing. However, I must say that I enjoyed the show when I watched it. SmackDown! has no doubt improved lately and seems to have a better sense of direction. Maybe it's because the storylines for SummerSlam are kicking into high gear, but whatever it is, I like it.

    -Speaking of SummerSlam, the first two matches for the August spectacular were announced on SmackDown!. John Bradshaw Layfield will defend his WWE Championship against The Undertaker, while Kurt Angle will make his return to the ring against Eddie Guerrero. Though I know that some people will bitch, moan and complain about the potential workrate of the JBL/Taker match, I don't view the match as a bad thing at all. We have the classic heel character of JBL against "The Conscience" of WWE. I thought their interaction last night was classic stuff. It featured plenty of fast-talking by the champion, while Undertaker let his actions do the talking. Let's see how things play out.

    The latter encounter should be a great match, despite the fact that Angle hasn't wrestled a televised match since WrestleMania XX last March. It's so great to have Kurt back on the active roster, and now he and "Latino Heat" can resolve the issues that they never had the chance to after Angle became the SmackDown! General Manager.

    -Speaking of the G.M. position, who's going to fill Angle's shoes after he was FIRED by Vincent Kennedy McMahon himself? I'm doubting it will be Paul Heyman, seeing as how he's gearing up for a managerial role. I also doubt it will be Stephanie McMahon, as it was nine months ago when Vince went far enough to fight his own daughter over the G.M. spot. I can't see him re-hiring her in this case. I wouldn't be surprised, however, if it was Shane McMahon who got the nod. As long as he stayed out of repeatedly feuding with Superstars, I wouldn't mind seeing him running things. An occasional match or two would be fine, though.

    -I read that, with all of the speculation over what RAW's World Heavyweight Championship Match will be at SummerSlam, WWE is not planning on running another match between Chris Benoit and Triple H at the big event. With those two men participating in a 60-Minute Iron Man Match on the July 26th edition of RAW, I can see why they won't be having another match in just a few weeks on pay-per-view. There have been all sorts of rumors and speculation circulating about exactly WHO will be in the match at SummerSlam, but one in particular caught my eye. It has Benoit defending the title against Randy Orton, who he's worked with at some house shows. Triple H would then go on to face Eugene. Now, I don't mind this scenario at all if WWE chooses to go with it. You sure can't accuse them of being stale with their projected SummerSlam card as it stands right now. I tell you what, I'm looking forward to this show maybe more than I did WrestleMania XX. It just looks like it may shape up to be one hell of a pay-per-view.

    -Rumors swirling abound that Sean "X-Pac" Waltman is returning to WWE after his stint in rehab is done. I'm doubting that he'll be an active wrestler, as chronic neck problems may prevent that from happening. But perhaps he could serve as a manager? It's been said that Triple H is the one responsible for getting him a job, which doesn't surprise me seeing as the two men have been friends for a long time, the whole Waltman/Joanie Laurer debacle notwithstanding.

    -Speaking of Joanie Laurer, the former Chyna stated that her and Waltman have broken off their relationship due to his decision to return to WWE(*sheds a tear*). She also bitched, moaned and complained that she felt she was underpaid in WWE. I seriously doubt that. As far as I'm concerned, she was lucky to even be collecting a paycheck to begin with. With the attitude that she has, seemingly hating almost everything and everyone on the planet Earth, she was fortunate to even have a job in the then-WWF in 2000 and 2001. When McMahon finally did cut her loose, I wasn't upset in the least bit. Of course, that's probably because I never liked her or her character in the first place. Sue me.

    Well, that's gonna do it for the random tidbits. Let's move on to today's topic...........

    HERE COMES THE PAIN: THE NIGHT I LOST MY SMILE

    When we think about watching wrestling as a child, we think about what turned us on to the sport to begin with. Maybe it was the phenomenon known as "Hulkamania," or the pageantry and prestige of "Nature Boy" Ric Flair. For those of you who haven't been fans as long as some of us, perhaps it was "Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels and "The Excellence of Execution" Bret Hart's run in the mid-90's or even the dawning of the "Attitude Era" in 1998. Or maybe it was the nWo? Whatever it was, we all hold tight to those memories of yesteryear.

    These memories are immortalized in a special place within us all. This place existed because, as children, we hung on the every success and failure of these gladiators, our heroes. We celebrated their victories, and we cried at their defeats. This was because we weren't worn down by the pull of rumors, spoilers and many so-called "journalists" forcing their opinions on us all as if they were fact. When we were children, we were ultimately in a different state of mind.

    This is a state of mind that some of us still try to find our way back to, the state where we are in pure awe of the spectacle that takes place before us. I've found that I can often return to that state of mind, and though it's not as pure as it once was, it's still a great place to be. It allows us to let it all sink in without being overly-critical of mic skills or workrate. This is the place where the true fan in all of us exists.

    When I come to this place, I feel at peace. And I find that I recall the good moments as fondly as the bad ones. The good ones, such as a Hulk Hogan WWF Championship victory, are indeed something special. But I believe that the bad ones are the most important, as our reaction to them let's us all know just how alive we really are. That brings me to the point of all of this, the moments where I "Lost My Smile." Going back over the years, I will recall some of these times. They aren't listed in any order of importance, but rather by chronological order.

    WrestleMania VI, April 1990: Hulk Hogan loses the WWF Championship to the Ultimate Warrior
    I was utterly distraught at the result of this match. While I didn't dislike the Warrior at the time, I idolized Hogan, and therefore was in tears after he was pinned. I actually thought "The Hulkster" was on his way to victory after he seemingly withstood the Warrior's patented surge of offense. He "Hulked Up" and went for his trademark legdrop, only to see the Warrior move out of the way at the last minute. Hogan crashed to the mat, and the Warrior shot off the ropes and hit his trademark splash. Hogan tried to kick out at the last minute, but to no avail. The Warrior had become a double champion, adding the WWF Championship to his Intercontinental Championship. I honestly believe that this may have been the first time that I shed a tear over wrestling.

    The Brother Love Show, April 1990: Hulk Hogan is brutally attacked by Earthquake
    Coming off my emotional response to the events that had transpired at WrestleMania VI, it was no surprise that I freaked out when this happened. As an eight-year old kid, I was sitting in front of my television watching "The Hulkster" get interviewed by Brother Love just days after his loss to the Ultimate Warrior. All of a sudden, he was attacked by the 400-plus pound behemoth. As the fans in the arena and everyone at home watched in horror, Earthquake splashed his massive frame down upon Hogan's chest. I was flabbergasted. Then came the tears. I was really worried that, not only was my hero seriously hurt, but that I would never see him again. My prayers for his recovery were answered a few months later, of course, when he returned to exact revenge upon the mammoth at SummerSlam.

    WrestleMania VII, March 1991: Sergeant Slaughter throws a fireball in Hulk Hogan's face after their match
    I remember this footage being shown for the first time on WWF Superstars the following Saturday morning after WrestleMania. I had turned the show on expecting the celebration from the previous Sunday's WrestleMania VII pay-per-view to continue, but boy was I surprised. Heck, surprised wasn't even the word for what I saw. This incident had actually occured after the pay-per-view went off the air. The last thing that any of us had seen was Hogan celebrating in the middle of the ring as the new WWF Champion. After months of Slaughter spewing anti-American sentiment upon becoming an Iraqi sympathizer, he had finally been put in his place. Despite bloodying the "Real American," Slaughter had been unable to defeat him. After the match ended and the show went off the air, Hogan's aforementioned celebration had continued backstage. This is when the devious Slaughter made his move. He swept in and launched a fireball at Hogan's face, dropping him to the floor. The concept of the fireball was still somewhat new to me at the time, so it would've been really hard for me to not believe that Hogan had actually been seriously hurt. Compounding matters was how he was screaming and writhing in pain on the floor. My hero would come back to exact revenge on Slaughter of course, but only after I had been terrified that I would never see him again. It turned out that Slaughter and Hogan repeated that trick on one another several times at WWF Live Events across the country. In June of that year, I attended a show that they main-evented. This time it was Hogan turning the tables on Slaughter, as the melee spilled into the crowd and Hogan launched a fireball right into his face. Nonetheless, I will never forget my first experience with the old-school fireball.

    WWF Superstars, Fall 1991: Jake "The Snake" Roberts allows his pet cobra to bite "Macho Man" Randy Savage
    The whole setup to this incident was when Roberts and The Undertaker crashed Savage and Elizabeth's wedding reception at SummerSlam in August. As Elizabeth opened one of her gifts, she found a deadly cobra snake inside. Roberts and Undertaker then appeared to harass her and Savage. A few weeks later on WWF Superstars, where the semi-retired Savage worked as an announcer, Roberts struck again. He attacked Savage and tied him up in the ring ropes. He then unleashed the cobra once again, but this time it actually bit Savage! It locked right on to his bicep! I was horrified at the sight of this, not to mention the fact that I've never been a big fan of snakes. It seemed to remain latched on to Savage's arm for eternity, until it was finally pulled off. This was another instance--much like the fireball incident--where I would've had a really hard time believing that it wasn't real. Of course we all know by now that the cobra was de-venomized, but still, the damn thing actually bit him!

    WCW Great American Bash, July 1992: Sting loses the WCW Championship to Big Van Vader
    Much like Hulk Hogan was my favorite WWF wrestler, Sting was my favorite WCW wrestler. From his multi-colored face paint to his battles with the likes of Ric Flair, I had long been a "Little Stinger." Hell, I even dressed up like the guy for Halloween one year. I'm talking face paint, haircut, tights and all. But this is one night that I will never forget. The monstrous Big Van Vader had been in pursuit of Sting's WCW Championship, and had destroyed everything and everyone in his path. They would meet on July 12th, 1992 in Albany, Georgia at The Bash. I remember having that bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that Sting would not be able to beat Vader, but held out hope nonetheless. That hope didn't help him in the end though, as Vader defeated him to become the WCW Champion for the first time. I bawled my eyes out after this one, because I truly HATED Vader. I was angry for a long time after that, and began watching less WCW with Vader as champion.

    WrestleMania IX, April 1993: Bret Hart loses the WWF Championship to Yokozuna
    Remember how I said that I HATED Vader? Well in the WWF, I HATED Yokozuna. And when he debuted in the company in late-1992, he got a pretty big push immediately. He went from squashing Virgil in his first pay-per-view match at Survivor Series to winning the Royal Rumble match just two months later. This gave him an automatic WWF Championship Match with the champion, Bret Hart, at WrestleMania IX in Las Vegas, Nevada. This was really the first year that the WWF billed the Royal Rumble winner as getting a title shot at WrestleMania, and I was less than pleased that Yokozuna was getting that shot. When the big day came, Hart did the impossible. Everyone said that the massive 500-plus pound challenger's legs were too big for Hart to lock him in his patented submission maneuver, The Sharpshooter. But with Yoko laying face-down on the canvas, "The Hitman" locked it in! Just as it looked like the sumo may submit, his evil manager, Mr. Fuji, tossed powder in Hart's eyes. Bret collapsed to the mat in pain, releasing the hold. A massive legdrop from Yoko moments later, and he was the new WWF Champion. I can't find the words to express how disappointed I was with this. Of course, we all know that Hulk Hogan would come out to check on Hart afterwards, only to be challenged to an impromptu title match by Fuji and Yoko. As quickly as that began, it was over and Hogan had won the title. That pleased me to no end, but I was still upset that Bret had lost.

    King of the Ring, June 1993: Hulk Hogan loses the WWF Championship to Yokozuna
    Just over two months after WrestleMania IX, Yokozuna got his rematch with Hogan for the championship. Yoko came into this match looking like he had added even more weight to his massive frame. He was close to 600 pounds, whereas Hogan seemed to have dropped weight. This was the smallest that I had ever seen "The Hulkster" up to that point, as he no doubt had dropped well under the 300-pound mark. He would be on the defensive for most of the night, as Yokozuna was hell-bent on regaining the title. But finally, Hogan seemed to gain momentum and looked to be on his way to a possible victory. As this was happening, one of the many photographers around the ring appeared to get into a scuffle with Hogan's manager, Jimmy Hart. As Hogan noticed that the photographer had jumped up onto the ring apron, he approached him. All of a sudden, the photographer's camera shot a fireball into Hogan's face. Yokozuna floored Hogan and nailed a big legdrop on the blinded champion. Three seconds later, and we had a new WWF Champion. I would be further upset when the sumo drug Hogan to the corner of the ring and squashed him with a massive Banzai Drop after the match. Upset as I was, did many of us know that this would be the last time we'd see Hulk Hogan in the WWF until 2002?

    Royal Rumble, January 1994: Yokozuna defeats The Undertaker in a Casket Match to retain the WWF ChampionshipBy this time, Yokozuna had been the WWF Champion for seven LONG months. But a new challenge had emerged, and that challenge was The Undertaker. I thought for sure that the almost-superhuman Undertaker would be too much for the evil sumo. Add that to the fact that this was The Undertaker's specialty match--the Casket Match--and I had my heart set on seeing a new WWF Champion at the end of the night. And it looked as if that was going to happen. I recall Yokozuna showing in the months leading up to the match that he was certainly afraid of "The Deadman." Just as it looked like the near-600 pounder had met his match, he was bailed out--by what seemed like all of the heels on the WWF roster. They helped Yoko get the 'Taker into the casket and win the match. As they were rolling the casket back down the aisle, what appeared to be a shot of The Undertaker lying inside the casket appeared on the big screen. He gave a cryptic message, saying that he would NOT "rest in peace." An effigy of him then appeared to rise up on the screen until it was out of sight, and his silhouette then appeared above the screen. I thought it was kind of cool at the time, but was still upset that he'd lost the match. More bad news was that he wouldn't return until seven months later at SummerSlam. But the worst news of all was that Yokozuna was still the WWF Champion.

    WrestleMania X, March 1994: Bret Hart loses to his younger brother Owen
    In the opening match of WrestleMania X, Bret "Hitman" Hart took on his younger brother Owen in what was a classic match. Owen, who had turned on Bret at the Royal Rumble in January, was determined to show the world that he could defeat his older brother. Bret came into the match knowing that he would wrestle twice that night, as he had won the Royal Rumble match back in January and would face the winner of the Lex Luger/Yokozuna match later on in the night for the WWF Championship(for those who remember, Bret and Lex Luger both hit the arena floor at the same time at the conclusion of the Royal Rumble match, hence they both received WWF Championship Matches at WrestleMania X). Nonetheless, Bret was his usual masterful self, and it seemed to me like he was well on his way to putting his bitter younger brother in his place. But late in the match, Bret tried to execute a Victory Roll while he was sitting atop Owen's shoulders. As Bret fell forward, Owen was able to trap him on his shoulders without rolling through, and Bret was unable to kick out before the count of three. Owen had beaten his older brother, and many of us were in shock. I was quite unhappy, as I never really liked Owen Hart(all due respect to the dearly departed of course). Of course everything was right in the world by the end of the night though, as Bret ended up defeating Yokozuna in the main event for the WWF Championship. He and Owen would go on to have many great battles, including their Steel Cage Match for the title at SummerSlam later that year.

    Survivor Series, November 1994: Bret Hart loses the WWF Championship to Bob Backlund
    Now this was something that I thought was absolutely ridiculous. Backlund had recently made a comeback, and had targeted Bret Hart and the WWF Championship. They would meet at the Survivor Series, and Backlund had vowed to cripple and defeat Bret with his Crossface Chicken Wing submission maneuver. Backlund also had the support of Bret's still-bitter younger brother, Owen, who came to ringside for the match. Helen Hart, Bret and Owen's mother, was there as well, and as much as she hated to have to choose between two of her sons, she was standing behind Bret. Knowing that his mother was a compassionate woman, Owen decided to pray on that at the key point in the match. Backlund had locked Bret in his Crossface Chicken Wing, and Bret would not submit. It was a well-known fact that the maneuver could cause serious damage if cinched in for too long. With Bret in agony, Owen was in his mother's ear, telling her to "throw in the towel" so the match would end and Bret would be okay. Finally, a distraught Helen did just that--and Bob Backlund was declared the new WWF Champion. Not only was I disappointed by this, I was sickened that Bob Backlund, yes BOB BACKLUND, was the WWF Champion. Of course, it was humorous when Backlund was squashed for the title just three days later in Madison Square Garden by Diesel. But that still doesn't excuse the travesty that occured at Survivor Series.

    Well, those were the times where I really "Lost My Smile." I still lose it occasionally, but it's hard to be that into things with the major existence of spoilers and rumors these days. Nothing is ever quite as fun as when we were children though, I suppose.

    TAPPING OUT

    Well, that's gonna do it for my main-page debut. I really appreciate the opportunity to showcase my work on the top-flight vehicle that is LoP, and I hope to return to the main-page sometime soon. Again, thanks alot to all of those people who voted for me, and I hope they, as well as everyone else, enjoyed this. I had a lot of fun writing it, that's for sure. You can leave me feedback by e-mailing me at dsp_81@hotmail.com. Any and all feedback is appreciated. So, until next time, take care of yourselves.

    Devin Payne/Cavalou22
    dsp_81@hotmail.com




    EXCLUSIVES: Top 10 Trish Stratus Moments, Top 10 WCW Cruiserweight Matches, MORE!

  • Quick Links -
    [Back to LOP] [News Archives] [Results] [Columns] [Forums]