The Smackdown! Report (7/22/04)
Submitted by Chad Matthews on Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 10:29 PM EST





The Smackdown Report (7/22/04)

A recap aired of last week’s events, specifically the steel cage match and Kurt Angle’s shocking revelation that he was not crippled.

The show opened with the Smackdown General Manager Kurt Angle being pushed down the aisle in his wheelchair by Luther Reigns. Kurt used the aide of a crutch to get into the ring as Michael Cole called him a fraud. Angle then grabbed a mic and proceeded to deny the accusations of him being a liar or a con artist. He said that he was an incredible man capable of incredible things and that last week (CMV1 note- when he dressed up like El Gran Luchadore and cost Eddie the cage match and the WWE Title…in case you missed it) was just an example of that. The former Olympic Gold Medalist reminded us how he won his gold medals with a broken freakin’ neck and said that last week he was just setting aside his own personal well-being for the greater good of SD. He said he does believe in miracles and that last week was a situation in which he risked further knee damage and possible paralysis, but that it was worth preventing Eddie Guerrero from winning the title. He continued by saying that last week’s trickery was just him maintaining Kurt Angle’s Smackdown: a place where men are rewarded for morality, a place where guys like John Cena are stripped of the US title, and a place where Eddie is obsolete. Our Olympic Hero actually thought that Eddie Guerrero should be fired, but in all fairness, he was going to give Eddie a chance to come out to the ring tonight and beg to keep his job, but that the begging would have to be sincere. Kurt then brought Smackdown ring announcer Tony Chimmel (whose from Philadelphia, site of tonight’s show) into the ring. Angle said that one of the things that he remembers best about his last match (against Eddie at WM XX) was how Chimmel had announced Eddie Guerrero as the winner with a big smile on his face. He told Chimmel that Eddie might have been announced as the winner on that night, but that he had cheated, and since no cheater is ever a winner, that makes Chimmel a liar. With that, he ordered Chimmel to beg for forgiveness and his job. Chimmel got on his knees and begged, but Angle fired him anyway. (CMV1 note- well, you can pretty much tell that the end of Angle’s run as GM is close at hand…Good opening segment that continued to put over Angle as the “drunk with power” authority figure, which will obviously lead to his being fired eventually).

Michael Cole and Tazz hyped the John Cena vs. Luther Reigns match scheduled for later tonight, in addition to JBL’s “Rocky Challenge,” in honor of fictional sports hero Rocky Balboa (whose story was based in Philadelphia).

Match 1: Chavo Guerrero vs. Spike Dudley vs. Jamie Noble in a triple threat match to determine the #1 Contender for the Cruiserweight title
-(CMV1 note- Josh Matthews took over as the in-ring announcer. Michael Cole talked about Spike and Rey Mysterio becoming good friends in recent months). This match was pretty good, but there weren’t any highflying cruisers involved to make this match stand out. The match started off with the heels double-teaming Spike. At one point, Spike Irish-whipped Chavo into a suicide dive to the outside onto Noble. Spike then took both men out with a dive off the top rope to the outside. The finish saw Spike defeat Chavo via pinfall with the Dudley Dog at 5:39.

A quick recap aired of Smackdown!’s tour of Japan from over the weekend.

Backstage, Dawn Marie, Miss Jackie, Sable, and Torrie Wilson were in Angle’s office complaining about being misused since he became the GM (CMV1- they’ve been used too much if ask me…what do any of them bring to the table besides the obvious?). Angle unfortunately agreed with them and proceeded to book all four in a Fatal-Four-way Lingerie Match. They didn’t look very happy to be booked in another T&A match.

Match 2: Billy Kidman vs. Bubba Ray Dudley
-Each man’s tag team partner was at ringside and at one point, D’von pushed Kidman off the top rope. The finish saw Bubba capitalize on D’von’s interference by hitting Kidman with his finisher and getting the win. Bubba Ray Dudley defeated Billy Kidman via pinfall following the Bubba Bomb at 3:46.

In Angle’s office, Funaki did an interview with Kurt Angle and Booker T. Funaki asked a question, but Angle quickly turned his attention toward Booker T, and told the five-time WCW Champion that once it had been cleared by the Board of Directors, he would name the Bookerman the new US Champion. Unfortunately, he did not expect a final decision to come until next week, but foreseeing no problems, Kurt went ahead and presented Booker T the US title belt. Angle turned his attention back toward Funaki when the “Numba One Announca” said that Book getting handed the belt was unfair. Kurt said that Funaki is an insult in that he can’t even speak English. He then ordered him to say “broadcast analyst.” When Funaki only managed “broad chest,” the GM continued his power trip by firing him.

Backstage, the Dudley saga continued as Bubba and D’von approached Spike and congratulated him for attaining the #1 contendership for the Cruiserweight title. They said the whole family had title shots next week, as not only will the CW title be defended, but Kidman and London will put the Tag titles on the line against the Dudley Boyz, as well. Spike looked as if he did not care and said he didn’t want anything to do with his brothers. Bubba and D’von then made Spike a deal that they wouldn’t interfere in Spike’s match with Mysterio next week if he didn’t interfere in D’von’s match later on. The littlest Dudley quickly agreed, but looked distressed when they told him that D’von was wrestling Spike’s good buddy Mysterio.

Next up, the WWE Champion John Bradshaw Layfield came down to the ring and cut a promo on the city of Philadelphia. During JBL’s entrance, they showed clips of him visiting the Philadelphia stock exchange. Layfield said that since their sports teams just did not cut it and couldn’t win championships (making reference to three of their major clubs in the 76ers, Flyers, and Eagles, but not the Phillies), he was honored to be Philadelphia’s champion. He said that the one thing he always loved about Philli was the fighting spirit of Rocky Balboa. Then, much like Apollo Creed gave the Italian Stallion a chance to win the gold, JBL gave a “local guy” the opportunity of a lifetime. Basically, he said if the guy could pull off a miracle and beat him, then he’d get a shot at the WWE title at Summerslam. Which brought us to…

Match 3: WWE Champion JBL vs. Random guy
-The kid did not get one single bit of offense and it was more or less a quick display of JBL’s finishing moves. JBL quickly won the match at around 1:35. After the match, Layfield once again grabbed a mic and talked about how he guessed he did not have a match at Summerslam since there was no one out there worthy of a shot. Then the lights went out and the Undertaker’s music hit. The Deadman slowly made his way to the ring, as JBL looked like a deer in the headlights. Bradshaw looked hilariously terrified and proceeded to change his mind about not having a match at Summerslam, saying that he did indeed have a match…against Shannon Moore! Yes, he had already decided to put the title on the line against Moore, in hopes that the buy rates would skyrocket due to all the young females who would order the PPV. Taker continued to just stand there and let Layfield talk (or at least try to…he did a nice job of acting absolutely scared out of his mind…he stuttered and stammered throughout), even when the champ demanded that the Deadman leave the ring. JBL said that he was going to count to three and if Taker had not left by then, he would be on him like white on rice. 1…Taker didn’t budge…2…Taker didn’t budge…2 ½…Taker still didn’t budge and JBL looked apprehensive. Layfield then changed his mind and decided that he would leave instead, but not before taking a cheap shot at the Deadman. Unfortunately for the champ, Taker countered and chokeslammed him. He then picked up the mic and simply said, “You, Me, Summerslam.” (CMV1- Well, the JBL-Taker feuds kicks off with some entertaining TV. I thought this segment was well done and Bradshaw delivered two more solid promos, including some very amusing lines directed at the Undertaker. The only bad thing is that we now have to just hope and pray that the Undertaker is extremely motivated on August 15, because otherwise the match between these two has train wreck written all over it. At least it’s a fresh feud over the WWE title, as the last three months or so have been dominated by only a single feud).

A new hype video for John Heindenrich (narrated by Paul Heyman) aired.

Match 4: Dawn Marie, Torrie, Sable, and Miss Jackie in a 4-way Lingerie match
-(CMV1 note- YAWN). Well, just as the match looked to get under way, Angle saved us from anymore boredom involving these four when he stopped the match. He went on to basically say that he did not care whether or not they considered themselves underutilized, because he thought they were totally useless. He then proceeded to fire them all and leave, while they stood in the ring and pouted. (CMV1 note- if only wrestling was real and they had all really gotten fired, at least from in-ring competition. Now don’t get me wrong…these women are beautiful and I like looking at them, but none of them bring a thing to a wrestling show).

Match 5: D’von Dudley vs. Rey Mysterio
-Early in the match, D’von hit an impressive tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. After some basic big man vs. small man action, Rey hit a springboard moonsault into a reverse DDT. The climax of the match saw D’von attempt to powerbomb Mysterio to the floor from the ring apron, but Rey countered and used a hurricarana to send them both back into the ring. Bubba Ray then interfered during Rey’s attempt at a 619, but was then jumped by London and Kidman, who then pushed D’von off the top rope just as the Dudley had done to him earlier. The finish came when Mysterio pinned D’von via pinfall following a 619 and a springboard splash at 4:28.

The RAW Rebound aired.

A recap aired from the ending of the Mysterio-D’von match from moments ago.

Cole and Tazz hyped next week’s two title matches: WWE Tag Team Champions Billy Kidman and Paul London vs. The Dudley Boyz, plus WWE Cruiserweight Champion Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Spike Dudley.

Match 6: John Cena vs. Luther Reigns
-The Doctor of Thuganomics gave some little kid two yellow balloon looking things with “Word Life” written on them. He cut a rap before the match, attributing Kurt’s anger issues to his wife cheating on him with AA batteries, and then making some gay jokes about Angle and Luther. (CMV1 note- Cena came down to the ring sporting a Jerome Brown Philadelphia Eagles jersey). There was nothing much of note in this one. Cena hit the Five-Knuckle Shuffle for a near fall, but then Luther pushed Cena into the ref. Booker T then tried to interfere and swung the US title belt straight at Cena. However, Cena ducked and Book hit Luther, allowing Cena to defeat Luther via pinfall at 4:49.

Kurt Angle then made his way to the ring once again, this time ordering Eddie Guerrero to come to the ring and apologize. Just after Angle said that you “don’t cross the boss,” none other than Vincent Kennedy McMahon’s music hit and he did his unique strut down to the ring. Vince got on the mic and proceeded to say that judging by the number of employees that Angle had fired tonight, it looked like the GM was certainly enjoying himself. He said in addition to going on a power trip, Kurt had also managed to fool a lot of people about his health, including the WWE fans, his fellow Smackdown superstars, the Board of Directors, and even Vincent Kennedy McMahon himself. He said as the saying goes, “You don’t fool with Mother Nature.” However, as several people have come to find out during the course of their careers, it is career suicide to “fool with Mr. McMahon.” Vince then asked for Angle’s resignation as Smackdown GM, but the former Olympic Gold Medalist instead got down on his one “good knee” and begged McMahon to let him keep his job. Angle said that his job as GM was the only thing he had left since he is a cripple and can no longer wrestle. Rather than give into Kurt’s pleas, Vince talked about how he had been hoping to receive a Humanitarian award for hiring a wheelchair-ridden man to be the general manager of one of his shows, but since Angle’s not really a cripple, the plan was shot all to hell. He then looked Kurt in the face and told him, “Kurt Angle…you’re FIRED!” Vince then grabbed Angle’s crutch and swung it at the former GM. Angle instinctively ran out of the way to avoid the crutch shot, proving that he was indeed, not handicapped. Vince then re-instated Angle to the active Smackdown wrestling roster and announced that at Summerslam, Kurt would square off against Eddie Guerrero in a Wrestlemania re-match. Then Eddie’s music hit and he made his way to the ring in a low-rider, while Vince danced on the ring-apron. The show faded to black with Mr. McMahon and Eddie Guerrero bouncing to the hydraulics in Eddie’s ride, as Angle looked perplexed at what had just taken place.


All in all…Even though there wasn’t that much in the way of wrestling, I enjoyed this show due to there being some good storyline building for Summerslam. With RAW just kind of treading water heading toward the biggest PPV of the summer, it was nice to see that Smackdown has some good direction heading toward the August 15 event. Thus far, we pretty much can assume that Booker T vs. John Cena will be booked in addition to JBL-Taker and Eddie vs. Angle…Having Vince on the show tonight really made SD feel like it was a more important show than it had been made out to be in recent months. Angle back as an in-ring talent will also help with that…It will be interesting to see who they name as the next GM…Next week’s show was pretty well built, too, as we are finally going to see a tag team title match with some hype and advanced billing behind it…Smackdown has really started to deliver some consistently solid shows of late and I am very much looking forward to seeing what happens with all three of their top feuds next week.






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