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Submitted by Dumass on Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 12:21 AM EST
________________ The WWE will be pleased to see that on the New York Times Best Sellers list that comes out on 7/25/04, "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair's new autobiography "To Be the Man" will appear at No. 5 on it's second week of release. Oh no. The living dead now has a NY bestselling book. For as much as I want to know about Ric Flair, I don't want to buy his book. I have the Ultmate Ric Flair DVD which has over 10 hours of footage and several ***** matches (shill!), but I don't care for Ric's personal life, if he talks about it. That was something I really hated about Austin's book; it was all personal stuff and no real answers to the questions about his career. Steve didn't really give an answer to whether he liked Bret Hart or what he felt really about the Owen neck-break or anything. It was full of "Well....I didn't really care about [insert subject here] which got really annoying because that was the reason why I wanted to read the book in the first place. Hopefully Flair's isn't like that, but it wouldn't matter since the WWE probably will make a priced-to-own DVD telling all of us the exact same things that the book said, along with pictures and video so the ADD morons out there won't have to be bored for long. I'll probably get the book as a throwaway buy, since my bookstore likes doing 2 for 1 deals on anything in the store, so I'm pretty safe on that reguard. As I have urged everyone, don't buy the Austin 'Stone Cold Truth' DVD since it's really not worth it; that is unless you want to see his truck and his dog a lot. Bret Hart was said to be furious with many comments in Ric Flair's autobiography. Like Mick Foley, he was not the biggest fan of Flair's writing and is already gearing to write a column about his feelings. Hart was especially angry with Flair's comments about Mick Foley and Randy Savage, not to mention what Flair said about "The Hitman" himself. I'm debating on writing a column on the differences and similarities of Ric Flair and Bret Hart. I read Bret's statement against Ric's comments and I'll say he sounds pretty upset about nothing really. There are some things that were wrong with Bret's statement, like how Ric couldn't get anyone over or how his selling ability was subpar or his penis size was like 2 inches in cold water and all this crap. Personally, I couldn't care less about this whole "My dick is better than your dick" thing that all the wrestlers seem to have right now; but damnit; this shit is what being a internet columnist is all about. If his own words are true, Chavo Guerrero Classic was drugged and kidnapped on the days of the house shows that led to his release from WWE. By now, everyone knows the story: Chavo was fired for missing two shows without calling in to explain. Original reports stated that he took the firing in stride and accepted it. However, the latest word is that Classic actually claimed to management that he was "drugged and kidnapped." Very few believe this story, especially since Eddie and Chavo Jr. did not fight for Classic's job. Many also contest Classic's claim that he had rejected various storylines proposed by management while still with the company. If I remember correctly, the last person who was "drugged and kidnapped" on WWE TV was Stephinie McMahon and that was so she could get married to Triple H. ................ OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! TRIPLE H IS GOING TO MARRY CHAVO SR.!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is some talk that Bret Hart will be meeting with Shane McMahon to discuss a possible Bret Hart DVD. Bret intends to negotiate a deal that allows him to release footage of his career on a DVD backed by WWE. He has met with Vince several times on this issue. As for an update on Bret's return, it still seems inevitable to most backstage, although nothing is confirmed. Most also question whether Bret's anger with Flair's book might become a hindrance in potential negotiations. All I hope for is that the DVD will be as good as the Ric Flair one. If there is anyone from the WWF that deserves to have a 3 disc set, it's Bret Hart. In a rather unsurprising move, WWE officially released Rikishi yesterday. Most believed WWE would either release Rikishi, or at the very least, watch his contract run out. Apparently, they went with the former. Although Rikishi was recently cleared to return from injury, there was a feeling amongst management that Rikishi did not work to quickly return from his ankle injury due to the fact that he had a high downside guarantee. He also got into heat for working an indy show without clearance. A final issue was Rikishi's apparent refusal to lose weight for a new gimmick. No....it wasn't that surpirsing. I remember when Rikishi was a nice slender 200 lbs. He wasn't that bad. I don't know what happened, but all this shows is that the WWE will fire you if you refuse to lose weight. What I want to know is what would be the gimmick they wanted to give Rikishi that he would have to lose weight? Oh wait....I got it. They wanted to bring back the Buddy Rose Blow-Away Diet to catch up on the new Atkins/Low Carb diet crap that's going on. WWE: Keeping Up With The Times. Both Rodney Mack and Mike Bucci (Nova) are set to hit to the main WWE roster shortly. Bucci received praise for his work on the RAW tour and Rodney Mack has been training in OVW to gear up for his return. I still say that they should get rid off Rodney Mack. They've done everything to get this guy over; cripple Al Snow, be part of a bad tag team, team him with his wife.....hell, Teddy Long was helpless to get him over; and Teddy Long was the mastermind for getting Ron Simmons and Butch Reed over in WCW. Nova may be a good addition, but, like everything, it all depends on how he will be used. The guy was terrific in ECW, so hopefully he'll be able to go after more than a jobber postition on Raw. Kurt Angle continues to develop heat backstage at SmackDown. Wrestlers believe he worked management and his peers by claiming that he was too injured to wrestle these past few months, but can now suddenly come back for Summerslam without the surgery he once claimed necessary. The thought-process is that he skipped out on the worst period for house show payoffs and now is returning for a big Summerslam check. Additionally, he has been showing some ego in recent discussions, pitching an idea for his character to become an unbeatable heel. ATTENTION SMACKDOWN ROSTER: If it weren't for Kurt Angle being around, you'd be getting beat in the ratings by 'Snoring With Herny' on The Sleep Channel, CH. 235 on DirecTV. Quit yer bitchin'. The following is an excerpt from JBL's column on WWE.com: This is what is wrong with some of our media, they hide behind a typewriter and write whatever without being accurate, yet when called on the carpet, because they are wrong, they run and hide. Wait a minute sounds like some of our Internet “reporters.” No wait, those guys aren’t important enough to be on a talk show. OK, now you guys are mad at me again because I told the truth. Please remember, I’m not talking about our average fan, just you few guys who think you are “reporters” but never have any facts. Who are these "reporters"? Is he talking about the guys who actually report wrestling news? If so, I think that their actually doing a better job than they used to. They all went from a bunch of Matt Boones with their fingers in their asses (not that Matt Boone still doesn't do that, the fucking moron) to actual reporting newspeople. If Bradshaw is talking about guys like Scherare and Meltzer, then Bradshaw needs to get his head out of his ass and realize that those guys are still making some of us continue to watch. Now, if Bradshaw is stupid enough to refer to internet columnists as "reporters", then he's the biggest fucking moron I've ever known. Newsflash; we columnists are not new sources. We write opinions and if your opinion doesn't favor with us, you can fuck yourself! It's not that hard to comprehend; even for a dumb as dirt Texan like Bradshaw. But maybe there are people out there that want to support what Bradshaw has to say. Hell, I'll even give them a link to support what the wise and intellegent Bradshaw has to say to us lowly and horrible columnist or "reporters".  Click here to support Bradshaw. _________________ That's all this week. I'm debating on quiting the column writing gig since there are major things going on with my family that I need to start paying attention to. I'm going to try an experiment and see if it works out. It'll be up next week. Thanks for reading my column. Be sure to check out Phantom Lord's Rant of the Week on the main page of LOP. This week, Valleyboy and Phantom do the same thing I do, but make it much much more funnier. It's good times had by all. Til next time, This is Dumass pondering "Would it be wrong to kill someone if they ask to be killed?" AIM: Dumass4k Lethal Wrestling: The One Webiste......TO RULE THEM ALL!!!!!!!! *NEW GALLERY* Amazing! The VERY RARE & Revealing Kelly Kelly BEACH PHOTOSHOOT!!!
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