The Rant of the Week: Phantom Lord vs. Matt Hardy V1
    Submitted by Phantom Lord on Saturday, July 10, 2004 at 10:19 PM EST



    Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain, it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow Phantom Lord and this is my Rant of the Week. I didn’t know if I was going to be writing a column this week because quite honestly I didn’t feel like writing. DirecTV just took NWA-TNA PPV’s off for the time being due to InDemand not renewing the deal with them. In the WWE, RAW was literally run by a retard and I’ll get to that in due time. Smackdown was pretty good for the first time in a while (JBL Owns and you know it). And on NWA-TNA Impact I missed most of the show, but caught the end to see Petey Williams nail The Canadian Destroyer to win his match against Chris Sabin and A.J. Styles. If you’ve never seen The Canadian Destroyer, you should order TNA PPV’s or watch impact just to see it. It’s possibly the greatest finisher ever. But even with all of that in mind, I still had nothing to really write about. Sure Fact or Fiction with The Stro hopefully should be up by Monday depending on when people send me their damn answers, but as for this column I didn’t really feel like writing anything.

    Earlier this week I damn near killed myself to finish the results to PWA Schizophrenia Live from Belfast, Northern Ireland…so needless to say I was tapped creatively. That is until I came across this gem thanks to someone posting it in Scott Keith’s Live Journal. It’s Matt Hardy’s latest column and old Matt decided he would jump on the Fuck the Internet bandwagon. He didn’t exactly say that, but he might as well have. We know JBL is no fan of the Internet. He has every right not to like the Internet just like the people who bash him have every right to say he’s a worthless piece of shit who only got the title because Vince sees JBL as a younger version of himself (Which probably is true…but I won’t hold that against him).

    But does Matt have a point? Are we on the Internet to negative for our own good? The vast majority of us…I would say yes. I make it no secret that I am a bitter individual. Suffering from depression from years of torment from the kids in school will do that to a person. But when I write I always try to see both sides of the issue. Sure I can be heavily biased, but for as much bad as I see in wrestling I always find some good and I will praise it. So someone asked me, would Vengeance be worth ordering this weekend? My answer to him and all of my readers is HELL NO. I mean with the exception of Benoit vs. Triple H and Orton vs. Edge there is nothing really worth seeing because the whole card is cookie cutter at best.

    But Matt Hardy is taking on Kane this weekend in a NO DQ Match and since we on the net know Matt’s gonna need his knee scoped, It’s fair to say Kane is going to win that match since Matt stands about as much chance as Zach Gowen in a ass kicking contest. So I figured I would do a little fantasy booking of my own. No, none of that how I would book this match crap. It’s going to be a good old fashion shootout of the minds as I respond to Matt Hardy’s column on his WWE Website. Now you can read the column yourself here on his site…but for the lazy among us I copy and pasted the part of the column that deals with the net. So much like Bill O’Reily vs. ‘The Ragin Cajun’ James Carville I give to you…

    PHANTOM LORD VS. MATT HARDT VERSION 1: MANO E MANO
    Here’s Matt’s opening statement…
    I enjoy the Internet, but I’m not a fan of constant negativity when it comes to our business. I’m aware of the fact that the Internet wrestling community is slightly influential in the progression of the wrestling business. That’s cool by me -- it could and should help the business expand and get better. You would think anyone in the business or a fan of the business would do their best to build upon the positives. My biggest gripe is the negativity the Internet is breeding due to people being desensitized and one-dimensional when it comes to our product. I want the "wrestling negativity snowball" to stop, or at least slow down for the good of the entire sports-entertainment business. Too many people read someone’s opinion on the Internet and take it as factual information. It’s way too often that the majority of the Internet wrestling community takes a writer’s view and lazily allows that to become their view. My challenge to all of you is to question opinions. Don’t take opinions as facts; don’t even take them as good opinions. Come to your own conclusions. If you find something enjoyable that others don’t, that doesn’t mean you’re wrong in liking it.

    And my rebuttal…
    For the most part the Internet is to negative, but guess what. We have a right to be negative. The vast majority of us support you by ordering the ppv’s, watching the television shows, and by coming to see you wrestle live. I’ve been watching Wrestling for the better part of 20 years. With all the money we’ve spent ordering ppv’s or going to shows or getting merchandise here and there…we’ve earned the right to criticize the product. I like to think I give free market research when I write my columns. I represent the real core audience that still watches the shows. But all we are on the net are several people’s opinion. If people chose to listen to us then so be it. But overall we on the internet want people to think. We don’t want them to be helpless sheep who never question what they are seeing.

    Ok this response…rebuttal shit isn’t working. I’ll just italic his paragraphs and offer my response to them.

    A majority of Internet writers are one-dimensional when it comes to their opinions on the wrestling business. The main concern to many who cover or comment about wrestling on the Internet is the in-ring product. If the matches on a show aren’t long enough, aren’t athletic enough, or don’t score high enough on their ratings system, then the show was no good to them. That’s not the case. I’m a huge fan of the in-ring product, but I’ve learned that’s not the only thing our broad fan base cares about. The majority of our fans like wrestling, but they also enjoy the entertainment aspect that only WWE provides. Vince McMahon’s sports-entertainment theory obviously works because we’re the dominant force in the wrestling business that has outlasted every other organization. Quick example: A portion of the Internet writers dislike the current Matt-Lita-Kane saga, but every week it is one of the most-watched segments of the show and gets a ton of feedback and reaction. As of this morning, myself and Kane were the most anticipated match on the show Sunday according to fan votes on WWE.com. Obviously, there is interest in our conflict that has people talking and watching.

    As for In-ring product, we have a right to complain. Explain to me how TNA can fit seven matches into a one hour broadcast when the WWE at times cant even fit three matches into a two hour show. I could really care less about workrate. I’m more interested in the story that is told in the ring. When everything is KICK-PUNCH-KICK-KICK-SPINEBUSTER-PUNCH-PUNCH-FINISHER in a four minute match I think we the viewer have every right to say what the hell is this shit. I can think of a lot of wrestlers…including you who have been reduced to cannon fodder because of the WWE’s slow down style of wrestling. Just because it looked like a good idea in the mid 80’s doesn’t mean it cuts the mustard now. As for the poll on WWE.com, I wouldn’t give much faith to any web poll. Any idiot can throw up a web poll and give favorable results to a question he poses simply because people re-vote over and over and over. I seem to remember a few years ago some guy from Boston used a program to flood the MLB site with something like 48,000 votes for No-Mah so he could get the start at the All Star Game over Derek Jeter. I liked the Kane/Lita saga despite the fact my father saw her being knocked up coming a mile away and this was way before she took an EPT test on live television (Though according to kayfabe…you didn’t see her doing that and we were expected to believe she told you herself assuming your no one told you congratulations before that). It’s little plot holes like that make everyone and me laugh at this. And if this is going to go on for another eight months…you haven’t seen negativity yet.

    Quick example No. 2: A portion of the Internet writers don’t think Lita is that great of a WWE performer or asset to the company. For whatever reasons, they aren’t Lita fans, whether it is her in-ring skills or character or whatever. You’re wrong. She is the most popular and successful woman currently in the wrestling business. Success isn’t measured solely by how great of a wrestler you are. Never has been, never will be. She is talented in so many ways that some people just don’t know and can’t see from the surface. Go to WWEShopZone.com, pull down the Superstars menu, and look how many girls have their own merchandise section. There’s only one, and that’s Lita. Do some research and find out which female has had the most action figures made of them. Look at the number of Lita signs in the crowd every week during RAW. I could give you examples all night. These are the things that ultimately determine how successful and popular you are. Lita attracts people far and wide, and has brought more new fans to the WWE than any other Diva.

    You know, I always like Lita. From the first time I saw her in ECW as Danny Doring’s Valet Ms. Congeniality I always thought she was a bit special. She could take a beating and come back for more. Plus she was pretty hot in those tights she wore back then. Of course implants aside, I always liked her wrestling ability in the WWF/E. I remember one night on RAW she took a rather stiff powerbomb from Eddie Guerrero when he no sold her attempt at a Frankenstiener. I always thought she was the best looking woman in the WWF/E (Who doesn’t love a chick with an exposed thong) and when she broke her neck I was pretty bummed because I knew the women’s division as bad as it was would suffer since she is with out a doubt the most popular women’s wrestler possibly in history. And when she came back it was great and I openly said her match against Molly Holly at The Survivor Series was the best match of the night. But when she went from having above average in ring skills for an American female wrestler to having trouble doing the simplest of moves, as a fan I have every right to say something isn’t right with her. Now I don’t know if it’s the fact she’s afraid that she might hurt her neck which is totally understandable or since the WWE doesn’t expect much from the women in the ring…something in the translation has caused her to lose a few steps.

    As for her merchandise…duh she’s the most popular woman in the company (Well most popular not to do Playboy…but hot damn her last diva’s pics were great). I mean hell some day I will get around to getting her book because I do find her recovery remarkable and outside the ring she seems like she is probably one of the sweetest women in the world. But that said…just because I like her as a wrestler doesn’t mean I won’t hold back and criticize her if I see a reason to.

    Until someone has worked within the sports-entertainment business, they really have no idea how things work and what makes things successful. There are many aspects of the wrestling business that only people on the inside understand. It’s impossible to be on the outside of this business and understand how everything works within it. My main objective is to educate anyone who follows the wrestling business into being open-minded. Don’t be so narrowed-minded that you only see things from one viewpoint. To attempt to understand and fairly view our product, you have to be able to think outside the lines. You have to be able to see the full spectrum, the big picture, not just one point of view.

    Ah when in doubt, say why don’t you try doing this. I have a degree in television production, so I understand the production nature of the show. Hell writing the shows for LOP’s official e-fed drains the hell out of me mentally so I can only imagine the fun of those booking meetings. But with that said, it’s mind numbing to see some of the stuff that comes out of those meetings. I mean take the angle with you, Lita, and Kane. Ok the sum of the plot that we know is The Big Red Machine wanted some loving and Lita fucked Kane to save your ass. Sure it’s border line date rape since odds are she probably wasn’t into it…but that’s another story for another column. But the fun of this angle got sucked out when you had to go purpose to her. Now logic would dictate that you should build towards popping the question, but the moment you said will you marry me those of us watching were counting the seconds till Kane appeared to say guess what…the kid is mine. Of course Lita has the acting ability of Lex Luger during his prime when he had to cut a promo. So when she said it might be yours…that ruined everything. And the chance this was going to be a swerve was ruined when she came out after Kane’s match with Benoit and kicked him in the balls. So what’s left is eight months of her faking a pregnancy (Unless she is really is pregnant in which case I would assume congratulations go out to you). Fill me in just incase I missed any plot details.

    But with all of that said, I don’t see anything from one viewpoint. I see things from all sides of the issue. I never blame the wrestlers. I blame those who give them the material to work with an ultimately Vince McMahon since he is the executive producer and he has to sign off on every last frame to go on television. I know there is a lot to the Wrestling business that I don’t understand, but I would love to learn it since in the words of my high school social studies teacher Mr. Strom “Professional Wrestling is the last legitimate sport left in America”.

    With all this being said, I would love for the Internet to be a place where positively exceeds negativity. I want everyone who follows the sports-entertainment business on the Internet to form their own opinions, not copy someone else’s. If you don’t like something you see on our show, don’t say "it sucks," or "that was terrible." Offer a suggestion to make it better. Criticize in a positive way, not a lazy, negative way. If something’s good, say it’s good. Remember that everyone who steps into a WWE ring is a human being that gets hurt and is wrestling an incredibly heavy schedule. We strive to entertain you, but don’t desensitize yourself to the risk we take night in and night out.

    I never ask anyone to think like me, if they do then more power to them. But why is it I get e-mail after e-mail saying thank you Phantom…I’ve always thought the same thing. Now don’t give me that shit about why don’t you offer a suggestion to make it better. What do you think we on the internet do with our columns. Sure a part of me writes just because I enjoy getting a rise out of people, but when it comes down to it I’m taking time to write a three or in this case four page column on what is wrong and how it can be fixed. I can say this much, the WWE could save millions in market research just simply by clicking onto Lords of Pain or any other wrestling website with an opinion section because like I said, we represent that core audience that will never leave. It doesn’t matter how bad the show gets…we’ll still watch it because we are fans at heart.

    If you disagree with everything I’ve said and you think you know everything there is to know about the wrestling business, I have a challenge for you. If you have all the right answers of what would make a wrestling company successful, start your own company. With your superior knowledge of the wrestling business, your promotion should be competing with WWE in no time. Put your money where your mouth is. And before you say that suggestion is ridiculous, I did it before I even knew how the business really worked. I started and ran the small OMEGA promotion before I worked with WWE. I’m sure I would have an organization of my own right now if I didn’t work for the McMahon’s.

    Oh sure it’s just that simple isn’t it. Scrap up a few hundred thousand for a promotion, writers, production teams, lighting guys, ring crews, and wrestlers. Seems simple enough. Oh yeah I forgot I need a promoters license before I can do any of that. Well since I don’t personally have that kind of capital unless I get 5 numbers instead of 4 on the next Mega Millions or New York Lotto drawing I don’t think I’ll be opening my own company anytime soon. Sure I could do it, but you need money before you do anything. It’s all fun about knowing how the business works, but lets be realistic. It’s all about money and when the WWF/E lost $700 Million Dollars of it’s total stock value, I think anyone who watched the product or had money invested had a right to be concerned over the direction of the company. But in all honesty it is ridiculous to say why don’t we start our own company. I mean your OMEGA promotion ran out of High School Gyms. Even the biggest indy company’s run out of small theaters. It would take someone like Ted Turner’s money to try and compete with the WWE on the scale they run.

    BTW, for the event planners in the WWE you might want to start booking in smaller venues. 2,000 people in a 3,000 seat venue is much better then 2,000 in a 10,000 seat arena…just ask the lighting crew from WCW who had to make 1,500 people at times look like 20,000. As it stands right now, I think NWA-TNA has the best chance to be a direct competitor for the WWE. As it is their FSN Show Impact is drawing the same ratings as Velocity and Heat and they don’t get nearly the amount of promotion those shows get. Ring of Honor could do very well in the ECW role if they had an investor who had the money to get them on syndicated television because as it is they sometimes draw just as big of a crowd as the WWE does for their shows on word of mouth on the internet alone. So there are plenty of companies out there to take on the WWE. It’s just a matter of them getting the exposure to do so.

    Is everything about the WWE product absolutely perfect? No. I’ll go on record and say that. Is the WWE product good? Absolutely. Despite people’s criticisms, WWE is a hugely successful and profitable organization. The WWE Superstars are recognized worldwide, our events are watched throughout the world, and WWE is the biggest and best promotion of all time. Work with us, not against us, and the entire wrestling business and landscape will benefit from it.

    Well at least you will admit that the product is not perfect. Sure the WWE is successful because they are the biggest company around. Doing 200 shows in North America, Europe, and Asia will make anyone successful. Is the WWE the best promotion of all time? That’s up for debate. During the mid 80’s Jim Crockett and his NWA sure as hell gave the WWF a run for their money and during the mid 90’s when the WWF still had wacky gimmicks, WCW was running laps around them with the N.W.O and Crusierweight’s who would bust their ass to start the show so when it came time for the big dogs the crowd was primed and ready. I’m pretty sure over in Japan, companies like N.J.P.W, A.J.P.W, Pro Wrestling NOAH, NWA-ZERO ONE, and others would take offense to you saying the WWE is the best promotion of all time. I’ll give credit where credit is due. Vince McMahon is probably the best promoter in all of sports next to Don King. If you want glory you can go to Japan…but if you want money and fame you go to Vince.

    I try to work with you and not against you. I simply offer my opinions to better the product because I don’t want to see the WWE sink like the Titanic much like WCW did. The problem with the WWE is they need to start accept criticism and realize that just because they say things are good doesn’t mean it is.

    Well Matt I must say that what a rather enjoyable debate to be had and I welcome your response. If someone knows Matt, print this column…e-mail it…tell him…I don’t care. I would love to read Matt’s response to me after my point…counter point with his own column from his WWE website. I know the WWE shuns talking to internet website’s, but it isn’t to hard to send me an e-mail. I’m not a hard person to find when I’m online.

    Damn that column was long today, but before I go let me get in some random thoughts. Despite his lack of talent…I loved the promo that Kenzo Suzuki cut on Smackdown this week. That half-assed smile when he said God Bless All American’s was great. You could build a pretty good feud between him and Cena since Cena represents the typical American that the rest of the world really hates. But the money is on Cena vs. Angle at Summer Slam when Kurt Angle will show us how he is the true Messiah of Wrestling as he will be healed of his injuries. Why he would be taking on Eddie Guerrero is mind numbing. They are building toward him vs. Cena. If you push it right it could be a big money match provided John Cena can make it through the match with out having to repeat his Five moves of DOOM.

    JBL was great once again this week. The hand sanitizer gimmick is great. I still see him pulling a Honky Tonk Man and saying the hell with being so damn nice to the fans. Being nice never got anyone anywhere. I liked his match with El Gran Luchador. You know the rubber match between them two could be huge. Seriously it was a great touch to have Eddie come out from under the ring and take the guys place. I think next week we will see a great old school cage match with a lot of blood and when it comes down to it, Eddie’s ego will make him go up to the top for the Frog Splash and he will end up missing it and JBL will set up and take his head off with the Clothesline from Hell for the win. Well he won’t physically take his head off…but you get the point. Who cares if JBL can’t carry anyone to a five star match. He’s doing great with his character and if people give him a chance, maybe he just might be the right heel champion to carry the show as people chase him for the gold. Now I won’t lie, the thought of an Undertaker/JBL feud does scare me since their rumored match at Summer Slam would be the biggest no sell fest in history. But things could be worst…JBL could be going around smashing people over the head with a fake guitar to get himself over.

    So Paul London and Billy Kidman are tag team champions. Unless this results in the rumored feud with them feuding over the rights to the Shooting Star Press I wouldn’t get to excited over it. I don’t see them holding the belts till Summer Slam to face The Dudley’s. But then again it looks like The Dudley’s will be going back to the fun of tormenting Spike Dudley. Spike and them had some fun brawls in ECW over the tag titles and it is amazing to see Spike get the shit kicked out of him and come back for more.

    Well at this point your probably going insane from the sheer amount of text this week. Well I’m done for now. Like I said, Fact or Fiction with Special Guest The Stro should be up sometime around Monday. If you have any comments, feel free to direct them here in My official Live Journal

    I swear that’s if for this week. As always take care and remember someone has to provide you with this information and it damn well has to be me {S Bob Grant

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