The Rant of the Week: Why not just call the ppv Blood Money
Submitted by Phantom Lord on Saturday, June 26, 2004 at 7:29 PM EST



Greetings conversationalist’s all across the fruited plain, it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow Phantom Lord and this is my Rant of the Week. As always I’m coming to you from the Baked Apple that is New York City and damn it was hot today. But as hot as it was above ground, it’s nothing compared to the Subway. I was waiting for the D Train at 42nd Street and Bryant Park and it felt like I was in an oven. I don’t know if it’s the lack of ventilation or if the MTA purposely turns on the heat during the Summer, but it was hot down there. But I guess sweltering heat is a small price to pay to see hot women in tank top’s and shorts. But on the downside as I type this is raining out. Since the Rain blocks the Satellite signal, I figured I might as well write my column. The wrestling God’s have been good to me this week as I have a lot to go off on so to speak and I will get to all of it in a little while.

Today I officially finished School and now I am a Two Time…Two Time…Two Time College Graduate. I have Associates Degree’s in Television Production & Editing and now Web Design and Graphics. When I went to my first college, I had no idea that The Twin Towers would not be over the school when I left. Thankfully nothing on that scale has happened here in New York or anywhere else in America for that matter since then. But you know what’s the real fun of graduating. Seeing the amount of money your going to have to pay back on your Student Loans thanks to Interest. It’s low so that’s like a good thing or something. I really don’t care what it is, all I know is I have 6 months from now until the bills roll in.

But with job prospects being grim, I see the WWE is looking for more members of the creative team. So much so that they finally realized that maybe the angles have been a tad flat. I mean this Sunday on PPV they are advertising a match where someone might die. All indications are that Paul Bearer will be “Killed Off” this Sunday when he is buried alive in Cement. Odds are The Undertaker himself will do the deed, but I have one small problem with this angle. IT’S FUCKING COLD BLOODED MURDER. I know it’s an angle but Jesus H. Christ what the hell is wrong with McMahon and company. First off The Dudley’s kidnapped Paul Bearer and have trafficked him across state lines which means it’s now a Federal Crime. Add to the fact that Paul Heyman has built a crypt that will be filled with Cement with Paul Bearer in it and it becomes First Degree Murder and Murder because of a Kidnapping is punishable by The Death Penalty on the Federal Level. Don’t believe me…check this site out.
This page lists all the Crimes on the Federal Level Punishable by DEATH.

Shock TV is dead, Eh Vince? I think I understand why Vince Russo found God again. I’d probably need my soul purged if I went along with an angle this stupid and immoral. And don’t give me that it’s just entertainment crap. There is nothing entertaining about this. Vince is promoting Murder for the sake of a PPV that looks like it was put together last week. Let’s assume this match with The Undertaker vs. The Dudley’s is on the midcard. How in hell are you supposed to watch a show knowing that in the back of the arena is a glass box and a fat man is buried under several tons of Cement? Well I guess if you can continue a show after Owen Hart plunged 90 feet onto a turnbuckle…you can continue it after anything.

I hope I pissed off some people with that last comment because it’s the truth. This is why Smackdown is in the Toilet. What always pissed me off the most is the WWE is a publicly traded company. Any other company on earth would have called for the collective heads of Vince, Linda, and the rest of the Board of Directors by now. I wish I owned some stock just so I could go to the next investors meeting and go off on them for promoting this bullshit.

Someone sent me some feedback this week asking if The Great American Bash was worth ordering. In a word…Hell No. If I had a Cable Modem, I’d order the web cast just to get all the bonus matches with the card. If McMahon had any decency he’d throw those matches in with the regular PPV as well. With the exception of maybe two good matches, this show isn’t even worth a tenth of what they are charging for it. As I’ve said I love the JBL/Eddie feud…but lets face facts with the exception of this match and Chavo vs. Rey there is no reason to order this PPV. Booking matches with Billy Gunn and Hardcore Holly are sure going to pop those buyrates. I feel sorry for Mordecai in this one. He has the coolest gimmick in the WWE in years and his first PPV test will be against Billy Gunn. Why not just hand him a gun now cause The Curse of Sean O’Haire has more then done its work on Mordecai.

As you can tell I’m in a festive mood this week. Though I am a little pissed that they pulled the trigger on Matt purposing to Lita so quickly. I mean they should really dragged that out and then have Kane say the demon spawn she is carrying is mine. Of course when you read that they are going week to week with no real direction it makes you wonder just how those production meetings are going. See when I write the PWA Shows, I do it with a clear mind. Sure you read them and the back story to them you’d swear I was hitting the bottle a little to hard, but truth be told the only thing I drink when I write is Soda (Which sucks since I have to cut back…damn empty calories). But how you can go ahead with an angle with no end to it is insane. If you were working on a tv show or a soap opera and came up with a story and then turned around and said “Yeah well there is no real ending…we’re just gonna see how long we can milk it since it isn’t to important”…your ass would be fired.

But alas this is the kingdom of McMahon where a lack of planning is not only encouraged but rewarded. At least NWA-TNA attempts to plan things out so that every angle no matter how dumb has some meaning. We watched the 2ND Anniversary show this week and damn it was good. I was highly impressed by Jerry Lynn vs. Scott D’Amore. The build up to the match was how a feud should be and I hope someone from the WWE was watching because they should be taking notes since Team NWA vs. Team Canada is a feud you can build a division around. But back to the match it self. D’Amore impressed the hell out of me before for a guy his size he did some pretty impressive moves. Who didn’t mark out when he hit that moonsalt onto Lynn. I thought the match was great and it told a great story and when Jerry got him up and connected with the Cradle Piledriver it was a great moment. It was also a testament to the toughness of Coach D’Amore since he took that Piledriver on the side of his head. That truly was a cringe worthy moment.

But as much as this feud looked like it was over, after the match Team Canada came out to beat on Lynn and then one by one members of Team NWA came out. This could be the feud of the year. Screw Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels, Team NWA vs. Team Canada has the drama and emotion and great matches worthy of being Feud of the Year. They should continue this feud through the summer and have it culminate with a good old fashion War Games match. Now the question is, has there ever been a Steel Cage match on one of those six-sided rings? Ah well, if they continue this feud we will probably find out.

If TNA really plays their cards right they could have a mega ppv with two huge feuds culminating and the other huge feud is Sabu vs. Raven. Now due to Raven being sick they didn’t get to do the tribute to The Sheik that he wanted to do…but then again knowing TNA hanging a dummy made up to look like The Sheik will probably be sold as the tribute. But again TNA proves that attention to detail is key in a feud when this week they had a wrestler by the name of Mickey Doyle come to the show and he confronted Sabu. According to Mike Tenay, Mickey was the 1971 Rookie of the Year and a wrestler for The Sheik in Detroit. See it’s the small stuff like this that gets an angle and a feud over.

Again I hope the WWE is paying attention. Maybe someone could finally tell them that a few days build for a match and that’s it is hardly a way to build a ppv. But hey, they are the professionals. I mean I’ve only been watching wrestling for about 20 years and they have all these high priced entertainment types who have never watched wrestling who apparently know more about how to do this stuff then I do.

Billionaire Ted…for the love of God break out the checkbook all ready.

I’m not even sure if there is anything left to say that I haven’t said all ready. The Great American Bash is weak Clash of Champions at best. They are building a match around the potential murder of another man. It’s funny when I started writing this column today I wasn’t nearly as angry as I thought I was with the WWE over this Paul Bearer angle. But the more I wrote, the more I got pissed. See you don’t need to spend money on a shrink to vent your built up anger and emotions. Just start writing and soon enough it will get channeled and believe me if they go through with “killing” Paul Bearer tomorrow, I will give new meaning to the term fire breathing dragon next week.

Well with all of that said, I think that’s it. As always take care and remember someone has to provide you with this information and it has to be me {S Bob Grant

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