Raw Results 5-17-2004
Submitted by Steven "Rommel" Schaeffer on Monday, May 17, 2004 at 11:13 PM EST



Steven “Rommel” Schaeffer can be reached via E-Mail and at AIM screen name “Winged Mystery.”

The show begins with the announcers running down tonight’s two big matches. Lita takes on Trish, resulting on the bad joke from last week. Trish tries to taunt Lita to start, but Lita is having none of it. She pounds the former women’s champion, but Trish uses a hand full of hair to gain control. Lita makes a quick comeback, highlighted by the ‘rana. Once more, subtle cheating by the heel female Trish regains the advantage. She sits on the top rope and chokes Lita in the corner twice. A flying clothesline has Lita down, and the momentum is pressed with a swinging neck breaker. The feline kick is countered, but another rear naked choke in the ring’s center maintains control for Trish. Lita escapes in the usual elbows to the stomach method – only to be the recipient of a spine buster and another choke hold. Trish attempts Stratusfaction, but it is turned into a belly to back suplex. Lita hits the… are those the five moves of doom? Lita hits an inverted Twist of Fate, but only for two. As she moves to continue her assault Kane comes onto the Titan Tron, distracting the red head long enough for the blond to roll her up for a cheap victory. Trish defeated Lita via pin fall. Kane apologizes for distracting her, and says he wants an answer tonight.

Randy Orton was introduced, and I think he flipped the audience an eyebrow. He mentioned that he likes to talk about himself. Such as his victories over Mick Foley, Edge, and his reign being the longest in seven years. He promised that tonight Batista and he would defeat Benoit and Edge and he would also be one half of the WWE Tag Champions. Tonight is about Evolution, he continues, about Triple H specifically. He said tonight Triple H would bring the Heavyweight Championship back to Evolution by winning the Battle Royal and beating Chris Benoit at Bad Blood. He says there “Ain’t no stopping Evolution!” which leads into Shelton Benjamin’s entrance. He seems confused at what he heard. He reminds everyone of his victories over Triple H. He says that tonight is about Shelton Benjamin, not Evolution. Randy Orton disputes this, and claims to be better than the All-American. Shelton challenges him to an Intercontinental Championship match. Randy Orton says the “You’re too uppity, that’s problem with you people.” He refuses the challenge. Benjamin attacks, and Flair has to run down to pull Orton from the ring.

The show came back with the tape in the wrong position. Footage of Batista versus Tajiri from last week was shown briefly. Backstage, Orton promised Evolution to deal with Shelton. Batista hyped the Tag Title match, and Hunter hinted at working as a team in the Battle Royal. Somewhere else backstage, Regal was with Eugene. Eric Bishoff approached and took William away. He had a new plan to be rid of the special young man – humiliate him. He promised a plan for later to show him as a laughing stock. Last week, Shawn Michaels was suspended.

Kane entered the ring, having been challenged by Val Venis after the assault last week. You’ve seen squash matches before right? This was one of them. Kane defeated Val Venis via pin fall. After the match, Matt Hardy ran down to attempt to hurt the Big Red Machine. He tried using a chair, but to no avail. Kane choke slams Matt, and ties him up in the corner upside down to straggle him with a camera wire. Then he sticks version 1’s head in a chair and stands on it, choking him until Lita runs down. She gives him the answer, and of course it is “Yes.” Kane whispers into her ear, and leaves.

This week the WWE was at the GOP to encourage people to vote. The big Tag title match was next. The champions entered first, individually. Edge and Orton started the match off, with Edge taking advantage. He tags in Benoit, who slaps and stomps the Intercontinental Champion. Benoit is taken to the heels corner, however, allowing Batista to come in and man-handle the Heavyweight Champ. When Orton comes back in Benoit takes him to his corner, and Edge comes in to work him over. Randy tries a blind rush, but is back body dropped to the outside. Batista comes in, but the tag champs double team him out of the ring as well.

During the commercial, Edge’s shoulder collided with the steel ring post. Orton was already wrenching the shoulder when we came back. Batista came in, and also focused on the injured shoulder of Edge. Orton comes in, and Edge nails him with a maneuver I only saw the later half of. Both men are down briefly, but Edge can’t make the tag before Orton is up. A DDT, however, gives him the second opportunity he needs to reach is partner. Benoit comes in, on fire. A knee to the gut, a snap suplex, and chops fall upon Randy Orton. A spine breaker gets a two count. Chris knocks Batista off the ring apron, and nearly puts Orton in the Sharpshooter before it is broken up. Edge comes in and throws Batista into the corner, and the two champions whip Orton into the big man like a torpedo. Batista quickly recovers, and knocks both champions down. He tries for the power bomb, but it is countered into a cross face attempt. Batista tosses Benoit into the referee to break it up though. Edge and Batista are taken outside, and Benoit goes off on Orton. Three suplexes and he would call for the head butt. Flair throws in one of the belts, and distracts Benoit. Chris flies head first into the belt, and is nearly pinned. It isn’t enough for a three count, and Benoit continues fighting. Flair tries to help Orton, but Edge spears both Orton and him this week. Benoit grabs the cross face on Randy, and he taps. Chris Benoit and Edge retained the Tag Championships over Batista and Randy Orton. Backstage, Regal readies for Eugene for his interview. Regal nearly lets it slip that Uncle Eric is out to get him, but sends him out for his microphone time anyway.

Eugene is announced for his interview segment. Coach comes down, taking over the interview from Grisham. Coach asks him how the big win felt, but doesn’t let him answer. He told Eugene he thought he was brave, winning a match while everyone was laughing at him. He calls him a joke, not a wrestler. Coach runs the special young man down with insults, making him cry. He tells him that “Life Goes On,” and sends him home. Eugene was leaving in tears when suddenly, the Rock’s music hits! He leads a stars truck Eugene back to the ring. There was an explosive promo from the Rock, as always. He claims rightfully that he knows the people, not Coach the walking popcorn fart. He claims that the people like Eugene, and the crowd agrees with a “Eugene” chant. A “Screw the Coach” chant takes over, and Rock wants to be Eugene’s friend. Rock causes a “Popcorn fart” chant to erupt. Coachman, reminds everyone of the Rock’s loss at Wrestlemania. Rock asks Coach if that is what he thinks, and Eugene pipes in with “It doesn’t matter.” He asks who Eugene’s favorite wrestler is, and it is Hunter! Why, because they both like to play games of course. Unfortunately, the only game Hunter plays is hiding the strudel. Rock proposes a new game, kicking the crap out of the Coach. Garrison Cade attacks, but Eugene and the Rock beat the two easily. The Rock was about to hit the People’s Elbow, but then invited Eugene to do it instead.

The Smackdown! Rebound of last week and last night is shown. Hunter, Maven and Chris Jericho enter for the Battle Royal.

We return to catch Shelton Benjamin, Kane, Edge and the remainder of Evolution being introduced for the Battle Royal. The Battle Royal begins and Johnny Nitro is the first one out. Stevie Richards goes next, followed by S.H.I.T. Kane throws his mentor out, but Rosie catches Hurricane mid air and he can reenter.

During the break, Rob Conway was the recipient of Maven’s drop kick and was eliminated. Hunter eliminates Maven and Vale Venis together. Chris Jericho eliminates Sylvain Grenier, and then skins the cat to save himself. Garrison Cade is eliminated next. I hate reporting on Battle Royals so much. Batista eliminated Rhyno, who remembers when he was a star. Hunter and Batista roughly toss the Hurricane out.

Eight men are left now, with half of them being Evolution. Ric Flair put Jericho in the Figure Four, and the announcers speculated there must be a reason for it. Ric Flair is eliminated. Chris Jericho is painfully eliminated. Kane goes on a rampage, with a choke slam for everyone. He and Batista have a battle of the monsters, with Batista getting the better part of it. Edge eliminated a distracted Batista. Orton eliminated Edge who speared everyone in the ring. Four men left, and Orton and Hunter double team Benjamin. They try several times to eliminate him, but he never lets go of the ropes. They Irish whip him, and he runs up the ropes for a corkscrew cross body on both members of Evolution. Great spot! He eliminates Orton, and then beats on Kane who had been laying down in the corner. Hunter grabs him from behind and tosses Shelton out. Hunter was having his way with Kane, when HBK ran in. He attacked Hunter and tossed him out – and Kane was declared the winner! Kane won a Battle Royal.








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