Raw Results 4-26-2004
Submitted by Steven "Rommel" Schaeffer on Monday, April 26, 2004 at 11:13 PM EST



Steven “Rommel” Schaeffer can be reached via E-Mail and at AIM screen name “Winged Mystery.”

As usual we get a recap of what happened last week. The opening music then plays, which is quickly followed by the introduction of Lita and Victoria. It would seem that the female faces have to act peppy and happy with huge smiles. The two pair off against Molly Holly and Gail Kim. Gail hit an extremely innovative submission move, where she jumped up for the head scissors and used the momentum to wrench Victoria’s arm, wrapped around her body while she was still standing. Once again Victoria ripped off Molly’s wig. Lita and Victoria defeated Gail Kim and Molly Holly via pin fall. Lita hit a DDT on Gail to get the victory – but the real story was after the match. While the heels were in the midst of their usual post-match beat down Kane came down after Lita. Instead of beating her, however, he fondled and sniffed her. Lita ran away while Kane licked his lips. Backstage, Lita ran into the arms of Matt Hardy and he announced his match with Kane – and promised to make him pay. While they are occupied hugging each other Kane appeared backstage and pummeled Matt Hardy through the backstage area.

The Coach was in the ring, taunting the crowd, and Tajiri entered. He called the Coach a liar and wanted a rematch. Coach said he didn’t want a rematch but he did want two egg rolls, some beef Lo Mein and if it was quick Tajiri could keep the change. Great, now I’m starving. The Japanese Buzzsaw kicked Coach out of the ring, and while he and Garrison Cade (Who teleported in) fled Triple H came to the ring. He appeared to be happy with Tajiri but then suddenly crotched and beat him. Does this mean Coach doesn’t get his Chinese food? The Game complained about Shawn getting his title shot next week, and Tajiri crawled back into the ring. Hunter went to attack him, but caught a healthy dose of green mist! HHH rolled in agony while Tajiri regrouped outside.

During the break Hunter had been helped to the back. He was carried by a trainer to Bishoff’s office and he began yelling blindly at a potted plant over what happened. When he found the actual Eric Bishoff he demanded revenge, and got a match against Tajiri tonight. Bishoff left, and the Game was still yelling – unfortunately at Bishoff’s poster. La Résistance was in the ring, as Rob Conway faced off against Rhyno. Eugene and William Regal were on commentary. The French sympathizer (We call those Democrats in my house) was firmly in control but Eugene was fooling around with the pyrotechnics. He ended up setting off all of the fireworks at once, which distracted Conway, and caused him to eat a gore and a loss. Rhyno defeated Rob Conway via pin fall.

Backstage, La Résistance was furious with Johnny Nitro. They wanted a match, but Regal said Eugene couldn’t even lace up his boots. Nitro gave him two weeks to get ready for his big in-ring debut. Benoit and Edge were being interviewed when HBK interrupted. Benoit dismissed next week as Shawn’s last, and told Edge that tonight they put the final nail in Evolution’s coffin. Christian, Thompson Tomko and Trish came to the ring. There was a great sign in the front row that read: “Rommel Rules. Wevv sucks. Why doesn’t he just give Bossman and Big Show each a sandwich so they don’t wreck your house already? How hard is that? Death to the Liberals. Red is truly the best color. Clerics are the best class in Dungeons and Dragons.” What? It was a long sign!

Christian ran down his list of accomplishments, including the acquisition of Thompson Tomko, problem solver. He claimed the only thing he lacked was the Heavyweight Championship around his waist. Grandmaster Sexay came to ringside. The two had a predictable match, with Grandmaster hitting his spots before losing to the unprettier. Christian defeated Grandmaster Sexay via pin fall. Jericho’s awesome new introduction followed, and he attacked from the crowd when Thompson Tomko went to meet him at the ramp. He tossed Christian out of the ring and applied the Walls to Trish before she was pulled out by Thompson. Jericho taunted the trio from the ring as they backed away.

The Game came to the ring, still sporting a green face courtesy of Tajiri. The Japanese Buzzsaw was on offensive immediately, taking advantage of the poor vision of Hunter. He had three quick near falls, and Hunter retreated to the outside. Tajiri followed, beating Hunter around the ring before demanding a count out. Of course, Triple H answered at a count of nine. The Game had some desperate offense, and both men were down. Hunter started to take control, but received a vicious spinning heel kick which nearly took his head off and cost him a three count. Hunter applied an abdominal stretch, which was countered by Tajiri. Was that the Octopus? Tajiri was thrown outside, and returned with a flying drop kick which knocked the referee down. The Japanese Buzzsaw went to use the mist, but Triple H ducked and hit the pedigree for the three. Triple H defeated Tajiri via pin fall.

Kane had his match with MV1. Matt always meets his deadlines. Hardy was still selling the beating he suffered earlier tonight. This was a total squash match, including two chokeslams. Kane set up the tombstone and Lita ran to ringside to save him. Kane forced Lita to kiss him slowly, and then left. Matt Hardy Version 1 and Kane wrestled to a no contest.

“Smackdown! Your Vote” was at the Democratic Summit, which included some Hilary Clinton footage. The King was in the ring to sell the 2004 Diva’s swimsuit issue. Stacey Kiebler made her return to Raw. I’m happy. The Legendary Harley Race was in the front row, there to get a kiss from the prettiest Diva on the roster. Randy Orton came to ringside. He claimed that he was the real legend, and that he has accomplished more in two years than Race did in his entire life. He threatened to do the same thing he did to Mick Foley to the Harley. He spits right in Race’s face and invites him into the ring. Shelton Benjamin runs down, and with some explosive offense knocks the Intercontinental Champion around. Ever notice that segments involving Stacey Kiebler always end badly for those involved?

So last week I was talking to Mick Foley on the phone while he was at the Toys R Us charity dinner. I told him that he had a four star match at Backlash, and he claimed to be feeling it. He really is exactly like he is on WWE TV, just a lovable Teddy Bear with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. The Smackdown! Rebound! Aired, detailing the show I never see. Backstage Batista actually spoke! He promised to handle Benoit and Edge and regain their WWE Tag Championships.

The main event was the Tag Team Championship rematch. Chris Benoit got a big rematch, and was announced as originally from Alberta Canada and now residing in Atlanta. Of course, this followed the WWE format for a tag match, with the faces leading at the beginning of the match. Edge had Flair in the Figure Four, and Benoit chopped the sixteen time champion into two corners until he flopped down. Edge was tossed from the ring and apparently hurt his broken hand as we hit break.

Edge made the tag immediately following the show’s return, and Benoit came in a house of fire to take on both members of Evolution. He had Batista in the cross face following the flying head butt, but Flair broke up the hold. The match began to disintegrate, with all four men in the ring at once. Edge took Batista over the top rope to the outside, and Flair readied the figure four. Edge had already recovered though, and he hit the spear from out of no where to get the pin fall. Chris Benoit and Edge defeated Evolution to retain the WWE Tag Titles. Immediately after the match Hunter came to attack, but Shawn Michaels made the save with a chair. While clearing the ring he accidentally nailed Benoit with a chair. Edge began arguing with him, and he eventually understood what happened. Chris popped up and applied the sharpshooter on HBK, and Edge had to beg him to release it.

Match Results:
Lita and Victoria defeated Gail Kim and Molly Holly via pin fall
Rhyno defeated Rob Conway via pin fall
Christian defeated Grandmaster Sexay via pin fall
Triple H defeated Tajiri via pin fall
Matt Hardy Version 1 and Kane wrestled to a no contest
Chris Benoit and Edge defeated Evolution to retain the WWE Tag Titles.








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