Wrestling in a Bottle: Draft Afterthoughts and Bradshaw the Mega Heel
Submitted by Snapple on Sunday, March 28, 2004 at 12:14 AM EST



Come one! Come all! It's the latest edition of Wrestling in a Bottle, served up hot like a stack of smouldering tire rubber. I'm your iron chef, Snapple. What a week it has been. The draft has come and gone, and there have been some major changing on Smackdown! Some for the better, a lot for the worse. I'm going to cover it all, and as you can deduce, I haven't turned off my television yet. I'm still watching wrestling, for now.

News is that Steve Austin is in trouble, yet again. Rather, not in trouble with the law, but still not doing any favors for his reputation. Austin needs to channel his anger into something more productive than hitting women. I really don't have much to say about this, except that if you're a woman, don't date Steve Austin.

It has been less than a week since the redraft, and already oh so much has happened. Let's delve into it, shall we?

What's Your Story?

So rather than an entire redraft of the rosters, apparently only six wrestlers from each show were being stolen. That's a letdown already. I thought the whole point was to shake up both rosters and bring us new feuds? That being said, I want to see main eventers get traded, by gum. Otherwise this whole thing has been a sham by Vince McMahon.

Well, call it a sham, but here's the list of people traded, to refresh everyone's memory.

RAW to Smackdown!
1. Rene Dupree
2. Mark Jindrak
3. Triple-H
4. Rob Van Dam
5. Teddy Long
6. Spike Dudley

Smackdown! to RAW
1. Shelton Benjamin
2. Nidia
3. Rhyno
4. Tajiri
5. Edge
6. Paul Heyman

Let's go through these "big roster changes," shall we?

First we have Rene Dupree, who has been jobbed out in singles competition the past two weeks on RAW. He's young and has room to improve, but essentially he's been doing a whole lot of nothing ever since he lost the tag team titles. A somewhat acceptable change, although hardly the impact I was expecting to start off the draft.

Secondly, Shelton Benjamin was drafted to RAW, breaking up the greatest tag team in the WWE right now. Here's the thing though. I have been PRAYING for Shelton Benjamin to be traded over to RAW for some time now. It's so perfect. He doesn't have a gimmick, so his character could go in any direction he wants. His talent is great, but he gets lost in the fold on Smackdown! Move him to RAW, and let him be managed by Teddy Long. That's what I've been saying for so long.

Of course, then they screwed that up by shipping Teddy off to Smackdown! My heart was broken, shattered, torn in twain. There aren't even any black people on Smackdown! to manage. Of course, later that would change, but little did I know that. I feel Shelton has been shortchanged now. He needs a new gimmick, and he doesn't need that horrible gimmick they gave him when he was on HeAT way back before his official debut with Team Angle. I remember he had this entrance video with his face in the middle of a hundred dollar bill, and his face would go, "It's all about the Benjamins." I believe Tito touched on this in his RAW review column, but it's entirely true. The gimmick was awful. I think they need to push him as a legitimate badass with some tweaks to his character to make it more colorful.

Rob Van Dam was the second biggest pick of this draft, and even he isn't necessarily all that great of a pick. RVD has been nothing but shat upon on RAW. Hell, he just lost the Intercontinental Championship fairly damn cleanly just a couple months ago. Now he's going to be propelled to the main event? I would say no, not likely. Unless they actually let him start winning matches on Smackdown!, the same thing that happened to RVD on RAW will happen again. He's the most over piece of "enhancement talent" on the roster, or at least he's treated that way.

Edge, as far as I'm concerned, didn't even matter as a draft pick. It's true that he was on Smackdown! before he was injured, but he would've ended up on RAW even if there weren't a draft in the first place. To me, he's a non-pick. Did the WWE need a redraft to explain Mark Henry's jump to RAW during his injury, even though he was originally on Smackdown!? No, of course not. Injured wrestlers just pop up on whatever show they please once they're healed again, no explanation necessary. If he were already wrestling on Smackdown!, I would say that's a big steal.

The other picks I guess were there largely to emphasis the unpredictability of the draft, but seriously, Mark Jindrak? This is a big steal? How about Spike Dudley? Or Nidia? I really don't quite understand how this constitutes anything like Vince's promise to shake up the rosters and ignite new rivalries. I think when most of us pondered the roster shake-ups, we immediately started thinking about the main event. However, all the main eventers are still exactly where they were a week ago.

Triple-H SHOULD have been the biggest trade of the evening. Hell, Triple-H defines the very fiber of RAW. If they had to pick just one man to trade in either direction to make the biggest impact, Triple-H would be that man. For all that I've said about Triple-H, I was excited to hear about his movement to Smackdown! He's wrestled everyone on RAW, and Smackdown! is really hurting for top name talent. Trips would've done well filling that gap, just so long as he didn't become world champion again anytime soon. Of course, as we all saw, Triple-H was traded right back to RAW in the absolute biggest mistake of the last two weeks.

What top heel did we get in place of Triple-H? Booker T. Booker is definitely not enough to carry the top heel spot on his own. Smackdown! still needs more star power around, BUT I do like that he's getting a fresh push. Not just a fresh push, but a heel turn and a new character direction. One thing that's really turned me off from Booker the past few months, is that he's just become lazy in the ring. Actually, lazy isn't the right word. Booker's been unmotivated, and it's hurt his matches a lot. That's not his fault. He's been the victim of crappy booking ever since last year's Wrestlemania. However, when I saw him wrestle Eddie Guerrero last night on Smackdown!, I saw a Booker T I haven't seen in a very long time. He was fired up. It's amazing what a little hope can do, because Eddie and Booker put on an absolutely great match up until the Nitro finish.

So essentially, the entire draft served one purpose to me. That's to get Booker T and RVD over to Smackdown! Sure, the Dudleys, Dupree, Benjamin, and a couple others could make some impact, but they won't make much of a difference to the shows themselves. Booker and RVD, in order to be a big smash are both going to need big pushes. Because if they stay at the same status they were at on RAW, they'll never go anywhere. However, what are they being pushed TO? If you take away the main eventers on Smackdown and everyone is pushed, then no one is pushed. With the way Smackdown! was just feeding random wins to its new talent acquisitions, I thought for sure I was watching a two-hour version of Velocity. The only things that made Smackdown! any different from Velocity were the opening speech from Kurt Angle and the main event match.

One last thing I want to talk about, draft aside, is the new push and character of one John "Bradshaw" Layfield, or as I think I'll start refering to him as: John Bradshaw, MEGA HEEL. Bradshaw's speech and interference in the main event couldn't be ignored. I was just awestruck at the ridiculousness and intrigue of such a seemingly big push for Bradshaw. Bradshaw has had singles pushes before, and needless to say, they've really sucked. This time, however, he's a heel, and now he's playing up his entrepeneur status to make him a character similar to Irwin R. Schiester. Surprisingly, the only thing he didn't do was complain about the audience not paying their taxes. My initial reaction was that I was happy Bradshaw's character is finally interesting for the first time in years. The downside is that he may be getting ready to feud with Eddie Guerrero.

I was rather surprised at some people's reactions though. I started a thread on the forums asking people what they thought of Bradshaw's heel turn, and the response was more than half the people who replied enjoyed his new character so far. Here's where I think some people may be forgetting something though. Bradshaw has to wrestle at some point. When the tie comes off, it's going to be the same horrible Bradshaw in the ring that we've always seen. So of course this push will fail yet again, and so will an Eddie-Bradshaw feud if it indeed happens.

Ask Triple-H

HHH: Welcome back, young readers, to the returning edition of "Ask Triple-H." I couldn't be happier right now. Sure, I may have lost the world title at Wrestlemania, but did any of you saps really think I was headed to Smackdown!? I just pulled the biggest coup of the year. Sure, there's a whole slew of people on Smackdown! I have yet to beat, and WILL one day beat, but I couldn't just leave Benoit on RAW with a win over me. I'll let him have the title a couple of months before I take it back in some rematch. Ah, I am a genius. Let's get to the letter.

Trips what did you think of wrestlemania 20 i mean it wasn't a marks jackoff dream of course but I will admit the main even was the best match of the night which is sad...no offense trips but your not as good as you use to be your getting stale right now i have to admit...but anyway what do you think about this years wrestlemania 20!!!

Jericholic015770

HHH: I'm glad you asked, Jericholic. What is a Jericholic anyway? I've heard of a Jerichoholic, but Jericholic sounds like a spice I keep in my pantry. To be frank, Wrestlemania this year was terrible. Most of the matches weren't anywhere near the potential they could've been... and I couldn't be happier. Hell, by the end of the night, I could've walked out to the ring and given a terrible performance, and you saps still would've loved it. I did one even better by actually delivering a high-paced and exciting match. I can't believe those losers in the midcard actually believed me when I said it's better to "slow down and tell a story." I'm not very happy that Jericho and Christian delivered a good match without my consent. I'm making a post-it note so I remember to erase another zero from Jericho's paycheck.

Wasn't it great how I threatened Booker's job if he didn't go over to Smackdown! and rant for two hours that Smackdown! is bush league compared to RAW? I am such a genius. That's all for this week.

Final Thought

I think it's very clear the WWE is in a transitional phase, so I'm going to cut some slack, for now. Pushing Bradshaw will prove to be a bigger mistake than pushing Bob Holly though, just watch. I said when I first heard that Holly was main eventing a PPV that he would be back to midcard Hell in no time and totally left off the Wrestlemania card. I think I called that pretty well. At any rate, this'll be an interesting time for Smackdown! See y'all next week.

-Snapple

Send me feedback if you like cute fuzzy animals, or even if you don't. happydude5000@msn.com

Questions for Triple-H should include the phrase "Ask Triple-H" in the subject header.

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