The Wrath of Tito - Full RAW review with Lottery analysis, and more
Submitted by Mr. Tito on Tuesday, March 23, 2004 at 11:26 AM EST
Welcome to the Wrath of Tito, the column that speaks volumes. Last night was the Lottery, and it made something very clear to me: I don't want to watch Smackdown again. Is it not clear that Stephanie McMahon is coming back as general manager now that Heyman is on RAW? The Triple H move is ridiculous, for he's going to shit all over Guerrero's title reign. Hey wait a second, he already did that by dogging it in the match last night. Seriously, do you want to watch a show with both Triple H and the Undertaker on the SAME show? I sure as hell do not.
Looks like I'll be enjoying Monday Night RAW MUCH MORE. I mean Jesus, the announcement of Benoit vs. Michaels at Backlash (in Edmonton, no less, Benoit's hometown and Canadians hate Michaels), and no Triple H will give this show a lot of freedom. While I'll miss the World's Greatest Tag Team, I'm happy to see that both will get singles careers because both are insanely talented. Poor Charlie Haas, though, for he's on a show with the Undertaker and Triple H. Poor everyone on THAT show, especially when Triple H and Stephanie McMahon begin to relive their 2000-2002 love relationship or feud. It's GOING to happen, whether you like it or not. It's very clear that Vince McMahon is positioning Smackdown as the #1 show, and I guarantee he'll be hogging up time. This doesn't sit well with the urban and Hispanic audience who tune in every week to see Chavo, Rey Mysterio, Eddie Guerrero, and John Cena. I hope the ratings start to drop once HHH hogs excessive time to put over how great he is.
Ron Simmons or Faarooq was released by the WWE after Smackdown was taped. Is he getting a job as a road agent? If so, you'd release him as a wrestler and hire him as a road agent, right? The news of that shouldn't be trivialized like it has if that's the case. Whatever happens, best of luck to Mr. Simmons. I've been following your career since WCW, enjoyed you as a tag team wrestler mostly, namely in Doom and the first 2 years of the Acolytes. The scary fact now is that Bradshaw is a singles wrestler again.......
The cause of death for the British Bulldog has been released. Here is the coroner's statement: "Investigation revealed, that in his profession, Mr. Smith had used anabolic steroids in the past. Injectable anabolic steroid and paraphernalia was seized by the coroner. Analysis of the anabolic steroid revealed trenbolone acetate. The above described changes in the fibrous connective tissues are consistent with previous anabolic steroid use." There you have it, another wrestler dies at an early age due to muscle enhancers. He joins Rick Rude, Brian Pillman, and among others who suffered heart attacks or other heart conditions caused from excessive muscle enhancer use. Just great.
Wrestlemania 20 is going to be released as a 3 disc set by the WWE (can you say $$$$ for them?). The event, itself, can fit on 2 discs. However, I can imagine that the WWE wants to load this baby up with special features. That's fine with me, as I'll be one of the many sheep who will pony up to buy this event. I personally want to view the event by cutting out all of the excessive midcard matches. I have a theory that I was too winded by such a long event to enjoy certain parts. But who knows?
Kurt Angle seems to be OK and doesn't need another surgery, in the hear future. PHEW! This guy seriously needs to take it easy. Maybe even take him off the houseshow circuit? He's great on television, but he's a serious health risk if he wrestles too much. The quick surgery procedure is dangerous and proving to be ineffective. Steve Austin's book said that the procedure involves shaving spinal discs and only fusing one vertebrae at a time (but all will be fused in the future). Does that not sound crazy or what? Kurt Angle may have put his future health in serious jeopardy by having this procedure done to his neck.
I've got a lot to say about RAW, so on to it. Be sure to check out my BLOG, http://mrtito.blogspot.com for my opinion on stuff other than wrestling.
On to the RAW review!
RAW is TITO
The event started with Vince McMahon sandwiched in between Eric Bischoff and Paul Heyman, explaining the rules of tonight's lottery. Good, I'm glad somebody did that. I liked the idea upon first hearing it, for Smackdown would randomly select 6 wrestlers to take to Smackdown while RAW would do the same, likewise. It did seem pretty random, especially with Bischoff's picks and Paul Heyman's one pick of a main eventer. Every wrestler was in attendance and Michael Cole and Tazz were also on commentary.
With the first pick, Paul Heyman snatched Rene Dupree from RAW. That's a pretty good pick, as Dupree is ready to branch out of La Resistance and out on his own. He has the charisma, look, and attitude to make it out on his own. I saw him in a dark match against Kanyon in November of 2002. I was quite impressed. This guy is only 20 years old and has years upon years of only getting better. He's shown great progress already. This goes against one idiot I used to call "Monkey" making a negative news report, something along the lines of "why are you signing this unknown when you could sign either Big Vito or Konnan?". Funny, Big Vito and Konnan aren't exactly ripping it up these days on the wrestling scene and the WWE has shown no interest in either man since WCW was bought out. Eat your words or bananas, Monkey, especially if Dupree becomes a breakout star as a singles wrestler. Then again, he's now on the same show as Triple H and Undertaker...
Dupree would come out to the ring and talk crap on the entire RAW roster. He challenged any "RAW jabrone" to a match. The first match of the night was Chris Jericho vs. Rene Dupree. Pretty good opening match, actually, as Dupree had no problems keeping up with Chris Jericho. It was actually someone fresh for Jericho to work with, too, instead of a very stale Christian. Yeah, I said it. Jericho won the match, and Steve Austin would come out to shut up Dupree further by giving him a stunner. Yeah, great way to make Smackdown viewers believe in THAT guy.
With the next pick in the draft... Eric Bischoff picked up Shelton Benjamin from Smackdown. Benjamin certainly has the talent and the ability to perform in the ring. He proved it as a great tag wrestler and he proved it when he later branched out into singles matches. Both Haas and Benjamin are jems of the Ohio Valley Wrestling farm system, and both learned a lot since being brought up in late 2002. I'm hoping, though, that they keep Benjamin as a wrestler... Why? If you watched Benjamin in any dark matches before joining Team Angle, you'll know that the WWE was booking him as a wrestling PIMP. They had this stupid Titantron of "all about the Benjamins", which was so ridiculous. Why can't the WWE book a black wrestler without either making them ghetto or a pimp?
After this draft pick, we are treated to Kane squashing Rico in about 30 seconds. Yeah, that match was needed. After the match, Kane threatens both Heyman and Bischoff not to put him on the same show with the Undertaker. Hey, I was making that threat too! I don't want to see those two wrestle each other again!!!
Paul Heyman's 2nd pick was Mark Jindrak from the RAW roster. The crowd goes wild... no they didn't. Total silence. If he's going to Smackdown, I'd reunite him with Sean O'Haire (if he's healthy), given that they have a history of being a tag team. Otherwise, I don't see what else you can do with Jindrak, even though he's only 24 years old. He just seems to have no personality. Then again, in the WWE, only a handful of wrestlers get mic time, so you never know. Smackdown, early on, is loading up on the young OVW trained wrestlers.
I just knew either Booker T or Rob Van Dam were going to Smackdown after the tag title announcement for their match against Batista/Flair. Just KNEW it!
Eric Bischoff's 2nd pick was Nidia, which makes sense because she's a trained wrestler and on a show without the women's title. She changed her shirts out on the RAW entrance, showing everyone what a "big" superstar she was, in 2 simple ways.
Paul Heyman was about to make his next random RAW pick when John Cena felt it upon himself to come out and rap on RAW. This guy has never been on live Monday night television, so it was somewhat weird to see him there. He took off the FCC training wheels for a little bit in his rap, telling Heyman to suck on "deez nuts" to make Dr. Dre proud. Cena insisted on picking the next wrestler, drawing a name. Heyman didn't want to open it, but Bischoff insisted that he did. Heyman, upset, opened it and to his surprise, it was Triple H! You go from Dupree, Benjamin, Jindrak, to Nidia, and now you finally crack open a Main Eventer. Triple spat out his water in surprise and was very jacked. By the way, can you imagine how bad a Triple H vs. John Cena match would be? *shrugs*
Next match was Spike Dudley vs. Christian. Yet another case of RAW jobbing out their Smackdown exports. Boring match up, adding nothing whatsoever to the show. I'm seriously getting bored with Christian's character and in ring ability. He seems to have no charisma in that ring and his trademark moves are becoming very stale. Personality has gone stale, too. I've tried to stick up for this guy over the years, but now, he just seems to be doing the same old things. Christian has become a very boring wrestler in the WWE right now.
Before making the next pick, Bischoff ran to the back to address Vince McMahon about the HHH pick. Vince said the pick was legit, and Heyman egged on having a special Smackdown title contest between newly acquired HHH and Eddie Guerrero. Hotshotting that match already, are we? Then again, the match had no real finish, as I would have had Eddie Guerrero winning after HBK's interference. We can't have HHH jobbing to Eddie, now, just 2 weeks after jobbing to Benoit? Heaven forbid! Having booking power as a wrestler backstage is so dangerous.
Eric Bischoff's next pick was Rhyno, and he was instantly getting a RAW World Title shot against Benoit. Rhyno is so old news, as he was a wrestler who Smackdown jobbed heavily over the last few months. BIG DEAL. Funny thing was that Rhyno had a lot of title credentials on his profile.
Decent tag team match with Booker T/Rob Van Dam vs. Ric Flair/Batista. Flair can still work with anybody, I swear. RAW tag title matches have been getting lots of extra television time lately. Just imagine if a good tag team had the tag title belts and took advantage of this... Flair and Batista won the match, clearing the way for either RVD or Booker T to leave RAW... predictable! With HHH going to Smackdown, I wouldn't have moved either to Smackdown. Why? Both guys were ridiculed by HHH, and the last thing either guy needs is to follow the guy who trashed their main event career.
The next match was Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno. These two have wrestled so much that it adds nothing new to this match. Same old match, and nobody wants to care about Rhyno because the WWE hasn't cared about Rhyno since his return from neck surgery. Benoit won the match with the Crossface. See you in midcard hell, Rhyno.
With the next pick, Paul Heyman picked up Rob Van Dam. As I've said before, guys like Rob Van Dam, Kane, Chris Jericho, and Booker T need to be on a show without Triple H, a guy who totally discredited them since 2002. While Rob Van Dam may seem fresh on Smackdown, he's still nothing but a midcarder on that show while Triple H is there. Is his contract still coming up? Later backstage, the Coach confronts Booker T and RVD about their break up, to which neither guy knew about RVD's departure. Bad acting jobs, too.
Backstage, Eric Bischoff talks to Shawn Michaels, and Michaels insisted on being traded to Smackdown to go after Triple H. However, Eric Bischoff offered a counter offer in giving Michaels a title shot at Backlash. Oh baby, Backlash could possibly present us with the Match of the Year for 2004. Think about it... you have the Edmonton crowd, completely behind Chris Benoit since it's his hometown. Secondly, you have Shawn Michaels, not a man liked by Canadians for his role in the Bret Hart screwing and other antics in the DX vs. Hart Foundation feud. Their RAW match was very good and Benoit/Michaels carried the Wrestlemania 20 main event. You know these two will be primed for this match. It will be an instant classic!
With the next pick, Eric Bischoff selected Tajiri. What?!? He's a cruiserweight. Why take him away from his own show? Now granted, Smackdown has misused him lately... but he'll come over to the RAW roster and he'll be forced to job constantly to the larger wrestlers on that roster. Just great. I'll give the WWE credit, though, by taking a Cruiserweight, it shows how random the selection APPEARS to be.
Paul Heyman drew Teddy Long next. Let me hollar at you, playa! Who can Teddy Long manage on Smackdown, though? I'll laugh if Rodney Mack comes back as a Smackdown wrestler, and it will make me laugh because I'll have another reason not to watch that show!
Eric Bischoff finally got redemption by picking up Edge off of the Smackdown roster, although Heyman insisted Edge was on "injured reserve".
Paul Heyman was disgusted with his next pick, as it was Spike Dudley. At least Spike has the Cruiserweight division to wrestle in now, a positive for him instead of being RAW's jobber.
The final pick in the lottery was made by Eric Bischoff, who laughed when he drew it and quoted Vince McMahon in saying "everyone is eligible for the lottery", including general managers. Eric Bischoff drew Paul Heyman's name, thus clearing the way for Stephanie McMahon to return as Smackdown's General Manager. Just great, just what the WWE needs on their top rated show. Heyman was upset, saying he'd never work for Bischoff and quit on the spot! (My good friend the Corduroy King suggested that it may be a way for Paul Heyman to join the WWE's ECW brand that may take the Confidential timeslot in the future, if the ECW show happens).
Eric Bischoff then got cocky about his draft picks and went to the ring and bragged about it. He insisted that he's outlasted 2 general managers and stood up to Steve Austin. That much is true. Edge then made his big return, looking pumped to be back, and gave a spear to Eric Bischoff in the middle of the ring. Awesome. Edge comes to a show that is FREE of Triple H/Undertaker tyranny and he could finally get the main event push he was denied when he was thrown into a feud with Fat Albert (or A-Train).
The Main Event was next, and it was Triple H vs. Eddie Guerrero. Just looking at the wrestlers' expressions, it appeared that Triple H either didn't want to be wrestling right now or he didn't want to wrestle Eddie Guerrero. Just had an unmotivated look in his face, and didn't seem motivated in the match. He was dogging it against Smackdown's new World Champion, not putting any emotion into the match. Eddie tried his best to put HHH in his backpack to carry the guy. Can you say "squashing the face pop", everyone? Triple H is so good at those things. This match should have ended with Eddie Guerrero winning the match after Shawn Michaels superkicked HHH, but we can't have that. It would give Guerrero a thing called "momentum", especially against Triple H, who jobbed to Guerrero's buddy at Wrestlemania 20. All of the run ins made both RAW and Smackdown rosters run down for a big brawl to end the show. While I was upset at the no contest in the match, I kinda liked the big brawl. It gives a sense of separation and competition between the brands.
LAST WORD: CRAZY NIGHT of RAW, one of which made you not change the channel for a change. I remember that feeling on Monday Nights. I haven't had it in about 3 years or so, maybe even more. The lottery seemed to add a certain drama to the show and it seemed to create a competition, finally, between the rosters which I hope is carried out between the two brands to keep the shows hot throughout the Spring and Summer, two seasons where the WWE seems to lose their most money, attendance, and ratings. Some midcard matches shouldn't have been booked. This show would have been an A+ if Guerrero beat Triple H, but they ruined that opportunity. I'll give this show an [ A ] anyway. I hope to get excited at some of the midcarders changing brands, but I'll never hold my breath with the Undertaker and Triple H now both on Smackdown, with Stephanie definitely becoming the new GM.
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@That's all for today. Thanks a million for reading.
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