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Submitted by Wevv Mang on Sunday, March 21, 2004 at 12:48 PM EST
Ridin’ With The Bossman – Open Invitation And Lottery…? Greetings! Welcome to another edition of Ridin’ With The Bossman! Sheesh! Remember what I said about taking a week off? Well, it happened again. Brock is really gone from the WWE, Vince announced the Lottery, Angle has neck problems…again, and Ron Simmons gets fired. Well, I’m back in full force next week, so we’ll see if the insanity continues. How bout that WM, eh? Quite a show. So, before I get into the letters about what some fans would like to see for/in the return of ECW, let’s cover the Wrestlemania happenings, shall we? WWE TV – Cash Cow Comes Home AKA Wrestlemania Recap Info provided by Steven "I Can’t Feel My Ass, But I Am Studly Enough to STILL Recap Raw After RECAPPING FOUR AND A HALF HOURS Of Wrestling!" Rommel Four hours and 45 minutes of wrestling. Boku amounts of dough made from just this one show. Third highest grossing WM gates of all time. Not bad for a building that seats only 20,000 people or so. I’d say they got their moneys worth. I’ll only touch on a few matches, since there are a lot of reviews up, and they’re pretty diverse. Goldberg vs Brock Most folks say that this match was a downer. I disagree. See, I think that there was a lot of emotion going into this match. That’s what caused the crowd to turn on it. They knew Brock was leaving, and were expecting big things. When nothing happened, well, they got rowdy. The fans didn’t get what they wanted to see, and what that is exactly, well, I’m not sure. So they just let everything fly, and the following matches were down because of it. See, they booed Brock, AND they booed Goldberg. The only guy they cheered was Austin. That’s a weird dynamic. The guy who wasn’t wrestling was the face in that match up. I can only think of what could have happened if WWE had put some effort into making Brock vs Goldberg the REAL match, instead of teasing that Lesnar and Austin were going to match up. Or how about if it was going to be Austin vs Goldberg? That might have been what the fans wanted to see. The thought was there, maybe in the back of folks minds, and that’s what they may have been expecting, and simply getting Lesnar and Goldberg exchanging lock ups is what they really didn’t want to see. Well, two of the three guys are gone, and the one remaining isn’t a wrestler. Torrie and Sable vs Stacey and Jackie Can you believe it? Actual wrestling took place in this match. They got nearly naked and rolled around and did some cool moves. They may not have looked pretty (the moves that is) but they didn’t have to. The chicks were hot enough to cover it up. Hey, I remember the days of wrestling in vomit and just slapping the other chick silly. This was leaps and bounds better. C’mon, rolling reversals? Fit Finley is doing his job, that’s for sure. Queer Eye For The Dead Guy OK, WWE hires Paul Bearer (who hasn’t said one word so far, good job WWE), you have the spooky lights, the acolytes with the torches. Then you have Taker coming out dressed as a cowboy. What’s wrong with this picture? Seriously, the guys backstage couldn’t tell that something was wrong with the picture? Last week, it was the levitating Ring Of Doom For You Foot. No one said, "Hey, maybe Taker should look, I don’t know, maybe a little more, you know, spooky?". Nope, not one peep. Instead we got Cowboy Bill, heading to the big showdown in the ring. Which Kane lost. All that monster build up, losing his mask, going crazy, all so he could lose to Taker at WM. Yep, losing his mask has done wonders for Kane. Reader Dan wrote in with this about his take on Taker: Hi there, I have written you a couple of times regarding your "Riding with the Bossman" column, which I enjoy very much, and even though you don't know me from Adam, I feel the need to vent. Why in all the glorious fartknocking lack of genius, did the Undertaker's return suck so very, very badly? They had such a cool angle working with all the hokey supernatural stuff (though I guess dimming the lights and striking a gong don't exactly require a medium), why in the world did they have an anticlimactic regular match? Here's one Over-analyzer's take on something that would have worked better: The ooky-spooky stuff goes on right up to MW20, but no sign of UT in the flesh. Kane can rail and shout all he wants but NO ASKING FOR AND GETTING A MATCH WITH A MAN WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD! Blasterdly flabberguts, that part pissed me off. Talk about blowing months of story... So anyway, at WM20 Kane is beating the stuffing out of some mid-carder (maybe The Hurricane...) when the lights go down, the gong goes off, and the spooky purple light comes up to reveal the 'Taker cross at the top of the ramp with Kane's old mask (old-old, not the goofy newer one) strapped to the center. As Kane looks on in rage and disbelief, his old mask erupts into flames, which soon consume the whole cross. Of course, while his back is turned and the ref isn't looking, Hurricane and Rosey (who bumbles in out of the stands) double team Kane with a Shining Wizard/Chair to the head combo that knocks him out and affords Hurricane the win. Then the real shocker. While Benoit and Eddie are celebrating their mutual wins, the lights go down, the gong goes off, and 'Taker and Kane (now wearing the burned mask) appear in the ring amid flashing strobes and lightning effects, double chokeslam the two champs, steal their belts, and disappear in the darkness. Instant killer feud with the two humiliated and robbed face champs cooperating to hunt down and destroy the unstoppable monsters who wronged them so vilely. Taker's New Ministry grows unexpectedly (heel-turn city!) making the Radicalz quest unpredictable, and gaining them unexpected allies in the hunt for vengeance. I love the idea that Kane killed the Underbiker on purpose, knowing that the Deadman would rise from the ashes: Kane's rampage has been without focus (as many gifted internet writers have established); he was beaten by Shane McMahon, for pity's sake. He needs the guidance and strength of his older brother to truly become the terror of his dreams. The whole thing--the whole thing--should have been a massive swerve. Man, Tito would be talking about how cool it was, instead of whining (you can tell him I said that) about how lame it was. Thanks, now I feel better! -Dan No problem Dan, and we already talked about it, but since this is a reader mail based column, I thought I’d share it. Jericho/ Trish/ Christian Well, since I’ve been giving the main ideas for this whole angle (Canadian coin, late Valentine’s day gift, Trish turning heel, incriminating photos, and so on), it’s up to me to stop this from going the way of all WWE skits involving chicks. That is, to stop it from getting damn creepy. First, stop this shit with Whip Me, Beat Me, Use Me. This whole thing isn’t about Trish liking it rough. Fuck that. It’s about Trish getting revenge on Jericho, and hurting him like he hurt her. Evil Trish is gold. Folks seem to really like heel Trish. They’re even back to saying how hot she is. Play it up. Make her available. Don’t tie her down with Christian. Here’s how to play it. Trish is using Christian. She’s now broken up Jericho’s close friendship. Jericho, after losing his temper, decides to play it cool. He’s mad, yes, but he’s not going to let it bother him. Screw Trish, she’s not the girl he thought he knew. She and Christian belong together in his mind. Trish gets pissed that she’s not aggravating Jericho anymore. That was the whole point of her scam. So she starts to flirt with other guys and setting them against Jericho. Her character? Sex pot Ice Queen. Cold, smart, and collected. She knows how to use her physical charms to get what she wants. She can tease, but doesn’t deliver the goods. Trish just needs to mix up her promos. She’s got peppy down, but she needs to cut a few refined, evil mastermind type promos. That’s her weak spot. Concise, direct, and to the point promos. She has to watch the "You knows" and stop sounding like a valley girl. She can do it. Look, if it’s only allowed to be a cast of three, it’s dead in the water. It’s needs to branch out. Capitalize on the interest this angle is generating. Can I keep the twists coming? Hell yes. Plenty of cheesey teen plot devices to pick from. I am the King Of All Cheese after all. Rock/Sock vs Orton/Flair/Batista Really solid match. The energy just sucked me in. It was great to see these guys just having a blast in the ring. I loved the Flair-Rock mix. Of course, once it was time for the ending, it really did nothing for the future of the angle. Rock showing up was for nothing, just to spike the interest, which had waned. I’ll say it again, this thing has been dragged out for months, when all Foley really had was one red hot promo to go on. Find an ending, quick, wrap it up, and move on. The Lottery It just baffles me. Why do it now? Why do it with practically no build up. Vince just comes out and says, ‘hey, we’re going to shuffle the rosters of the shows next week. Bye bye!" What the holy fudge was that??? You could hear people’s jaws drop. What was the outcome of this? A collective "Huh? Wait, what about…?" The most baffling thing is that there’s no reason to screw over both shows, just to move a few people. Did you see Smackdown? Did you see Haas and Benjamin mix it up? There are two stars ready for a singles career. It was a great match. The time is ripe for the LWO vs the Asian Connection. The Çrusierweight open at WM was the perfect set up. That’s a feud that could carry the brand all the way to Summerslam. Big Show? Top heel. Cena is pushing it with his injuries. Angle is now gone with neck pain. So it’s necessary to shift some talent. A face off in negotiations with Heyman and Bischoff is a great inter-promotional feud. Vince could have been the guy to play with things just for the hell of it. But no. Instead it’s "We’re having a draft! Everyone is up for grabs! We’re only going to move four or five people, but we’re going to tell you this is a big thing, but it’s not! Now here’s Steph back on your TV! HAHAHAHAHA! You bastards! BUY OUR STUFF! SPEND YOUR MONEY ON US! NOT SPENDIG MONEY = NOT SUPPORTING US!" Yes, the only reason I can come up with for making this big a deal out of simple trades is because Steph has to have her own show. You have Benoit and Guerrero as champs. The shows are building the audience. Attendance at house shows is up. Ratings are slowly climbing back. Things are going well. Hell, even H is getting some heat back. Why screw all this up now, and I mean RIGHT NOW? Something this big should be advertised, teased, built up. You have weeks of angles that could be played up, but it’s all being launched in one fell swoop. Why? Why not play it out? That’s the big question I keep asking. Why? I’m not alone. Scout the message boards. Sure, there’s the traditional fantasy booking, but it’s not at the level it was when the Draft was going to take place. It feels more like a sense of dread. Is that the vibe the WWE was going for? I sure hope not, but they sure got it. Heck, even columnists are shying away from this one. More time is being spent rationalizing why the draft has to take place, and cautiously hoping that their favorite guy gets a break. I’m trying to overcome my Wevvy sense of "This isn’t going to be good". If it’s all for Steph, then we’re all in really big trouble. Man, showing Shane’s kid on TV may have driven her over the edge. H has been looking smaller, and that can only mean that the breeding cycle is in full effect. Let’s hope the guy succeeds, and quick. Why? It’s at least three months of guaranteed no-Steph. I’ll stop thinking about the Lottery now, it’ll be over soon. Then the real worrying can start. Hey, at least I’ll have material for my column. HAAAAMMM! Right Big Show? Wevv Mang Open Invitation Last week, I asked for ideas on how to bring ECW back. I got quite a few responses. I’d like to thank al the folks who wrote in, and if I didn’t thank you personally by email, well, I’m a lazy, forgetful bastard who is truly sorry. So, for those of you who wished a curse on me, you got it. I was sick all weekend. There’s a birthday for ya. Happy Birthday! BLARGH! There goes the cake! Yay. So enough about me, this is about you, the reader. Here are a few readers’ ideas on how to bring back ECW. Pay attention to the key things these folks are looking for in a new ECW. I’ll briefly discuss at the end. Nick wrote: I believe that it might not work out, due to the fact that the FCC is on the lookout again, and that means WWE will water it down, and a watered down ECW will crap on the success and the wrestlers that were working for it. First of all, I'd have Paul Heyman talk about a new project which will 'rock the foundation and challenge Vince'. For a few weeks, we see footage of ECW, and it just has 'ECW: The New Beginning' McMahon comes out on Smackdown and asks Heyman to come out and explain what his new plan, which is meant to challenge Vince, so Paul comes out, and he talks about his current job on Smackdown, but as he goes to announce it, he asks Vince to turn around and is gored by Rhyno, as Heyman shouts "E..C...FUCKIN...W" and it leaves it at that. So the storyline could be that Heyman is trying to recruit guys, and so Dreamer, RVD, and guys like that would join the team. They could get into Vince's face and challenge him to come out and face the new extreme of wrestling. McMahon asks all of his guys to form an alliance and destroy the cancer that is ECW, but like surprise joining for ECW such as Jericho and Benoit. We then get a giant match at Summerslam between the two factions, and ECW can come out on top and then Linda comes out and announces that on Wednesday (or I dunno, replace Smackdown?) the new ECW show will debut in the ECW Arena. #1: Unscripted and uncensored promo's. This needs to happen otherwise it will fall flat and you wont get that 'extremeness' sort of look ECW had. #2: Same type that ECW once was, no watering down or the 'tone down high flying' voice. Let the guys go all out down there. Nolan Wrote: First off, being a southerner I was not able to see ANY ECW. damn shame. Ill get my hands on some footage one day I’m sure. Vinnie can get mad at Pauly and make some comment about ECW failing. Then Paul can fire back with something about doing better. Vince can say something close to "Heyman, You could not outdo me if I was paying for it." Paul fires back with "care to put your money where your mouth is?" And Paul walks out. Then over the time period of a month or two Paul can be doing back alley deals for his old ECW crew, RVD, Dudleys, Lance Storm, etc. and a few guys that might get wind of this from the old ECW crew that want in. Then one night Paul comes out with a clipboard and asks the production crew to run a quick clip. Its Vince and Paul with their verbal exchange. Paul makes the challenge and lays out details, like Vince gets to pick to timeslot, channel, network. Vince also cashes the checks no questions asked. "The details are all right here Vince, come sign the dotted line." Vince out of his arrogance struts down and scribbles his chicken scratch on two identical contracts. Paul proceeds to grab two cameramen and walks through the locker room grabbing "certain" wrestlers, namely the ones he make the secret deals with. The ones with a title walk WITH the title. (this leads to Vince placing a bounty on getting the WWE titles back from the ECW show). Vince asks what Paul is doing taking the cameras and cameramen, then grabbing wrestlers. Paul cunningly says "Read the contract Vince. You signed it and gave me the ability to take personnel AND equipment as I see fit. AND did I mention Vince .....YOU GET TO PAY FOR IT." Pauly then goes about promoting ECW as "Too Extreme to die" and it starts. And as an add-on this gets Sleazy-E thinking and he goes about planning a WCW return (since it is a rumor that has been floating around). Each promotion gets its own show with Eric taking over Smackdown since Vinnie refuses to give up his flagship of RAW. The wrestlers move back to the promotion that made them big names and you have three separate brands but Vince gets to stroke his Sable....er... ego since they are all making him money again. ECW stays regional with a few "on-the-road" shows and the WCW brand stays national touring since they already have the support structure with Smackdown. Hope that was short enough but detailed enough for your purposes. And the HHHAAAMMM thing would work as a sandwich substitute hahahaha. Dasimpletruth wrote: First of all this is dasimpletruth, a one hit wonder on lordsofpain columns. I saw your last post right before I was about to return to a regular column. But lets get into it. How to bring back ECW...its a hard thing to imagine simply because I really don't want to see Paul E leave the excellent job he is doing as the Smackdown General Manager. Even after loosing the likes of Benoit, Hardy and now Brock and Edge, he is clearly in control of the brand unlike Bischoff. First off the beginning would be a very slow one starting off with backstage segments between frustrated talent from ECW's past like Tommy Dreamer talking to Bubba Ray on the lack of TV time, pushes or respect in general. They wouldn't mention ECW by name for a while but you could clearly see the hinting in the conversation. Tommy talks to Bischoff to get some type of opportunity but is quickly shot down in favor of some upstart like Batista or Jonny Spade. Tommy is frustrated, Rob Van is frustrated with just being mid-card, but the two seem like isolated instances. Mr. Monday night is tired of the same old Monday nights, getting meaningless matches with no future. The good part is when RVD is seen at a joint PPV walking out of Paul Heyman's office with a smile on his face. Everyone on RAW doubts RVD's commitment to the brand thinking he is going to Smackdown. Only a few people still believe in Rob, namely the old ECW heads like Dreamer, Spike, D-von, Bubba. It all comes to a head when Rob shows up on for a contract signing with Paul E. and Vince. Vince is impressed by Paul E's evilness to get Rob from under Bischoff, cause we all know that on TV Vince supports but hates Bischoff for WCW. Vince signs, Paul E. signs and Rob finally signs. Then this is where Paul E. does one of his great interviews, where he lets Vince know how he is inspired by Vince's take what you want attitude. Rob did sign to a new promotion but it's not Smackdown, it's ECW and Vince just signed away the rights, name and gave Paul E. creative control of new WWE Sponsored brand ECW. The contract gave current superstars the right in a 30 day grace period to jump to ECW no matter what there contract situation is. Vince against his wishes would appoint Austin temporary GM of Smackdown to regain control and no one is better than the sheriff. The obvious people would join like Dreamer and the Dudleys, but what would be interesting to see is over the next month who jumps ship like Smackdown's ex commentator and the new voice of ECW...Tazz. This would be an excellent opportunity to bring in some flashy OVW talent to get a head start. There would be defectors from both brands like Sean O'haire, Matt Hardy V1, Rhino, Nova, if he's still there, The FBI, Coach to be the play by play commentator, Kanyon, if they could call him back, Chavo, Lance Storm, Val Venis, and a few others. These Superstars don't like much now but remember once upon a time each one of these guys was a hot commodity or hyped up to one. I would build each character with some TV time and some impressive matches not necessarily wins. For instance have Matt, Lance and Val each complain to Bischoff about no one getting an Intercontinental title shot from Orton because Bischoff is HHH's do boy. Bischoff gets pissed and sets them up for a triple threat TLC match and they tear the house down, only for each of them is jumped after the match by Evolution. Next thing you know you have 3 Upper midcard losses to ECW. This angle and its success depends more on the writing than the talent involved. The fans have to believe in Paul's ability to put on a great show. They have to be refreshed on the history of ECW, the attitude of do whatever it takes to make the fans happy. In the long term ECW could be the place where a superstar get respect before going to another brand or the place where the talented guys that don't seem to fit become mainstream. Eventually, on TV, ECW would break apart and instead of being part of the WWE They would try to compete head to head. They would have their on PPV's every 3 months, it would give the other brands time to really build up decent story lines. ECW would have the belts that made them famous, the ECW title, the tag titles and the TV title. At the inter-promotional brand PPV's all superstars have the opportunity to pull a Benoit, and challenge for any belt including the world and WWE titles if the GM approves and that would be there ticket to transfer shows, if they loose it's back to their brand and the of their GM for almost loosing them. It bring about some interesting possible story lines, hopefully it would convince Vince to drop his past vendettas and restart WCW, but we all know that would never happen Mike Wrote: I guess the best way is to look at this new "Lottery" that's being held next Monday. Vince did make mention to people he's related too...ie, Steph and Shane O'Mac. First, we have Stephanie come back and take over the General Managership of Raw, and we move Eric Bishoff over to Smackdown. This, in turn would leave Paul Heyman high and dry for a job. So Pauly goes to seek some better assistance in the man known as Shane McMahon. After all is said and done, they debut on Raw wearing the new ECW shirts saying something like "Raw just got extreme." From there, Paul Heyman starts to hand out contracts to all of his old ECW's alumni, edging for RVD to sign up with him. On this same night, Rob & Booker lose the World Tag Titles, and then RVD signs in frustration with the WWE. The next week, Paul would come to the ring and address the fans. "Now, I know that most of you think that I'm here to try and take over Raw and the WWE, but in case you had forgotten, we were unsuccessful in doing that a few years back. What you have here is the rebirth of the new ECW, the new Hardcore Revolution.." And then he goes on and on about how he's got his own show and the alternative to "Attitude." As far as long term goes, push RVD to the sky, give him that ECW World Title, and bring back the ECW style that we all have so greatly missed. I want to see stuff like Tommy Dreamer classics, and the energy of an ECW show. Tommy wrote: ECW already has an easy way to break into the new WWE. With the new lottery and Vince saying that he was unhappy with the way the general managers were treating some of their talent, he fires Paul Heyman and replaces him with Stephanie, who we all know is on the verge of coming back anyway. Heyman gets mad and vows revenge on Stephanie and Vince. The next week, you have Bischoff and Stephanie both mistreating or misusing some lower level talent, and Heyman watching in the back. Heyman then approaches said talent with offers but says they have to get themselves fired first. So the talent does just that and pulls out attacks on the general managers themselves to ensure their firings. This goes on for a few weeks, until finally on velocity Heyman comes out and says that it's his show now and that he was going to show the world what real wrestling was all about. He then unveils the new ECW. On the first episode he crowns the Dudley boys as new tag team champions and sets up a tournament to crown the ECW champion, which Lance Storm, Maven, Tommy Dreamer, The hurricane, Steven Richards, Spike, Rosey, Rhyno, and maybe a few choice others compete in a battle royal style match to declare the champion. The matches outcome is predictable as it comes down to Rhyno and Dreamer, from which either one is a good winner. Within the next weeks Heyman introduces many new stipulations such as the hardcore style dictates and puts forth a very strong showing. Anyway that's my view, doesn't mean I'll watch it though, because well there will still be better shows out there. Thanks again for writing in folks. What I can see is that if ECW is brought back, it has to be kept separate from WWE. It’s creation is not to promote WWE, but to challenge it. Paul Heyman is the key to reviving the new brand. Paul has to be out from under Vince’s shadow and at least on camera, provide a credible threat to WWE, and that means winning more than losing. The other vibe I’m getting is that the interest in ECW coming back isn’t that high. Paul is doing a good job on Smackdown, and that should continue. I also find interesting how is considered a good fit for ECW. Another factor in bringing back ECW, is to have the wrestlers express frustration over not being pushed. That could be a valid point, and if said wrestlers were pushed, the need to create a third brand diminishes It could be good, having ECW back, but the way things are going right now, the creation of a third brand would hinder, rather than help. We got a lottery to get through after all. That’s it for today. Sorry no Bossman and Big Show. When I was watching Smackdown on Thursday, I noticed they cut Show’s ring entry out. So no raising of the hand, and the bellow for ham. Heck, he didn’t even motion for the chokeslam once. Sigh, maybe next time. Ham will not be denied. I’ll be back on track next week, and I have a topic all ready to go, while I wait for replies to my requests for interviews. Next week, I’ll delve into a topic I’ve been thinking about for long time. What it must be like writing for the WWE. So be sure to check back next week. Ready Bossman, Big Show? Guys, put down the hams. Save it for next week. Come on, we got a casket to drag, and stop by the store to pick up some hair products. WE want to look stylish. Hey, think any zombies in Dawn Of the Dead look like they stepped out of a J Crew catalog? I doubt it. Until Next Time, Thanks For Reading and Thanks For Ridin’ Wevv Mang mrwevv@mac.com MUST SEE New Shots of the WWE Divas Out Partying!
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