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Submitted by Dumass on Wednesday, February 25, 2004 at 12:28 AM EST
Well...Well...Well... ____________ Every time I go into a new message board, I'm always looking for something. I look for fun, atmosphere, good times, and good conversation. That's what I'm looking for. What I get instead are idiotic marks telling me that BOOKR T R TEH BEST!~!~!@!@! and H HH NO SEELLS BUTT HE 'S STILL GERAT!!! Cream of the fucking crop, I swear. So, today, I'm going after some of the alphadogs of the mark kingdom. Please know that the reason these were picked were because they annoyed me the most. ---------------------------  Here's a guy who was the biggest draw for any federation in the past 10 or so years and now he drives a off-road vechal and carries a badge and expects me to enjoy it? Fuck him, he sucks. I want the REAL Austin back. I want the guy who was such a joy to watch not even 4 years ago. I want the guy who would come to ring, say "Blah blah blah kick somebody's ass, GIVE ME A HELL YEAH!!!" and the crowd would cheer and then he would proceed to stun everyone in the crowd and then drive off in his SUPUR BIGG TRUCK~! and tear the city he was in a brand new asshole. What do I get? "I'm the sheriff and -WHAT?- if you don't like it -WHAT?- you can lump it -WHAT?-." I now know why that's a catchphrase with him now. He's saying "What?", but he can't finish the sentence he started. The entire sentence is supposed to be "What am I doing here being a fucking idiot and ruining wrestling everytime I come out; oh God, someone shoot me and end my pain." I fucking hate Austin.  Duuuuuuuuude.....You suck!!! Cut that hair, you fucking hippie and stop ruining my wrestling show with your half-ass attempt at Lucha Libre, you gymnastic cock-knocker! Your gimmick is completely old and outdated (by about 20 years) and you're not helping the WWE right now by acting like an aging pothead. Quit wrestling now and save whatever is left of your dignity....wait...you never had any. Fuck, there goes my idea. I'm also tired of the whole "Thumb pointing" thing. Rob, I know you were probably stoned at the time, but it's 2004, not 1997. Quit living in the past and get a fucking job, you hippie!  Newsflash, you dipshit.....YOU'RE NOT A HORSEMAN!!! It's been at least 4 years since I saw a decent match from this guy (decent means I didn't smack myself with a hammer as an excuse to miss the match) and now, suddenly, he has a stable going and they think they are the Horsemen. Why? The Horsemen are dead. The NWO is dead. DOOM is dead. Everything is dead and in the past, LEAVE IT ALONE!! I don't want to see another untalented hack try and be a 'Horseman'. They're done, over, finished; let it die. Triple H, as a wrestler, isn't something to behold either. He botches his own moves with reckless abandon and hasn't been entertaining since ever. He's a bland wrestler with absolutlely nothing to offer and even less to give away. He sucks and I fucking hate him. I'll finish with this fact. As a Horseman, he's worse than Paul Roma and Steve McMicheal combined.  So, wrestling as evolved from half-naked, grown male athletes rolling around with each other trying to make each other cry out in pain or lay ontop of each other for a pin to a white guy rapping like he graduated from Inglewood Community College. Yea, wrestling hasn't become MORE gay [/sarcasm]. So, you rap about somethingorother and then you come out and....wrestle? Hold on there, Marky Mark; you're getting too ahead of yourself. How about we go this route with your career? You start working at McDonalds and give me ketchup for my fucking fries, bitch! I don't give a shit about how "fly" your "new threads" are or whose "ass needs bouncin"; you're here to wrestle. Work on that and drop the Vanilla Ice gimmick and maybe we'll talk; until then, super-size it, bitch!  Wow, it's like got out of a time machine and there was crap everywhere. You're Bob Orton's kid?! You sure don't wrestle like your dad in the classic style of, y'know, good. You're the other part of the new Horsemen. Well, since your leader is shit, I'm guessing you're no farther from the trough. Nice beatdown of Mick Foley by the way. It screamed "We're trying to be 1987" with a shade of "Look! I'm like Tully Blanchard!". Congrats man, you, along with the rest of the 'new' Horsemen, managed to take a childhood memory and shit all over it. As for the wrestling style, you're lacking form. Sure, you may get a little heat from the crowd, but usually the squash match is done by the time the heat develops. Don't worry though, I'm sure you'll get it through your head that you should quit while you're behind. Congrats on the I.C. title; you're officially a mainstay mid-card wrestler, kinda like your old man. --------------------------- That's all for this week. There will be a Part 2 of course; so don't worry, I still have alot more hate to go around. Next week is the REAL markout wrestlers. Oh fun...rapture...yes. Until next week, Eat a bag of hell, Dumass Lethal Wrestling: Tammy Stych gets PUNK'D by Lethal!! Click here!! *NEW GALLERY* AMAZING Up Close BACK Shots of WWE's Maryse! WOW!
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