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Submitted by Wevv Mang on Sunday, February 22, 2004 at 4:20 PM EST
Ridin’ With The Bossman – Timing is Everything Greetings! Welcome to another edition of Ridin’ With The Bossman! It’s a jam-packed edition (when isn’t it?), with a PPV to review, post PPV TV, and some wild theories to throw out there. Before I get into the PPV, there’s something I’d like to address first. It’s about the recappers. Justin Locurra, the guy who reviews Smackdown has announced his retirement. I’m sorry to see him go. He was a great recapper. Heck, all the recappers are solid. Rommel kicks major ass. Locurra is rock solid. But they’re not the only ones who do recapps. I always skip the Velocity, Heat and Confidential guys. Not deliberately, since they’re weekend posters, and that’s when the column goes up. So they get forgotten. I browsed some of their work, to see what I’ve been missing. The Velocity guy, Billy Arceneaux, is really good. I’m impressed. He’s on time as well, and has a good run going. The Heat guy, Matt Hargrave, has gone MIA, and really, who can blame him. It’s Heat. The Confidential guy, Peter Kostka has gone AWOL as well, but I chalk that up to celebrating the Pats victory and getting lost somewhere in New England. They may have mentioned my name in the past to qualify for a guest spot, and I just didn’t notice it. For that, I’d like to apologize. I’d also like to make a call to any readers who want to join the ranks of LOP Main pagers. Hyatte started out as a recapper. So did many others. Scott Keith is a big name and all he does is recapps. Oh, sorry, RANTS! So step up and try your hand. Heat looks to be available, and if you’re going to pay your dues, that’s a good way to earn some cred. TNA-NWA also needs some recappers. I ain’t gonna lie to you and say you’ll be instantly famous, but you’ll learn to craft your writing, and get into the habit of posting regularly. It’s tough, but you’ll get thanks from Wevv. Drop Calvin a line and ask for the details. Now, how bout some wrestling? WWE TV – The Series Now Way Out! Now Roach Free! Recapp Info By Steven "Rommel" Schaeffer, Mr. Recapp! Hot chicks open the show. Sable and Torrie promise the show will be good. Lying whores. A video package aired about the feud between Brock and Eddie. Great stuff, and it didn’t mention once that Eddie hears voices, and swerved the addiction angle to Eddie being addicted to winning. Wow, that actually worked. If they had Eddie beating his kids it would have been phenomenal. Sorry, getting the sarcasm out early. No roaches, and a video package that emphasized what the feud was about, as opposed to highlighting that Eddie has personal problems. This may be a good PPV after all. It shows some one was thinking. Bashams vs Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty No surprise really that Rikishi and Scotty would win. Backstage rumors about Shaniqua getting heat kinda spoiled it. Cole messed up one the Bashams names, so even they can’t tell them apart without some one telling them. Jamie Noble vs Nidia Nice filler match, with a lot of hijinks. Jamie cheated to end the thing, and it was quick. No prolonged beatings or general creepiness. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs The APA WGTT displayed a few new moves to their arsenal and Bradshaw showed he couldn’t sell worth a damn. Ron took the bumps and Bradshaw got to clean house, yet Benjamin got to sneak up on him and get the pin. Goldberg the Fugitive Goldberg entered the arena, took his chair and got to have Heyman and Brock yell at him. Brock called him a bitch, and Goldberg charged the ring. After laying out everyone, he got escorted from the arena by security. He then picked the locks on the handcuffs, escaped from the paddy wagon, and saved a group of kids from a burning house, yet still had time to escape the city wide dragnet being conducted for hi, and return to the arena in time for the main event. I hate the escorted from the arena gag. It’s almost as bad as the near death recovery. Holly vs Rhyno Snoozer of a match. Just boring as all hell. Just what Rhyno did not need to get back into the swing of the viscous man beast. Holly almost hurts himself several times during this match. Tazz and Cole ran out of things to say during the match, so they switched to the Spanish Announce Team. Holly got the pin. Poor Rhyno. Chavo vs Rey Match started off slow, put picked up at the end. Los Al Wilson got involved, but Jorge knocked hi out, But that Sneaky Chavo Sr managed to lay low to help Chavo cheat to win. Chavo is the New Cruiser Champion. Big Show vs Kurt Angle vs John Cena Nice mixing of styles. Solid match as well. Nice opening psychology as Big Show and Angle go at it while Cena watches. They trade partners and now Show is the spectator. Finally all three trades moves with each other. Show weakens Cena’s knee, and Angle sneaks up on Show and takes him out, then wraps up Cena for the tap. Brock Lesnar vs Eddie Guerrero Very good match. Nice work from Eddie and Brock. Brock displayed his raw power and surprising quickness, and Eddie was just Eddie. Great as always. Long match too. Enough time for a ref bump and for Goldberg to run-in and spear Brock. Brock did break a pin attempt right afterwards though. Eddie finally got the pin after the Frogsplash. Your new world champion, Eddie Guerrero Slow moving PPV that had some great wrestling matches. The good matches did suffer from a significant slowing in places. Overall, it felt like a Raw PPV, which is not a good thing. Loads of video packages were used to hype the main event, and that took time away from that extra effort to get the rest of the card over. Raw Recap info provided by the Hardest Working Man In Recapping, Steven "Rommel" Schaeffer Show starts out with the Punking of Benoit by Michaels. H then grabs the opening slot to make sure that the show doesn’t gain momentum, and that the folks who are eager to see some wrestling have time to realize it’s going to be one of "those" shows. He talks, then Bischoff comes down to inform the fans that he doesn’t know who H is going to face at WM. H plays to the crowd. Finally Benoit comes down and says what I’m thinking. "You talk to much" and then lays out the champ who starts to sell, and then decides not to and runs away. H Gathers the Troops H talks some more, and makes sure that everyone kisses his ass. Batista has the line of the night. "ARRRGGGH!!!!" Good job Big Guy, here’s a cookie. That’s all he says all night. RVD and Booker T vs Ric and "ARGH!" Early momentum by Booker and RVD, but a missed move by RVD set up the commercial break. Back to the action and it’s time for a run-in. It’s Mick Foley, who attacks Grunt Man and Orton. This allows RVD and Booker to get control back, and eventually get the pin. Your New World Tag Champions, RVD and Booker T. Ross did mention that Booker is a multiple time world tag champ. Amazing. No comments from Lawler. Sports Entertainment Filler Bischoff gets threatened by Austin. Eric doesn’t know what to do about the HBK-Benoit situation. Orton makes a match, but it’s non-sanctioned. Jericho sells the knee injury to Christian, and vows to confess his feelings to Trish. Christian says no. This is where a third person comes into play, to throw the audience off the trail of Christian’s shenanigans. But, no, that would make sense. It’s the old dreaded Sledgehammer of Plot. Blast, wrestling is an ensemble show. What that means is: en·sem·ble ( P ) Pronunciation Key (n-smbl) n. 1. A unit or group of complementary parts that contribute to a single effect, especially: a. A coordinated outfit or costume. b. A coordinated set of furniture. c. A group of musicians, singers, dancers, or actors who perform together: an improvisational theater ensemble; a woodwind ensemble. 2. Music. a. A work for two or more vocalists or instrumentalists. b. The performance of such a work. -Thanks to Dictionary.com Use the guys who creative "has nothing for". This is where they could be used, and get something to do, that can be developed into angles later. I’ve noticed it more and more. Each angle is an island, and they aren’t allowed to cross over into other angles. Well, except for H. So, if that is the case, in the Jericho-Trish-Christian scenario, it’s very limited. In all good dramas, the critical advice of the outsider comes into play, The guy who breaks the news to the hapless schmo that so-and-so is trying to steal his girl, or that the guy is cheating on so-and-so. If it’s the friend, all that leaves is the big scene where Jericho walks in on Trish and Christian kissing. That’s the final scene. Trying to get more out of it is going to be a tough call, since you’re basically starting from scratch after that. Sure, the whole "OK, I forgive you" stuff just makes Jericho look like a putz if he does it. It really doesn’t matter who gets the heat, whether it was Christian forcing himself on Trish or Trish just being nice, Jericho is going to be the fall guy, and it ain’t going be that good. Not that what has gone on so far has been stellar, but fans have been able to put their own spin on things, and make it fun. Now the end is approaching, and hopefully WWE doesn’t do the old three weeks of meaningless grudge matches. There’s still a way to spin this, to hopefully carry on to the next PPV. Clean break, and let Trish chase Jericho. Christian and Jericho have their match at WM, and then Christian is out of the picture. No Stalker antics please. DDP still haunts me. SAR-RAH! Nope, break it clean and then you do the Lana –Clark thing from Smallville. Jericho is now the one who has lost his feelings for Trish, and she realizes that she does have feelings for Jericho and tries to win him over, but no dice. Then, when Trish falls for another guy, Jericho can get jealous. See, it’s still got legs, enough to reach SummerSlam anyway. Good luck, and use it wisely. If WWE needs help, well, they know what to do. Imaginary phone call to an old friend who used to have the nickname Wevv. Put A Little Ass on It I know you’re aching baby, but we can stop all this hurting, like a baby. Just a horrible song, and notice how Tito never really says how bad it is? I don’t think he made it all the way through it. He’s just running away. Oh, I know he’s lost and searching for words to describe the song, and if he just put a little Ass on it, ass on it, I can show him how. I know that I can show him something, that’s gonna make him better, just follow the prescription to the letter, and think about that huge, giant, pock marked, sweaty, smelly ass being put on it. Enough tangents? I think so. Sports Entertainment happened. HBK vs Benoit Man, this was an amazing match. To me, it really showed HBK’s limitations, as Benoit just mirrored his effort through the whole thing. HBK picked up the pace, Benoit followed suit. HBK slowed it down, Benoit slowed done to his level. Back and forth, the whole match. Just great. This truly is a match of the Year. Great emotion throughout. Little high flying, and all mat work. Benoit gets him the Sharpshooter, and I’m not surprised that HBK doesn’t tap out to the move. HBK don’t like the submission thing. That move in particular, but he doesn’t do the crawl all over the ring trying to escape, though he does prolong the escape. H makes a run-in to distract Benoit for the SuperKick,. 1-2-3. H then gets to lay out HBK and Austin drives down in his ATV to announce the three way dance at WM. Damn, you just had a WM main event, why ruin it with H? Oh, right, "He’s a McMahon, Dammit!" One comment to preview OAW. Bischoff was pissed and frustrated the whole night. He got it from all side, and to top it off, he’s going to be fighting Vince next week. I think his time on Raw is running out. Smackdown Recap info provided by Justin "The Professional""Locura" Pratt There were only three matches. Two hours and only three matches. Did at least some vaguely wrestling activity account for this missing time? No, it did not. It was promo city. Such a show leads me to believe that a change in the writing team is underway. She’s coming back. But first, what happened? Sports Entertainment. Heyman announces that a celebration is planned for Eddie tonight. Kurt takes the mic and talks smack, Cena interrupts. They talk smack back and forth until Heyman makes a match for them against the Bashams. Kurt Angle and John Cena vs The Bashams minus Shaniqua Nice match, and some good interplay between Cena and Angle. They go after each other, but it doesn’t cost them the match. Cena picks up the pin. Rey Mysterio, Man’s Man Mysterio talks with Heyman and says he wants a shot. Heyman approves of Mysterio's professionalism and promises him a shot at Chavo if Chavo wins his match tonight against Eddie. Eddy’s Celebration Eddie cuts a strong promo as the balloons drop and the music plays. He’s interrupted by Chavo and Los Al Wilson. Chavo cuts a disrespectful promo on Eddie and promises to beat him. Well, this is how the feud between he two should have started in the first place. A month’s worth of angles is blown in the space of the promo. Chavo Sr as the special guest referee for tonight’s match. Now Chavo has a reason to be jealous. Both won, but Eddie gets the big celebration. Now Eddie has an opponent he can feud with for the first month of his title reign. But no, it’s déjà vu. Luckily, Chavo and Eddie has the skills to make it work. Holly vs Big Show Eh, Big Show wins. Cena challenges Show for the US belt at WM. Brock Lesnar, Pussification Complete Brock Lesnar, the man, monster and unstoppable force, begs Mr. McMahon for a match with Goldberg. He actually cries in the middle of the ring. Good grief. It’s a double whammy, it screwed Goldberg, since he’ll be facing a big pussy at WM, and it screws Brock, since he is a big pussy now, and it’ll be really hard to shake that image. Just ask Angle about wearing the goofy hat and singing goofy songs. Poor bastard. Chavo vs Eddie Surprise twist in the form of Chavo Sr being knocked out and Kurt Angle taking his spot as special ref. Good long match, that had some slow spots, but Chavo and Eddie work well together, and kept the match interesting. Solid work from both. Chavo Sr comes form the back after being dead, and accuses Angle of taking him out. Angle then turns heel once he knocks out Chavo Sr and refuses to count the pin attempt by Eddie. He then beats up Eddie and leaves hi laying. Final scene of the show is a bloodied Eddie with the belt just out of reach. Well, looks like there was a decision to wrap up the Eddie storyline. So they did it in one night. The rest of the angles were wiped clean, except for Cena/Show and Brock/Goldberg. I found it funny that WWE has been trying to conceal the Undertaker info, but then goes ahead and puts it on the cover of Smackdown magazine. Damn you magazine reporters and your "sources"! Stop leaking information to the masses! That’s our job! I’ve noticed a change in the shows recently, and I’m not alone. So I have some ideas as to what’s going on, but I’ll save it for OAW. It’ll be a hodge podge of thoughts , but should be interesting, and at least give ya something to think about before Raw goes on the air Monday. Wevv’s House (Next To The Cemetery) Kitchen Bossman enters, and walks to the fridge. He opens it and grumbles. Bossman: Man, there’s almost nothing left. I guess I’ll just have to make do. Bossman gets busy putting the scraps of food together into a sandwich. He smiles in satisfaction, picks up the plate, and turns around to confront a looming Big Show in the doorway. Big Show: That’s the last of the food isn’t it? Bossman: Yep, and I called it. Big Show: Not so fast Bossman. Big Show reveals from behind his back a remote control. With a dramatic flourish he presses a button. A whir and a click is hear, and a cabinet creaks open to reveal a net gun. The gun fires, and Bossman finds himself pinned against the cupboards. Big Show chuckles and moves to pick up the sandwich, which has fallen to the floor, but miraculously remains upright. As he bends over to pick it up, he fails to notice Bossman struggle to get a hand free, and pull out of his flak jacket a remote. He pushes the button. Big Show hears the whir of machinery and grunts in surprise as he is suddenly lifted off his feet and swinging in the middle of the kitchen, the sandwich just out of his reach. Bossman: I have a few tricks of my own Show. I’ll get free before you do. Big Show: Not likely. The support will snap before you get out of that net. Bossman: Doubtful, I had it specially reinforced. That sandwich is MINE! Big Show: It’ll be a cold day in hell when I let you get the better of me! Mark Henry then enters the kitchen, his arm in a sling. Mark Henry: Hey guys! Man, I’m hungry. All right! A Sandwich! Dibs! Mark Henry picks up the sandwich and walks out. Bossman and Big Show have astonished looks on their face as they watch him amble out. They turn to look at each other, and their expressions harden. With a silent agreement, they nod. Poor Mark, you really don’t want to get involved in their eons old sandwich feud. The last guy who did was Aldo Montoya, and where is he now? That’s right, off the face of the planet, wrestling the indies on Pluto. Over-Analyzing Wrestling Today’s Topic: Changes Steph is coming back, and she’s not coming alone. In recent newsblurbs, I’ve read that Brian Gerwitz has been involved in a lot of the Smackdown angles. That may be why the show has started sucking so hard. Smackdown has been feeling more and more like Raw. Lots of talking and what made the show good, the wrestling has taken a big hit as of this past PPV. It’s been inflicted with the mantra of "slowing the match down". That is a topic unto itself. With Bischoff facing McMahon soon, it looks like his time is done. So who can fill that role? Heyman. He’s been doing exceptionally well on Smackdown. Steph is coming back, no doubts about that. The question is on which show. I still think she’ll pop up on Smackdown. I think it would be better if she did. See, with the success of the Monday Night Wars DVD, and the constant shots at the other shows, I get the feeling that Vince wants to recreate that magic time. So, instead of a WCW vs WWE war, it’s going to be Smackdown vs Raw. That could be a good formula. Heyman and Steph work well against each other. There’s history there. H and Steph on one show would cause problems, being married and all. The locker room of Raw wouldn’t have a glass ceiling holding them back, it would be a concrete wall. Another clue could be the tag line to WM 20, "where it all begins again". A nice foreshadow of things to come. For storyline purposes, if Bischoff does quit That leaves a vacancy in the ranks of upper management. Paul has been gaining Vince’s favor on Smackdown, and with Raw running amok, Heyman can be made GM of both shows. The Board of Directors can intervene, thus creating a way to get Steph back on TV, and she can grab Heyman’s pride show of Smackdown. To help her run things, Bischoff can be brought back as her lackey. That’s my scenario, but I get the feeling that isn’t going to happen. See, that might be entertaining, and that’s the last thing on WWE’s mind. The Trish Jericho angle may be serving two purposes. It may be a template for a Steph-H angle. Then there’s Austin to consider. Heyman and Austin would be good, Steph and Austin would not. So which one is more likely to happen? Austin and Steph. Austin is now a member of the New Clique, and he’ll follow H’s lead. Sigh, so many possibilities and chances are that few will be good. Wrestling is a TV show, first and foremost. That’s the bread and butter of the business. No TV, and you’re just TNA with more money. House shows have become more akin to local fan fests, and they are fun, but not big money generators, at least not anymore. It’s time to start keeping the thought, first and foremost that it’s a TV show that happens to have wrestling on it. Follow the basic TV format. Have an idea where it’s all heading. WM is a final chapter in the year’s stories. It’s a time to start building for the next one. Or, at least, that’s the way I like to think of it. It’s the sweeps of wrestling. SumerSlam is the mid season. How does this line of thinking have to do with the change of writers and the return of Steph? Well, just that Steph and Gerwitz have no sense of planning. It’s all done on the fly. Gerwitz is the Saturday night live guy, one joke played to death and beyond, and Steph likes to use classic stories as a template and warp them into unrecognizable shapes. Remember Steph vs Vince? That was based on Cinderella. Noble vs Nidia? War of Roses (thanks Michael Cole). The timing is bad on all of these. Just watch Smackdown again. The plot twists could have carried the show into WM, but now we’re left hanging with nothing and 3 weeks to go. What to do to fill the void? Slap together any old angles lying around and throw it to the masses. Whoo-Hoo! Smell the hype for WM 20! Biggest show of the year, and the twentieth anniversary to boot! If Steph does go to Raw, it means that Gerwitz is now running the show on Smackdown, and that means that both shows are under the control of a person who I feel has little talent for writing. Make no mistake, Gerwirtz is a Steph flunky. He’ll do whatever she says, so long as his bad ass-based sketch segments make it to air. With Holly and Bradshaw to back him up, along with Taker, he’ll have few problems. Angle is also a McMahon flunky. Great wrestler, but still a flunky. You know, it makes me wonder. What if Vince dropped dead? Would Steph get control of the company? Also, how many horrible Steph ideas has Vince nixed? I guess I should be grateful to Vince, since is the guy with the final say. I’ve seen what Steph can do, and it isn’t good, and if she were in charge, who knows what might happen on my TV? Now, that is something to think about. What if Steph were in charge? I’m not even sure I really want to think about that. Sorry that was short OAW I can only see the beginnings of a pattern here, and will have to wait to see what happens. Random thoughts, and then plugs. Big Show, Jericho, Trish Stratus and Eddie Guerrero will be appearing on Mad TV. This is a huge chance for these stars to shine. The one I’m worried about not making a good impression is Eddie. He’s not used to the TV circuit like the rest. Performing inside a wrestling ring is different from performing on a set. It will be interesting to see how he does. Anytime Big Show makes an outside appearance on TV is a treat for me. The guy is just damn good. Go get em Big Show, and give Eddie a hand will ya? Chyna and X-Pac are back together. Really, what can you add? Best of luck to both of them. Just don’t breed, please. One thing to watch in the coming weeks. If Heyman does appear on Raw, and the rumors of the revival of ECW are true, then Heyman will be reunited with RVD. Who was the main guy in ECW? RVD. Who would be the logical choice to build a new ECW around? RVD. Keep your eyes peeled. PLUGS! Busy week here at LOP. Everyone showed up and made it a great week to think about wrestling. In fact, there’s too many to plug, so I will take a week off from plugging. Well, columns at least. Sorry folks, but too much HTML makes Wevv loopy. I will however plug some other things. Spong Monkeys. That’s what those damn things are in those Quiznos commercials. Damn Brits. Here’s an article about it, so you can find out more. I’m just amazed that some one saw them, and thought "You know? Those creepy things will really sell some sandwiches! Book ‘em Danno!" Watch out, they’re right up Vince’s alley. Spong Monkeys LOP Forums! LOP Columns Forum! The finals are here for the King OF The Columns Forum! Log in and Vote NOW! Xanman or DoubleHelix! Who will win? TinaAli makes another appearance in the forums. Winter is building the WM review to the big 2-0. The Postman has some preliminary predictions up for WM 20. That’s it for today. Bossman, Big Show, get the hearse ready. Throw some Twinkies to Mark, and we can escape in peace. Until Next Time, Thanks For Reading and Thanks For Ridin, Wevv Mang mrwevv@mac.com *NEW GALLERY* Hot Photos of Shawn Michaels' Wife Rebecca!!
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