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Submitted by Dumass on Wednesday, February 18, 2004 at 1:25 AM EST
Well...Well...Well.... ________________ Ernest "The Cat" Miller was informed by WWE officials that he was being released from the company Tuesday afternoon at the Smackdown tapings after everyone attended the weekly meeting. Most superstars are not surprised by the news, since they felt that Miller wasn't going out of his way to try and improve his in-ring skills, despite most people’s opinion that his wrestling arsenal was "lacking" I'll be one of the first to say that I liked 'The Cat' in his times in WCW. He was pretty entertaining for my tastes and had a good handle on things with the in-ring ability; but I do thank the WWE for getting rid of him. Thank you WWE, thank you. Now SOMEBODY CALL MY MOMMA!!! Triple H is reportedly pushing for a quick end to his feud with Benoit, while also politicking to have Edge return to RAW after WrestleMania. HHH is very interested in a program with Edge after the big March PPV. This just shows that Benoit will be thrown to the lions like all the other men who have gotten in Triple H's way. I don't know what to think on this. On the one hand, Benoit is a incredible wrestler and can make anyone look like a million bucks. On the other hand, he came out on his first Raw to chants and screams.....then he picked up the mic and suddenly it was like a cartoon; you could hear the crickets churping in the background. It's like I said a few months ago, Chris Benoit doesn't have enough drawing power to pay me to see him, but neither does Triple H. Chris Benoit is a odd case because he always gets a good crowd reaction, but if you saw him on the top of the card, you wouldn't spend the money to see him. Triple H is like that right now; hence why there is no one heading to see the Raw brand house shows. We're at a stalemate, and it won't be solved at Wrestlemaina. Although things could change, Vince McMahon's recent appearances on RAW and SmackDown! are not expected to indicate a full-time return for McMahon to TV just yet. Him showing up three weeks in a row could have fooled me. However, despite making his in-ring return, don't expect Mick to follow in Shawn Michael's footsteps and resume a regular schedule with the WWE after Wrestlemania. It is expected that Foley will only work a few big PPV matches every now and then when needed, though there could be a chance he might also work a few Raw shows as well. Mick, I know you're reading. Get out while you still can! They're milking you for all your worth, and when you're in a wheelchair or something and you're expecting Vince to get the tab on your Extra Value Meal at McDonalds, he'll jip you out of it and leave you covering the bill. A source who has seen the script for RAW tonight informed us that tonight's RAW looks absolutely "awesome" on paper. Whether everything will develop greatly remains to be seen. That had to be the funniest thing I've read all week. What's next? -------------------- WWE Raw writers: How about a Bra and Panties match with Shane Douglas vs Kamala? Coffee Boy: Woah! That's gnarly!!! --------------------- Vince McMahon is extremely interested in getting Bret Hart to return for WrestleMania, and contacted him recently. Vince currently wants Bret to either have a role in the triple-threat World Title Match, or to attend the Hall Of Fame ceremony. Since Bret is against working storylines, he is not too high on getting involved in the title match, but is still interested in making a farewell speech at the event. Right when Bret is about to speak, Vince will run down the ramp screaming "Ring da daymn bell!!!!" and Bret will weep sliently as everyone is laughing at him. It's funny cause it's true. You know, I noticed something in my years of watching wrestling last night. I noticed that alot of fans really do care about this sport. It was interesting to say the least; especially when I was completely convinced that I was the only one that didn't care about backstage politics and random Triple H bullshit. I realized that I was in a place that was created to hold a change in wrestling. I was in a place that completely erased my doubts and nightmares of the WWE dying in 2 years time. I was where a new era begin. I was at WWE's No Way Out. Everyone else wants to be at Madison Square Garden; I wanted to be in the Cow Palace. Now, I know the importance of the Garden. I've been there myself to witness some great wrestling, but nothing comes close to being in the Cow Palace for me. I grew up about 15 blocks from the Palace, over on the number streets and Mission and it was a blast when something big was coming to the Palace. It was the first time for everything in that place for me. It was where I went to my first concert (U2, 1985), it's where I first saw an elephant (Ringling Bros., 1987), and it when I first watched a wrestling event live (WWF, 1988). I've always felt close with the Cow Palace and last night, at No Way Out, I was witnessed to another "first" in WWF/E and wrestling history. I witnessed the first Latino to ever win the WWF/E World Championship in 30 years and I witnessed the first time the wrestling business used excessive and un-needed playing of the race card to promote a PPV. Welcome to San Francisco. ------------------------- The WWE created a saving grace last night. They made something that was seriously not considered by many and looked damn impossible to everyone; they made a believable marketable champion out of Eddy Guerarro and sold it to the right crowd last night. I was one of the first to congradulate Eddy for his win by rushing to the railing and giving him his props before security dragged me back to my seat (which wasn't that bad). The whole night was huge, as would be expected from the 'not-from-bored-Mideastern-or-Eastern-U-S-A-because-every-show-is-held-there' area of San Fran. There were actually many parties and such for the PPV. I could have entered a random hispanic house and they would be drinking and chanting 'EDDY!! EDDY!', as if the great El Santo had come back from the dead. It was indeed a great night for wrestling for us here in the West (I make the distinction because it's guarenteed that some people who watched the PPV from somewhere else will say it 'suxed ma jor donkey balzz~!!@!!#@). The heat was incredible all night (except for the Holly/Rhyno match, in which I got an ECW and BORING chant going), epecially with the Rey/Chavo match. The biggest pops of the night (except for Eddy winning) were John Cena, who was really hot all night, and Rey Rey. Goldberg chants rang across the arena and when the Jackhammer on Brock happened, the crowd loved it; I personally think they should have saved it before the main event, but that's me. Nidia was looking lovely as she always does and I thank the wrestling gods that Jamie Noble did NOT lose this match. The Greatest Tag Team/APA match could have been avoided, but it was a good thing since I had to take a piss. The dark match of Ultimo/London/Kidman against the new Kaientai should have been shown to the folks at home and would have set a good mood for the PPV in general. My rating on the PPV? 4 OUT OF 5. Yea, that's about right. -------------------------------- First off, I want to make it clear that I may be overstating and over-analyzing the facts, so take this with a grain of salt. Coming in to the Cow Palace, I heard the promo on the radio for the PPV and they were, of course, playing the song 'Crossing Borders' which was Rey Misterio's theme song. Now, my friend (who is as redneck racist as you can get) and I make a few jokes about the Rey song and how Mexican wrestlers suck and such until it hit me. The WWE, in order to promote to the Hispanic people in the city and country, dropped a race bomb in a city that they knew wouldn't complain about it. Now, if you've never been to the Cow Palace or San Francisco in general, then you're in the loof about this. San Francisco has a majority of Hispanic and Latin people living it in (and that is mostly immigrant) and almost all of them live in broken down homes and buildings that are next to the Cow Palace. The song to promote the PPV, 'Crossing Borders', by title alone, shows that the WWE insulted the Hispanic community in this city. Hell, the song even degrades Rey Misterio because he's 'crossing borders' from Mexico and the U.S.A. Now it may just be me, but I'm pretty sure that we're in a bit of a bind with Mexico because of this whole immigrant-trading thing that apparently this whole country hates, and Vince McMahon decides to make a mockery of a huge Hispanic city by having very hurtful promos to attack the Latino community (Brock last week, though funny, was not needed at all), using a song called 'Crossing Borders' to promote a PPV to a large Latino area, and, though he does deserve it and I am proud of him, have the Latino face win the title. To me, that's a little too shady for a wrestling company. sucking completely. I was pretty angry, and recently, it was something I've been thinking about all week. ------------------------------------- Retro-Dumass: I was watching one of my ECW DVDs (Best Of Cactus Jack) and I came across one of Mick Foley's promos. The DVD dial read "Ch.11 - Time: 1hr 53min." and he gave a promo about how bad hardcore wrestling is to a human body. He mentions Ray Stevens and his heart problems, Harley Race and his broken body, Dynamite Kid and his ruined career, and Eddie Gilbert and his death. He goes on to tell Tommy Dreamer (who the promo was directed to) to stop wrestling hardcore-style. The fans of ECW don't care about what happens to you, yet you go out there and give everything and they don't thank you for it. I watched this promo wondering whether or not it's true. Do the fans care if a wrestler is broken in two? Do the fans care if a wrestler would just drop over and just stop moving? Would the fans care if a wrestler, who gave up the best years of their life; who gave up seeing their children grow; who got married and instead of taking much needed time off to be with their loved one; just died in the middle of the ring? We all know what happened to Owen Hart and Mike DiBiase (he died in the ring during a match), but do we feel sorry for the wrestlers when we cry out, or do we feel sorry for ourselves because we wouldn't see them wrestle any longer? That's a question that I've been pondering for quite some time now. Mick goes on to make another promo in Ch. 12. This time, he's calm and jokingly shows us what "hardcore" means. He shows us some home movies and comically shows us that he has lost teeth and an ear. And you laugh at all of this because it's pretty funny. For fuck's sake, he's using the microphone wire as dental floss for his front teeth! That's an "America's Funniest Home Videos" ratings grabber!! LOL! And trying to wear glasses and the right side won't stay up because he doesn't have an ear there; come on, that's WAY too funny! But, then you watch the promo that he gives after all the laughs and the funnies, and he's completely different. See, when Mick was doing all the funny stuff and making us laugh and smile, he was being Mick Foley. And I've met him on several occasions and I'll be first in line to say that this man has one hell of a sense of humor, but I also know that during that promo where he mentions his ear being thrown in the trash in Munich after that bloody match against Vader; that was also Mick Foley. When you talk to him about wrestling, he is very emotional. He is very emotional when you talk to him about how wrestling is today. This man lives, eats, sleeps, shits, shoots up, and fucks wrestling. He will mention everything that wrestling shouldn't be without thinking twice. He is a "smark". His last promo in the WWF was a shoot promo in many ways. Remember that? When he completely told the world that the WWF is going down the shithole? That was fun. I couldn't believe that anyone would say that. The WWF horrible? Sure they screwed up a few times in the past. I've lived through it. I lived through the Lex and D-X Express. I've lived through WM IX. I've lived through the untimely death of the credibility of the WCW title when it was won by fucking David Arcqutte. I've seen wrestling through its Shockmasters and its Dungeon of Dooms. There was no way I'd give up wrestling; especially the WWF. Well, my dad always told me, "Boy, never trust anything that you love; because it'll bite you in the ass when you're praising it the most." My dad was fucking Socrates. --------------------------------------- Well, that's all. I'll make it up to you all in my next column, I promise. Thanks for reading, Eat a bag of hell, Dumass Lethal Wrestling: Do wrestlers go to heaven? *NEW GALLERY* She's Still XTREME! Hot New Pix of Former WWE Diva BROOKE ADAMS!!!
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