Stuck in the Middle With You - The Most Extensive DVD Review in the History of LOP: Wrestling's Future Stars: PART 1 OF 2
Submitted by Da J-Train on Saturday, January 31, 2004 at 11:28 PM EST



Welcome back to my column everyone. Well, I am finally back to my usual Saturday posting day! How good did it feel when you logged on to LOP today and saw yet another column by this hot slab of man? I’ll bet it felt good. No? Oh well. At least I try.


Well, I am back with the Most Extensive DVD Review in the History of LOP. You see, back in the Post Christmas Fallout, I went to Best Buy and bought a bunch of DVD’s. You see, I love movies... even more than wrestling. I intend to go into that field for a career. Well, in the midst of my search, I stumbled upon a DVD entitled Wrestling’s Future Stars, which is a DVD that featured OVW matches by wrestlers who are currently full time WWE superstars. Being a supporter and follower of OVW, I was intrigued; however, the price listing was way over what I was willing to pay. You see, my DVD collection is extensive, but I rarely buy wrestling DVD’s because I feel they have little rewatch value. The only one I have is ECW Evolution. However, my friend got me a massive discount on the DVD, so I paid like $8 for it.


Like I said, I am a follower of OVW; however, by follower I mean I follow the matches by what info I can get online. You see, we don’t get OVW TV here in Syracuse, so this DVD is the actual first OVW showing I have experienced. However, I have a good knowledge of the superstars themselves, so I decided to pick it up.


So what is on tap for this column? All in all, it is a 2 Part Column. The meat of the column is the DVD review, in which I will review the DVD as an entity, then match by match, then an overall grade. However, I will split the column in two. In the first part, (This Column), I will do the normal Feedback O Rama, followed by the review of the DVD as an entity and a review of half of the matches on the DVD. Part 2, which will be posted a week from today, will cover the last half of the matches, the overall DVD grade, and will end with the usual Random Stops Along the Way, Free Flowing Hostility, and The Caboose. So, that’s how it will work… Let’s get it started.



BUT FIRST...



Letters! I get Letters! I get sacks and sacks of Letters! LETTERS!!! That's right; it's time to answer some of my Love, Hate, Kind-Of-Care-For, and I-Only-Like-You-as-A-Friend-Mail… This section is proof that I DO in fact get mail on Sundays.



Feedback O Rama


Letter 1 :

Hey

Great column looking at the stereotypes in wrestling. I actually did one myself a few months back but in as much detail as you. As someone who is mixed race (black and white) I can tell you that I at least have never been offended by anything the WWE has done with Booker T or Teddy Long. Actually I really enjoy Teddy and his racist angles, as he's a believable character who obviously does not represent black people as whole. The things I find more offensive are things like having Samoan wrestlers act like cannibals (Headshrinkers) or that whole Saba Simba (is that right?) thing.

I think on the whole stereotypes do more good than bad in wrestling, as everyone knows that they're only there for entertainment and should not be taken seriously. Besides, who doesn't love the sneaky Japanese stereotype.

Great stuff

Winter


Hey Winter,

Thanks for the feedback, and by the way, you have been doing great stuff in the Columns forum and should be called up soon I hope. In the mean time, sure, stereotypes may not necessarily be bad. Just like you said, who doesn’t like the sneaky Japanese stereotype and I also love Teddy Long, I was just trying to explore the issue. READ WINTER’S COLUMN, LET IT SNOW, IN THE COLUMNS FORUM



Letter 2 :

another great colum, I too am sterotyped, I'am visually impaired and the only problem I really have about that is because Nidia, yes I undertand she isn't blind and yes I understand that she's not blind I just don't want to see some 14 year old kid the impression that completly blind or visually impaired people have to depend on everyone else though life... ok now that I've got that cleared up...

Well I hope you like college my gf went it there was so much to do around there besides school she enjoyed it.

Have a good one take care and study.
Rob.


Hey Rob,

Thanks for the feedback. It was a very interesting letter. With that being said, let me ask you… if you are visually impaired, how did you read my column and then type out a response? Don’t get me wrong… I am sensitive to your impairment, and I am NOT ripping on you or trying to be an asshole, I am only wondering how that whole thing worked. In the mean time, thanks for the words of encouragement.



Letter 3 :

First let me say that Stereotypes in Wrestling has been going on for over 50 years. Russians always were heels. Arabs always were heels. Blacks have mostly played dumb gimmicks. Its been going on for a long time.

Now I hate to say this, but if Benoit wins the Belt this year, chances are he will only hold it for 3 months MAX.

Now I know people bash Triple H on how he has a ton of backstage power, but remember, Ric OVERRATED Flair did the same stuff in NWA/WCW. But yet today, people call him one of the greatest. I guess the Internet wasn't around back then for people to know the stuff he did, unless you read a dirtsheet back then. So he is treated different.

Oh yeah, only a small percent of people hate Goldberg cause he WCW made to counter Austin in 98. But yet Goldberg gets more pops than most people from RAW. I'm sorry, but guys like Lance Storm and Christian will never get as many pops as Goldberg. Its like how it was back in WCW. You knew Benoit was better ring skills wise than Hacksaw Jim Duggan. But Duggan always got louder pops than Benoit ever did.


XHopper777


XHopper777,

I fully understand how long stereotypes have been around in wrestling. I wasn’t necessarily saying this stuff was a new thing, I was simply exploring the reasons why stereotyping exists in wrestling.

I also expect Benoit to hold the title for 3 months tops, but I also expect him to hold the title more than once in the year of 2004. The fans expect and accept it and there have been way too many signs and rumors that 2004 will be the year of Benoit.

It’s bold of you to say that Ric Flair is overrated. I won’t call it ignorant because it’s your opinion, but it is very bold. I think that it says something about all of these wrestlers of all years and generations who constantly pay homage to Ric Flair and show him respect for being a legend. For someone who has done the same things that HHH is doing right now and get 100 times more respect than HHH, I think, says something. To be honest, I don’t think it’s the championships he has won or longevity of any reigns he has had that makes him considered to be one of the greatest. I think it has to do with the numerous excellent matches he has had throughout his career, his stance as one of the better technical wrestlers throughout the course of wrestling history, and being a bench mark on how the heel role can be all but perfected. I think that’s what makes him one of the greatest, not any titles he won or how he won them using backstage pull. HHH doesn’t get that respect because he is not as good as he used to be and he is basically either a shell of his former self or a poor caricature of Flair himself. But hey that’s my opinion… and you’re right, I never read the dirt sheets… I was too busy enjoying childhood.

Look, my dislike for Goldberg goes WAY beyond him being an obvious copy of Steve Austin. I think, since in the last few Feedback sections people have asked me, I may make it into a column later. But seriously, Goldberg getting pops does not mean jack shit. It does not mean anything other than that he has a fan base and guess what? Lance Storm and Benoit have a fan base too. Ok sure, he is over with the fans, but so what? Anyone can get over with the fans, it doesn’t mean shit if you can’t draw, which he obviously can’t do anymore. At the same time, I hardly think Benoit or Storm would draw as a champ, but there is a difference between Goldberg and say, Benoit.

The thing is, Goldberg may get pops, but I seem to remember those pops dying for Goldberg really, really fast. I am a firm believer that it wasn’t Goldberg who was over in WCW, it was the streak. I think ANYONE could have gotten over with that streak if they had an impressive look. They weren’t cheering Goldberg himself; they were cheering the guy who had the massive winning streak, who happened to be named Goldberg. I also seem to remember Goldberg’s pops dying after the streak ended. No one else seems to remember that, but I sure do. I remember signs that said Getting OldBerg, and I remember it got to the point where Goldberg chants were piped in. So they tried to turn him heel and that didn’t work because he is a One Dimensional Wrestler, and just ask the Ultimate Warrior, you can’t put the title on a One Dimensional Wrestler for a prolonged amount of time… the fans get bored, like they did with Goldberg.

Benoit on the other hand, didn’t need a streak to get over with the fans. He wrestled his way to the top and, after a while, the fans respected his hard work and chose to cheer him. He will not get boring. He has so many different layers to him. Maybe I’m crazy, but I think that a person who can stay over for a long period of time without getting stale with a steady core of fans is much better business wise than a guy with a huge group of fans at one time and the group dwindles over time because he becomes boring and stale. That’s Goldberg for you. But hey, we obviously have different views when it comes to wrestling, and thanks for the feedback



Alright, enough of this wonderful male bonding, it's time to get to the topic of my column:



The Most Extensive DVD Review in the History of LOP: Wrestling’s Future Stars Review


Part 1: DVD Review

The first part of this review is to review the DVD as a whole. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting much out of a wrestling DVD, especially one that is not produced by the WWE. So, my initial reaction was that the features and the values of the DVD as a whole would be quite raw. To be honest, I think I got what I expected and much less.


Externally, the DVD looks very less than could be desired. To be honest, I would never think to ever pick it up if I were just going by judging a book by its cover. The title of the DVD is plastered across the top in some kind of futuristic, detached text. Very corny. Even cornier is that to the right of the title is a big bold statement that says: The Future of Pain!!... a tagline which makes me want to scream, I am not 7 years old anymore, these people don’t hurt each other for real, get over it. Below that, is the body of OVW’s Leviathan, or as we know him as, WWE’s Batista. We can see his face, but his body is silhouetted. Inside the lines of his body is Randy Orton and Rico looking badass across where Batista’s chest would be, Prototype (John Cena) at the waist area, with a hybrid scared and disappointed look, and at the arms of the silhouette are Flash Flanagan and Ron Waterman… both developmental failures. Trust me; despite the imminent sounding of homosexuality in my description, it is a cool picture… however it is tough to buy this DVD as a true future of the business if you know that Flash and Waterman didn’t make it. Oh well. The cover also boasts a commentary by Dave Meltzer and Jim Cornette and a Leviathan Music Video. Great… just great. I get to enjoy a shitty music video. La De Da. On the back, there are some pictures of Brock Lesnar, Rob Conway, and the Disciples of Synn, along with a match listing and an explanation of what OVW is all about. It also explains that this compilation was made in 2001, so that explains why the DVD seems to be under the impression that Flash and Waterman would make it.


The DVD itself starts with the most annoying of all things a DVD can do… not allowing the viewer to skip past the annoying FBI Warning screens and other production presenting screens. Once those are done, we are treated to a very decent animated background behind the menu selection. This is certainly a perk to something I didn’t expect on a DVD so seemingly raw. There is even action in some of the shots. However, for some strange reason, there are picture of D’Lo Brown, and who look like Chris Candido, and Too Cool at the menu. What the fuck? Maybe they have some kind of strange connection to the DVD. Anyway, the choices to choose from are to play, chapter list, a photo gallery, audio commentary, and Shakin the Devil’s Hand. Some of these options are self explanatory. However, I want to elaborate on two of them.


The Photo Gallery is a truly irrelevant feature of this DVD. It has absolutely nothing to do with the subject manner. In not one of these pictures is anyone whom the DVD focuses on, except, of course, Jim Cornette. In the mean time, we are treated to pictures of early versions of D’Lo Brown and Too Cool, but we then go to people like Chris Candido, The Gangstas (New Jack and Mustafa) and then to other random people like Jeff Jarrett, Arn Anderson, Cactus Jack, Terry Funk, and the Rock N Roll Express. I mean… wouldn’t you think they would put pictures of OVW superstars of the DVD on here? The whole feature was irrelevant and stupid.


Shakin the Devil’s Hand is just as stupid, but not nearly as irrelevant. At least it features an OVW Superstar… but it is one of the dumbest, most asinine things I have ever seen concerning wrestling, and I just hope and pray that it was never brought out into the public on an OVW show. Shakin the Devil’s Hand is a music video which features OVW’s Leviathan. Pretty much the basis of the music video is that Synn needs protection because she has been attacked by people like B.J. Payne and Damaja, so she conjures up Leviathan… and by conjure, I mean putting dust and a gingerbread man onto a fire, and then Leviathan rises up from a graveyard. Did I say rise? I meant he was already lying down behind a grave and he just kind of sat up, and then walked through the woods and near a river… all in his wrestling gear. In the mean time, they show clips of him beating up on OVW Wrestlers and basically doing Synn’s bidding. The whole thing is extremely stupid… even for fans of Batista/Leviathan. It’s one of those things that make me rethink my whole status as a wrestling fan.


But wait, we are not nearly finished… now it’s time for part two!



Part 2: Match Review


Quick Intro: Now what I’m going to do is review each match on the DVD. The review is simple. I will be giving these matches star rankings out of 5 as it corresponds to this DVD… so I don’t want anyone emailing me saying... you gave this match 5 stars! It’s nowhere near as good as Angle/Benoit etc. etc. No, the star system is only applicable to this DVD as a whole, so if I were to give a match 5 stars, it would mean that it is one of the best matches on the DVD. So… here we go.


Match 1: B.J. Payne vs. Flash: Hardcore Rules


Hooray, this DVD will start out with a hardcore match… between two people the WWE audience don’t care about and will probably see on a mainstream show! The match starts out with each wrestler with their own weapon (Payne/Bull rope, Flash/Stop Sign). Payne starts out choking Flash and punches him causing a rope tangle. Payne then pulls a Kane and clips a pair of jumper cables to Flash’s nuts and proves to everyone that a good, old fashioned testicle charging never loses its wit and stupidity upon multiple viewings. Eventually, Payne does a beautiful clothesline to Flash over the top rope causing them both to flip, but Payne lands it. Well… there’s some unexpected agility.

The fight goes on outside the ring until it reaches… you guessed it… the concession stand. Now, this is where I realize I have to watch this DVD with either the commentary on, or the sound off. You see, Flash throws hot coffee into the face of Payne and proceeds to put a metal bucket on his head and hit the bucket with a small metal object that looks a lot like a spoon. The whole thing was fine, I suppose, and weak looking, however, Jim Cornette is screaming that Flash has just his Payne with a wrench or a pipe. Hell, even if it was a wrench, it looks like one that comes with a Tonka truck. After another excellent Payne back body drop, they end up in the women’s bathroom. Now, I am going to let you all in on a secret… when scripting a hardcore match, you must use THIS bathroom formula to open up a can of hilarity that rivals a great George Carlin show: The door of the bathroom closes and the ref stands there dumb founded… suddenly the door opens and a scared women runs screaming out! Hee! Then the door opens again and out stumbles Flash with the top part of the toilet on his head! Hee X2!

We go back to the ring where Flash the Joker still has the toilet top on his head and Payne is on the prowl. He adds more hysterics to the mixture by closing the toilet on Flash’s head several times and hitting him with a nice DDT. You know, take away the really stupid novelty offense, and Payne is pretty impressive in this match. Payne leaves the ring and comes back with a gigantic slab of wood… not a table, a gigantic slab of wood, but ever the technician, Flash reverses Payne’s attempt and put him through the slab. Flash begins my imminent hatred of himself by connecting with the weakest chair shot ever and pretty much boring me to death with stupid ways of using the chair. Flash beats on Payne some more and goes for a sunset flip, which is countered with a nice slab shot. Both men get up to their feet and I mark out because B.J. Payne hits The Paynekiller which is a basic, but sweet move. It’s basically a tilt a whirl side slam with an extra half of a rotation so Flash lands on his front instead of his back. That only gets a 2 count. Payne misses a Lo Down and Flash grabs a ladder, and in the best spot of the match, he hits the Whiplash (Blockbuster) from the top for the win.

I don’t care about the last spot, I still hate Flash, but B.J. Payne was kind of impressive in this opening bout. Winner: Flash. Rating: ***



Match 2: Nick Dinsmore vs. Rico Constantino


We are told before the match that Nick Dinsmore is the best technical wrestler in OVW and that Rico is just completing a heel turn. Rico is rawkin the mullet as we start off. We have some wrist lock combinations from both wrestlers as Jim Cornette discusses his disappointment that Rico is no longer a role model. I wonder how he feels now. Anyway, more wrist locks continue and Dinsmore pulls out something I never expected. About 2 or so years before Eddie Guererro did it; Dinsmore hits the Trifecta Triple Suplex! Awesome! To add to the excitement, he counters a Rico clothesline with a Crippler Crossface, however, Rico blocks it with his hands. It is said that Dinsmore/Benoit is going to happen a month from the time of the match, and I have heard that that match was one of the best OVW matches ever. Anyway, Rico reverses the crossface into a Cobra Clutch, and once he stands up with it, Dinsmore reverses back into a Crippler Crossface, but Rico got the ropes. Dinsmore attacks Rico in the corner with some European Uppercuts and some Mudhole kicks and Rico rolls out of the ring. Excellent start!

Dinsmore gets pulled out of the ring and meets Rico’s Flair chops. Rico tries to whip Dinsmore into a brick wall that is just randomly at ringside, but Dinsmore blocks by kicking off of the wall and reversing Rico’s Irish whip into some Flair chops of his own. Dinsmore throws Rico back into the ring, but gets his head thrown into the steel holding up the turnbuckle, followed by a kick to the head. It’s strange to see these people sell the turnbuckle steel as a dangerous thing, since it is used so often in the WWE, but it shows you how well these two are doing because I am actually buying this. Rico pulls down his knee pad to expose a knee brace, which Cornette explains is a metal knee brace, and he leg drops Dinsmore, who sells as if is larynx was just crushed. Rico gets a two count and the crowd starts chanting “Go Nick Go”. Rico gives Dinsmore a move whose name escapes me right now (Vertical Suplex, but jumps forward instead of falling backwards).

Rico goes for the Cobra Clutch again and Dinsmore reverses into a back suplex. The crowd is into Nick again, and he knocks down Rico with some punches. Dinsmore hits a weak looking Missile Dropkick and it knocks both down. Well, that was a little disappointing considering Nick’s execution has been right on so far. Dinsmore hits his German Suplex, and then Rico’s goons, the Bolin Services come in and take out Nick. The ref sees it and calls for the bell. Booooo DQ! Rico and Bolin’s Services beats the crap out of him until… ugh… Flash comes in and helps out.

That was a great technical battle. No flash or glitz or glamour, just a decent amount of time of good old fashioned wrestling. The match was a little off at times and the DQ finish didn’t help. Winner: Nick Dinsmore. Match rating: ****



Match 3: The Minnesota Stretching Crew (Brock Lesnar and Shelton Benjamin) vs. the Disciples of Synn (Payne and Damien)


Lesnar and Benjamin are decked out all in gold and we are reminded by Cornette that they are former teammates. Payne is B.J. Payne from the first match, and Damien is a strange looking person. Anyway, Damien and Benjamin start off the match. Wrist locks and fast paced action are going on with Benjamin hitting a back body drop and a big superkick early on in the match. Benjamin tags in the future Next Big Thing, and they give him a nasty double choke slam/flapjack move. Damien eye rakes Lesnar and tags in Payne who gets clotheslined by Lesnar immediately. Lesnar tags in Benjamin who dropkicks Payne from behind into a Lesnar powerslam, then Damien comes in, but Lesnar powerslams him right next to Payne, and immediately Shelton Benjamin hits a double running Great Mutaesque elbow drop for the 2 count.

Benjamin has Payne in the head lock, but Damien gets a blind tag. Benjamin is whipped off the ropes and he leapfrogs Payne, but is caught into another Irish whip by Damien, and on the way back is hit by Payne with the PAYNEKILLER! I love that move and he does it so well. Damien then his Benjamin with a few elbows and gets a two count. Damien tags in Payne and whips Benjamin off the ropes. Benjamin jumps over a laying down Damien right into a Payne Powerslam. Good teamwork by both teams so far. Payne beats up on Benjamin in the corner like Steve Austin as he tags Damien back in and they whip Benjamin into the corner. Payne hits Benjamin with a Stinger Splash and whips him back into Damien who hits the Spinebuster for a two count. Yet another tag and Payne is now in. He chokes Benjamin in the corner. He tags in Damien and they whip Benjamin into the ropes but he hits a double cross body on the way back. Benjamin gets on the top rope and does a mid air flip clear over both Payne and Damien and gets the tag in to Lesnar. Wow!

Lesnar comes in the ring like a house of fire. He takes them both out, but it seems like he may be going too fast or Payne is taking too long because he keeps having to call over Payne for each move. It’s pretty noticeable. Anyway, Lesnar hits them both with two picture perfect Overhead Belly to Belly suplexes and slaps Payne in the PerfectPlex for two. Now all four wrestlers are in the ring, but so is Synn and she sprays mace into the eyes of Shelton Benjamin which causes a DQ… ARGH. However, Brock Lesnar hits her with a nasty powerbomb and Damien maces him. The Disciples of Synn are beating up on The Minnesota Stretching Crew. Oh Yah? Yah. Anyway, who should come down? Well Mr. Shakin the Devil’s Hand himself Levia… I mean Batist… I mean Leviathan! He throws everyone out of the ring and hits a cool DDT on a ring hand. Cornette mentions that Leviathan has a future match against Kane. I’m telling you, I am digging Leviathan as an unstoppable force. It really works. Leviatista stomps and growls a lot while Synn says stupid stuff, then Dave Leviathan talks about Kane’s eternal life in the fires of hell and then, yes, stomps and growls some more

I liked the match. It was a good tag match with some good tag moves by both teams. I am surprised that the WWE hasn’t given B.J. Payne a better shot because he hasn’t done much to disappoint me thus far. Bad finish lowers the rating. Winners: The Minnesota Stretching Crew Match Rating: ****



Match 4: Randy Orton vs. Mr. Black in a Hardcore Title Match


Well, we get our first look at young Randy Orton in a hardcore match against Bolin Services’ Head of Security, Mr. Black. For those of you who don’t know, Mr. Black is really big and he’s going up against Randy Orton who is… well… Randy Orton. Speaking of Orton, he starts out with some punches, but is eventually whipped into the corner. Black tries a Vader Splash, but the cunning young stallion gets his knees up and follows that up with a dropkick that sends Black out of the ring. While Black is out of the ring, Orton goes and gets an assortment of weapons that you are guaranteed to find in two places… a Home Depot and a WWE Style Hardcore Match. Yes, we’re talking about the trashcans, the trashcan lids, but hey, at least we have an aluminum baseball bat, which Orton uses and only gets a two count. I can see where THIS one is going.

Before I go on, I have to say that Mr. Black is the most uncharismatic wrestler I have ever seen, and if you think the hoss situation in the WWE is bad now, be thankful HE never made it to the show. Not too much to recap now because it’s the basic weak punch-weak punch-weapon shot match. However, Orton decides to pull an Al Snow and pull the ever so humorous bowling ball roll to the nuts routine. Do I really need to recap the rest? Here’s all you need to know: The momentum switches and Randy Orton gets his ass kicked with a variety of weapons. The heels try to cheat and Orton gets the best of them. Orton hits his finisher, which is a full nelson slam, but he lays down with it like The Rock’s Rock Bottom It is also the move I used when I wrestled in my backyard.

Weak match. It didn’t showcase any of Orton’s skills and it was the stereotypical WWE Hardcore match. No decent uses of the weapons either short of the bowling ball spot. Easily worse than the first hardcore match. Winner and NEW Hardcore Champion (foreshadowing??): Randy Orton. Match Rating: 1/2 of a Star



Match 5: Randy Orton vs. Rico Constantino


The match starts out immediately with the two just going at it, but Rico gets the initial momentum. He takes out Orton with punches in the corner and showboats to the crowd, allowing Orton to get control. I can tell that Orton does a lot of basic moves… then again, he is a rookie at the time of this DVD, and so it’s no big deal. He whips Rico into the turnbuckle twice then hits a nice press slam. Rico backs up and calls for time out, but kicks Orton in the stomach for not only momentum, but because Orton was stupid enough to fall for it. Rico has the momentum for about 3 seconds until Orton reverses a snap mare with a snap mare of his own, followed by two dropkicks, and a horrid looking cross body. Basic, basic, basic.

Orton attempts an arm wrench, because, you know, he likes to vary his offense with innovation, but Rico reverses it into the Regal Cutter. You know, the move that William Regal did where he wrapped the arm around the neck and dropped? Yeah, well, he did that move and it was a cool counter. Anyway, Rico continues beating down on Orton and eventually hits two consecutive back drops for a two count. Rico uses the ropes to choke and guillotine him. Orton tries to come back, but when he whips Rico off of the ropes, Rico counters with his WWE move, the Rico Spinning Kick. Rico showboats to the crowd and in a classic heel move, blatantly chokes Orton. Rico hits a suplex for two. Orton gets thrown into the turnbuckle and Rico showboats some more then went for the monkey flip, but is thrown off by Orton.

Both wrestlers struggle to their feet and once they get there, they trade blows. Wow, that can really be taken a different way concerning Rico these days. Orton hits a running punch and a super atomic drop, followed by a back body drop. I have never seen These moves before. Orton hits a tilt a whirl backbreaker that only gets two, and hits a really and Honestly Unique move. The best way I can describe it is a fall away slam with Orton twisting his body so he lands in a pinning position. Now that was cool, but it only got two. Orton tries to put Rico away with The Move I Used When I Wrestled in My Backyard, but Kenny Bolin but Rico’s foot on the ropes. Orton beat up on Bolin, but when he got back in the ring, Rico was waiting with an eye rake. Rico then hit a cool looking Northern Lights Suplex/Backdrop combination for the 3 count.

The thing is, I liked the match, but Orton really showed his inexperience in that match. He was obviously a rookie, you could tell. The way I see it, if they had this match right now and if it were given the right amount of time and Rico didn’t use the homosexual stuff for cheap comedy, it could be a really, really good match. However, I dare anyone to watch this match and then tell me that Orton has not improved. Winner: Rico Constantino. Match Rating: ** ½



Match 6: The Disciples of Synn & Leviathan vs. Trailer Park Trash, Damaja, & Nick Dinsmore


Hooray, another Dinsmore match! This time he’s teaming with Trailer Park Trash and Damaja, aka Danny Basham to take on B.J. Payne, Damien, and Leviathan (Batista). The match starts out with Damaja and Damien going at it with some relatively fast paced action including arm wrench reversals and a hurricanrana by Damaja. Payne tries to run in and is hit by Damaja with the worst Lou Thesz Press in the history of wrestling. He chokes out Payne and makes the tag to Nick Dinsmore. Dinsmore and Damaja hit Damien with a Double Back Body Drop and just kind of turn around to hit a charging Payne with a double flapjack. Not bad tag psychology considering that Damaja and Dinsmore aren’t common tag partners. Dinsmore hits Damien with a dropkick and right after, Damaja hits Payne with another dropkick and that sends the heels to the outside to regroup.

When Damien finally gets back in the ring, he punches Dinsmore in the stomach, stunning him long enough to tag in Payne. Damien holds Dinsmore as Payne punches him. Dinsmore ducks a Payne clothesline and hits the both hit a double cross body. They both wiggle in pain until Dinsmore tags in Trailer Park Trash for some reason and Payne tags in Leviathan because he is Leviathan. Leviathan goes for a clothesline but Trash ducks and jabs him a few times until he is finally brought down with a clothesline. Well, I figured it was only a matter of time. Anyway, Damaja gets in the ring and punches Leviathan a few times and tries to give him a hurricanrana, but gets a nasty powerbomb for his efforts. Dinsmore now gets in the ring and kicks Leviathan into the corner. Damaja hits him with a Stinger Splash and whips him into the double shoulder block of Trash and Dinsmore. Damaja and Dinsmore leave and Trash is in there alone with Leviathan. I’d like to say that Trash single-handedly wins the match, but we don’t live in Fantasy Land, and he gets quickly chokeslammed to the ground. Viva la Evolution!

Leviathan tags in Payne and he goes to work on Trash. Oh no. Oh dear God no… for some reason, Flash to get on the microphone and show us that he is, indeed, universally untalented. He has the worst mike skills ever. Anyway, Damien and Payne are double teaming Flash in the ring. Nothing really happens until Leviathan gets tagged back in and still not much happens. Ok, I need to get focused. Flash’s bad mike skills distracted me. Leviathan tags in Payne and Payne locks on a bear hug. A funny thing happens at this point. Nick Dinsmore is on the apron trying to rally the fans behind Trash, but instead, they chant Go, Nick, Go. Payne tags in Damien, but Trash reverses a double team maneuver and knocks the DoS down. Trash finally moves his fat ass to his corner and tags in Dinsmore.

Dinsmore comes in like a House of Fire taking both guys on. He back body drops Damien, hits Payne with a flying forearm, and gets Damien again with a side kick Uh oh… here comes Leviathan, but Dinsmore ducks a clothesline and hits a springboard cross body. All 6 men are in the ring now, but the camera focuses on Dinsmore going to the top rope. He tries to hit Leviathan with something, but Flash knocks him over. At least he can do SOMETHING right. Leviathan hits Dinsmore with a DDT, and gets the 3 count.

To celebrate, Leviathan stomps and growls! Yay! Some referee gets in the ring and tries to reverse the decision and ends up punching Payne. What the fuck? Damien takes care of the referee and Trash takes care of Damien. Damaja is beating up on Payne, but Leviathan and Damien are double teaming Trash. Synn comes in and maces everyone except her team and starts whipping the referee. The Disciples of Synn and Leviathan are beating everyone including referees, wrestlers, and I think a few fans, until Brock Lesnar and Shelton Benjamin hit the ring and clear house. The only one left in the ring is Leviathan who tries to clothesline them, but Brock and Shelton duck and hit a double rock bottom. Brock and Shelton celebrate, but Leviathan just sits up and rises to his feet, staring down the Minnesota Stretching Crew, however this time, he is without the stomping or growling. Winners: Leviathan and the Disciples of Synn. Match Rating: ***



Match 7: Flash vs. Rico Constantino


Enough of the cynical and witty comments about how much Flash sucks, let’s just get into it. Flash starts out like a house of fire by wrestling very aggressively against Rico with some knees, elbows, a flying forearm, and a clothesline over the top rope. It was actually decent! Anyway, Flash follows Rico outside and beats his head with the head of Kenny Bolin, Rico’s manager. Flash throws Rico back inside and quickly follows, but Rico gets the best of him and suplexes him out to dry on the top rope followed by a kick to the chest. Rico whips Flash into the ropes and ducks Flash’s clothesline and hits him with the Rico Spinning Kick. Rico picks up Flash, puts him in an arm wrench, and kicked him three times. Rico tries to go aerial with a flying leg drop, but Flash moves and, obviously is now going to be on the offensive. Rico tries to whip Flash, but he does an RVD like back somersault off of Rico’s back and follows it up with a nasty looking superkick. Flash lives up to his name with a flashy springboard leg drop while I thank God that he hasn’t sucked yet in this match, but hey, the match is still young.

Before I go on, I know I said I would try not to rip too much on Flash in this match, but I can’t resist. His ring attire in this match makes him look like the grand marshal of the gay pride parade. Imagine the Basham Brothers ring attire, but they are shorts, dangerously balancing on short short status... also a cut off tank top that could have easily been sold in the boys section of Wal-Mart. Anyway, he clotheslines Rico and beats his head on the turnbuckle followed by some Flair chops. Flash whips Rico to the other turnbuckle and springboard dropkicks him off of the rebound. I am digging Flash in this match. I hate it. Anyway, Flash tries to whip Rico once more, but Rico isn’t having it and he reverses with a Kevin Nashish sidewalk slam. Rico whips Flash into the turnbuckle and this match is quickly boring me. Other than some spots by Flash, it’s been a basic match with the same things over and over. All the turnbuckle usage, chops, and predictable momentum changes are just bothering me and boring me. Rico switches the cycle up with a choke on the ropes, but when Flash comes back, he whips Rico back into the turnbuckle and and Rico comes back with a… you guessed it… clothesline. Fuck this match is stale. Granted, it was an awesome clothesline, but still. Rico gets Flash up, and they must have known what to do next in the cycle because they BOTH hit a clothesline and are both laid out.

Both wrestlers are enjoying a well deserved rest from doing the same thing over and over again, and the ref is administering the 10 count. Kenny Bolin runs distraction as someone slides Bolin’s briefcase into the ring. Rico attempts to use it, but the wily and shitty Flash drop toe holds him, causing Rico to hit his head on the case. Flash picks up the case, tosses it to Rico, and hits a Vandaminator, however, it’s a standing side kick instead. Flash makes the cover and gets the three counts. Kenny Bolin gets in the ring and gets a beat down from Flash until Rico gets back up and hits Flash with the briefcase. Rico hits Flash with his move, the Sudden Impact, which is the Northern Lights Suplex/Back Body Drop combination. He hits this move twice and showboats to the crowd. Bolin and Rico beat up on Flash until Nick Dinsmore makes the save. Dinsmore clears the ring, but Flash hits him with the briefcase and leaves.

Well, that match was just really stale. I’m sorry. It had some decent spots in the beginning, but they just repeated the same basic system over and over again. I can’t say that Flash pissed me off though. He really wasn’t that bad, I’ll admit it. The match itself, however, wasn’t anything special. Winner: Flash. Match Rating: **1/2



Match 8: Leviathan vs. Sean Casey & Chris Michaels


Yes, yes… Leviathan is so powerful that he can take on TWO wrestlers! Casey and Michaels discuss strategy as Leviathan stands there hitting his chest. The two guys charge, but is stopped cold by a chokehold a piece by Leviathan. They kick out of it, and whip Leviathan into the ropes, but Leviathan double clotheslines them. Leviathan says “I Leviathan… I Strong!” and throws one of the two into the turnbuckle and stomps as the other one climbs the opposite turnbuckle. Leviathan turns around and Random Wrestler A who wasn’t the guy just getting stomped (Random Wrestler B) jumps off the top rope and Leviathan says “I Leviathan… I Strong Again!!” and catches Random Wrestler A in mid air. However, Random Wrestler B dropkicks Leviathan causing him to fall.

They both try to cover Leviathan, but Leviathan uses his strength to power out of it and gets right up as Random Wrestler A and B climb all over each other in some quasi homosexual jobber way. The rest of the match goes as follows:

Leviathan spinebusters A
Leviathan powerslams B
Leviathan Stomps and Growls
Leviathan Double Chokeslams A and B
Leviathan Pins A and B
Leviathan Stomps and Growls

Well, I can see why lots of people liked Leviathan in Ohio Valley. He plays his unstoppable force role very well with is in ring mannerisms and power moves. I will give him that. However, he really isn’t that different from his WWE role as Batista in terms of moves and ability. He hasn’t really improved, but at the same time, he hasn’t decreased his skills. As for the match, it was a throwaway. Winner: Leviathan. Match Rating: *



Well, that’s the end of Part 1. Check back next week for Part 2 where we will review 7 more matches, I will give my Final Thoughts on the DVD, and we will do some Random Stops Along the Way, Free Flowing Hostility, and Wrap it all Up. Until then, thanks for reading and check back for Part 2 NEXT WEEK!

GO PATRIOTS


----------------------------------------- Da J-Train --------------------------------------


merlinJAP@hotmail.com (If you email me, put FEEDBACK in the email subject or it will be deleted)


AIM: JPAW101…. Feel free to talk to me, I am friendly and give good hugs!









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