A Dumass Thought - Spike Dudley was screwed!!

A Dumass Thought - Spike Dudley was screwed!!
Submitted by Dumass on Monday, January 26, 2004 at 10:47 PM EST

Well....Well....Well...

It is I, your wrestling God, Dum 'Point the direction you want my erection' Ass.

Welcome one and all to A Dumass Thought, here on LordsofPain.net

Got a good number of fans emailing their requests and suggestions. I thank you all for writing it.

We have a guy who wanted to question my stance on what I said last week, so we'll critique his opinion and break it down....but first, RANDOM THOUGHTS~!

BEGIN RANDOM THOUGHTS~!
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1) Spike Dudley and Test deserve to get a shot at Chris Benoit. Wait..I got it! FATAL 4-WAY AT WRESTLEMAINA XX!! THINK OF THE BUYRATES!~!!!

2) 41 days until The Shield!!!!

3) My friend and I watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory the other night. Man, oh man. Having an MST3K night with that movie was terrific, especially when you find all the sexual referances in it.

4) Who can take a rainbow....sprinkle it with dew.....something something something....here's some candy for me and you..the Candyman can....DAMNIT!!!
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END RANDOM THOUGHTS~!
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WHEN FANS ATTACK!!!!!!
- Fan mail that is filled with hate.
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Recently, I've been getting a lot of positive feedback. People email me questions and their own opinions and I feel great answering and responding to the emails I get. Well, this email I'm posting here isn't really a negative email, it's more of a guy who questioned what I had to say on a certain subject. What it was and why I answered it are not related in anyway (I needed material this week because I'm a little slow on the intake on my history column), but I felt that I should answer this guy's question, whatever it may be. For rememberance, I will post what he is talking about when this thing starts. I just wanted to finally say that I'm open to this type of stuff. Here we go...
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Hi,

I'm new to reading you artciles on LOP but am really enjoying them so far. You are very opinionated and seem to stick to your guns. I would simply like a little further explaination as to your reasoining on the 10 minutes vs. 30 minutes argument you made during your latest article.

Now, I've always said that every wrestler should seize the opportunity they have, whether it be 5, 10, 15, or 30 minutes to do so. I do not play politics when something that the wrestlers should be able to do in 7 minutes also comes up when they have 45 minutes. Contrary to popular belief, you can have a good match in 7-10 minutes. You can have a really good match in 10-12 minutes. The average RAW match lasts about 6-10 minutes. Oh yeah, they have enough time to come out with 5-Star (*****) matches in 10 minutes. The reason why HBK/HHH got 30 minutes to showcase a match was because 1) they wrote it (and it's always official when you play favorites), and 2) Vince gave them the power to. Simple as that, everyone. For a wrestler to not be able to showoff his complete talents in the ring in under 10 minutes is bullshit and they should be re-evaluated or fired because they can't handle the pressure.

Hi. I'm glad you're liking the column so far. Yes, I did write that and I stick to what I say. Every wrestler can pull off a great match in less than 20 minutes; if they can't they should be fired or suspended; but I also do believe that wrestlers should get a fair amount of time to every match (Fair Amount = 12-16 minutes). I believe they should cut the time of promos and segments unless it's done before or during the match (meaning = do a promo and the fight starts right off) That's what I believe.

I think your view might be a little skewed as to why Vince supposedly used this match as an example. There are two reasons in particular and it has nothing to do with the length of the matches.

They have everything to do with length of matches. Granted they both sound like the same thing, but, if the writer of a match is in the match himself, surely he's going to make himself look like a million bucks. The idea I have on it is that Shawn Micheals and Triple H wrote sub-par match and Vince let them have all the time in the world to work it over. If Triple H was really high up on putting on great matches, explain the squash match against people like D-Lo Brown and Spike Dudley; hell, look at the matches against Booker T and Rob Van Dam.; those should be enough to show that he's not caring about putting on a good wrestling match, he's caring about making himself look better than anyone.

The HHH vs. HBK was a good example of how to work a match as far as telling a story and pacing high spots so that they mean more and get a reaction out of the crowd. I don't think Vince was saying every guy should go out there and be just like HBK or HHH. I think Vince was trying to say don't kill yourself by diving out of the ring simply for the sake of diving out of the ring or because you think it looks cool. Make it mean something when you do something like that. That is a principal im sure even the late Eddie Gilbert (who booked many territories during his day might I add)would agree with.

There are many examples of how to play out a good match which are 10x more entertaining and more educational than that one match. The length has alot to do on how spots are formed and how high-risk moves are played out; especially in the WWF/E, a place where high-impact spots were known to be dominate over technical and lucha wrestling. If Vince truly believes that he's telling the other wrestlers that he actually cares about spots that the cruiserweight wrestlers, then he should let them do what they do; excute high-risk moves to excite the crowd, that way they aren't bored by the time the main event rolls around. Grounding cruiserweights for the sake of safety is ridiculous since that obviously takes about 65% of their movelist and then, telling them that they need to not do high-impact spots (ie. Hurricane's chokeslam) because it look unrealistic; there goes another 15% from the movelist; leaving a heathly, but sorely unentertaining 20% of weardown moves, counters, psychology moves, and a finisher. That's not help and safety where I come from, that's professional wrestling suicide.

Plus, Eddie Gilbert was a promoter, yes, but he was a wrestler before hand. He promoted one of wrestling's more famous hardcore federations and ushered in a new style of competition and ideas that wrestling wasn't accustomed to since WCW was being as censored as the WWE is now and the WWF was trying to draw people in with weak gimmicks and boring storylines. That federation brought in the esteemed. Legends would fight there because they wanted to be remembered again, newcomers fought there so they could be known, and, there was Eddie, promoting high-impact, high-risk entertainment that was entertaining and progressive in story and psychology. Vince is just a promoter; Eddie was a wrestler and a promoter. Eddie knew what the wrestlers wanted and wasn't ashamed to lose in his own federation; making him better than Vince himself. The fed? Eastern Championship Wrestling; otherwise known as E(xtreme)C(hampionship)W(restling).

Wrestlers in the WWE and in professional wrestling in general, have went from well placed matches that depicted good versus evil with action coming in spurts or high spots, to almost constantly executing high spots.

That's the change in the times. Kayfabe being murdered has something to do with the lack of interest today's fan needs to have in order to enjoy what he is watching; but the "good ol' days" will probably never come back. Once people found out that being a pro wrestler is as easy as getting on an MTV reality show, the fanbase as grown, but so has the acceptance of fakeness in wrestling. Indeed anyone and everyone can become a pro wrestler. It's still a double-edged sword on certain points, like backyard wrestling and the growth of independant feds around the country. Hell, my fed grew out of the muck of sex-driven, violence-induced 1996-1997.

The destruction of what we used to watch is not entirely the fault of high spots and top-rope moves; it's the acts of certain people and the events that ruined wrestling forever. The Curtain Call, The Montreal Screwjob, The FINGERPOKE OF DOOM~!, The "shoot" on WCW, The Fall and Buyout of WCW, The InVasion, the death of Owen Hart....the list can go on and on. I will not blame the wrestling on the downfall of wrestling; especially since everyone can recall a problem they had with it at some point. My breaking point was Katie Vick. After that, I knew kayfabe was officially dead and wrestling was dead. It was coincedence that it was Triple H that did it. I would have felt disgusted if Buddy Rogers, Bret Hart, Harley Race, or Ric Flair had done it and I would have said the same thing. There are more factors to the death of the "ol' days" than people taking one too many planchas.

HHH and Shawn Michaels demonstrated simply how to work a match that tells a story. I do agree that being a tv match that it didn't HAVE to be thrity minutes, but I also think you have to give something like that away on tv from time to time. Smackdown gave away a one hour Iron Man match on free tv. Did you have a problem with that too?

Once again, a ton of matches could have done the same thing, and in less time. Bret Hart/Roddy Piper WM VII (13:50), Randy Savage's World Title climb up the ranks to win the title at Wrestlemania V just peaked at 20mins(21:36), Savage/Steamboat WM III (14:35), Bret/Razor RR '93 (17:52), Benoit/Angle RR '03 (17:18)...and the list can go on and on and on. These are just ones that come to mind and just in the WWF/E (not even all of them) and I'm not even including NWA, WCW, AAA, New Japan, All Japan, MPro, Memphis, Mid-South, and the thousands of other feds in the world that put on classic and memorable matches under 20 minutes; all of which were eons better than that HBK/HHH match.

And as for the Iron Man Smackdown match; that had nine pins, meaning the first pin would have ended the match at 10min:30sec, showing that they put up an entertaining match; but no, there were nine pins in 60 minutes. If you're looking for a jip for an Iron Man match, try the one at Wrestlemaina XII, where there was 60 minutes of wear-down moves; and in the end, there was still a screwjob. That was something I did have a problem with.

Many young wrestlers are far removed from the style of match that HBK and HHH put on, and I for one think that is a shame. This new generation for the most part is lacking the "it" factor and by that I'm not talking about looks or athletic ability. They simply just don't get it. They don't know how to capture an audience's attention like guys that have come before them do. A lot of this is done with psychology and small gestures, not monsterous dives off of ladders or numerous chairshots.

They obviously know how to get a crowd going. They are there to make the crowd entertained and into the event until the main event. That's the purpose of high-risk midcarders. Eric Bischoff exploited that fact in WCW when he had an entire hour dedicated to the midcard luchadores and other high-risk midcarders; and guess what happened? The crowds in every arena in the country ate it up and asked for seconds. It was the new era of wrestling, as it was advertised as "This isn't your grandpa's wrestling show"; and it worked. Younger fans and older fans connected and accepted the change. It was when certain aspects of wrestling that I've mentioned earlier happened that older fans were becoming very pissed off with what was going on. I've already made this point.

Older wrestlers LIVED their gimmick. It gave an air of reality to their performances. You believed that if you ran into that guy on the street that you would indeed be meeting the person that you saw on your television screen every Saturday morning.

Different times calls for different ideas and talents. Lou Thez, Bruiser Brody, and Stu Hart are dead. Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, and Bret Hart are not getting any younger. Times change and so do interests and directions. Everything in this sport is written in pencil; erasing borders and boundaries to try and become more entertaining. That's how wrestling is and it's not changing.

A good example of what repeated high spots can do to a wrestler/character is evident with the Dudleys of the RAW roster. The Dudleys don't appear to get as big of a crowd reaction as they once did during their entrance and after years of beating their bodies up they simply aren't the wrestlers they were a few years ago. You may argue that they are still over by saying..."Look at all the We Want Tables chants they get". That is exactly what I am talking about though. The TABLES are getting the chants, not The Dudleys so the Dudleys are almost forced to keep using tables in order to remain popular. After a few years The Dudleys have done almost every table spot you could think of so now when they simply put someone through a table with a 3D it doesn�t have quite the same effect because it is something the fans have seen on a regular basis for many years. Thus the Dudleys popularity is in a decline at the moment. It is almost as though they have been type cast. Did you notice how when they tried to give D-von a different gimmick that it failed miserably?

First off, the Dudleys were never good wrestlers. Their entire angle and reputation was built on the massively perfect promos that they did. They ripped the crowd apart and became legitiment heels; forcing the crowd to hate them by insulting them and giving open challenges. That's why the Dudleys popularity dropped after some time in the WWF/E; they weren't given the correct mic time to assert that they were the massive heels that they were. The Dudleys should have never become faces, ever. Bubba Ray and D-Von's calling in life was to have people pay money to be insulted and (hopefully, but not very often) get their asses kicked for it. In the WWF/E, the Dudleys were doomed to fail because their characters didn't fit well with what Vince wanted for them. They were brash, untamed rebels that talked shit and did something about it; Vince wanted Bubba to go back to 1995 and st-t-t-t-st-t-t-t-studder because he felt that would get them over when they already were.

The tables prop was something they were using for years. They have been using it for 9 years now; and it still suits them well. If they stopped using it and made up for it by being heels and playing to the crowd like they used to, I doubt anyone would care; in fact, I'm sure all the ECW marks will get out of their little hole in the ground and start watching again because it reminds them of how it used to be.

And as for D-Von's little gimmick change being a failure, I would like the names of any tag team partner who became a success when the group was broken up.

Marty Jannety/Shawn Micheals - The Rockers - #33 on Top 100 Tag Teams of
the PWI Years, 1986 Tag Team of the Year; 3rd Runner-up

Shawn - We all know.

Marty - Who gives a fuck?

Ax/Smash/Crush - Demolition - #59 on Top 100 Tag Teams of
the PWI Years, 1988 Tag Team of the Year; 2nd Runner-up, 1989 & 1990
Tag Team of the Year; 1st Runner-up

Ax - Who gives a fuck?

Smash - Repo Man...that's all.

Crush - .......No.

Booker T/Stevie Ray - Harlem Heat - #62 on Top 100 Tag Teams of
the PWI Years, 1999 Tag Team of the Year; 3nd Runner-up, 1995 & 1996
Tag Team of the Year; Tag Team of the Year

Booker T - We all know.

Stevie Ray - Who gives a fuck?

Bret Hart/Jim Neidhart - The Hart Foundation - #37 on Top 100 Tag Teams of
the PWI Years, 1987 Tag Team of the Year; 1st Runner-up

Bret Hart - We all know.

Jim Neidhart - Who gives a fuck?

I could keep going with this, but I'll stop. Point is, the gimmick failed because it broke the Dudleys apart. You see that? THE DUDLEYS BROKE UP!! NOT THE TABLES!!

Sure if you only have 10 minutes on tv you are expected to have to work at a faster pace, but if you do work your way up to getting an opportunity to show for 30 minutes then you need to be able to work a slower paced match that tells a better story and leads to something. Wrestling shouldn�t be just about showing flashy moves in the ring and sadly that is what many newcomers have relegated it to.

That's the thing. It should be treated fair and balanced; that way, all the wrestlers can showcase themselves accordingly, but it's not.

I don't blame the newcomers to wrestling because all the guys the WWE has hired recently (Ultimo, London, Spanky, Rey) have been wrestling for 7+ years (except Ultimo, who is coming on at 23 years); I blame all the workers who can't cut it in less than 20 minutes. I've given examples and I've given my reasons. There is no acceptance for not going out there and performing to the best of someone's ability just because they are pissed that they don't have enough time to say "Hi Mom!!" on TV.

On the same respect to the wrestlers, it is wrong for Vince to take high-risk moves that make the wrestler who he/she is because of the fact that it takes away from his son-in-law's TV time and heat. All wrestlers should every well be treated cleanly and fairly; reguardless of talent, past employers (and yes, Vince is an equal-opportunity screwer), position in the company, or anything else.

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Ah, that was fun. Thank yous go to William, who sent that in. It was a headscratcher, and yes, you make good points to your arguments. I thank you.
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Well, that's all for this week. I hope you all learned something tonight. I was going to give my thoughts on the Royal Rumble last night, but when conversation like this happens, you know that my opinion couldn't be any good.
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Dumass: Hey.

Friend: Hey. You know there's a PPV tonight?

Dumass: Really?

Friend: Yeah.

Dumass: Damn. Which one is it?
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Oh well, I can't wait for Summerslam. That's the next one, right?

Thanks for reading,

Eat a bag of hell,

Dumass

Lethal Wrestling: BENOIT WINS!! BENOIT WINS!!

*NEW GALLERY* Wow! Very Rare but AMAZING Natalya Neidhart Bedroom Photos!

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